oocl River Glacier. It's a Cold Day Vhcn We Get Left. HOOD U1VKR, OREGON, SATURDAY. DECIPHER 2, 181)3. vol. :. NO. 27. The Sfcod livcr Slacier. 'i i'i.imiKii itvmir hatiiiioat Mnnsirxj t , Tlio Glacier Publishing Company. m um mi' i ion imiicc im li. i ...H w I Of .... w ..IttnW l.i . , ' 'i Ih. "ft ... THE GLACIER ). irbcr Shop )( Grant Evans, Propr. I St neiii Oak, . Hood River, Or. Suiting mid llaii culling urntly dun. Nulmhu linn liuaiuntuf .1. IMVIMOTAIj news. Sina Mo ollii'iitli lint driving out 111.' Ill'llllull IX, Armor plates f ir tint Mniiadnntk nr muting ai i In Man' I-I.ind navy yard. Ihcloeat Nulllii'lli lilillum! IH Slflir- iii t'l.Min I loi u ili-iui mid yard ut ' ii- i.iiii.i, Tin' ( 1 1 1 ir i--hh mine near Present t, A. I , u In. It Ii.ih hull hill' lor two years, in I'i'ii iiiiii.r. out, itnd work w ill soon I"' lr-llllll'il. I i. Mil l.utttcll, son of the late linn I 1 1 1 1 K . I.uiiri'll, I'niii'il state special II,'. 'lit lor Alaska, lilt been appointed to HI. in, I ;i IllllllT. At I'li. iilrllo, Iilitho, mi edict Inm gone f.'illi :n." Iicuccforl h no iiiiiri ii'il Woman HI II h In .1 1 I It'll III, III shall he employed in tin1 .iililii' schools hi ik teacher. 'I In- resignation of Horace W. Hying- I'Hi, I (illcrlnr of Internal Krvi'llili' for Hi. a i a 1 1 1 1 1 1 disiiict ol California, li.t-. In i n accepted by Secretary 'hi linli. H-rai I'. Mill of Oglcli, I'tllh, I him Im u s nii'iii r.l in ten years' imprison (i.i lil lor embezzling 5.riO,tHKI of tlic fund ul ihi' Coinu.cicial National Hank of (,"lrll. Tin' ,h'mii1' urn getting rrn.lv to nniBip ilou ii iihiii the Oregon Hoard of 1 :.;!!. i!tutloli. Itceinbcr 20 IH till' dale Nnling of I ouliti county set for llie attack. A lung mill stormy w inter is predicted hv Hie klauialh Indians of Oregon. i 1 1 . I. ,i-i' I heir prophecy oil till! Intivc iiii iilH of the wil l 1 1 I and other like i!n'iioiiif mi. IhoimiK Cruse, the llelcnii millionaire hanker, is ii vei v nick limn. 1 1 ih physi cians have advised Ins prompt removal In I'.iliioi inn. M r. ( 'ruse is the diseov I'lci ul the famous I iriimluminiin mine. Kxpi'i in ( iititn to have loiinil it short .! hi over 1 1. 000,000 in llm v .title of tile wilier p. mil icccntly purchased hv llie iiiv of Taconi.t Imiiii I'. It, Wright oi I'llilieh'lphia (or 1 ,750,000. Experts plm'e llie value of the plant lit (7-10,000. I'lie has ili'Vil-litleil nlnillt 8,000 acres ui p, mIiiic an. I limber Ian. I on tlx.' Sunlit Miirgucniit ranch near ('iipittritno, Or- an;c 1 "'I" I V , mi. I he mm li ih ow hoi hv K ( I'Neiil ami llie Nevada I'.ank oi .Sin I'l.iiieifco. I'. (iiircm'H large liee nun li a- ' lest ii eyed. A In. Angcies dispatch says theSouth itii t nit l 11 ii in I :.i 1 1 1 ' ml Complin) oll'ered n iiiniihei oi tramp work for it week or ten day ul s.t lengthening n levee to pro tect ii.i Hick, promising $175 it day. Si. me of them wmkeil it few hours; dilieiH a ilny, lint nil iiit at tho end of llie second day. The Mokelumnc Uiver Miimifnetitrinjt Ciiinpaiiy him pelitioned the Hoard of Supi rviMir for permission to Hunt Iohh (lim n the Mokeliimne river, thei'.ouipiiny to i lean out. that river ho that loinn Itmv he made pochihle. The upier I'orku ol lhe Moki liiinne river hsh throujih nil exh iiMve region of lino timber land rieb in nijjiir pine. Three indict incuts Imvo been found at PrcMoti, A. I'., iijninst K. W. Kreneli, the (le)Hised I'roliale .hldo ami County School Supei iiileiiileiit one lor embez zlement, one for forgery and one for nihiiiK' ft waiiant knotting it to be fraudulent. French ban been in jail since his arrest in September. Secretary of the Navy Herbert has or dered ihe' removal of t bit following olli U'inl of Vallejo lor oU'eiifive parlienn-'.4-i,,: A. 1.. llatbeway. eliiul eleik Bteitiu ciikrineeiin deparlmeiit, IfMOO a year; A. Iluriiap, ell i ef chemist, a yeur; C. duster, clerk, U.OllO a yenr. TIii-fo iilaceswiil be tilled an follows: A. 0. iiiiiilv, Oakhuid, chief clerk ; P. Mckin ley, Oakland., t lieinift ; 1). Murpby, Val lejo, clerk. J. I.ee Carroll, con of cx-Oovernor Carroll of Maryland, is a noted hunter, lie is at Tm'oniit on bis way to India to hunt tigers and elephants. Monday Mr. Carroll made up a party of friends, se cured itiiides and started for the Cascade Mountains