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About The Columbia register. (Houlton, Columbia County, Or.) 1904-1906 | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1904)
Topics of the Times A Uttle boost to the living is better than ninny bouquets to the dead. It la out at lartl The price of cam paign cigars hat been determined In court at Boston. It la S centa a plec. It might be at well to remember that the "higher critics will always leav enough of the Bible for all practical purposes. The Emperor of Korea has a hun dred wires, but never mind. There probably lant one In the whole lot that any brisk American would bars. A Chicago woman secured a divorce the other day 36 minutes after filing ber bllL This may Justly be regarded as rapid transit to single blessedness. Hetty Green never tries to organise any trust or merger. She feels that she has done pretty well If she holds what she considers her own against the tax collectors. Banker Benedict observes that Wall street Is not a locality, but a prejudice. This sounds something like a readop Hon of the heathen definition of Boa ton as a state of mind. The average citizen has great diffi culty In pronouncing the geographical names In the war news, but his per plexity Is nothing to what it would be If a .war should break out in Maine. A St Faul man has died as the re sult of being bitten by a fish that he waa tiring to take from his hook. Let the man who alts hoar after hour with out getting a bite cheer up. He may be lucky. The Japanese treat their servants as they do other members of their house holds, and everything is serene. The greatness of he Japanese will not de pend upon the way they battle with Russia they have solved the servant problem. The "Thumbnail edition" of the BI ble, which Is so small that it cannot be read without the aid of a microscope. Is in great demand in England. It has not been discovered, however, that there has been any increase in the sale t microscopes. Peace societies ought to take heart An instructor in "Jlu Jltsu" Is to bo en gaged to teach the navel cadets at Annapolis how to fight in the Japanese fashion with their arms - and - legs. When International contests are re fined down to wrestling matches the dawn of arbitration for all disputes will begin to flicker across the sky. "English spoken here; American un derstood,' is a sign recently seen in a Venetian shop-window. Does this mean that English customers listen, but Americans talk? Or is our speech so much more difficult than the parent stock that the Venetian has got only far enough to understand it? His an nouncement would call for an explana tion were it not obvious that his pur pose was merely to recognize politely that both nations speak the same tongue. Will there ever be another Homer, Virgil, Shakespeare, Dante, Tasso. Mil ton, Schiller, or even a Tennyson? Will there be any more great masters of music like those who have so com pletely passed away and whose com positions are visibly 'declining in pub lic favor? These are questions which nobody can answer, but the promise at least is far from favorable. We have entered an age in which men are more than ever concerned with the material things of life, and when they seek relaxation and diversion it Is in the direction of extreme frivolity and triviality. Creeds and dogmas have been con siderably modified in the last 50 years. With the advances made by science Intelligence has been obliged to accept these advances and dogmatic religion has been driven backward, while prac tical religion has been more and more In demand. The result is that the ne cessity for maintaining synods and councils and districts has diminished. while the needs of the people for simple religion has increased. John Calvin would find himself to-day a tol erated stranger in some Presbyterian churches, while Cotton Mather might wander vainly among the Congrega tlonallsts seeking the spiritual food he once administered so freely, and John Wesley would certainly be astonished If he met some of our modern Metho dists. Endowed churches have long been demanded by the religious workers in the older cities. As the cities grew the residence neighborhoods change . character, and churches which, a gen eratlon ago, were surrounded by the homes of the well-to-do are now in the midst of a tenement population fre quently unable, even when inclined, to support a large church. Many churches have moved with the popula- tlon that sustained them; others are trying to do missionary work among the peeople about them. Still others are preparing to carry on their work when the change In the character of the neighborhood shall have become complete. Such a church in Brooklyn asked for $00,000 to complete