' A .
The
Hood
Glacier.
It's a Cold Day When We Cet Left.
VOL. 5. HOOD RIVER, OREGON, SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 10, 1894. NO. 37.
L ' ' ' ' ' '
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LATE NEWS.
Chris Evans pursuers have given up
their pursuit. ,
, Sturgeon now; bring more on the Co
lumbia river than salmon that is, Bteel
head ealmon which is something here
' tofore unknown. ,
The recent storms played havoc with
Indian settlements at North Vancouver
Island. Indian cabins were swept away,
and many Indians are homeless.
The owner of the United Verde cop
per mines in Yavapai county,- A. T., is
to build a railroad to connect with the
Santa Fe, a distance of twenty-eight
miles. 1
The report of the expert who exam
ined the affairs of the wrecked Santa
Clara Bank places the joint defalcation
and debt of Leonard and Howard at $67,
997.65. , V
The great tunnel through the Santa
, Lucia Mountains, which the Southern
Pacific Company has been boring for
more than a year past, has been finished.
It is nearly 4,000 feet long, and is one of
the largest and most important tunnels
in this country. Four short tunnels re
main to be completed. ;
Another report places Evans and Morel
in Lower California. A strong feeling
exists in San Diego that the two out
laws have really "worked themselves
across the border, and Detective Sam
- Black, who was shot at Sampson Flat
last summer, will head a posse to assist
the Mexican authorities in running the
men down.
The other night one of the large reser
voirs at Pasadena, belonging to the Pas
adena Improvement Company, located
at Altadena, a mile north of the termi
nal railway tracks, broke, and the water
rushed out, doing thousands of dollars'
worth of damage. The flood cut a ditch
averaging 200 feet wide and over a mile
long, and in its course swept away or
ange groves, grain fields and railroad
tracks. The loss to orchardists and grain
farmers will be very large, and it is likely
to be brought home to the owners of the
reservoir, as it is claimed the break oc
curred through its faulty construction.
Chairman C. H. Boss and other mem
bers of the committee of the Board of
Horticulture in preparation for the Fruit
Growers' Convention to be held at Spo
, kane have been very busy lately making
detailed arrangements for the meeting.
A number of the nurserymen of the
State have petitioned the board to issue
a call for those engaged in that industry
to meet and organize a nurserymen's
association. A call will be issued invit
ing also the nurseries of Oregon, Idaho
and British Columbia to unite in an asso
ciation for the entire Northwest to, as
semble at Spokane during the conven
tion. The beekeepers of these States
will also be invited to attend with a view
of forming an organization of the honey
industry.
The American Protective Association
has finally made its appearance in Port
land. Quietly for months past organ
izers have been at work, but nothing
was known nor suspected Toy the public
' until a few days ago when Chief of Police
Hunt called his force before him and
lectured them at great length regarding
the evil results of policemen allying
themselves to secret societies whose ob
jects are inimical to those of any par
ticular church or creed. Subsequently
it was learned that twenty members of
the force had joined this anti-Catholic
' society. ' Confidential circulars have
been sent out by the society to a selected
portion of the residents of Portland set
ting forth its object. It is supposed to
already have a membership of at least
1,500.
United States Judge- Beatty has de
cided the noted case involving title to
640 acres of valuable land in the vicinity
of the heart of the Nez Perce Indian
reservation. He issued an order re
straining the Interior Department from
ejecting the heirs from the reservation.
", , One Craig settled on the land under the
. Oregon donation act of 1854.. He be
came a staunch friend of the' Indians,
and they recognized his right in a treaty
which the government subsequently
ratified. Craig applied for a patent in
1869, but died before it was granted, and
- the patent was never issued. ' Judge
Beatty held that Craig acted within the
law and that his title is valid, notwith
standing the lapse. The land inques
. tion is worth $35,000 in view of the fact
that the reservation is soon to be thrown
open and hundreds of boomers are wait
ing already to make a grand rush for the
land. The case is peculiar, as it is one
of the isolated instances of the Interior
Department being enjoined in order to
allow a white man land in an Indian
reservation. Colonel Craig was the man
to whom Joaquin Miller gave the credit
for the true derivation of the name of
Idaho. ,
THE MIDWINTER EXPOSITION.
fWekly Circular Letter-No. 12.
San Francisco, Jan. 26, 1894.
