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About The Columbia register. (Houlton, Columbia County, Or.) 1904-1906 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 7, 1904)
Topics of the Times I The pessimist always bites the spot ' n the apple first ! What has become of all the people who used to yearu to discover the north pole? The value of a man's principles de pend on what It costs biin to cash them In practice. It's a good deal easier to sit up straight In church than It U to walk upright In the world. A man's clothes are less apt to make hlui thau his wife's dressmaker's bills are to break Mux The palm for neat and complete modern naval victories will remain In the possession of the American ad tnlrals. Abdul Ilamid declares that he re gards the United States In the light of the "most favored nation," but it Is suspected that he does not really think so. The stork which brought the Czare vitch also brought along a nicely up holstered seat to be placed In the rear for the occupancy of Grand Duke Michael. The Czarevitch 1b reported to be taking his nourishment naturally and sleeping regularly. He has not got far enough along to fear poison and dynamite. A colored man who dropped a water melon In order to rescue a child from being run over by a street car has been mentioned as deserving a slice of the Carnegie hero fund. It Is understood that the New York sports are now arranging to have some good bishop dedicate a model gambling den, where the poor man can listen to the doxology while blowing In bis week's wages. Wllhelm's epigram, reported by Miss Anthony, that woman should con 'cern herself only with the three K's kinder, kueche nnd klrche Is a re markable concession on the part of his imperial self. It has been sup posed that there was only one K In Germany. The season's drowning accidents re vive the old question whether persons who know how to swim are really safer than those who are without that accomplishment The answer is sim ple. With an equal amount of pru dence the swimmer is far more secure, and learning to swim should not re sult in unlearning any of the older precepts of caution. The English Society for the Preven tion of Cruelty to Animals recently felicitated itself and the country on the universal advance which the cause Is making, and one of the evidences cited of this humane spirit was the fact that sympathizers in a Spanish town were so enthusiastic that they organized a bull fight in aid of the local Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. We hear much of the insanity plea, but in a large number of cases the plea Is brought forward after the prisoner has been convicted. The public sym pathy gained for it is largely attributa ble to a shrinking from capital pun ishment and the desire to keep a moot ed point open to decision on develop ments, whereas hanging shuts out alL The best interests of the community aside from any ponsequences to the criminal, in his favor or against, re quire the most scrupulous avoidance of all appearance even of injustice or pas sion or haste in the Infliction of pen alties. An English-speaking nation has grown up on the west side of the At lantic which has done and is doing more than the parent country to give the tongue a world vogue. Two-thirds of the people who speak English live In the United States. The industrial and commercial conquests which this country is gaining tell in favor of Its people's tongue. A century ago French, Spanish and German were far ahead of English in the number of per sons who used them as a vehicle of speech. But in the lapse of time Eng lish has passed all of them and is spoken by more people to-day than is any other civilized tongue. The piteous appeal of the dispatch which says that 40,000 domestic serv ants are immediately needed in New York touches a sympathetic chord in the heart of every housewife. Never xln New York's history has there been such a demand and such a failure of supply. More women than men arrive every week from Great Britain, Ger many, Norway, Sweden, Holland and Belgium, and still there are fifty ap plications for help for every servant ' that is to be had. It Is a serious sit uation more serious than appears on the surface. It is a threat against do mestic happiness, portentous of the destruction of family life, indicative of a social evolution. One by one the most cherished tra ditions of mankind, or perhaps in this case we should say of womankind, are torn asunder and tossed upon the scrap heaps where lie the forgotten cen turies. Through all the ages up to a few days ago woman has had what cbe considered a refuge when thunder crashed and lightning flashed. She has believed