an en dbwnient fund of $100,000 and received $30,000 more than it asked for. A few days later another church In the same city receded a bequest of $200,000 for carrying on Its work downtown In the field sbandoned by many other churches. We are all familiar with the system of pensioning soldiers for disabilities acquired in the service, and are aware that officer of the army and navy must retire on half pay when they reach a given ago. Those who live in th cities are familiar, also, with the practice of allowing policemen and firemen who have served 20 or SO year to retire on a pension. Indeed. In New York all teachers, when they accept employment, agree that a small per centage of their salaries shall be re tained by the Board of Education to swell the pension fund. The pension ing of government clerks, common in Europe, has not yet been approved by the American people. It has been suggested, however, ss a way of re lieving the departments in Washington of the old men who are Incapacitated because of their Infirmities, in order make room for younger and more efficient men. The national civil serv ice commissioner have recently taken census of the clerks in the executive departments, with their age, status un der the rules, length of service, and military ervtce. If any, so that those considering the matter may have the facts at hand necessary to the draft ing of a bill to meet the situation. There seems to be no disposition to turn out the clerks who have grown old and feeble. The civil service com missioners think that they ought to be taken care of in some way, and many Congressmen agree with them. What ever disagreement has manifested it self is chiefly upon the method to be employed. The old fight over what music Is proper for the church is on again. In fact, it has never been entirely off, Now and then some clergyman breaks out in a philippic, sometimes against the kind of music, sometimes against the kind of people who make it, and not infrequently against both. Ocea slonally the preachers say unreason able things, as did one who declared that unless carefully guarded "music leads to licentiousness." Association, propinquity, may sometimes lead to It, and as the performance of music de mands association it may have a kind of secondary responsibility, but that music as music so leads Is a charge no body can sustain. Not music alone de mands association. The same critic maintains that church singers should be Christians. Now and again it has been discovered that some preacher was not Just the right kind of a Chris tian, but bis preaching never had any bad effects till after the discovery. How can the singing of one of the wrong kind have any ill effect so long as the kind is not known? One may admit this contention and agree that the singers ought to be Christians, but certainly they ought also to know how to sing. There is nothing more exas perating than to be forced to listen to the nerve-racking noises made by one who know nothing of singing, unless It be the Joint efforts 'of two or more of the same kind, and the more there are of them the worse it is. There is congregational singing that might be suppressed as calculated to incite to disturbance of the peace. The same critic strikes nearer the truth in the remark that "music is one of the great est factors for good or evil that exlsti to-oay" ana it this be true why give it over exclusively to the service of evil? Whether the church uses cnoir or the congregation sings, in eitner case those who trv to in? should be taught how to sing. The test of all human things is the use that is made of them. Show Bottles. Apothecaries were onco in the habit of using a red light as a sign of their trade. It so happened one night that a druggist found himself without the necessary red light, so as a substitute be placed a bottle of red liquid in the window with a candle behind it He was so well pleased with the effect that he placed another bottle of red liquid in another window. This sign made such a brave show ing that an envious rival cast about for means of Improving the sign. He hit on the scheme of placing a bottle of yellow liquid by the side of the red one, and then .surpassed his previous efforts and carried all before him by placing a green bottle by the side of the yellow one. The three made sign which caught the approval of the town, and all the druggists quickly followed in the footsteps of their more original rivals. The bottles were later replaced by the handsome colored vases which are now such a familiar sign all over the world. Queen's Robes. Royal annals have never recorded a more varied and extensive wardrobe than that which belonged to the "Vir gin Queen." Even at the age of 68, when