On the eve of the day for the official
ceremonial opening of the Midwinter
Exposition,, that grand industrial dis
play comes nearer to being ready for the
inspection of the public than has been
any international exposition the world
has ever seen. : The buildings of the ex
position itself : are all finished. The
sound of the hammer which m7 still
be heard during the first days after the
official opening will be heard in connec
tion with the installation of exhibits
only; and the reason for this conceded
delay in.the installation of some of the
exhibits lies in the fact that Chicago is
so far away, that it was so hard to get
cars in time for the speedy transporta
tion of foreign exhibits, and in the fur
ther fact that California is the only part
of this great western world where snow
does not impede progress by rail. A
hundred cars containing foreign exhibits
intended for the Midwinter Exposition
were sadly delayed en route across the
continent, and these are they that have
not yet been set up in all their glory,
though, only a few days more will elapse
before the perfection of the grand pic
ture pf industry and progress in which
they are to play so important a part.
The winter rains, which have in many
instances dampened the ardor of exposi
tion enthusiasts, have been working
wonders in "everybody's garden" in
Golden Gate park. Toilers in wintry
woods in eastern sections of this great
land, and workers amid the snows of
bleak regions far away from California
would almost give their eyes, no doubt,
to catch one glimpse of the green lawns
and springing flowers in the midst of
which this great exposition has been
erected. Many Easterners are already
here, and are reveling in scenes that are
new to them and joining in the univer
sal wonderment that a great city has
sprung up in these few months, here by
the sic1 3 of the Golden' Gate, almost as
rapidly as vegetation develops in this
glorious climate. , . , ' '
No name has thus far been given to
this city of rapid development; no
name, at least, that has as yet been uni
versally adopted. The " City of Palms "
was one of the names suggested in the
earlier days of the exposition, when
there was a possibility of palms predom
inating in the decoration of the exposi
tion grounds. But the' progress of the
landscape work developed the fact hat
there was such a variety of tree life, and
such varied foliage in the foreground
and in the further reaches of the pipture
that no one tree could be selected as typ
ical, and the result has been that those
who care enough about it have been cast
ing about for another name. One name
that has found particular favor has been
"Sunset Cityr" The location of San
Francisco at the sunset end of this great
continent, and the location of the Mid
winter Exposition in the western part of
the beautiful Dark that stretches beyond
the city away but to the Golden Gate,
and where the sun sinks below the hori
zon that seems to be an endless distance
off, has had a great deal to do with the
suggestion of this name, and to many it
has seemed the most appropriate of all.
But the name by which this city of
architectural palaces shall be known
will be chosen by acclamation during
the next fortnight. - More than 60,000
people have thus far ' paid admission to
the grounds, watching the progress of
the work of preparation. Now, how
eve, the greater crowds will begin to
come in, and each . individual first im
pression will play its part in the forma
tion of public 6piniv.n as to how this ex
position shall be handed down to history
with some name that identifies it be
yond peradventure of confusion with
any other effort of a similar nature. It
Is conceded on every hand that the Mid-,
winter Exposition is well worthy of any
name that popular expression may give
It, but that, by any name, it would be
just as sweet and beautiful in the eyes
of all beholders.
To those who are not to have the pleas
ure of viewing" this exposition, or t
those who want to know what it looks
like before they come to San Francisco
there has been presented, through the
medium of the official birdseye view,
the most accurate panorama ever placed
before the public in connection with an
enterprise of this kind. This official
birdseye view will have been posted at
very railway station in the United
States and in many other places before
this letter is in print. It is a production
in lithography, from a painting by Char
les Graham, the celebrated artist who
made the famous picture of the World's
Columbian Exposition, but made it from
the plans and ideas Of the projectors.
In this instance, however, Mr. Graham
made his sketches on the spot, after
nearly all the buildings were in process
of erection, and when every location had
been positively settled. There is, there
fore, spread out an accurate picture of
the Midwinter Fair. Its five main
buildings are grouped around a Grand
Central court, 1000 feet in length, in the
midst of 200 acres of the Golden Gate
park. From the center of the Grand
Court rises the electric tower, 272 feet
in height, and within range of vision of
one located on the top of this tower, lie
76 different concessional structures, sev
eral of which really include half a dozen
buildings each, so that there are at least
100 buildings, all told, in this "Sunset
City."
- There are a dozen other points of van
tage on the tops of different buildings,
from which the Golden Gate is in view,
and all these lofty eyries have been
crowded during the last week with the
daily visitors to the grounds, to whom a
birdseye view seems most, desirable.
