Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (June 2, 1963)
k ids write their And when they do, they're often outrageously funny Compiled by Harold Dunn Illustrated by Syd Hoff IN most states, you have to be 21 to vote for a Congressman. But there's no age limitation placed on who can write him and nobody knows this better than America's kids. They regularly take pen, pencil, or crayon in hand and express their thoughts in no uncertain terms to their Congressmen or even to somebody else's. Some of the letters are zany, some have the urgency of a telegram and all of them are uninhibited. Here is a selection of such letters to Congress men, in which the truth is expressed as only kids can do it. Chairman Legislative Branch Washington, D.C. Dear Chairman : Why this business of having- two sena tors for every state? One is plenty. Sure you would have to work a little harder, but we must all do our part to help in these times. You should say a speech about it and resign. A Future Taxpayer Senator Ernest Gruening The Senate Washington, D.C. Dear Senator Gruening. A question arose in my mind while I was hearing the news last night I do not get paid for coming to school. May I see someone about my unemployment check? Dennis S Mrs. Catherine May Congressional Building Washington, D.C. Dear Mrs. May : I am a Baptist and a Brownie. May I join the Republicans besides, or would this give me a conflecting interest? Marie W Senator Harry Byrd Senate Office Washington, D.C. Dear Senator Byrd : This is to inform you that I am going to name my baby after you if I get mar ried and he is a boy and he is my fourth one. You are fourth on my list. Jane Y Via, 4y?Ant"'" Y Chairman Rules Committee Congress Dear Chairman: Get me the official rules for football (touch) so I can practice to be President Thank you very much. Lloyd L Senator Everett Dirkson Senate Bldg. Washington, D.C. Dear Senator Dirkson : All my friends are running for presi dent, so I am choosing something else. Of all these people, who makes more: a gov ernor or senator or house of representa tive, so when I run I will know. I plan on thinking of my family as well as my ca reer. Sincerely, Hal K Congressman Thomas Pelly Congress Building Washington, D.C. Dear Congressman Pelly, Have you made up your opinion on China yet? Please send it to me and I would like to see it. I already have my opinion, so don't give any facts if you don't mind. x Thank you, Gilberts : Congressman John Jarman The Capital Washington, D.C. Dear Congressman Jarman, I would like your autograph. Please mail it in a plain envelope as long as my folks are Democrats. Randall B Congressman Craig Hosmer . U.S. Congress Washington, D.C. Dear Congressman Hosmer : Write me something. Make it a person to person letter. I don't mind what you say if you will only do it in your own hand. Sincer Oh, write two letters while you think of it because I think I know where I can sell one. Sincerely, Charles H- Senator Philip Hart The U.S. Senate Washington, D.C. Dear Senator Hart : Have a bubble gum. I became a brother this morning. Arthur A 14 Family Wttkly, Jim 1, lt3 Iiterpleo' (raa te beet. "He te hi a Cemtrv, ftc.i Hie, WrIM Tkelr Cwmm." poWIUiee br " rreit, CoeyrlsM e 163 by Harold Dm, NI.Xrotl.nl (Oeyrlehl I'M by Syo1 Ho congressmen and embarrassingly truthful Senator Clair Engle The Senate Washington, D.C. Dear Senator Engle; I paid Timmy the .271 I owed him so dont forget to minus it from the national debt. David J Senator Thomas Dodd US Senate " Washington, DC. Dear Senator Dodd, Oughtn't you to know that Jan keeps her fingers crossed when she sings the Star-Spangled Banner? Diana B Senator Carl Curtis Nebraska Section Congress, Washington Dear Senator Curtis, Congratulate me! Really it is because of you I won tho. We had a game in school today to see who could guess a senator from Kansas and I won. I said you and since you are from Nebraska I was the closest. Thanks again, Maynard T Senator William Proxmire Wash. D.C. Dear Senator Proxmire: I would like to visit the senate but is