she might be supposed to have outlived her youthful vanity, she pos sessed ninety-nine complete official cos tumes, 102 French gowns, 100 robes with trains and 67 without, 120 antique dresses, 136 bodices, 125 tunics, not to mention such trifles as 96 mantles, So dressing gown and 27 fans. It is possible that she had an ugly foot, for she possessed only nine pairs of shoes, which, considering ber ex travagances in' other articles of ap parel, must bare some meaning. At her death 8,000 articles were found duly catalogued in her wardrobe which had adorned her proud person. , The Power of Money. "My, that ugly Miss Elder is actual ly going to be married!" "Yes, it's all the outcome of ber in come." Philadelphia Bulletin. OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS The Practical Joker. TIE nractlcal Joker, the person who laughs at & B I the discomfiture of others, who gets fun out of I I his neighbor's predicaments, who lays awake St I nlrrKf nl.nnln .-im nljw P flr1t thafr will UiUI I.UUtU W V. ..V . ... ...... Y. ... cause sorrow or at least chagrin, always has been with us, is now and probably always will be. Last week a girl in a Scrantoa squib squib Into a stove. Just to scare her companions. Result, six dead, as many more seriously hurt, and factory wrecked. It was in Pennsylvania also that a small boy llxhted the escaping gas from the exhaust nine of a natural gas line, to furnish light for a wedding Vnads. Result, one life lost and valuable property destined. These are only two of many case from the news columns. Neither of the tended harm. The girl wanted to see her when the squib exploded. The boy purposed to surprise the serenaders by furnishing an Impromptu bonfire. They were simply heedless. If everyone who Is about to play a practical Joke would stop to think about It. to study out the possible consequences, there would this sort perpetrated. It Is ludicrous to comfortably seated In a chair suddenly ing on the floor, through the dexterity oker. but the odds are that the victim's Injured and that the effects of his fall will cling to him through life. Play the same trick on the practical Joker, and he would be furious. Strange as It may seem, the practical Joker la the most Ill-natured target on earth. He doesn't like his own medicine. The fault lies largely with parents. their children to respect age, to respect thoughtful and considerate. Tbere is hurts no one and causes no damage, but it Is not strenuous enough to suit some people They want to break a leg or burn buildings. Such as these are and should be placed under restraint ought not to be tolerated In any community. Toledo Blade, Eating Into the Western HE rerorts of the lumber cut A I that the paper-making concerns of the country I I are turning their attention to Wisconsin and I Xflnnoontu a nn rA ef tUtmitovtn eao m wutvv vs. ouiri vs ui V timber. There sre hundreds of thousands of acres tributary to Duluth, not reached by rail way lines, which are covered by spruce titn ber suitable for pulp. Unquestionably spruce In this country, notwithstanding tity used by the paper mills, to maintain a pulp supply Indefinitely, provided proper re-forestatlon la carried on. Here, however, Is the rub. The customary method of the pulp-mill owner who Is seeking a supply of spruce Is to buy the stumpage and cut off the timber allowing the denuded land tar grow up wood that happens to be left Hard woods commonly suc ceed soft woods on deforested areas, and vice verso, and, therefore, a spruce forest once cut down is not naturally renewed for many years. The experience of the Eastern paper mills, which have cut orer most area of spruce forest. Is likely to be that of the Central West The systematic attempt at reforestation has been Insignificant compared with the tremendous slaughter of the forests. The West should take time by the by legislation If necessary, upon proper methods of cutting and reforestation. The State has an Interest In the preser vation of its forests which is paramount to the right of the private landholder. Here In the East what Is being done is largely in the way of locking the horse has been stolen. With the great Minnesota and Wisconsin yet untouched these States JUST WORN OUT. Btory that Wanted Best After a Very Hard Worked Life. The worn-out story collapsed at the feet of the Father of Fictions. "What's wanted " inquired his Sa tanic majesty with bis usual warmth. "Oblivion, please," gasped the wretched creature. "I never pretend ed to be a good story, but that doesn't Justify the way I've been treated on earth. You will remember me If you happened to see a copy of last Sun day's Behind-Tbe-Times. I was among the Gossip of the Stage, dressed this way: M 'Blanche