With tomorrow's street pageant and the
consequent starting Of the machinery all
along the line of the exposition and its
concessions, the exposition really gets
down to business. ' From now on its
special features will demand more at
tention in detail and these letters will'
contain all that can be told about the
exposition. To be appreciated, tk ex
position must be seen.
FOREIGN CABLEGRAMS.
India reports a good wheat crop. .
England's pension list last year was
$38,000,000. ;
' The South African gold mines' output
is increasing greatly.
The wheat area in India for 1894 shows
an increase of 6 per cent.
Siamese are evacuating the terrritory
surrendered to the French. ;
The entire Argentine maize crop has
been ruined by the drought.
France proposes to convert her 4 per
cent bonds into Z per cent.
A friend of Bismarck has been fined
for libeling Chancellor von Caprivi.
There were thirty-one cases of death
from starvation in London during 1893.
It is said that fencing is to be the fash
ionable exercise for ladies this season in
London.
War in Europe is more remote than
ever according to ex-Premier Di Eudini
of Italy. .
The total value of the war material of
the French army amounts to nearly
$500,000,000. . -
It is estimated that in the whole of
Europe over 600,000 women hold public
appointments. v
The French government has among its
naval archives about 3,000 propellers of
different design.
Prince Bismarck is reported to be suf
fering from influenza and a recurrence
of his old gastric troubles.
Premier Crispi is preparing a land re
form bill for Italy and Sicily similar to
Gladstone's Irish land bill.
The Hessian fly is now for the first
time recorded as occurring in Norway
and doing damage to barley.
The revenue returns of Germany for
1893 show that the expenditures exceed
the grants by 40,000,000 marks.
The Austrian government has decided
that the Vienna city railway shall be
built and managed by the State. s
Catholics in convention atBuda-Pesth
demanded the repeal of the new Austrian
education and civil marriage laws.
The London Times says that the year
1893 was one of the most .peaceful and
prosperous of the century in Ireland.
Dispatches from towns in Saros coun
ty, Hungary, say that thousands of peas
ants there are on the verge of starvation.
The British naval budget will be $35.-
000,000 larger than usual, in order to
meet the popular demand for more war
ships. ,
London women now smoke cigarettes
after lunch in the better class of West
End restaurants, and no objection is
made.
The announcement comes from Cal
cutta that it is not the intention of the
government to place an import tax upon
silver.
Great hunger and misery prevail in
Russia, which is said to be in worse
condition than during the active Nihilist
perioa.
Paris Figaro says the salon of Mrs.
Eustis, wife of the American Ambassa
dor, will be the most brilliant of the
season.
The Russian government is consider
ing the question of extending the area
of territory upon which Jews are allowed
to settle. i
Spurgeon's sermons have reached an
enormous sale since his death. The sin
gle sermon on "Baptismal Regeneration"
sold 224,000. . -
The new French tax of 10 francs each
on cycles has produced in the first year
it has been in operation 781,657 francs,
or about 31,250. r
The French are negotiating for a re
newal of the Panama canal charter, but
opposition to the grant is being devel
oped at Panama. ,
Clemenceau is to be prosecuted for his
attacks upon the French navy, the ground
being that his documents affected the
security of the State. '
The total tonnage of ships built on the
Clyde in 1893 is estimated at 208,000, as
against 336,000 in 1892. The number of
steamers launched was 132.
The Liverpool Chamber of Commerce
has appointed a committee to consider a
project to reduce port dues and to en
large the facilities of the port.
A Paris journal urges the necessity for
France acquiring more coaling stations
if she wishes to be in a position "to talk
in fitting manner" to Great Britain. 1 .
The gold medal of the Royal Astro
nomical Society of England has been
awarded to Prof. S. W. Burnham, re
cently Of Lick Observatory, California.
The Bavarian Clericals have submit
ted a motion in the Bavarian Diet re
questing the government to use all its
authority to suppress dueling in the
army. ,
By order of the Czar and as the result
of a recent departmental conference the
construction of thirty new torpedo boats
for the Baltic fleet is to be commenced
forthwith.
Sarah Bernhardt claims that she came
near being poisoned by her maid, who
put laudanum in the tea by mistake.
Sarah '8 advertising repertory is again
called upon.
FROM WASHINGTON CITY.
Chairman Wilson of the Ways and
Means Committee has broken down un
der the strain of preparing the tariff bill,
His friends do not believe he will be
able to take further part in the tariff
fight. .
