Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989, November 13, 1963, Image 4

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Medford mail tribune., November 13, 1963, Image 4

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Newspaper Page TextWEDNESDAY, MlDPORDKrTBIBUNl V "Everyone In Southern Oregon n..ri. Thn Mail Tribune" 57rCI7.h.rf nailv excent Saturday by MEUFORD PRINTING i CO JS N or lhFlrSt., Ph77a-8 Ml HERB GREY Advertl.ini. MinlF hISry CHiraAN, Telei Editor KlCHARD JEWETf. SporU Editor OLIVE ST ARCHER Women. Edlto, DALE ER1CKSON, CjrcuUUMg Entered as econd c ay matter t nteren as wot" ":T., iii ol Medlord. Oregon under Act 01 SUBSCRlPTlbN RATES By Mall in Dally and guna.y . -jr-rj Daily and Sunday- rnoi 10.00 Dally and Sunday-3 1 moi. 8.00 Qri.v Only One year 3.uu Single copy (Mailed) " .l?r.ndsTnd.5-yVe-ar2J.OO rally ana aunu-j Mfl !rind'vlndor.Copyloo j. " lv in., n Mndfora o'liiclai KSV o. Vaccounty . . -TT.-j -Jlr, tarn ntltinal Sull Leased Wire 0 P i Telephoto Newspicturti. ATES Ol'lcet In New York, ui Denver. NEWSPAMt PUIUSHf IS ASSOCIATION NATION A I EDITOIIAl Member Calllornla Newspaper Publisher! Asaoctatlon Flight o' Time Medford and Jackson County History from tna tiles of Th. Mail Triburu 10, 20, 30, 4U and 50 yeart ago. ,n VE-ARS AGO Nov. 13, 1953 (Friday) Jackson County tax Paymenw must be in the post office before midnight Sunday or it will be too late to beat the deadline for Teen- Bohnert of Central 1 point is one of eight 4-H mem bers in the United States to be awarded an expense-paid trip to the National 4-H Club con gress being held in Chicago the last of this month. 20 YEARS AGO Nov. 13, 1943 (Saturday! - :t.jAn( ftf Kr-hnnls E. H. Hedrick says vacancy in high school coaching staff by . .1 l nxna Arnnlrl has resignation ui "" : . , not yet been filled; Principal nub ,1 -..lino in Leonard iwayneiu aim u".o temporary capacity. Arthur Pcrrv s Ye Smudge Pot" column: "Edwin O'Brien and Jim Kublie of the Applegate quit tan piowm .. ' i,.. in rush in and enouu.li iuu"j i i, pungle up their tithes. v 30 YEARS AGO Nov. 13, 1933 (Monday) Edwin Workman, 91, longtime Medford resident, dies at his i trod Mnin Street. Frank J. Van Dyke, well known young Medford attorney, joins staff of William Briggs in Ashland. 40 YEARS AGO , Nov. 13, 1923 (Tuesday) Officers elected by local coun cil of Boy Scouts include F. J. Newman, president; Larry Schade, vice president, and J. B. Coan, Scoutmaster, Glen Fabrick, quarterback, acts as host for members of Medford High football team at Medford Hotel; speakers include W. J. Warner, president of Ki wanis club. 50 YEARS AGO Nov. 13, 1913 (Thursday) Members of Grand Army of Republic and Women's Relief Corps attend 42nd wedding an niversary party for Mr. and Mrs. G. W. Hall on Palm Street. What's Your I.Q.? seven or eight it excellent; five or ik it good. 1. The Gulf of Bothnia lies between what two countries of northern Europe? 2. In the romances about King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table, who were the par ents of Sir Galahad? 3. Which ship will sail the shorter distance to Yokohama, Japan one that leaves from Seattle, Wash., or one that leaves fromi San Francisco, Calif.? 4. The play "You Can't Take it With Ynu" was written bv two authors; Moss Hart and whom else? s Who was George Fox? 6. Name the cartoonist who draws "L'il Abner." 7. Which mountain range sepa rates European from Asiatic Soviet Russia? 8. What docs Shakespeare call "the green-eyed monster"?- 9. Name the limestone cone that forms below a stalactite. 10. Unscramble these metals: Nulmuami, Sganemimu, Ozrnbe. Answers: 1. Finland and Swe den. 2. Latincclot and Elaine. 3. Seattle. 4. George S. Kauf man. 5. Founder of Society of Friends. 6. Al Capp. 7. Urals. 8. Jealousy, 9. Stalagmite. 10. Aluminum, Magnesium, bronze. 4 A NOVEMBER 13, 1063 Congress Mired Down Congress is a tortoise. But there is no hare in sitrht to goad it into a Why does it move it seem to care whether We have concluded that it has no sense of urgency because the American people Con gress s constituency has no sense ot urgency. Either that, or it has failed to express it in terms sufficiently clear so that Some tentative motions have been made to ward cleaning up the situation that makes Con cress slower than molasses in January, but they've had no effect so far. nOESNT anyone care? Aren't there throngs of concerned citizens who watch in amazement while the national legislature stays in session past the normal June adjournment date, past through the dog days ot past Halloween, past Veterans Day, and with little nrosnect of accomplishing anything more except recessing for Thanksgiving and Christ mas On Veterans Day Congress was also in recess. The San Francisco Chronicle said, "but hardly anyone could tell the difference. Congressmen did nothing Veterans Day, but then they haven't done much of anything in the windy days when they were in session." THE CONGRESS is trapped. The most vicious problem is the