herself to be safe from the forked tongues of me emitted by the clouds as long as she could roll up In the Intricacies of a feather bed. To be able to crawl under a feather bed was supposed to afford Immunity from the ravages of lightning. But at Kan sas City the other day a thunderstorm which swept In from the sunflower plains proceeded to knock the feather bed theory Into something that was of much less account than a cocked hat At the home of Nathan Hoffman a bolt of lightning butted Its way through a window and, having found Miss Becky and Miss Anna, the daughters of Nathan, huddled together upon a feather bed. ripped It from under them and scattered the feathers all over the house. The young ladles were so bad ly shocked that for several hours they couldn't have told the difference be tween a feather bed and an elegy, but they have now fortunately recovered, and In future will make no effort to es cape the wrath of heaven by reposing on or hiding under feathers. What re mained of the feather bed to which they had flown for safety convluced them that as a lightning arrester the feather bed Is wholly unworthy of con fidence. While It Is unfortunate that woman may not hereafter flee with confidence to the feather bed wheu a thunderstorm arrives in town and opens up for business, It may be a good thing after all that the theory concerning the protective quality of feathers has at last been exploded. If the feather bed will not Insure people against the ravages of lightning there can be no further excuse for its ex istence, and It should be abolished. With Its passing will disappear a most fertile breeding place for '.erms, and there will be one thing less In the world to distress the blameless victim of hay fever. It Is the steady-going sort of worker er who gets the most done In the end, It is with men as It Is with watches the most reliable and serviceable are the ones that are steadily at work, There Is a Pennsylvania engineer who has retired on a pension after forty eight years of service. "I have car ried one watch for more than twenty aix years," he says, "and It always kept the right time." Needless to say he has been a sober, orderly man. For forty years he has not touched a drop of liquor. He never even smoked or chewed. His health has always been good. The fact that this man has been able to carry one watch so many years is not surprising, although Its "life" has been much longer than the average timepiece. All watchmakers say that a watch partakes of the traits of the one who carries It If the owner is steady, even-tempered and reliable and never files off the handle, his watch behaves itself in the most prop er manner. If the owner Is a genius, with an erratic, excitable, uncertain temperament the watch cuts up all sorts of pranks and Is too fast or too slow, or else will not run at all Watch repairers look with considerable sus picion on men whose watches always need regulating. The man whose watch la always right, "Just to the tick," is sure to be one who keeps regular hours, does not eat or drink to excess, con ducts everything in a methodical man ner, and consequently enjoys good health. Men who partake of wine sup pers, eat Welsh rarebits and stand off their tailors are always complaining that their watches do not keep good time. The vacant house decays soon est The watch, or the man, that Is kept running regularly lasts the long est and is of best service while it lasts. The stingy old miser who stops his clock every night so it won't be wearing out while he is asleep gains nothing for his trouble. This old en gineer's watch has kept good time for twenty-six years for the reason that the man himself has kept his habits correct all the time. Had he ever gone out Just once, on a high pld time and wound up by pawning bis watch the next morning, we never should have heard of his wonderful timepiece, for no watch was ever known to keep good time after being subjected to such humiliation. The retired engi neer Is old In years, but young In spir its. He has kept himself as he kept his watch. He enjoys the admiration and gratitude of all the ofliclals over him, for the reason that whatever the run assigned to him, he made It on time and had no worries left over. The watch that works only by fits and starts Is never to be trusted. Nor is the man who does his work only in the same way ever capable of the highest moral achievement possible to his sta tion. ANOTHER KIND OF HEARING. Mrs. Rooney Shure, Bridget, and where was Patrick goln' this marnln' wid his head all tied oop? Mrs. Casey Begorra, an' the bless ed man was goln' to ther city hall to get his hearln'. Mrs. Rooney Is that so? Shure, an' if