The government of the Orange Free
State has given notice of its desire' to
terminate tne existing treaty oi menu
ship and. commerce with the United
States at the expiration of twelve months
from the date of the receipt of the no
tice. . ; .
The Senate Committee on Public
Lands has authorized Pettigrew to pre
pare a bill looking to the payment- of
damages to settlers driven out of Sequoia
and Yosemite National Parks by order
of the Secretary of the Interior when
those parks were established. . . .... ... , ;
. At a recent meeting the Senate Com
mittee on Public Lands appointed a sub
committee, consisting of Senators Mar
tin, Vilas and Pettigrew, to formulate a
general bill, which shall authorize the
granting of 5 per cent of the net pro
ceeds of the sale of public lands to the
several States for the support of common
schools. j ' ' E
O'Neill of Massachusetts, Chairman of
the Subcommittee on Pensions of the
House Pension Appropriations, says the
subcommittee will pursue the policy of
the full committee in keeping the appro
priations down to the lowest possible
point, and the pension appropriation
will probably be $15,000,000 less than
last year. ;
Pickler of South Dakota precipitated
a fight in the House Committee on In
dian Affairs by presenting for considera
tion a bill stipulating that none but
civilians be appointed Indian agents,
thus doing away with the recently estab
lished system of detailing army officers
for such duties. The committee is greatly
divided on the subject, and the fight
may be transferred to the floor of the
House.
General A. D. McCook has been notir
fled that a telegram has been received
by the War Department from the Mexi
can government, giving warning of an
apprehehded raid across the border into
New Mexico. McCook replies that troops
are stationed south of Silver City and
Fort Bayard, where no bandits can cross
the border without discovery. If any
attempt is made, the bandits will be
captured or worse will happen.
Senator Mitchell presented a petition
for a law to protect the salmon fisheries
of Alaska, and presented figures to show
how the important salmon industry
is being destroyed by seines and other
impediments at the mouths of streams,
preventing the fish from reaching the
spawning grounds. Remarks were made
by Mitchell, Dolph, Piatt, Hoar and
Hale, and the petition was referred to
the Committee on Fish and Fisheries.
Secretary Herbert has approved the
recommendation of the naval stability
board with reference to the gunboats
Machias and Castine. The recommenda
tion in substance is that in order to re
move the topheaviness and other defects
of the two vessels they shall be cut in
half, lengthened fourteen feet and suffi
cient weight of coal or water placed in
the tanks and bunkers provided for the
purpose to ballast them. The cost of
making this change will be $30,000 for
each vessel.
The Senate 1 Committee on Pensions
has made an adverse report on the bill
introduced by Gallinger of New Hamp
shire,' providing for an increase to the
extent of $100 a month of all pensions
granted for the loss of both eyes. The
report says that the number of men so
afflicted is greater than was at first sup
posed, and that inasmuch as those who
nave lost both arms or both legs are also
clamoring for similar recognition and the
condition of the Treasury is crippled,
this increase of pensions is inadvisable.
Pence of Colorado on behalf of the
Populists in Congress will offer an
amendment to the income tax bill when
it comes up for consideration, providing
for a graduated income tax, as follows :
$2,500 to $10,000, 1 per cent; $10,000 to
$30,000,2 per cent; $30,000 to $60,000,
3 per cent; $60,000 to $100,000,4 per
cent ; over $100,000, 6 per cent. This is
in. accordance with the plank in the
Populist platform. If the Populists can
not get the Democrats to adopt their
ideas, they will drop it and help pass
the Democratic measure.
A bill has been introduced in the Sen
ate by Morgan for an amendment to the
charter of the Nicaragua Canal Com
pany. It provides that the capital stock
of the company shall consist of 1,000,000
shares of $10U each. All of the stock
heretofore issued by the company is to
be called in and canceled, and all bonds
heretofore issued redeemed and canceled
and all obligations satisfied. The com
pany is authorized to issue new bonds to
the amount of $70,000,000 to run sixty
years; but redeemable at the pleasure of
the United States after ten years, the
bonds to draw interest at the rate of 3
per cent and be issued from the United
States Treasury. A provision in the bill
restricts the issue of bonds to $30,000,000
before July 1, 1897, and authorizes the
President of the United States prior to
that time to suspend the issue of bonds,
which suspension shall remain in force
until Congress may otherwise direct.