seniority system, which puts the most durable, as distinct from the most able, men in control of the power ful committees. Committees can prevent legis lation from coming to the floor for a vote in either house, even when it is clear that a ma jority of the members want to vote on it. This frustrates, this sentative system, when a single powerful com mittee chairman can flout the will of the Con gress, And it is both anachronistic and terrifying when someone like Sen. Eastland, a vintage racist, is chairman of the consider the Civil Rights gets from the House to the Senate. IT IS EQUALLY reprehensibe when a man like Son Pvrrl whnso fiscal irlpns avp nur, nf the ... " last century, can delay a badly needed federal And now it is seriously proposed that Con gressmen vote themselves a $10,000 per year raise, on top of the $22,500 plus expenses, allow ances and other prerogatives they already enjoy. We say let them earn their raise beiore they get it. One would be hard put to say that average Congressman has earned his present salary so far. There are, of course work hard and devotedly to get things moving. But no single Congressman, or even grouping of them, can function effectively under the present procedures. THE CHRONICLE, in musing on the non record amassed by Congress this session, pointed out it is easier, and saves space, to list what they have done, rather than what they haven't. And it concluded "The record has been so disheartening that even Sen. Thomas J. Dodd, a Democrat from Connecticut, called the session to date a 'fiasco.' The Senate reacted with such horror, and trampled upon Senator Dodd so thoroughly, that he apol ogized. Then everyone relaxed again. , "There were two other accomplishments by this set of law makers. They granted honorary citizenship to Winston Churchill. They also proclaimed National Harmony Week, April 15-21." We can hardly wait until April 15. E. A. Do It-Then Quit There's one thing to be said for the Oregon Legislature, now in Salem sweating out what to do about the state's fiscal crisis. At least it accomplished more in 141 days than Congress has so far all year. And the sal aries even with the boost they gave themselves are a lot less. We suspect that if the States had a chance to the people of Oregon did the results would be no less devastating. THERE IS no machinery for doing this. But the same effect would be achieved if every interested voter and, in no uncertain terms, tell their Senators and Representatives just what they think and want briefly, succinctly, and to the point. Congress would get the message, and fast. If we were writing such a letter it would go something like this: "Pass the Tax Reform bill. Pass a decent Civil Rights bill. Pass a compromise Foreign Aid bill. Pass the Youth Employ ment and National Service Corps bills. Pass the Area Re development bill. Pass the Conservation Fund and Wilderness System bills. And do It quickly. Junk the rest until the next session. Set up a blue-ribbon committee to outline legislative reform. Then adjourn." IF SOMETHING like this wore to happen (and 1 it won't) it would do more to restore the waning faith of the American people than any thing else that could happen. Going back to Senator Dodd for a moment, here is part of what he said: "We are not doing the people's business. ... No wonder the Senate has been denigrated. . . . We are worried about scandals that beset us. We are worried about criticisms that confront us. Our business is to revive in the people's minds the idea that the Senate is the best body in all the world to protect a free people." That, sir, is going to faster pace. so slowly? Why doesn't it does its 100 or now Congress hears it. July 4, drags on all summer, past baoor way, emasculates, the repre committee which will bill it, that is, it ever - - - perhaps even deny tax cut. exceptions men who : people of the United slap down Congress, as the state Legislature, would take pen in hand take some doing. E. A. "Boss, Do You Want Ahead of Private fcnterprise Communications Letters to the Editor must bear the name and address of the writer, although under certain circumstances the use ol a pen name or initial for publication Is permissible. The Mail Tribune reserves the right to edit all letters with a view to clarification and condensation. Letter submitted for publication must not exceed 400 words. The letters printed in this column do not necessarily represent the views ot tr paper. In fact the contrary it often the case. Crossing Accidents To the Editor: In Sunday's Medford Mail Tribune I read the letter of Mrs. L. J. Rentz concerning the picture on the front page of the Medford pa per Nov. 7. When this accident happened I was a member of the switch crew at Jackson St. I can assure Mrs. Rentz that the members of the crew, as well as all trainmen and engine- men, do all in their power to avoid crossing accidents even to the risk of their own safety and employment. Whenever a motorist receives sicnal from a railroad man