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About The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933 | View Entire Issue (April 28, 1894)
California State Analyst.
Royal Baking Powder is Superior
to all in Purity and Strength.
" For purity and care in preparation the Royal
Baking Powder equals any in the market, and
our test shows that it has greater leavening
power than any of which we have any knowledge."
Prof. Chemistry, University sf California,
Analyst California State Board of Health, etc., etc.
No careful housekeeper can afford to
use any baking powder but Royal.
JOHN L. ON SHAKESPEARE.
' At One Tlma Ha XV n All Ttli-lil. hnt. 'n
Ho Ain't In It. Hwf
'not long ago," said a congressman to
A. H. Lewis (Dan Quin), the Washington
correspondent of the Chicago Times, "I met
John L. Sullivan, the ex-fighter. . It was
over in Boston. I bad gone into a hostelry
kept by one Paddy Keardon, I believe, who
is also more or less famous as a sporting
character. I looked at the bag ex-champion
with some interest. He waseating a lunch.
There was enough of it for two men. About
him hovered a buzzing swarm of admirers.
1 "Most of them were theatrical people.
They were talking Btage, of course. Very
hoppy people, these actors. Sullivan was
1 : ;.,.,...:.!. . r .1 . ... ..; ...i. : ..i-
was delightful. It was clear to any onlook
er that the big pugilist regarded himself as
quite as much of a histrion as any, and
wnen ne voucasaiea nis views no Kina oi
'Oh, I'll tell you ducks about Shake
speare.' he finally said as he . sopped one
tremendous hand in the finger bowl as if it
had beena wash basin. . 'Shakespeare was
all riirht. That mnir was all rieht in his
day. Understand f But that was long ago.
He's a has been. That's what Shakespeare
is, and he'd know it if he was here himself.
And he'd tell you blokes so that's what
" 'Now, I know something about this my
self. See? I'm on the stage, and I'm tak
ing in the boodle, too, you can bet your life.
Now, I tell you mugs the people don't want
these Shakespearin plays. They've got be
yond it that's what they have. We ain't
got no Shakespearin actors now anyhow.
That fellow Barrett was the best of 'em.
That mug was Shakespearin. And be was
on the level that's what Barrett was. But
he's dead. He ain't in it no longer. And
now who can do Shakespeare? There's two
or three trying ft, but they're a lot of muck
ers a lot of first class guys. Those mugs
make me sick. Understand? They make
me tired on the dead they do.' "
, As to His Appearance. .
"Can you describe the man you saw hang
ing about the house the day before the rob
bery?" inquired the detective.
The Perkins Junction storekeeper, whose
place of business had been broken into ana
robbed of a considerable quantity of plug
tobacco, canned tomatoes and dried peaches,
together with the entire contents of the
cash drawer, amounting to $1.66, reflected
a moment and then asked:
"Do you know Bill Quinn?" ' ,
"I don't think I dq."
"Lives down in the Wallick neighbor
hood." "I don't know him." r
The merchant shifted his quid to the oth
er cheek, chewed thoughtfully awhile and
said: ' ,
"Know Si Roberts?"
- "Auctioneer. Hangs round Thompson's
a good deal.
"Never heard of him. But as to this man
you saw loafing about here before the rob
bery took place, I would like to have you
describe bim as well as you can."
. Again the storekeeper reflected.
"Well," be said at last, "he looks some
like Bill Quinn and some like Si Roberts."
Chicago Tribune. '
of disease feed on life, and '
are only overcome by . the
making of sound, healthy
the Cream of Cod-liver Oil,
is an easy, palatable fat food
that makes new tissue quick
ly and gives strength. 'Phy
sicians, the world over, en
Don't ba deceived by Substitutes!
Prepared by Soott 4 Bowno, N. Y. All DraggUU.
but it is
not aheiid of bread made with
Every oau is guaranteed pure.
M ilnntitmntlv.i and flAnnlA
who have weak lungs or Asth
ma, should use Piso's Cure for
Consumption, It has cored
thousands. It has not injur
ea una. it is nut paa to uute.
it ib too oestoougn syrup.
