Quips
and
Quotes
A new baby had arrived in the family,
and three-year-old Billy was pushed aside
when all the neighbors and friends came
to visit. After the crowd eventually
thinned out, Billy got a chance to peek in
the crib himself.
"Enjoy it now," he was heard whisper
ing to the infant, "because it won't be
long before you're old and neglected like
me." . F. G. Kernan
Decidedly Different,
of Course!
How frequently I flatter friend
With comments on their youth,
Which they reciprocate (though
not
With flattery jutt the truth).
Hal Chadwick
It'll Bo a Beauty
My wife has a dressing-room table
that's filled
With all sorts of items with which she
is skilled:
With creams that are cleansing and
creams that are vanishing,
With potions for adding and lotions
for banishing,
With curlers and tweezers and clippers
and files,
With bottles and boxes and hairpins
in piles.
It looks, I confess, like a chemistry lab,
This place where for hours she can
dibble and dab,
And I hope she knows well what it says
on each label
That graces the bottles and jars on
this table,
Or some day, at work here combating
erosion,
She'll leave us, I fear, in a mighty
explosion. Richard Armour
Two businessmen met on the street for
the first time in months. "You must have
been real proud of your son when he
graduated from medical school," one said.
"All those years you scrimped and sacri
ficed just so he could be a doctor. What
did he say to you when he got his degree?"
" 'Dad,' " the other answered sadly, " 'I
want you to cut doivn drinking and go on
a rigid diet.' " Anna Herbert
The Post Office
Rewrites the Hit Parade
"Shuffle Off to Zip Code 14200"
"I Want to Go Back to My Little Grass
Shack in 96750, Hawaii"
"Way Down Yonder in 70100"
"37400 Choo Choo"
"Mention My Name in 53081"
"Sidewalks of 10022"
"I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write
Myself (Zip Code 19000, Zone 31) a
Letter" William Garvin
"Your eggs and toast are in the oven cooked them last night."
Family Weekly, October 17, 1K3
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04 y,&
-2, KS
. ... 'J
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