he has violated company rules and risks discipline, lhe rail road is forced to give such in structions as too many times sienal has been claimed to have been one to proceed after an accident happens, wnen one is given it is at personal risk for your protection or accom modation. That night at Jackson St. I was warned by a Medford po lice officer not to turn my back on a motorist for a second . The point is well taken, as many disregard all safety to themselves and others and even try to force by trainmen and police at accident scenes.. In my report I stated I thought both occupants of the car had been drinking. This is true of the majority of crossing accidents which I have seen in Medford in the last 20 years. The car you S!..v pictured under a box car had run by a warning bell, red crossing light in a wig-wag on the driver's side of approach and struck the fifth car from engine in a cut of 12 cars. In regard to crossing gates, State Rep. James Redden of Medford had a bill prepared to require these gates on main crossings. As State Legislative Representative of the Order of Railway Conductors and Brake men I worked with him on this matter and was prepared to back his bill. Upon investiga tion we found we already have statutes giving the PUC au thority to demand such installa tions. We also found the rail road willing to give the best of cooperation in such installation. However most cities nave found the share of cost to them as provided by law to be prohi bitive in most cases. Medford has made a far bet ter record on crossing acci dents, however, than most oth er cities. We in train and engine service will continue to do our very best to prevent every ac cident we can. Please help by taking it easy at such danger points and help us save your life. Marion S. Fclter Vice Chairman and Legislative Representative Oregon Slate Legislative Committee of the Order of Railway Conductors and Brakemcn Ashland, Ore. Inspired Prophet To the Editor: I would like to discuss a question or two with Miss Burnham about her letter in Sunday's Mail Tribune. I am a firm believer in a supreme intelligence we call God, that the Bible declares is an im mortnl celestial being, with a body, parts and passions. And he clothed the spirits of Adam and Eve with the material parts of this earth, which he had also created from substances that had always existed. Science claims much of It came from the extreme heat in the sun. Re Ihnt as it may, in the meridian of time alloted to this earth from the eternities, as we know it in our lime. God sent his Son "made of a wom an, made under the law" Gal. 4:4. And in the image of his Father in Heaven we call God. This son had supernatural pow ers, also like his Father. He walked upon the water of the Sea of Galilee, stilled its turbu lent waves, tilled the nets with fish, fed the thousands, raised the dead unto life, and so many MEDFORD MA tli TRIBUNE, MEDFORD. To See Government Get other miracles too numerous to mention. We have the New Testament that has endured the test of time for nearly 2000 years, for a wit ness and testimony that it is true. However, it could be pos sible the Book could be destroy ed, but its teachings can never be destroyed. Miss Burnham says "The su preme ruler of the universe is nature." Did nature then in inspire the Prophet Nahum in 2:3 that the uniforms of the British soldiers would be "Red" . . . And we in our day would have automobiles "with torches and would justle one another in the Broadways"? And Isaiah could see our time of passen- er trains Cha 5:26. And he also saw our planes that could fly like doves to their windows. 60:8. I think it makes more sense to believe God inspired his Prophets as the Prophet Amos indicates in Cha 3:7. Miss Burnham says "The supreme ruler of the universe is nature." The Apostle Paul in Romans, seventh chapter, seems to indi cate Satan then is in cahoots with nature. John F. Peterson . 611 S. Holly St. Medtord. Seed Ealcrs and Bug Eaters To the Editor: Iffen I were a big store like Mont g o m e r y wararooe and l wanted to tell women folk what to buy, I wouldn't advertise on the sports page, as per Nov. 3, for we aren't interested in that page so much, so I didn't see it. Well then, so I did, but I didn't buy nothin. so I don t do right grammer. either? I know not to use two negatives in one sentence, but I like to: It makes the "don't" and "won't" words more strong- cr. Yun see, l spent years way back in the big north woods and could only talk to my horse, pup and pet bob-cat. They didn't know the dif, but all the birds understood me, exceptin the blue jays. They shoulda known better than to tear little wrens apart right in range o' my twen ty-two. I sure settled their hash 1 wish we could find some way to save both our song birds and the fruit, don t you? Spraying gets both the seed eaters and lhe bug eaters. Isn't it sort o' gruesome when givers-out of information try to tell us what the good book says, and whom to vote for, and then put their name