Bold everywhere. sac.
FUNNY AMERICAN SLANG.
A Simple Sentence Creates an Amusing
Scene in a Devonshire Church.
It was the privilege of a certain De
troiter to be invited to the country seat
of a delightful English family in Devon
shire. He is rather shy, and althpugh
accomplished and a good story teller,
did not make great efforts to foist his
talents upon the congregation of guests
who were assembled there and who com
prised many bright people. One of the
daughters finally said to him: '
"Mr. G , do you know one thing
which has surprised me awfully
"No. What is it?"
"You have been here a week now and
haven't used any slang."
: " Well, really I don't think that P-
' "OW please use some just to oblige
me. - I : have heard so much ' about
"I can't think of any just now, but
I'll tell you what I'll do. The first time
I think of something I'll say it."
"Very well;' but mind, it must be W'
fully American, you know."
The next Sunday every one went to
church, for the family homestead was
located near a village which was said to
be one of the most orthodox places in
that part of England. , No one would
even ride to church, except those who
were too old to walk or we're disabled.
The American walked with the eldest
daughter, and her five sisters came on
behind, for, like most English families,
the girls were in the majority.
When they were all seated and the
gnests managed to crowd into the little,
church, the choir, composed of village
girls, sang in a very pleasing manner.
Before beginning the sermon the min
ister, a small man who spoke slowly,
"It is with extreme reluctance that I
would call your attention to the fact
that it is necessary to realize a small
sum for the benefit of our choir who,
as you know have kindly volunteered
All the guests looked at one another,
for extra contributions for some pretext
had been the rule and not the exception
for the last three months.
"I know that you have already given
generously for various causes and I
dislike to tax you all but our young
friends whose voices have just now
blended so harmoniously and pleasing
ly to the ear are perhaps entitled to
some slight recompense for their great
services in the past and their earnest
As the minister proceeded, getting
more and more monotonous, until it
seemed as though he would never reach
the conclusion of his request, the Ameri
can shifted uneasily and then, leaning
over, whispered to the girl who had
asked for a little slang:
"Oh, tell him to cut it short and pass
the platel" s
The girl was nearly convulsed with
laughter, but, managing to control her
self, leaned over and said to the sister
sitting next to her :
"Mr. says to tell him to cut it
short and pass the plate."
The remark went along the line, and
when the five . sisters had absorbed it
they were fairly shaking with suppressed
laughter. Then it was passed on to the
guests, and before the minister had con
cluded his dissertation every one in the
church was striving to suppress outward
indication of merriment by means of
handkerchiefs. But when the plate was
really circulated the eldest sister tittered
loudly and the five sisters followed, the
youngest whispering lightly:
"Cut him short and pass the plater
The American was a lion for the rest
of the day, and the half a dozen girls all
vied with each other in showering at
tentions upon him, while the old gentle
man, their father, declared that Amer
ican slang was awfully funny, don't you
know. New York Telegram.
Where Tortoise Shell Conies From
I have understood that the finest tor
toise shell comes from the Indian archi
pelago and is shipped from Singapore,
and much of it is obtained on the Flor
ida coast. There are three rows of
plates on the back, called "blades" by
In the central row are five plates, and
in each of the others four plates, the
latter containing the best material. Be
sides these there are twenty-five small
plates around the edges of the shell,
known as "feet" or "noses." The big
gest turtle does not furnish more than
sixteen pounds of tortoise shell. Form
erly the under shell was thrown away,
being considered worthless, but at pres
ent it is very highly valued for its deli-,
cacy of coloring. Nowadays a very
beautiful .imitation of tortoise shell is
made of cows' horns. Interview in
Washington Star. . ' -
TRIBULATIONS OF A SWELL.
New .Yorkers Interested In the Fortunes
and Misfortunes of. Hubert I.. Cutting.
The Cutting fntnily has always ranked
among the very tiptoppers of New York's
social Four tlaa
dred, and the met
pers have usually
accorded -. liberal
space to accounts
of anything out of
the ordinary that
may have happen
ed among its mem;
bers. To Robert
L. Cutting, the
third, as he used
to be called in the
days when his
ROBERT L. CUTTING. . father still lived,
the press has, however, been particularly
generous, giving him whole columns when
ever he chose to do anything for the publio
edification or amusement.