The payment of bonds, principal and
interest, will be guaranteed by the
United States. If default is made in the
payment of interest before the canal is
put in operation, the President of the
United States can forclose upon written
order. Of the capital stock $70,000,000
is to be issued to the United States in
consideration of its guarantee of the
the bonds of the company; $6,-
000,000 to the government of Nicaragua ;
$1,500,000 to the government of (Josta
Rica, and the remaining $22,500,000 to
be disposed of by the company. Of this
amount $6,500,000 will be issued in pay
ment of expenditures already made on
the canal. The. company is authoiized
to offer the remaining $16,000,000 stock
for sale and to use the proceeds exclu
sively for the construction of the canal.
The company is prohibited from selling
any stock except for cash or at less than i
par. ,
EASTERN PARAGRAPHS.
Baltimore claims to have 20,000 men
out of work. . ,
Cattle are famishing in drought
stricken Texas. , ,
Many farmers in Indiana are feeding
wheat to their hogs.
Atchison's earnings for the first week
in January decreased $151,000. -
Only married men are given work by
the city authorities at Duluth.
Oyster growers on the Connecticut
coast are complaining of poaching.
Eastern capitalists plan to invest $12,
000,000 in Sioux City (la.) enterprises.
Special government agents are making
arrests in Oklahoma of timber thieves.
Chicago is considering a project of ele
vated moving sidewalks in the business
district. -,
There are a large number of newcom
ers who desire to rent farms in Greene
county, Mo. '-"
The Indiana Associated Press has been
organized at Indianapolis to make a feat
ure of State news. ;
Whites and blacks are having trouble
near Kansas City, Kan., over the ques
tion of mixed schools. , ' :
An old Spanish grant, covering Pensa-
cola's water front, is declared illegal by
Florida's Supreme uourt. :
The Eastern ice crop this year is not
quite so good as last. (Jutting has al
ready begun in New Hampshire. , ,t
Owing to hard times some of the big
circuses will not " take the road " next
summer, Forepaugh's among them.
The revenue of the Toronto Street
Railroad Company during 1893 was $902,
927. The city got $72,234 in percentage,
It is said that letters still reach the
Marshfield (Mass.) postoffice from time
to time addressed to Hon. Daniel Web'
ster." , '.
Cedar Creek county, Col., has ' made
its richest strike of gold ore in the Inde
pendent mine, ' a ton ' assaying 7,583
ounces. , '
The advance of Boston's death rate from
3.92 in 1892 to 24.02 to the 1,000 in 1893
was almost wholly due to the prevalence
of pneumonia. . , ,
A Buffalo burglar inveigled a man
from home by sending him a couple of
theater tickets, and then went through
his house at leisure. :
Chicago proposes to apply the work
test to all idle men seeking public relief
and to drive out all who refuse to earn
their food and lodging. ' ": , :. '
The suit of, the Louisiana Attorney
General against the Daily Drawing Club
has had the effect of closing all the pol
icy shops in New Orleans.
The Standard Oil plant at La Porte,
Ind., has been advertised to be sold for
taxes, it is a wrangle between the
company and the authorities.
The trials in progress within the past
four years to ascertain whether or not
Texas could be made a tobacco-growing
State have resulted successfully. ;
Reports from fourteen American locomotive-building
works give the number
of locomotives built in 1893 as 1,958, a
decrease from the previous year.
The latest thing in women's societies
is a darning club, organized in a Western
town. One woman reads aloud, while
the others repair the family hosiery.
St. Louis people are contributing to a
lake employment fund. The idea is to
give work to the unemployed and at the
same time add a lake to Forest Park.
A reward of $1,000 has been offered for
the capture of Clyde Mattox, who es
caped from jail at Wichita just after be
ing convicted of murder in the first de
gree. .. .- . .. . r ,
Some men who were digging a well at
Live Oak, Fla., found about ten feet be
low the surface of the ground a tree pet
rified on the outside. The inside was
filled with honey. :,
The Colorado House is considering a
most important measure, which makes
it an offense for any one, even farmers
or railway men, to work longer than
eight hours in one day.
The President has vetoed the New
York and New Jersey bridge bill, giving
as a reason that it provides for' piers in
the river, which are likely in the future
to interfere with commerce.
There is a strong movement on foot in
New York among a number of promi
nent physicians to establish a gymnasium
on such a large scale that it can be used
by 5,000 people at the same time.