on file so we can't come back at 'em without putting our names on file, too? Most of us have read our Bibles and studied the voting biz and made up our minds on both sub jects. They irk me on end and I ain t very easily irked. Some of them 'ere folk are edgum cnted. I bet, but they can't change us commoners. I went to school way back when and, oh the things I did learn. I find some of them words written and carved in various places to this day. 1 gotla go now. It's a secret and I got to find Sahry, Saman thy and Suzane so they can help me keep it. Pearl Spackman (General Delivery) Rogue River, Ore. Technique To the Editor: Mrs. Bettv Walters (M.T. 11 t points to the Congo and Katanga (the "Hungary" of 196!) as a suc cessful UN peace action. I would ask her, and all others who de fend the UN action in Kntanga, whether they believe that the proper way of preventing civil war Is to intervene against the intended victim instead of against the aggressor. Is forc ing an unwilling. Christian, free dom loving, anti Communist, pro American people under Communist rule by bombing inetr worncr camps, churches, missions, schools, and hospitals ann oy terrorizing mem with indiscriminate slaughter of ci OREGON Pocketbook Issues in GATT Will By PHIL NEWSOM UP1 Forelan News Analyst IS In Brussels and Geneva de liberations are under way which eventually will effect the pock- etbooks of more than 185 mil lion Americans and more than 172 million Europeans. Eventually, the outcome couid affect the price of such widely diverse items as an Italian necktie in Kansas City and an American frozen chicken in Mu nich. In Geneva a panel of experts appointed by an organization bearing the formidable title of General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT) is attempt ing to arbitrate the so-called chicken war between the United States and the six na tions of the European Common Market. The United States charges that Common Market levies against American frozen chick en literally has frozen Ameri can poultry producers out of the community. It sets the loss at $46 million. The Common Mar ket claims the loss is only $19 million. vilian men, women and children your idea of "peaceful action"? And don t tell me that tms dtan t happen. I've got pictures of it, and documented evidence from 46 angry Elizabethville doctors to prove it. Where, may I ask, was our great Peace organization when India crushed Goa? When the Red Chinese raped Tibet? And when the Hungary freedom fighters cried out to them for help? Can you name me one in stance when the UN has opposed Communist aggression and tyr anny? How does it happen that since the UN was organized 840,000,000 formerly free people have been swallowed up behind the Iron Curtain into Communist slavery? According to you, Mrs. Wal ters, the UN was never intended to be a super state. Why, then, does the treasonous UNESCO program in our schools down grade patriotism and teach our children the doctrine of one world government and world cit izenship? Why the plan, as out lined in Department of State Publication 7277, to build a UN Armed Force sp powerful that no nation will ever dure chal lenge it? Also, you charge that the UN Charter does not supersede our Constitution. Yet you cannot deny that our Senate ratified it as a treaty. Now, please let me refer to Article 6 of our Consti tution which states, "All treaties made under the authority of the United States shall be the Su preme Law of the Land any thing in the Constitution to the contrary notwithstanding." Examples ot over-riding our Constitution are: 1. Voting us into the Korean war. 2, Taking us into the Congo war. 3. Stop ping our President, supposedly the Supreme Commander of the U. S. Armed Forces, from sup plying air cover to the Cuban freedom fighters at the Bay of Pigs. Under United Nations rule we have reversed the Monroe Doc trine. Instead of us telling for eign powers to stay out of Latin America, Khrushchev is now telling US to stay out, as he works toward Soviet take-over. This is the dishonorable, cow ardly, UN "peace" of appease ment in which we feed our friends one by one to the Rus sian "Crocodile, hoping that he will eat us last. Frank Koch 412 South First St. Central Point, Ore. -O Editor's note: Adolf Hitler did not first devise, but he made good use of, the tactic of The Big Lie. Webster's defines the Big Lie thus: "Untruth on a large scale consciously used as a propa ganda technique on the as sumption that it is more likely to compel ncliot than an un truth on a modest scale." The letter above is an exam ple of the Big Lie technique much in use by the Birchers and their ilk. We will point out only one example, probably the most flagrant of many, but also the most easily nailed. The pertinent part of Article VI of the U. S. Constitution says: "This constitution, and the laws of the United States which shall be made in pursuance thereof; and all treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the United States, shall be the supreme law