it like visiting a doctor and would I have to take everything off? Respectfully, George B Illinois representative House of representatives Washington, D.C. Dear Sir: Mrs. Howell has been explaining you to us but don't worry anyway because we are all below 21. Kim W Congressman Morris Udall House of representatives Congress Dear Congressman Udall : Are you a democrat or a republican so I can know who the mean ones aren't? Abbie T Senator Kenneth Keating Washington Dear Senator Keating, Send me all the information you have on proper manners and don't think it is my idea. Freddie G ... W MM Congressman John Dent Washington Dear Congressman Dent : I am a future inventor. Tell me some of the inventions of the future so I can start on them now. v JeffR Senator Edward Long Washington, D.C. Dear Senator Long: Stop reading your icky letters and get to work. Walter B family Wat kill, Juna , IN) SARAKA SOLVES THE PROBLEM OF "AFTER 45" IRREGULARITY Doctor-approved buik stimulant helps keep you comfortably on schedule as no ordinary laxative can! As we grow older, our systems may often need outside aid to help maintain a normal regularity pattern. Continued use of strong drug laxatives can be irritating, even dangerous. That's why many doctors recommend SARAKA, the pure, all-vegetable bulk stimu lant laxative for middle age and over. SARAKA supplies the moist, bland bulk that is so essential to healthy bowel function. And only SARAKA has a gentle stimulant action to help ease this bulk through your system plus Vitamin B,. SpecM note to weight watchers i Lack of suf ficient bulk in 900 calorie liquids can lead to constipation. If this occurs, supplement your daily diet with all-vegetable SARAKA. Cat Ywr Own CirshMiit Fast Pttstar Ti Right Sin, Skip Far Fast Rtttf I GET EXTRA PROTECTION WHEREVER FEET HURTI When ahoaa pinch or nib. cuahian feet with Dr. Scholl'a K urates. Thicker, aofter, more protective- than ordinary moleekin yet cost no mora. Easy to cut to riaht aiae. . ahape. Faat. comfortini relief for coma, callouaaa. buniona. ' Miatera, chafing-. Water-repellent. 19, 40. SO. At all atom. 77 I 1 ,aAnA FEET HURT? J 1 NEW INSTANTLY ACTIVE FOItMULA Better ThanCalaminePrepararjons for Relief of Irritated Itchy Skin f Don't be tormented by maddening itch of red, swelling, irritated skin. New Calamalum ointment relieves itch fast, helps prevent the spread of skin irritation far belter than jusl calamine preparations. What't more, relief lasts longer because Calamalum forms Us own medicated bandore thai won't rub off till it's washed off. Only new Calamalum combines six anli-itch medications recommended by doctors for fast relief. Result? Calamalum instantly soothes red, ir ritated skin, aids healing. For hours of relief of itch due to heat rash, non-poisonous insect bites, minor skin irritations, poison ivy or oak, allergy or nerves, ask for Cala malum today. At all drug counters. lOS tlOOINt PHARMACAL CORF.. OOVtR, OIL, WW- Don't be a litterbugl Drop every litter bit in the litter basket. Carry a litter bag in your car. That's how you can help KEEP AMERICA CLEAN AND BEAUTIFUL! HIP ONLY 4 y"' STEARNS' immi niciw ran a.. Paso i. n art mm rtwnMt.ara at fas ackst of Hff eietft. manf. SdMt rMk oot MOWrl MosiltwoT SeMfl tor FKti tOOK M M erlnf trrt rut m tnM mam km W.r. VIMOSM oaaar ISa W. CM lopi Awe. CWooso AMERICA'S GREATEST ASSET America Itself waa an idea and, through ideas, rose to leadership in industry, science and world af fairs. But shortages threaten our fountain of Ideas higher educa tion. Colleges need more facilities and top-notch teachers. College is America's best friend. Give to the college of your choice. m ' m m m mi .You fflav need world- famoui DeWju's Pills with iheir potiiive analgesic action for fail rciiei oi symptomatic paint in oaci. join is and mutcics. Mildly dm retic Dew, if, pitli also help flush out iroumcmiRing acta wanes, increase Kidney activity, ana reduce minor Mad der irritations. Thousands depend on lkwiii ruts i or more resttui nights and sclivt livea with freedom from pain.