When it was found, therefore, that the
young man had been disinherited by his
father, whose sudden death not lontc ago
had also been treated as a matter of im
portance, it was but the trick of an old
habit for the city editors to make a great
to do, and some of them were able to plume
themselves on the fact that they had pre
dicted that very catastrophe when the
young man contracted the marriage with
the pretty actress which was the cause of it.
Columns had been, printed about, the
marriage, and "society" and the newspa
pers joined voices itppronouncing it a ma-
salliance. Perhaps it was. 1 be bride, Min
nie Seligman, was a well known actress of
Jewish parentage. The groom also had
something of a reputation as an actor, but
only in an amateurish way and for society
purposes. When his father cut off his al
lowance of 1350 a month, however, he took
to the professional boards in a manful en
deavor to earn his own living. Then the
papers gave him more columns, some 'of
them copiously illustrated with pictures of
a man with abnormally long legs in excess
ively awkward attitudes, supposed to rep
resent the ambitious amateur facing a mis
Ridicule was too much for him, and Mr,
Cutting felt obliged to retire from the pro
fession he bad tried to make his own. The
press vouchsafed him no further attention
after that until he appeared in court one
day and qualified as executor under his
grandfather's will, demanding an account
ing of the estate from bis uncle, who is an
executor and trustee under the will, but
who did not know much about the estate's
affairs, having left the management there
of to his brother, the young man's father.
This proceeding was admittedly a mere
preliminary to the young man s contest
against the legality of the will of his father,
which disinherited bim, but the usual col
nmns got into the newspapers, as more col
umns probably will when the actual contest
Is begun. When that is over, Mr. Cutting
will probably find himself sufficiently ad
vertised to return to the stage again if he
so elects. But perhaps he won't have to.
Not Necessary. '.
Clerk I can't live on $40 per month.
Employer I never insisted on your liv
': The Girl With Rubber Boots. 4
Tripping down the sidewalk snowy.
Bravely wuding through the slush,
Modestly her skirts uplifting,
'-, . Yet. without the slightest blush,
f- Ethel wends, her way regardless
Which may be the easiest routes.
Slush lo her has lost ils terrors
She has ou lier rubber boots. '
See her coming to a crossing,
Where the other girls all stop, '
Poising, startled, on the curbstone,
Making up their minds to hop.
On she strides, her skirts upraising
With both hands as high as suits
Her convenience. She's not bothered
She has on her rubber boots. t
And those horrid men behind her
Sadly disappointed seem.
Ethel Is so sweet and dainty,
Graceful as an artist's dreart.
But when she starts o'er the eros-'an
Only one glance each man shootc
Toward her then his eyes rore -fals-where
- " ,
She has on her rubber boots.
' Soinerville Journal.
Answered the Purpose.. ,
Mrs. Parker I didn't see your friend,
Mrs. Jackson, at the reception. '
Mrs. Barker She was too ill to go. But
1 arranged with the reporters to specially
mention her absence and give a full de
scription of what she had intended to wear.
. Natural Profit.
Teacher Of what profit is natural his
tory to usf ..
Pupil Twenty cents.
Teacher Twenty cents! How sof
Pupil Because you buy it at 80 cents
and sell it to us at a dollar. Hallo. .
In the days of William the Conqueror
it was more dangerous to kill a rabbit
than a man. A murderer could escape
with payment of a fine; a rabbit slayer
was put to death.
-, A prominent clergyman of Mississippi re
commends " Golden Medical Discovery'' to
suffering humanity everywhere. The ''Dis
covery '" builds up the strength and solid
flesh when reduced below a healthy standard.
DYSPEPSIA AND GENERAL DEBILITY.
Rev. A. H. MEVS, of Friar's Point, Coahoma
on., Mississippi, writes !