s mesllf that niver knowed that he was deef. Too many people waste their time sitting on the political fence waiting for the band wagon to come along. V"7 ff JkithT-l-iU "I've heard a good many definitions of life," observed the anxious house wife, "Some people call It 'a bubble' and others a 'vale of tears' and 'an empty dream.' It's uot like an empty dream to me. "Up at 0 o'clock and breakfast to get. I fill up a nice, clean coffee pot with water and coffee, put a well eooured gridiron on the fire and defile It with beef steak. I grease up a bright frying P-'in with butter and potato and fill a saucepan with a sticky nics of oatmeal. Then I go Into the dining room with clean plates and arrange them on a spotless white - tablecloth. Then wo sit down to breakfast "Half an hour later I am ltack In the kitchen, and before me Is a clean dlshpan full of dirty dishes. I take a couple of clean dish towels from a drawer and go to work. The dishes are washed, the pans and saucepans scraped and scoured, tho dlshpan washed and perhaps In the course of an hour everything Is as It was bo fore, with the exception of the table cloth. That has to go Into the wash. "Then there are the beds to make. Soiled sheets must be taken off and replaced with fresh ones. The dust of the day before Is swept out of the A new seed potato, called the Pearl. Is being sold In ngland at the rate of $39,440 a ton. Guffyd Jones, the "reptile king." liv ing at Ana k mink, Ta., has received an order from Europe for 10,000 snake skins. Sir Norman Lockyer has been elect ed president of a new society for the popularizing of science called the Brit ish Science Guild. Sir George Lydenham Clarke, secre tary of the British defense commit tee, has been Governor of Victoria and filled many foreign offices. Otto Wlcke, a prominent New York politician, whose check Is worth at $123,000, at one time lived on 5 cents a day and slept in the City Hall Park. Counterfeit Victoria crosses are nu merous in English curiosity shops. A real cross is worth about $300 as a curio, though its intrinsic value is not 30 cents. The Austrian government has de cided to levy an import duty of 0 cents a pound from September 1 on all news papers and periodicals containing more than 15 per cent of printed matter in the form of advertisements. Ln consequence of inquiries made in Parliament the British government will proceed to ascertain some facts about the old and unfit horses exported from England to Germany, and "whether their flesh Is made Into condiments of various kinds, returned to this coun try and sold as articles of food." In 1903 there were 4,350,483 miles of single telephone wire in the United States and 2,315,297 telephone instru ments. In 1902, 5.070,000,000 mes sages were spoken over the wires, in cluding 120,000,000 long-distance calls. The gross revenue was $80,800,000, the expense nearly $02,000,000, and the net Income more than $22,000,000. The Danes have a new field gun which can fire 200 rounds a minute, weighs less than fifteen pounds, and has great range. Every Danish caval ry regiment has a gun detachment now. One man carries the gun ln a leather case attached to his saddle, an other carries ammunition, and a horse is loaded with a reserve supply. What Is declared to be the largest boom of cedar logs ever moved on Puget sound was towed Into Ballard recently by - the tug TUlieum, Cnpt Charles Worth. It contained thirty eight sections of from sixty to one hun dred cedar logs each, or the equivalent of 1,330,000 feet, according to the esti mate of those on the tug. Seattle Post- Intelllgencer. In ten years Maryland has jumped from fifth to third place in the wlllow ware industry of the United States, ranking now next to New York and Pennsylvania. Baltimore Is one of the three willow-ware centers which only have shown any actual growth ln the business. In Maryland the center of the willow district lies in Howard County. In the neighborhood of Elk- ridge alone the output of willow ex ceeds $5,000 per annum, while Anne Arundel County contributes $2,500. According to the committee of pub lic accounts, wholesale "grafting" pre vailed on the British side during the Boer war. For example, out of a total sum of $6,250,000 Issued to the impe rial yeomanry committee, $2,230,000 cannot be accounted for. Of 999 mules shipped to Beira, on the South Af riean coast, 158 died at sea and the remaining 841 "cannot be traced fur ther than Beira." As f6r remounts, out of 617,000 horses and 155,000 mules supposed to have been sent to Africa, 34,468 horses and 5,802 mules cannot be accounted for. It Is not yet half a century since Col. Drake discovered petroleum on the wa ters of Oil creek, near Titusvllle, Pa. The total production of crude petro rooms, the litter picked up In the li brary and disarranged books and pa pers straightened out "Hy that time It Is nearly 11 o'clock and I go Into the kitchen and create more disorder. 