Walsh has a country home on Long Island and is occasionally bothered by tramps. One day a small, thin specimen of hobo honored her with a call. He told a hard luck story that would have brought tears to the eyes of a Japanese idol. "'"And do you call yourself a man?" demanded Miss Walsh. "'"No, ma'am, not entirely. Just now I'm only an outline. All I need is a little flllin' In.' " 'And he got it, too, after that ad mission of his incompleteness.' "When you turned to the Literary Chat, there I was again: '"Irving Bacheller, the author, has a country home at Sound Beach, and is occasionally bothered by tramps. One day a small, thin specimen of bo bo honored the novelist with a call. He told a hard luck story that would have brought tears to the eyes of a Japanese Idol.' ""'And do you call yourself a man?" demanded the writer. " ' "No, sir, not entirely. Just now I'm only an outline. All I need is a Uttle flllin' in." " 'And he got it, too, after that ad mission of his incompleteness.' The Woman's Page had me served in this style: " 'Mrs. Roosevelt, when spending the summer at their simple country home at Oyster Bay, is occasionally bother ed by tramps, etc' "I also posed among Anecdotes of the War: "Owing to the scarcity of 'provis ions, at Port Arthur, begging is dis couraged; but, having eluded the vigi lance of the guards, a small, thin speci men of hobo the other day accosted Viceroy Alexleff, etc' "One page further on, the Toklo correspondent had his little say: " 'Notwithstanding the splendid dis cipline of the Japanese navy, a small, should adopt a forest policy before It is too late to make It of any value. Denudation should be made Impossible with out some reforestation. Th greatest benefit however, will be derived from a coutrol of the cutting In such a manner as to make dcuudatlon Impossible, and the Stat can do this now better than later. factory threw a taken at random and pride throughout th population of Asia, a wav of sclf-contldonc, of contempt for their -European rulers, young people In companions Jump which would bear fruits of which no on can foretell th exact consequences. Influence over the and no obstacle would 11 in the way of the realisation of be fewer Jokes of see a man who Is her racial aspirations. To any person who has even slightly followed th course of Japanese feeling and policy, there can be no doubt that these ambitions can be summed up In the phrase: "Asia for the Asiatics, under Japauese hegemony." For several find himself sprawl of the practical spine lias been years past Japan has been flooding with her agents the remotest parts of Asia, to rouse the sleeping patriotism of the people and prepare tho vny for liberation. Asiatic princes and statesmen have been Docking to Toklo; among them we might name besides several Chluese and Korean dlgntrarlos, a deputation from Lbusa, the Slauieso Prime They don't teach others' rights, to be Innocent fun that Minister, the Persian grand vizier, a high priest from Af ghanistan, and several Indian maharujas uuder British rule. These men hare had long conferences with the Ministers of the Mikado, and the object of these visits, In spite of all official denials, is well known to and In full sympathy with criminal In instinct The practical joker public opinion In The Forests. HERE about In the West ahow little of other aimnl rt onoiiAA the dark grievous In the T mutilated and murdered in a wholesale way that has shocked civilization. In German Southwest Africa his there la enough the enormous quun property hss been and shot his wife children hare been In China he has been robbed of his territory until his Integrity as a nation Is threatened. In America be has been enslaved, whipped, burned at the stake and lynched. In the Philippines be has been Introduced to the "water cure" indiscriminately, with any species of and other "civilized" Look where you will on the native heath of the man of dark skin, or In foreign countries where he has sought asylum, and you will find the black man and the brown of the available been tho white man's Is the dark man's And If the dark forelock and insist, can bear, aud attempts to turn on his barbarous task civilization and progress. stable door after the forest areas In selfishness and avarice. Chicago Post thin specimen of stowaway was lately discovered aboard the flagship, and brought before Admiral Togo, etc' " 'But the climax came, your majes ty, when I found myself In the clutch of the Babbler of the Boulevard, who sold: 'At the dinner given to Carnegie on the eve of his departure, a story told by Chnunce There was silence. The Father of Fibs summoned a minion, and, indi cating the miserable wreck, said In pitying tones: "Put him In the hottest