on n goat-hunting expedition. Tuesday tho guides quarreled between tlienifeives, and one of them named Re vere was shot. Carroll, who was entirely unused to tho barbarous scenes enacted (y the guiik'H, determined to return to Taconia. Ai',''liti1R or proimd ppaco at. tho San KianeiHCo Midwinter Fair have been received i:i such huge numbers that it was necessary for the fair management to make application to the Park Com missioners for sixty additional acres of (Tionnd. which was granieu tneni. iiie r . . . .... iviinsition e rounds now cover a snaco of ian.ii-.res. It has also been decided to build an annex to tho manufacture' and I liberal arts building. 1 his annex will .n in tho rear of tho building, and wi'l , bo seventy-live feet in depth, and will run the entire length of the main build- Lag-!-f62 teet. IOINKSS liltKVITIKS. Artificial teeth lire made of paper. ('(Miking by electricity grows in favor The world's hop crop is over 11,(100,000 pOUIUlH. Poiirthousaud Kiiglinh clergymen want employment, The wealth of Kiigland is out minted at 10,000,000,000. There are about '10,000 slum and leather llrtiiH in this country. South Africa has lots of sheep, but only one woolen mill. American giniu nlevators are being in troduced in lenniiiiy. Oiie-tlijnl of the telegraph operators in Kughtnd are women. Half the ocean ships of the world are ow ned by ( ireat lirilitin. The cotton in ills of .In pan giveeinplov inent to r.'.IHH) operatives. The entire stock of irnld In the world is less than (K.IHXI, 000,1100. 'lhe length of all the canals of the moi Id is nearly '..'0,000 miles. In PitrH, Purlin and Vienna there are butchers who sell holHellesh, There is a tunnel K00 feet long on one of the .Mexican inilroads. Three thousand locomotives arc owned by the Pennsylvania railroad. The lirsl cotton mill in this country is said to have been at Peverlv, Mass. There are r00,000,000 of I'.ngli-h ca itnl invested in American railroads. Postoii ms , nil) 17.020 new buildings in the past decade lit a cost of 1 HI.OO.I, 4V.t. ( n an averag" a locomotive engineer travel- ','0,000 miles in the course of a year. The mint of Philadelphia hns a collec tion of over H,00() coins of dillerent na tions. The cost of an ironclad is nliout f-100 a ton. This includes guns and all equip ments. 'lhe net private indebtednes of the American people amounts to 10,700,- 000,0. H). The llrsl rocking chair was mnde on the llrewster fit'ii:. Kingston, Mass., by a fai in baud in 17NI). Fitiures show that the total rsilwsv mileiiL'e of the country on June 30, IHOIl, was 171 M'.l.h'l miles. The biggest quill toothpick mill is in Paris. Norway leads in the manufact ure of wooden tisitbpicks. Nickel of the best ijualitv is now sell imr at f0 cents and line silver at nliout $11 per avoirdupois pound. The prospect now is that more than 1,000,000 tons of sugar will be made in Cuba during the season of 8!M. lindoners drink H.KOO.OOO gallons of milk yearly, or little more iIihii two gal lons for each man, woman and child. The making of lucifer matches is a State monopoly in France, Spain, Portu gal, Italy, ( ireece, Koitmiiuia and Servia. In the matter of well-kept country roads it is staled that New .Jersey leads, and that Southern New Fngland follows. Last year New York citv paid for its school bill H.000.000, for its amusement bill $7,000,000 and for its drink bill J00, 000,000. A check for X5,:i:;.'t.(r0 on the P.unk of Fngland in payment for the Kimberly diamond mines is said to be thu largest ever drawn. In everv mile of railroad there are seven feet and four inches not covered by the rails the space left between them for expansion. On the Mex'cnn pension roll there are names of 15,215 survivors and 7. '2X'2 wid ows, and something over 11,000 cases were pending at latest reports. Pennsylvania furnished 00,000.000 of the 170,000,000 tons of coal mined in this country this vear. Illinois was sec ond, with 18,000,000 tons. In I!rn7.il it is not rustouinrv for ser vants to reside in llieiremployer's house. They come to work early in the morning and return home in tho evening. Mrs. Levi P.Morton has leased the house formerly occupied by Senator .tones of Nevada in order to supervise the complete education of her daughters. F.verett Chauncey Rumpus of Quincr, Mass., a member