1 strew flour over my bread board, mix things In half a doa en dishes, take the saucepan upon which I have lately spent so much time and compound a stew In It Plates go out again to the dining room and again they are returned to tho dlshpan; same old performance. "Then I dress to go down town. Fresh shirt waist out of the box and a white- skirt. Shoes blacked and pol ished and all the rest of It. I come back and my shoe aren't flt to bo seen, and you know It's out of tho question to wear a white skirt dowu town twice. Shirt waist about the same. Dinner then and dishes. After dinner proceed to litter up the rooms until we are all tired enough to go up stairs and tumble up the nice, smooth, symmetrical beds. That's life. The principle doeau't only apply to household affairs, either, If you stop to think of It "Life Is eternally making a mess and clearing It up again." Chicago Dally News. leum from 1850 to 1902 orty-three years has been no lees than 1,165,. 280,727 barrels. Of this output Penn sylvania and New York contributed 53.9 per cent; Ohio, 24.3 per cent; West Virginia. 11.3 per cent; Indiana, 30 per cent; California, 8.6 per cent; Texas 2.1 per cent leaving .9 per cent to be supplied by Kansas. Colorado, Loulsl ana, Illinois, Missouri. Indian Terr! tory. Wyoming, Michigan and Okla bonis. The Parsee, or Zoroastrlan, com raunlty of Bombay, who number under 95.000 in all. are threatened with dis integration by Western and Christian rences. Their wealthy young men visit and reside In Iiondon. Paris and other European cities, where they fre quently take to themselves European wives. Three cases have Just occurred of Parsers tlms marrying white worn- en, one marrying a Jewess and one a French woman. There are great dis sensions among the parsees ln India as to whether the non-Parsoe wives should be received as proselytes. Lon don Globe. 80UTH AMERICAN NAVIES. Brazil Takes Btepa to Increase Number of Warahlpa. Brazil appears to have caught the naval development fever, Judging from the fact that a bill has been presented to the Brlzlllan congrms providing for the construction of twenty-eight war ships, says the Boston Tribune. Three of theso are to be battleships and three armored cruisers. Should this building program be carried into effect, Brazil will have, so far as tho number of ships Is concerned, naval preponder ance ln South America. Brazil's pres ent navy, worth reckoning, consists of seven vessels, of which four may be put down as second-class bartlfwhlps. and two of those are twenty years old. The Argentine navy Is stronger and besides eight or ten small battleships or armored cruisers, Includes a num ber of vary swift ships, having only deck protection. Tlw Argentlno Re public built up Its fleet in anticipation of trouble with Chill. The latter, too, started a large building program, but abandoned It on the amicable settle ment of her differences with Argen tina. Chill has sold two battleships on the ways to England, and Argentina found a customer ln Japan for her naval surplusage. The Chilian Is the only one of South America's navy that has manifested any marked efficiency, but the country cannot have much sys pathy with it, for no sooner can she get her fleet modernized than she puts the beat of her vessels on the bargain counter, an excellent way for damping the spirit of any service. The genius of the South American nations Is not maritime. Their navies are merely col lections of ships. They are without the Informing spirit that makes navies. In this respect they do not differ ma terially from the parent Latin stock. Latin peopled are brave at sea, but they are not adept at sea. They are brave men out of their true element. Ancient Egyptian Plants. The oldest herbarium in the world Is ln the Egyptologist museum at Cairo, and consists of an inconspicuous col lection of dried portions of plants. These portions of plants and flowers were taken from wreaths and garlands ln the coffins with mummies, where they were placed by the ancient Egyptians as death offerings, and from edible plants which were set in earthen vessels on the floor of the sepulchre as the furniture of the last resting place of their beloved ones. Many of these floral remains are so well preserved that, after being treat ed with warm water, they can be han dled like modern herbarium specimens. The colors, too, are preserved ln a re markable way. The most Important matter ln connection with these plants Is their age. Card playing should be confined to either the drawing room or the ante room. When a man gets too forward he la apt to be given a setback. I'll . 