" Having suffered for a
number of years with
dyspepsia, torpid liver
and general debility,
and having tried sever
al physicians with little
or no benefit, I resolv
ed, as a last resort, to
at the world's Dispen
sary. Being advised by
them to use Dr. Pierce's
Golden Medical Dis
covery, I did so, mid
after using several bot
tles, I feel entirely re-
Rbv. A. H. Mevs. i take great p'leasura
in recommending your medicines to suffering
Itia sold on a guarantee by ail dru?
o-lat-i Tt. nuraa Tnninient ConsumDtlon
Sad is tke bat dough a& Croup Curat
Teaching a Dog.'
Are anecdotes of domestic animals ever
manufactured f" How many stories about
dogs are true? A dog has a penny given to
him. He trots off at once to the baker
and exchanges his penny for a bun. The
bun be bolts. So far the story Is truthful.
There is a fine collie in Jersey City, who
was trained to do this trick first at home
when a puppy. There was a special penny
kept for him. It had a small hole drilled
through it. That penny was kept on the
mantelpiece in the dining room, and the
piece of money was always given to Scot
before he was fed. He would then take it
In his mouth and put it in his mistress'
band, 1 when at once his plate with' food
would be given to him in the outhouse. ' It
took a very little time to associate in the
dog's brain the idea of an exchange of
money and food, and in a week he would
carry the penny to a baker and get his bun,
the transaction having been first explained
to the baker.
There was, however, a curious ending.
The exact coin with the hole in it was lost,
and at first Scot put no faith in any penny
that had no hole in it. It was a valueless
counterfeit to him. At least ten days'
teaching was necessary before Scot under
stood that all pennies, with or without
holes, were the current coins of the realm.
New York Times.
THE COMPLEXION OF A CHINESE
Is not yellower than that of an unfortunate In
dividual whofe liver eomplnint has assumed the
chronic form. The eyeballs of the fufferer as
sume a saffron hue, there is dull pain in the re-
gion of the organ affected, the tongue is coated
reath sr ur, sick hf adnches usua ly hut not al
ways occur, and there is sometimes dizziness on
arising from a sitting posture. Constipation
and dyspepsia are also attendants of this very
common nilmeut, always initsaggr vatedform,
liable to breed abscesses of the liver, whleh are
very dangerous. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters
wholly eridicates it, as well a the troubles
complicated with it and which it originates.
In clii Is and fever, a complaint wnich always
yields to the Bitters, the liver Is seriously in
volved. This fine alterative tonio removes eos-
tiveness and Indigestion, rheumatic, nervous
and kidney trouble and debility.
Miss Wallop (the teachert Tommv. did I see
yu whispering with the boy next you Just now?
lommy iso, ma am: your uacic was turned.
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing io the taste, and acts
gently jet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys
tem effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro
duced, pleasing to the tasto and ac
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known. '
Syrup of Fifjs is for sale in BOo
and $1 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly for any one who
wibues to try iu uo noi accept any
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL,
LOUISVILLE. Kt. NEW YORK, N.Y.
That frequently occurs with poor
r Belting and Hose, but not with .
. Maltese Cr- ss or Rei Strip Belt
ing, or Maltese Cross, Ridgewood
or Watftbont Steam and W. ter
Hose. E ery length guaranteed.
. Aslt your dealer for tiiese supe- ;
Gutta Pefcha and Rubber Mfg. Co.,
. Portland, Or.
SOOTHES, SUBDUES, CURES.
uon't buy any dm tne
ii- i,.. ; ,t - . i r
WHERE DIRT GATHERS, WASTE RULES.'
creat'saving RESULTS FROM THE USE OF
Hardware and Builders' Supplies,
289 WASHINGTON ST.,
Cut this advertisement out, and
Printed with Jaenecke-Ull-nian
Ink. PALMER & REY,
Agents. ' ' '
The different organs of the body are very
sympathetic . One is very apt to feel the
pain of another, and it is not always easy
to locate the trouble exactly. A weak back
not Infrequently occasions a pain in the
side, and one limb often aches out of syni
Dathy for another.