of the present freshman class of Harvard, is completely blind, hut. intends to take the full course for the degree of bachelor of arts. Now that Marshal McMahon is dead, France has only one living citizen who has been Pre-ident, and that is Carnot, the present occupant of that high oflice. Thiers died in 1877 and CJrovy two years ago. Russian women and Japanese men are pronounced by those competent to judue the best of the world's workers with the needle, as shown in tho embroidery ex hibits in Chicago. PURELY PERSONAL. The Prince of Wales is very fond of wearing old clothes, probably because ho doesn't have to. Gardening was Gounod's pet hobby, and almost to the last day of his life be was able to busy himself among his roses and geraniums. But mentally the composer was a wreck long before death came. Bisliop do Goesbriand of St. Albnns, Vt., at the ace of 77 is the oldest Bishop in the United States. Ho has been a priest fifty-seven years, and lately cele brated the fortieth anniversary of his elevation to the Bishopric. Governor Feter Tnrney of Tennessee. although 70 years old, is still fond of hunting fox ond deer, and lias a pack of hound? at his home (called "Wolfe's Craig ") in the southeastern part of the State. He follows the hounds on horseback. EASTERN MELANGE. Hi- CliinihH of (.old Quart. Foil ml in Colorado. TKRRII1LK DROUTH IN (JKORfilA. Colorado Minor Decllun to Acrept Work at a (ireat I y Red tired Rate The A nurcli 1st s. The associated bunks of New York have ij'.HI.lHIO.OOO in gold. A short cotton crop and dry weather are reported from Texas. The Republicans of St. Ijuis carried the Scliisil Hoard election. Baltimore trolley cars must be vided with a life-saving fender. pro- Over .'!00 lynchings have, taken place in the South during the present year. Big chunks, of quartz full of gold have I.e. 'ii struck on a claim at Cripple ('reek, Col. Terrible drought bus dried up wells and springs in Georgia's mountain dis tricts. Philadelphia has got the liberty bell back from Chicago, and business has been resinned, A movement has been started to es tablish a steamship line between Gal veston and Tainpico. Failure to answer a New York jury not icii or exnlnin his delinoupneies imav cost Carl Scliurz $100. The Chicago Presbvlery has deixised and suspended Rev. Totberoh from the ministry of lhe church. The Iiuisiana taxpayers are requested to pay their taxes at once and save the pii lil ic schisils from closing. There is a general movement through out the country toward hiuher injurandi rates on larm-propwrty risks. The first Application of a woman to be a notary politic in .New Hampshire lias liecii refused by the Governor. Many Indiana pensioners learn thev have lieen dropped from the list on pre senting their vouchers at Indianapolis. It is said that the attorneys for Pren lergust, the assassin of Mayor Harrison, will try for a change of venuo from Chi cago. Four hundred persons have Ikpii ar rested in West Virginia within ten days for nioonshing and illicit retailing of w hiskv. A H.tltiinore and Ohio train recently niadu the run from Akron to Chicago, a listanee of V2 miles, in eight hours and twenty minutes. 'the Georgia House of Helegates has voted down a proposition to increase the pav of the .Judges of tho Superior Court from 2,000 to $2,500. From January to Octolvr of this vear 78,4;t4 aliens arrived as cabin passengers in this country, making an incroaso of ;!2,741 over last year's arrivals. A Oenver dispatch savs that " the union miners are standing out lor their old wages and refuse to accept an oiler of $2 25 for eight hours' work." The United States Histrict Court fined the St. Iiuis and Mississippi Uiver Packet Company $1,000 for carrying gas oline on a passenger steamboat. The great viaduct of the Wilkesbarre and Eastern railroad over Panther creek has been completed. It is more than l,(i00 feet long and KilJ feet high. Thev lynched a white man down in Virginia tho other day for assaulting a negro girl. The color line is fast giving wav belore one with a nooso in the end of it. Over 50,000 Russian Jews have landed at the port of New oik in the ten months of this year according to the of licial report of the Commissioner of Im migration. Bridgeport's (Conn.) coffee house, es tablished as a result of