'V 'Vfl "A Christian." Sims Reeves says. In his "Fttty Years of Artistic Life." that the most perfect singer he ever beard, and also one of the best women he ever met, was Jenny I.lml ntul there are very few persons who board her who do not concur nt least ln his oplulou of her vocal merits. She had a strong sense of duty, was kind hearted and deeply religious. When she was singing at Norwich ln "Elijah," she sang In an Inspired man ner the beautiful passage, "Holy, holy, holy Is God the I-ord." The Bishop of Norwich Stanley, the father of Dean Stanley was sit ting by Mrs. Reeves, and said to her, as Jenny Und finished the phrase, "A string of pearls.aud all of the same Blze." "I wonder of what religion she Is?" said Mrs. Reeves, more Impressed by the singer's devotional feeling than een by the perfection of her stylo. "She Is a Christian," replied the Bishop. Mr. Reeves says that she never, un der any circumstances, omitted to say "grace" before eating a meal, and uced the simplest English form. The Lord'a Appointment I say It over and over, ami yet again to-day; It rests my heart as lively as it did yeatenliir; "It la the Ixird's appointment!" Whatever my work may be, I am sure, In my heart of hearts. He has offered It for ma. I must my It over and over, and agnlii to-day, For my work Is somewhat different from yesterday: "It Is the Lord's appointment!" It quiets my restltaa will, Llks voice of a tendur mother, And my hesrt and will are still. I will say It over and over, this aud every day, Whatsoever the Master orders, come what msy: "It Is the Lord's appointment!" For only Ilia love can see What Is wisest, bent aud right, What Is truly good for uie. Life's llludranrea. Every life has Its hludruuces. Each one of us Is tempted to think his own the greatest, and to him, of courso, they are. But there Is no life freo from them. There are weaknesses within, kuown and unknown. Soma times we discover we have dono un wise things when we had no Intention of doing them. Some unprecelved de fect ln us just found vent for Itself, and we were never aware of It until we met the consequences. Even tho richest and easiest life has Its hin drances. Its wealth aud Its ease are probably among the greatest of them. It Is enough for us to know thut hin drances are essential to life. Only death Is untroubled by them, and they are a sign that life Is active and is encountering Its limitations. They are among the best and most necessary dis ciplines of life. We grow by overcom ing hindrances. Our best Joy Is vic tory over them. Where Aretha Nine? now pathetic this question of tho Master's. He who gave to all who came healing for mind and body, ask ingg nothing but love ln return, seeks In vain for our expression of grati tude. How many weary hearts aro there to-dny asking the pitiful ques tion, "Where are the nine?" Mothers whose hearts aro yearning over the children for whose sake they entered Into the valley of the shadow; fathers, whose forms are bending low with the weight of burdens borne these many years for children who have outgrown the home nest and out ln tho world have forgotten to send homeward mes sages of love yes, these, and many more, feel the heartache the Master felt thnt day when he asked for tho silent nine. Nothing Hid from God. A rich landlord once cruelly op pressed a poor widow. Her son, a little boy of 8 years, saw It. He after ward became a painter, and painted a life-likeness of the dark scene. Years afterwurd he placed It where the man saw it. He turned pale, trembled in every Joint, and offered a large sum to purchase It, that he might put It out of Bight. Thus, there Is an invisible painter drawing on the canvas of the soul a life-likeness reflecting correct ly all the passions and actions of our spiritual history on earth. Eternity will reveal them to every man. We must all meet our earth-life again, whether it has been good or evil. Fnllnese of Life. Christ came into the world that we might have life and have it abundant ly. The cramped, starved, half-developed lives that so many are leading are not in accordance with God's plans. The plant that grows ln the shade, straggling and pale, Its blossoms blight ing befvre they unfold, Is the type of many a one to whom God la ready to give life In Its fullness. IH not be satisfied with mere existence. lU-ach dowu for the deep things of eiperl enoe, and up for those which are high. Fee that your life Is full, free and good, as Uod meant It to be. Tha Hafeguard Against