Allcock'b Poboos Plarter8 are lust the
remedy in such cases. They are soothing
in lueir eiiect, aim uraw out ine pain so
that the back or side or limbs are supple
instead of stiff, and free to perform their
They have been tried by thousands and
millions of people in every land, and with
one uniiorm result, entire satisfaction.
Beandbeth's Fills will relieve rheuma
tism. . . . .
- 11. in nub every seuuiueiiitu gin uiHt or vs,
" Lord, Lord," that gets a decent foreign hus-
The good reputation of "Brown's Bron
chial Jrocnes " tor tne reliet ot cougns
colds and throat diseases has given them a
lavoraDie notoriety. .
Closeletgh It gives me great pleasure to offer
you this cigar. Jones Great Scot! I is it that
oaar . :
" I can heartily say to any young man who Is
wanting good employment, work for Johnson &
Co., follow their iiistruc ions, and you will suc
ceed." So writes an agent of B.F.Johnson &
Co. of Richmond, Va., and that is the way all
oi tneir men lais.
BEWARE OF OINTMENTS FOR CA
TARRH THAT CONTAIN BIERCCRT,
As mercury will surely destroy the eense of
smell and completely derange tne wnoie system
wtien entering it through the mucous surfaces.
Such art cles should never be used except on
prescriptions from reputable physicians, as the
lamage they will do is tenfold to tbe good you
can possibly derive from them. Hall's Catarrh
Cure manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., To
ledo, o., contains no mercury, ann is taken niter
uallv. actinar d rectlv upon tne blood and mn
cons surfaces of the system. In buying Hall's
Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine It
is taken lniernai'y ana maae in xoieao, onio,
bv F. J. Cheney & Co. Testimonials free.
f38old by druggists; price, 76 cents per
Dome. '. '
Dse Knamellne Stove Polish: no duat no smell,
Tet Gibmka for breakfast.
Swift, light, Strong,
Reliable and Beau
tlful. A live agent wanted in
every eity and town in Ore
gon, Washington and Idaho.
Send for oatalogue and
FRED T. MERRILL CYCLE CO.,
327 Washington St., Portland, Or.
PORTLAND SEED" CO.,
171 Second Street, - Portland, Or,
tW Send for catalogue.
And GOPHERS Totally Exterminated by
WHEELER'S CARBON BISULPHIDE.
V. A. Cook & Co., Sole Agents; Portland
W. I.. Donor, as rttoki
equals cusiom work, costing trom
' A iu a Di-st value lor inc monev
in the world. Name and Dries
stamped on the bottom. Every
ipair warranted, lake no substi
tute, bee local papers for full
lines jor laaics ana gen-
Lucmcn or scna lor il
structions hnw In m-
derby mail. Postage free. You can get the best
v uctucia yviw piutn our snoes.
Free by Mail
On receipt of Cub Dolus
A Whole Garden.
Let us mall you our Illustrated Catalogue which
wmieiiyouaiiaDoutu. sunset need and nam
Co. (Sherwood Hall Nursery Co.), 427-S Sansomf
Street, Una Francisco. Selected Seeds a specialty
P. N..U. No. 641-8. F. N. U. No. 618
IF YOUE BUSINESS DOES NOT PAY,
Chiokens are easily and successfully
raised by using the Petaluma In
cubators and Brooders. Our 11
lustrated cataloeue tells all about it
retaiuma you want strong, vigorous cnicics
.!.,...... T ....... - , .1 -1 .wV-., Xf .. ..l.
.? V nig rnuiuv ifuoe. nowiiuiu kii. 1171 "'-"c nnu viuici vuiniewu.-
" era, Books, Caponizing TooIb, Fountains, Flood's Roup Cure, Morris
rouitry t;ure, ureosozone tne great enicKen-iice anier ana every otnei
article reaulred bv poultry raisers. See the machines in operation at
our exhibit with the Norwalk OBtrich Farm, Midwinter Fair, hatching
ostriches and all kinds of rggs. Catalogue free; if you want It, write
PETALUMA INGUdATUK CO..
760 752-754 766 Main street, Petaluma, Cal.