temperance agi tation, earned 25 per cent dividend its first year. In that time 180,000 meals have been furnished. The Javanese people, who formed such a center of interest in the World's Fair, have departed for their native land and each man takes with him a trunk, a sewing machine and a gun. Colorado declared for female suffrage by a majority of about 4.000. The min ers are sain id nave voted lor it to en courage immigration of strong-minded women from Aew hnglaiut. A railroad is to be built to the summit of Whiieface Mountain in the Adiron- lacks, the height of which is 5,000 feet. The road w ill be thirteen miles long, and will begin work noxt spring. At the children's building in the World's Fair, where babies were cared for and checks given to their parents to insure safe redelivery, only one baby out of 10,000 remained uncalled for. But very little money ia being loaned in Kansas, and farmers are finding it hard to secure renewals of their loans, which are becoming due. The cause as signed by the loan companies is the fear of hostile Populist legislation. Louis 1'. Menage, whose extradition has been asked from Guatemala, was President of the Northwestern Guaran tee Loan Company of Minneapolis, Minn., which failed last Mav. Menage made away with at least $3,000,000 be longing to the concern and its clients. The bodies of Alexander McClelland and his son Oscar, who disappeared from Centralia, III., in 1881. have been dis covered in a pond, where they were buried and staked down. A brother of the deceased senior McClelland is sus pected of committing the crimes. The discovery has created great excitement at Centralia. FttOM WASHINGTON CITY. The Commissioner of the general land (illicit has ordered Inspector Cannichael to investigate the nppraisememit of lots in the townsiteof Port Angeles, Wash. Many occupants have protested that the appraisement is unequal. Seervtsry Herbert is quoted as author ity for the statement that there will be mi immediate change in tho command of tin! naval forces at Rio, which devolved upon Cantain Picking of the Charleston when Admiral Stanton was recalled. Representative Hermann having made sal isiaelory showing to the department mai ine seiners in the vicinity of Ivi son in Lane county, Or., were too much inconvenienced to wait until July next for new mail contract to deliver their mails, an order has Isien issued that pro posals be invited at once for mail service, to commence January 1 next. Commissioner Lamoreaux of the gen eral land ollice has decided in favor of the Great Falls Water Power and Town site Company tho case which involved Mm whole town of Great halls, Mont. '1 he deci-ioii is that the townsitu com pany is an innocent purchaser and under the act of March A, 181)1, could not be disturbed in its jioisession of tho prop erty. Lieutenant-Colonel Charles R. Green leaf, llipnty Surgeon of the United Stales army, lias been relieved from duty in the War Department and ordered to assume charge of the medical supply de partment in San Francisco, relieving Lieutenant-Colonel Joseph P. Wright, Heputv Surgeon-General, who will as sume charge of the medical supply de partment in St. Ixiuis. The annual reportof Tillman, Register of the Treasury, shows that in Octo!or, 18112, the value of registered bonds which were supposed to lie held by persons of foreign nationality amounted to about $18,800,000. of which only $4,8.30,300 ap jH'Bied upon the foreign ledgers. ' It is evident," says the report, " that a large projiortioii of the registered bonds owned abroad are controlled by agents residit -n this country." There is mu :h complaint among ex hibitors over the dehy in awarding World's Fair medals. As many of the exhibitors expect to make the most of their medals in an advertising way, thev complain that tho great delay will rob them of much ol the commercial advan tage which they expected to reap in re turn for the heavy expenso involved in making t'ie World's Fair exhibit. The design by St. Gaudcns for official medals is here, hut the contracts for manufact uring the medals has not yet Iwen award ed, and it is still even uncertain whether the work may not be done by the United States mint. The plan of the Treasury officials contemplates medals of elegant w orkmanship that would require four or