Temptation. Tho safeguard against temptation la not seclusion, but self culture. As It Is not disinfectants which will most certainly secure one against Infection, but a sound constitution, so It Is not rules of life which will strengthen ono against temptation, but a strung soul. One must build up his moral constitu tion by the habit of mors I deeds ami high thinking, by fellowship with puro women and honorable men. The chief aids In this regimen are litera ture and friendship. tan Maclareu. In tha World. A true Christian living In the world Is like a ship sailing on the ocean. It Is not the ship being 111 the water thnt will sink It, but the water getting Into the ship. So, In like miinucr, the Chris tian Is not ruined by being In tho world, which ho must needs be while he re mains In the body, but by tho world being tu him. J. Mitchell. "JIM CHOW" LAW COMEDIES. Funny Thing that Occur Kluve Mary laud I'aased tMattite. Tho "Jtiu Crow" law that went Into effect lu Maryland this summer has been more amusing than serious. Whllo souio of the colored folks took exception to tho new law and de nounced It vigorously, there were oth ers who found they bad more room and comfort In the sections of tha coach or steamer allotted to their use exclusively. ludecd, on soma of tho big excursion steamers of the Chesa peake Hay It Is a common sight to see one or two colored men enjoying a roomy section of the deck, while be yond the "Jim Crow" boundary tha white excursionists art parked togeth er llko the proverbial sardines. "Ah blebe de white fo'kes stepped on deb own toes when dey passed dls hoah 'Jim Crow bill," chuckled a colored minister, as he rested bis feet on tho steamer's guard rail. "We've got mo room den we want, aud dey ain't got euuf." "Hat's right, pshson,'" asserted a memtwr of his fold, "but Ah bud u powahful queer dream last night Au drnmpt Ah went to Paradise en St. Poter met tue a. de gate." "vthat did de good saint say, brud dab?" "He sed. 'Wan did yo' cum fum?' Ah soil, 'Mnrylan'.' He sed, 'Praise de Jus- pah walls! Did you cum on a "Jlu Crow" cah?'" The laughter that followed Impress ed tho hearer that the new law wus a Joke. 'Otllcer," she said, looming out of the shadows, "what kind ob a cyah am dut cummin' arouu' de curve?" Tho olllcer peered at the headlight approucblug through the darkness. "Why, auntie," he responded pleas antly, "that's an 'owl' car." The old woman held up her hands. "Illess de Iaiwd! Ah thought It wan a 'crow' car. Dese here bird cara hen got me all mixed up. Is deh eny 'spar row' cyahs en 'hawk' cyahs?" An amusing Incident occurred on tho water front In the Maryland metrop olis. A rather foppish young steam boat clerk was In the habit of having his shoes shlned In one of the many Italian bootblack parlors. Ono even ing the parlors were closed, and tho clerk decided to patronize a colored bootblack for convenience. This hum ble knight of the box and brush did not relish such patronage, so he de cided on a novel plan to get even. The clerk walked up to the rickety chair and was about to sit down, when the bootblack shouted: "Hold on, boss! Dat's a 'Jim Crow choir." "'Jim Crow?' echoed the astonished dude. "Yeas, sab. Ah've only got one chair, en one-half Is reserved for white peo ple en'de other half foh cullud fo'kes. If yo' sit down please Jos' sit on one cor im h en " But tho prospective patron left with out his shine. Then the sable boot black turned to the clam seller with a grin. "Is yo' got eny 'Jim Crow' clams?" "Sho," retorted the clam man, "do shells am foh seen as you', en do Juicy heart am foh white fo'kes." New York Times. Defending HU Hens. It was commonly Bald of Silas Hogg that after he had talked on any subject for a while he "got so wound up ho didn't know what way he wus facing." "Do those three old Plymouth Rocks o' yours do much besides scratching up the neighbors' gardens?" demanded un irate citizen of Canterbury one day. Mr. Boggs looked at hhn with mild reproach. "Them three hens?" ho said, quickly. "Why, they don't scratch, not to amount to anything; they like to walk round here and there and kind o' feel the ground, but I don't believe they've ever hurt a flower seed, no, sir, or any way not excepting where there was so many planted they . actu'lly noede'd thinning out And as for laying eggs, why, there ain't hen hereabouts I'll wagor that can beat 'em on size. Why, that biggest one, Blr, she'll lay eggs as big as as big as hailstones, right along. You can believe me or not. Jest as you choose!" ' Perpetual "She's one of these gushing women; isn't she?" "Yes. A case of perpetual emotion." Detroit Free Press. Theory is a vine from which facto are gathered.