4, 30, 86, 48 and 12 Inches Wide,
' 1 CENT SQUARE FOOT.
O. B. STUBBS,
send it when you write. '
i - FOR CHILDREN TEETHING
V Tmr sale by all MrnggUU.--6 Cents a bttU. j 1
Hood's is Good
' it. ..-.'-.
Makes Pure Blood
Scrofula Thoroughly Eradicated.
"C. I. Hood & Co., Lowell, Mass. : . ;
" It is with pleasure that, I give tou the details
of our little May's sickness and her return to
health by the use of Hood's SatsapariUa. She
was taken down with
. Fever and a, Bad Cough.
Following this a sore came on her right side be
tween the two lower ribs. In a short time an
other broke on the left side. She would tuko
spells of sore mouth and when we had succeed
ed in overcoming this sho would suiter with at
tacks of high fever and expel bloody looking
corruption. Her head was afl'ected and ma ter
oozed from her ears. Alter each attack she be-
came worse and all treatment failed to give her
relief until we began to use Hood's Sarsaparilla.
After she had taken ore-balf bottle we could see
that she was better. We continued until she
had taken three bottles. Nw she looks like
The Bloom of Health
and Is fat as a pig. We feel eratef ul, and ennnot
pay too much in favor of Hn&d's SarsHpatilia,"
Mas. A. M. Adams, Iuiubq, Tennessee.
Hood's Pills act easily, yet promptly and
efficiently, on the liver and bowels. 25c.
fcnr refrtilar abscriher of this paper. Sea condition m ad
rtunient No. 1 , ftorn weeks past.
fc any regular subscriber of this paper as per advertisements
Hs. 2 and 3 in this series. Ollirr extravagant offers will ba
Butde hereafter. The Aermotor Co, will distribute.
IN CASH, I N FMZES for the best essays written by I lie wife, ton
Qaugnwr oi a user or a wma-niiu, answer mirine question,
For conditions of coui
peti! ion ami amounts and-
nuintters til prizes
scim zor particulars to
uucuro, or to its.
Sioux City, la,,
Park Place, New
rxmnVnco Essays must be
fiig or Geared,
referred in kriK
6a::io price, All bttwl.
Bladder, Urinary and Liver Diseases Dronsv
Gravel and Diabetes are cured by
THE BEST KIDNEY
AND LIVER MEDICINE.
Cures Bright'! Disease, Retention or Non-retention
of Urine, Fains in the Back, Loins or
Cures Intemperance. Nervous Diseases. Genera
Debility, Female Weakness and Excesses.
Cures Biliousness, Headache, Jaundice, Sour .
Stomach, Dyspepsia, Constipation and Piles.
ACTS AT ONCE on the Kldnevn. I, liar
and Bowel, restoring them to a healthy ao
tion, and CliKKS when all other medicines
fail. Hundreds have been saved who have been
given up to die by friends and physicians.
SOLD BV ALL IIRIJUUIS'1 8.
II B"D Dr- Williams' Indian Pile
I Kb JS Ointment will cure Blind,
B r Bleeding and Itching Piles.
I It absorbs the tumors, allays
B ftH the Itching at once, acts as a poul-
. tice, gives instant relief. Dr. Will-
lams' Indian Pile Ointment Is prepared
for Piles and Itchincr of thn nr i va ta
parts. Every box is warranted. B v drug-
and $1.00 Williams manufacturing co.,
wftlHKIn ThofirAst Cure
forCatarrh.Deafness.Colds, Sore Throat,
Breath l ljstores the Voice, Sense oi
mail. K. t
f JiVOll Y as ;., JTons.,
an nia out urootiyu, a. k
Belting, Packing and Hose, Boots and
Shoes, Rubber and Oil Clothing,
Druggists' Rubber Goods, v '
Goodyear Rubber Co,
79 ana 75 first St., Portland, Or. ,
Write for catalogue free.
Printed with Jaenecke-UJl-
man Ink. PALMER & KEY,
Agents. . J
Aerinotor Feed Cutter,
Circular Saw and Swing Steel Frame,
A IIP I WM9