of the land; and the judges in every state shall be bound thereby, anything in the consti tution OR LAWS OF ANY STATE to the contrary notwith standing." Compare that with the quo tation given in the letter. The words omitted, including the capitalized words (our capital ization) completely change the meaning. If deliberate misquo tation isn't the Big Lie tech nique, what is it? Affect Americans, Europeans And, unless the Common Market community makes some sort of amends, the United States threatens retaliatory tar iffs on two dozen or more items imported from Europe. At stake is much more than the frozen chicken market. The United States annually sells to Europe more than a billion dol lars worth of agricultural goods. And the fear is that a high protective tariff system eventually could bar a large portion of that total from Eu rope. The Geneva arbitrators may come up with a decision this week. For the future of the Com mon Market, and its ultimate hopes for a politically united Europe, the problem under study in Brussels is even thor nier. Foreign ministers of West Germany, France, Italy, Bel gium, Holland and Luxembourg are attempting to agree upon a Common Market agricultural policy. French President Charles de Gaulle, with ambitions to make France the breadbasket of Eu rope, has hinted he may pull out of the Common Market alto gether unless agreement is reached by the end of the year. De Gaulle's chief political strength lies with the French farmer who grows increasingly unhappy as he is caught in a squeeze between falling prices for his bumper crops and stead ily increasing costs. Thus the pressure on De Gaulle. De Gaulle's chief opposition is the West German farmer. Ger man agriculture is less efficient Strictly Personal By Sydney J. Harris (c) Field Enterprises, Inc. ADVERSARY The man at the cocktail party came up and introduced him self. "I've been wanting to meet you for a long time, he said, "for purely selfish reasons. I'd like you to write something about divorce lawyers." "Always looking for usable material," I replied with glib insincerity. "Just exactly what would you like me to say about them; "Well, I happen to be one he explained, "and I'd like you to refute the popular belief that divorce lawyers stir up more trouble between parties. I've tried to reconcile many more couples than not, and most of my colleagues have tried the same.' That's an interesting view- peint," I murmured. "Tell me more." "We're not looking for busi ness," he continued. "We have all we can handle. And we get our fee whether the cou ple is reconciled or not. It might not be quite as large, but it's much more satisfying to us." We continued chatting for a few minutes, and 1 promised to think about the matter. I was absolutely convinced that he meant what he said, and so do his colleagues. They really believe that they try to reconcile couples wherever possible and on the consci ous level, they prefer such an ending to divorce litigation. What they fail to see is that the "adversary system" in itself promotes bitterness and tension and self-interest on the part of both the contestants and these tendencies run counter to any true recon ciliation. The chief function of an at torney is to protect the inter est of his client. While on the one hand the lawyer may be urging the couple to settle their differences, on another level he is there to see to it that his own client gets the best possible "deal" in finan cial and legal terms. t These two attitudes are basi cally incompatible. "Reconcil ing" means giving at least as much as you take, and even a little more. It means sacrificing some self-interest, subordinating one's selfishness, and engaging in a human transaction rather than in a financial one. Even with two attorneys who consciously desire a couple to reconcile, me panics are en veloped in an atmosphere of con lest, in which trust is replaced oy suspicion and personal feel ings are corseted in formal and legal restrictions. Nor is the lawyer to blame for this; it is the very clement in which he works, and he is not doing a good job as a counsel if he fails to provide for every safeguard. There is a basic contradiction between love and equity; the former is a matter of pure risk- taking, the latter depends on guarantee and contracts. There is no "justice" in a marriage: to work, it must go beyond mere justice into the mystical realm of "mercy." Common Market and than the French, but enjoys the most government protection ot any in Europe. In West Ger many, the farmer also is a po tent political force. And, unhappily lor the Ger man farmer, any agreement on a common policy must come at his expense. A current proposal would aid the French farmer but is esti mated to cost German farmers $140 million a year. rne cnances lor agreement In the Day's News By FRANK JENKINS Forty-five years ago Monday was a day that no one then alive will ever forget. It was on that day that Ger man representatives signed a truce between the Allies and Germany. The