fire you have. Nothing can hurt him now." New York Sun. TRADE IN THE WAR ZONE. American Commerce Now Amount to Large Fart of th Trade. In his article In the World's Work on "our xraue in tne w ar zone," u. P. Austin, chief of the bureau of sta tistics of the Department of Commerce and Labor, presents some striking facts and figures. He says: Japan's total commerce now amounts, in round terms, to $250,000,000 a year, about equally divided between Imports and exports, and that of China to a little over $300,000,000 a year, of which Im ports considerably exceed exports. Ko rean commerce amounts to $15,000,000 a year. From 1883 to 1903 our Imports from the countries named doubled, while our exports from China, Japan and Hongkong amounted to $37,000,000; in 1903, to $72,000,000. The amount from Korea and Asiatic Russia was a mere trifle. In 1883 our exports to there countries, Including Korea and Afil-itic Russia, amounted to $50, (XX ... i. Tin uul:ea clear that our trade in terest in these quarters is very great We buy a very large proportion of the unmanufactured silk and practically all of the tea exported by Japan and we also buy large quantities of raw silk and tea from China, as well as many other articles, such as opium matting, rice, wool and manufactured silks. Of the exports of $50,000,000 value in 1003, $21,000,000 went to Ja pan, $19,000,000 to China, nearly $9,000,000 to Hongkong, and $1,500,000 to Asiatic Russia. As regards' our trade with the two countries now at war our exports to Japan in 1873 were $8,000,000, in 1903 $21,000,000; to Rus sia, our exports in 1873 were $12,000,- 000. in 1903 $15,000,090. Thus In thir ty years our exports to Russia In creased 25 per cent and to Japan 150 per cant ' Boston Transcript Asia for the Asiatics. B look upon It as a war between Japan and 1 A f Uussla not so the Chinese, the Burmese, the yy Perslaus or th Siamese. To them this Is a . ixmnlct between whit and yellow, between the JTfJiQ forces of the West against those of th East PAJTli between Europ aud Asia. A Japanese victory would send a mighty wav of Independence Furthermore, Japan would receive a great prestige, her Chinese Empire would become supreme, Japan. Westmluster Review. Black Man's Burden. has been a good deal said and written the "white man's burden," and tiot a It has been pure cant. Hut there la an side to the picture, and this reveals that man also has a burden, and a moat one. ' Congo Free State he has been robbed. seized, he has been flogged, Imprisoned has been mad a beast of burden aud his tortured. Inventions. man carrying a burden compared with which the "white man's burden" Is a featherweight If the dark man baa burden, the white man has been and curse. man finds his burden greater than he master, It is called a "native uprising," and soldiers are sent to show him his proper place In the white man's scheme of The white mans burden Is largely a myth; but the dark man's burden Is terribly real, oppressively heavy, grossly cruel and unjust In a word, it Is the whit man's Commerce of the United States with Japan, Korea, China, Hongkong and Asiatic Russia, 1843-1903, was as fol lows: Imports Into the United States from the countries named: In 1843, $4,383,000; 1853, $10,573,000; 1803, $11,. 034,000; 1873. $30,445,000; 1&83, $37, 159.000; 1893, $49.3-19,000; 1003, $72, 294,000. Exports from the United States to the countries named: In 1843, $2,410,- 000; 1853, $3,730,000; 18(13, $0,355,000 1873, $17,770,000; 1883. $1., -.000 1803, $11,404,000; 1903, $49,004,000. ext to tne unitea states come Great Britain, yet Its commerce with the territory in question has only grown from $50,000,000 In 1853 to $100,000,000 in 1903 that is, doubled. 8TORY MAY BE QUESTIONED. Diner and Dlned-Upon Crawled Swiftly to a Creek. Near the Canaucta Creek a water- snake met a blacksnake. The reptiles did not Immediately clinch, but hissed fiercely and circled around each other, as if seeking for an opening. The blacksnake pressed the argument, and in a few seconds succeeded in getting the tall of his opponent Into his mouth, and, to preclude all possibility of es cape, began to eat toward the head. This was exactly what the water snake wanted. It started on a straight line for the stream, and his consumer following him and dining upon him simultaneously, was, of course, obliged to travel a. little faster In the same dl rectlon. The watersnake was a rapid mover and the blacksnake a quick eat er, and for a short time it seemed doubtful whether one reptile or two would be visible when the stream was gained. About half of the leading snake bad been devoured, and the edge of the water was only a few feet away, when the blacksnake suddenly realized that a shabby