live months, as it would necessitate stamping some of them 400 or 500 times, and it does not seem probable the work will lie completed before next summer. The blame is laid to the Committee of Awards or to Designer St. Gaudens for not furnishing the designs earlier. Secretary Carlisle has received from tho Commissioner of Immigration at San Francisco a reK)rt, accompanied by sworn testimony, nliout the landing in San Francisco of twelve Russian con victs, who escaped from confinement and were picked up by passing vessels and brought to this country. The men are now under arrest in San Francisco, and the question that complicates the situa tion is w hat to do with them. While the greatest secrecy is maintained at the de partment atiout the contents of the offi cial report, it is believed five Russians were political prisoners, in which case it is said our immigration laws do not in terfere to debar them from landing. At the same time the Rupsian Minister, Prince Cantacnr.ene, has interested him self in having them turned over to the Russian authorities. The matter has assumed such an important phase that Secretary Carlisle has taken it into his own bands and will confer with Secre tary Grcsham on the fate of the Rus sians. Sumner I. Kimball, general superin tendent of the life-saving service, in his annual report to Secretary Carlisle states that at the close of the last fiscal year the establishment embraced 244 stations. The number of disasters to documented vessels w ithin the tield of the operations of the service during the year was 427. There w ere on board these vessels 3,56o persons, of whom twenty-three were lost. The estimated value of the vessels in cluded in tho disasters was $6,414,075, and that of their cargoes $ 1,684.000. Of this amount $6, 442. 605 was saved and $1,055,570 lost. The number of vessels totally lost was eight. The cost of the maintenance of the service during the year was $1,231,893.45. The general su perintendent states that the fears ex pressed in former reports of a threatened decadence of the service, excited by the frequent resignations of many of the best snrfmen on account of the" meager ness of their pay, have been dispelled by the recent increase granted by Con gress. Hiram Hitchcock, President of the Maritime Canal Company of Nicaragua, has submitted to the Secretary of the Interior the annual report of the com pany, which wss not due until Decem ber 1, but sent it at the request of the Secretary, who desired to use some of the data in his annual report. President Hitchcock says that since the appoint ment of a receiver for the Canal Con struction Company little work has been done. The Secretary was referred to the last report as to the present condition of work. Since organization $1,055,811 has been paid into the treasury, all for stock subscribed for at par except 48,871, which came from other sources. There was paid out forconstruction and admin istrat ion expenses 830,788 in cash and 31.000 shares of stock, par value, which are worth $3,190,000. The company is obligated for $ 6.355,000 of its first-mortgage bonds. It has issued 180.000 shares of stock, par value $18,000,000, in pay ment of concessionary rights, privileges, franchises and other property. FOREIGN FLASHES. A Great Mexican Revolutionary Leader Put in Prison. TWO AMERICANS IN TROUBLE. Leaders of the Brazilian Insurrec tion Have Decided to Hoist the Imperial Flair. Evictions are agitating Ireland again. There is a "craze" in France for am ateur theatricals, Russian statesmen plan a State mo nopoly of tobacco. The Manchester (England) ship canal is practically complete. The mind of M. Herz, the Panama ca nal intriguer, is failing. The leading scientists in Germany are puzzled over a blue man. English miners refuse to agree to pro posals to settle the strike. An English syndicate wants to start a big bank at Havana, Cuba. A new Ministry has been formed in Greece with Tricoupis as Premier. President Carnot of France has liegun a cruHade against the sulphur match. Levi P. Morton has placed his two daughters in a convent at Tours, France. The Bank of Spain has subscrilied 5o.0O0 to carry on the fight against the Rifhans. French scientists have devised an arti ficial larynx, which is claimed to enable the dumb to speak. Germany