signing took place in a railroad dining car in the Forest of Compiegne, in France. The signing of the truce marked the end of actual fighting in World War I. It touched off the wildest and happiest celebration that the world had ever seen. THERE was a curious side lirht tn thn rplphralinn The news of the signing leaked out prematurely, leading to what was known as the False Armistice. The celebration be gan with the first hint of the signing of the truce. People went wild with joy. TPHEN- There came the news that it wasn't true. The shock was terrible. But it didn't last long. The signing of the Armistice was shortly con firmed, and the celebration was resumed where it had been halted. It went on and on. WHAT a day it was The. world war The world was mad with joy. Nobody Can Count on Us Iv By Arthur Hoppe fTw. " J We keep having these tie-ups on the autobahn to West Berlin. Mr. Khrushchev says any one of them could lead to a nuclear holocaust and the end of civili zation. True. But fear not, nei ther side will ever yield. As you know, the Russians get to check every convoy of troops we send over the auto bahn to West Berlin. And if there are more than 30 pas sengers in the trucks, they have to get out, line up and be counted. A typical Cold War agreement. Very simple. The oretically. , But take the last tie-up. Along come 12 U.S. trucks. "Stop!" says the Russian colonel. And he peeks inside, "Aha!" he says, "you've got' one, two, three, four, five ... 44 soldiers in those trucks. That's more than 30. Now that I've count ed them, they've got to get out and get counted. Hold it!" says the Ameri can colonel. "You counted the drivers, too. Drivers don't count." "So, okay," savs the Russian colonel, "we don't count the drivers. You got one, two, three . . . twelve trucks. Twelve trucks, twelve drivers. Twelve from 44 that's let's see, 32. Hah! Everybody out!" Mold it! says the American colonel. "We got 24 drivers. Count them for yourself. Those 24 in the front seats are drivers and 20 in the back seats are passengers. What's the matter. can't you count?" "You mean it takes two driv ers to drive one truck?" says the Russian. "Right." savs the American. "One steers and the other lights his cigarettes "It's political persecution. he doesn't like my before the end of the year seem bui upon agreement also hinges the chance for success for even more important nego. tiations scheduled for May 1964. This is the meeting of GATT nations at which the United States hoped to negotiate across-the-board tariff cuts up to 50 per cent. One way or another, it affectj every pocKetDooK m the U. S. NEVER AGAIN would th.r. be war. The world had learned us tesson. in every mind was the prophecy of Isaiah: "They shall beat their swnrrii into plowshares, and their spears iiuu pruning nooKs; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any AH, ME. What an anti-climax. World War I was followed by World War II. And the horrors of World War I were mild when compared with the horrors of World War II. And if World War III should come, its horrors would far transcend the horrors of World Wars I and II. BUT The memories of that wonderful 11th day of Novem ber, 1918, will never be forgotten by those who lived through it, The dream was shattered. But the wonders of it will never die. It just may be that the mem ories of that beautiful and won derful day when it seemed to us that war had been banished from the earth may eventually lead us to peace to the prophe sied beating of the swords into plowshares. At least let's hope so. wipes the windshield, scratches his back and hollers 'Look out!' when necessary. Just like the Teamsters Union. It is, sir, the American way!" "Bah!" says the Russian colonel. "I am checking with Moscow." So he does. "Don't back down!" cries Moscow. And rushes up reinforcements. "Don't back down!" cries Wash ington. And rushes up reinforce ments. All Soviet forces are alerted. All U.S. forces are alerted. NATO is alerted. Rock ets presumably swivel ominous ly into position. France and Britain cry, "Don't back down!" And rush up reinforcements. To defend America's inalienable right to have two drivers in every truck. i Forty-two hours pass. Person ally, I don't know how World War III was averted. Because both sides claim they didn't back down. But 42 hours is a long time to sit in a truck. And I think the Russian colonel was finally able to report to Mos cow that all 44 U.S. soldiers had at last gotten out of the trucks and been counted. "All at once?" says Moscow. "Not exactly," says the colonel. "Kind of one by one." Well, whatever, I'm glad we didn't blow up civilization. This time. But don't get me wrong. I'm sure we're all willing to die for our right to have two drivers in every truck. Just as all Russians are willing to die for the egalitarian principle of one truck, one driver. Moreover, if you're looking for a reason to destroy civiliza tion, it's as good as any. M you're looking for a reason. wasn't ipccdlng bumper sticker!"