trick was being played on him at meal time. He hastily attempted to disgorge his repast, but the effort was made too late. Not more than five Inches of watersnake had been yielded up when both reptiles plunged into the stream and sank at once. A hundred bubbles rose, and the only spectator of the con test Is inclined to believe that the blacksnake's life floated to the surface In one of them. New York World. Self-made men and eggs are too ful of themselves to hold anything els. INDOLENT BY NATURE. TkooMJUiU of I'orto V leans Llv Lilt th lon of Meilco, Natur ha put a premium upon In dolenc In Porto Rico, writes John Ball Osborn in the World's Work, for a an American official has remarked a- native, whll lying In his hammock, can pick a banana with on hand and at th sam Urn dig a swtet potato with on foot Th natives ar never, theless warm hearted, law-abiding audi Intelligent honest and capable In busi ness, public-spirited, and appreciative. for th moat part of th blessing be stowed by their new government lUc prejudice and religious strife hardly exist Ther la no alarming Intemper ance. Ther ar no serious dispute between capital and labor, and ther la no marked tendeucy toward social ism. Two-fifths of th Porto Rleans ar colored, either pur negroes or tnulat- toes, a proportion which Is a trifle larger than In Cuba (on third), but much smaller than In th sugar pro ducing British West Indies Islands. With low rent, light cotton clothing. charcoal for cooking, and no heating problem, abundance of cheap natlv fruits and vegetables, fresh fish on th coast and the dried, salted fish In th interior, and with temperate habits, . -C- - '. .... A NATIVE IIUL'NK or I1AHK. the Porto Rlcan laborer finds a bar subsistence easily assured unless be Is handicapped with an unduly large aud unproductive family. Fresh meats ar too expensive for bint, however; be re lies for food on bananas, ltuia snd rice. In fact, 50 bananas or plantains ar frequently accepted as the equlv alent of a day's wages of about 30 cents. This condition of the laboring class Is far from satisfactory. Thousands are upon a level with the peons of Mexico. They ar anemic In appear ance; they live In squalid and vermin haunted huts, constructed of cane or boards, with front and rear doors, and shutter window, snd often with a dirt floor. Tbey dress scantily In th cheapest cotton stuffs, while their chil dren below the age of 7 or 8 years run naked. They us primitive household) utensils, and cook with a simple char coal outfit; and at nlgbt their only light is the tallow candle, though, be ing unable to read, they hav little us for better. Such, then, are the masse of Porto Rico, whom the Americans have begun to uplift to a higher sta tus. A GIANT CARVING KMIE. Th biggest carving knife ever ex hibited Is on view at the Exposition. This monster blade Is 30 feet In length,, and has an edge as sharp as a razor. It is made out of the finest steel, and the handle Is a masterpiece of th MONSTER BLADE Of THIRTY FEKT, cutler's art, elaborately carved and beautifully polished. It would tnkc a veritable giant to wield a knife like- this. The blade Is a Itogether of Ameri can manufacture, and It shows for the first time that American cutlery, which. was formerly not as good as that made- in other countries, but now reached a point of perfection where It fears no. rivalry All Id the Family. Brigadier General Fred Grant who Is now In command of the Department of the Lake at Chicago, was recently th guest of the public school princi pals of that city at luncheon. Tho chairman, rising to Introduce blni made what he considered as a neat little speech. "When Fred Grant was a boy at West Point," he said, "his father, th famous general, wrote to the com mandant inquiring how the son pro gressed. 41 'You need have no worry was the reply. 'Your son Is getting better marks In everything than you ever bad. In anything."' "That is a remarkably true' story , said General Grant, when he rose to. respond. "I remember the Incldut perfectly. But, gentlemen, I will not deceive you. There Is a mistake of one generation. I ant the famous gen eral who wrote to the commandant, and my eon Is th one whose fathor had such poor marks. But never mln.J Mr. Chairman. It is all in the family."- Grewsome Violin. A violin owned by a resident lr North London consists of the greater part of a human skull, over wulch 1 stretched a piece of sheepskin acting os the soundboard. The finiror-board Is formed of a human thigh ne, while the pegs, were once tho small! bones of the band of a. Souh Afri can native. Even a professor of mathematics Is seldom able to figure a woman's age correctly. Some men's wealth is fabulous and that of others a mere fable.