means to raise increased rev enue from tobacco and bourse transac tions. It is becoming more costly to main tain the peace of Europe than to carry n a dcBiruciive war. A British syndicate is reported to lie ready to advance money to gain control of the Nicaragua canal. The famous Chinese giant, Chang, died at Bournemouth, England, November 5. He stood eight feet high. Milan police recently nabbed sixtv three Anarchists at one meeting and great quantities of documents. Miss Rye, the English philanthropist, has introduced 4,000 English pauper children into Canadian homes. The citizens of Sebastopol have placed wreaths upon the tombs of the trench soldiers who fell in the Crimean war. The Brazilian government has pur chased nine torpedo boats in Europe four in England and five in Germany. The royal opera house of Munich has offered a prize of 8,000 marks or a new German opera by a German or an Aus trian. There is talk that European powers will view with displeasure the eftort of Spain to extend her territory in North ern Africa. Empress Eugenie has declared her in tention to spend the whole winter at her villa of the Cap, near Mentone, on the Mediterranean shore. Lord Colin Campbell has turned up in Bombay as a counselor employed to de fend twenty-nine Mohammedans impli cated in the great riots. Honduras lias apologized for firing on the American mail steamer Costa Rica. The apology is entirely satisfactory to the United States government. Having partly abolished gambling among army officers, Kaiser William now plans legislation against betticg on horses and public card-playing. The navigation of the Dead Sea is the latest step in Oriental progress. The Sultan has sent two sailing boats there, one for freight and one for passengers. Paris advices assert with great posi tiveness that an assured result of the visit of the Russian fleet will be the re election of President Carnot next year. Prof. Tyndall has recently returned to his English home from seveial months' sojourn in Switzerland, by which his health is said to have been greatly bene fited. Letters from Acra on the West African gold coast say that the King of Asbantee was stoned to death recently by insur gents in the streets of Coomassie, his capital. Tho New York Times' London special says: The European backers of Brazil ian insurgents are pouring out gold by the millions in the hope that Admiral de Mello may overthrow the Republic. The London Times learns through a private channel that the leaders of the Brazilian insurrection held a conference, at which it was decided to hoist the im perial flag and direct their efforts toward a restoration of the monarchy. The smock frock, which from tiue im memorial down to twenty years aso was universal in the costume of the British workingman, has almost entirely disap peared, and in France a similar fate has overtaken the traditional blue blouse. The London County Council has bought forty-one acres of Hilly Fields, Brock ley, as a park for Southeast London. The Council wishes to buy four acres more, but must raise $14,000 more before it can do so. The whole cost of the land will be $215,000. The Pope will hold a consistory in February, when several Cardinals will be created. The question of conferring the purple on Archbishop Ireland has been raised, but the Pope seems to have abandoned that idea, being afraid of of fending the Jesuits, who are still very powerful, and who, it is known, have op posed Archbishop Ireland. Consequently no American Cardinal will be designated at the next eongiitory. GEORGIE. fill Dfinerlptlnn of n Intorruptnrl Wed ding Ccrrmunjr. deereilitur Ml jonsoim btf brother gf.t marled on toosd.