At Dubuque, la., " Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
" was played during the service in the
Grand View Avenue Methodist Church,
and came near causing a disruption. A
Lpastor denounced it as blasphemy. . :
Secretary Herbert has issued an order
that no person in the United States navy
shall write for a newspaper or magazine
on any subject whatever without first
having secured permission from the Sec
retary. A Board of Trade firm in Chicago sent
a cable message to Liverpool from the
floor of the board asking for a bid on
wheat. The answer was received at the
same place in four minutes. This is the
quickest time on record.
' Secretary of Agriculture Morton has
requested the return of all franked en
velopes containing copies of his speech
on political farmers, so that he may see
who violated his instructions to send
them out only at his own expense.
A club man at Boston has made a wager
that he will work his way around the
world, starting without a stitch of cloth
ing on him. One year is to be given him
in which to make the trip, and he is to
return to Boston with $5,000 in his pock
et, all of which he must have earned.
Dr. Falb, the astrologer, predicts that
New York will be inundated and in parts
submerged by the waters of the bay and
the East and- North rivers, which waters
will be raised up by a great tidal wave,
the result of a submarine earthquake.
This event, Dr. Falb says, may be ex
pected on or about July 3 or August 17.
Facta Venn. Fancy.
"I would not live alway."
The voice of the man with one eye and
j white whiskers in the front pew was plainly
audible in the refrain.
"I would not live alway."
Bis bosom heaved.
"I would not live alway."
His face was sweetly transfigured with
earnestness.
In a home of the middle olass a man held
discourse with a woman.
"It's a blamed wonder," he was Baying,
"that you've got to mislay my chest pro
tector. And here's my winter underclothes
without a button on them." . r
He waa a man with one eye and white
whiskers. Brooklyn Life.
No Time to Be Loit.
- Mr. O'Toole Oi want an Insurance poll
ay on me woife, and be a little quick about
it too. The doctor says she might doy at
anytoime. Truth.
Sot HI. Fault.
"This Is the third time you have soiled
your waistcoat and torn your trousers, Os
goodson," said his mother, putting him
across her knee, "and I shall have to pun
ish yon."
' "I protest against such treatment," re
sponded the juvenile Ucwtonlan, with at .
much dignity as he could command under
the circumstances. "The abnormal"
Whackl
s "Development of the organ of
. Whackl '
J "Destructlreness does not arise, as you
can ascertain by"
Whackl
"Consulting the authorities, from a de
liberate purpose to" i
Whackl
"Do evil, but solely from"
Whackl Whackl
' "Heredity I Ouch I Murderl Great Scottl
Stop, darn it, stop) That's enough!"
Chicago Tribune. ' .
A Clever Ru.e.
' A gentleman who had been refreshing
himself a short time previously at one of
the Boulevard cafes hurriedly re-entered
the establishment, and addressing the wait
er anxiously inquired of him:
"Did I leave behind me a small parcel,
tied with a string, on the tabled"
"No, sir," replied the waiter.
"By Jove, then, it's unlucky. I shouldn't
like the parcel to get into strange hands,
for it contained some valuable"
"Jewels, sir," suggested the waiter, smil
ing blandly.
"Jewels I No, man, scorpions. Some very
rare and deadly scorpions."
The waiter imiled no more. He, on the "
contrary, turned deathly pale, and sinking
into the nearest ohair gasped, as he pointed
to his coat pocket, "They are there."
Spare Moments. -
He Had Had It.
The Doctor Do you ever have a sinking
feeling? '
The Patient No.
The Doctor Have you ever had itf
The Patient N-no yes, once.
The Doctor Ah, you've had it onca)
We'll get at your trouble immediately.
Now, then, please tell me when it was that
you had that sinking feeling f
The Patient When I fell overboard from .
a boat. New York Press, .
"One on the Dog."
Life.
i I1- j
"I'll Wmmm
' Explained.
"Well," said the new reporter confident
ly, "there is one thing I can say that most .( :
reporters cannot." '
"What Is thatf"
- "Our city editor never "blue pencils" my
copy."
"Indeed?"
"No. He uses a red pencil." Washing
ton Star.
Good Advice. '
A man was once brought before the mag- .
istrates at Leeds. The magistrates told the
lawyer to take the man into another room
to give him good advice. When the law-
yer returned, the magistrates asked when
the prisoner was. The lawyer replied:
"I advised him to get through the window,
and he's a mile away now." Tit-Bits. i
The Humor of the Museum. . -
"Slang is always vulgar," said the man
leer of the dime museum, "but It is some
times funny too."
"Yesf"
"Yes. For instance, it does sound funny
to hear the living skeleton asking the fu
lady if she will lend him a couple of bones."