-t nitit over at his gurl bouse an pa & ma went 2 the wedin an tide me. Ml an mo wos 3 get hi-r al nitoan hud a grate time, al the pirple went up stairs a w. the presunts wat won standin on the tables, thay was fine. 1 ov the pnunfs was a toilet set. a toilet set Is a wash bnin an a bowl an things like that, all ov the toilet set wos not on tho table, bil node ware It wos hided an lie got the other part cut an put it on the table 2. Mis brothers url wasorful mad. just b 4 tho wedin com? ncid bil sed 2 me, georgie, say nothin, but things isal fixed an we r pono 2 liaiv fun. tiny marched down stairs with the rnin Istur a head an Mis brother an bis purl blind, she bad tvito moskito net on her bid an he had on a vest with al the front cut out so that ii cooil see bis shirt, he luked gud an so did she. a nothcr man wot dident hniv no front In bis vest set down 2 pla the pianer wen thay corned along an be banged an bunded on tho keys, but tho pianer woodent maik no MlUIld. evri 1 Iuked supriwd an the ministnrnn the gurl wot was gone 2 b married an bils brother stud out in tho ball waitin 4 the march 2 commence, but It dident com menceso thay come ahead without anl mooaic. bil sed 2 me, low like, gorgie, i put a bed slat acrost the strings 1q the pianncr so it coodent pla. bil had a lonz peace ov wire stickin out on the side ov tie doorway so wen the bride corned alonij it caught in 2 her vale an pultxl it off. she wos jsst orfel mad, but she dident no wat niaht her vnle come oft. then they stud up in the front part or the room an commencid 2 git married. the minister sed, du u taik this lawfulll weddin woman 2 b yure wife. 2 luve her an a boy, in helth an death. bils brother kinder chocked an his neck got red an his shirt bosom creaked an he clenched his fist on ho opened his mouth an dident say nothin, so he shutitagane an opened it an sed yes. i wos rele sorri 4 him, coss tho way he went i thote he wos gone 2 haiv a spasm. then tbe ministur sed, du u taik this man 2 live in helth an honor in deth 2 b yure lawfulli wedf.in husMnd, an du u sware In tbe presence of tLc court that the afydavit Is true 2 yure nowkdge, an wil u b true 2 him in all your vous. the gurl looked strait at the ministur, au her faic kep gettin witer al the time an she wos picking leaves off her dress. Wen the ministur got duntalkin she Iuked down at the floor an sed yes so low that no 1 cood here it. then bil went out in the hall an listened 2 the marriage thro the keyhole. then the minister sed, if thay Is anibodl here wat noso of ani reason wy this mar riage should not go let him spit it out or 4 evir bold his tong. tbe mic.tur stopped an 4 abotcahalf minit no 1 sed ani thing, but thay al Iuked a round the room at each other an bils brother Iuked orful uncomfortable. then bil shoved open tbe door an yelled in with a voico liko a old man. i demand that this marrige stop. u never seed such a time in al yure life like thay wos thair. al the women screamed an the gurl wat was gone 2 b marrid fainted, she nocked over a high pianner lamp an it set fire 2 sum papir roses. then evri 1 yellid fire an bi an bl the en gines cum. tho minister run out in 2 the street with som ov tho roses wat was on fire an they plade tho hose on him. bils brother wanted 2 kill thu man who had sed the weddin must stop, bil jounson was afraid to go home aftir. p. s. the weddin is put off. gorgie. New York Mercury. A Bad Break. Parson Whangdoodle Baxter of the Thompson Street Blue Light tabernacle made a pastoral call at the flat of Sam Jobusing, the object of the visit being to remonstrate with Jobnsing for eating pea nuts during divine worship. Sam heard his pastor's voice and hid behind a curtain, while Mrs. .lohnsing received the pastor and assured him that Sara had gone up tbe Hudson on an excursion. Unfortunately tbe curtain did not quite reach the floor, and some large, generous feet protruded. "So, you says dat Sam has done gone off on a skurshon?" queried the dusky cleric. "Yes, parson, and he specs ter be gone all day," replied Mrs. Johnsing. "Well, be so kind and tell Sam when he gits back dat de nex' time he goes on a skurshun he had better take his feet erlong wid him," at the same time prodding Sam's feet with his cane until he roared. Texas Sittings. A Cripple. Tramp I'd like to do something to pay fer all this, but I'm a cripple, mum. Housekeeper You don't look it. What's the matter. Tramp Writer's cramp, mum. I've been keepin a list of all th' people wot offered me work, mum. New York Weekly. A Rambunctious Pet. Miss Citygirl (before the accident) Look, Mamie. That must be a pet lamb. See how it Is frisking to meet us. It doesn't seem at all afraid. Harper's Bazar. Which Is a Reflection. Jones (to intoxicated friend) Good heav ens, man, here's your wife! Let's turn back. His Friend No (hie). She'll never she us. She's looking at her reflection in the window to she ii her hat's (bio) on straight.