Quips
and
Dear Mr. Pickl Packer
The pickles, Sir, which bear your label
Are omnipresent on my table.
Their form and color, I attest,
Would rival Grannie's at her best.
All nestled there within the jar,
A perfect masterpiece they are.
In fact, at our house children cry
To taste your pickles. So do I.
So sometime, Sir, perhaps you'll stop off
And show me how to GET THE TOP OFF.
Belly Billipp
A little girl, visiting her grandmother, wanted to help
cook dinner. "I've watched Mommy, and I know all about
it," she said confidently.
"Well," said the grandmother, "what about the dials
do you know what they are for?"
"Sure," the girl replied. "Mommy twists them to get
low, medium, high, and burn." James Shurluck
Tho Vigor of Spring
To cultivate a vegetable garden
Taket a lot of time and labor;
Pd rather live next door to one
And cultivate my neighbor.
Ernest Blevint
The city family was looking forward to renting a sum
mer home up in the mountains and was corresponding with
a property owner who had his house up for rent "Before
we agree," the head of the family wrote, "you must assure
us that your house has a good view."
"From the porch," came the reply, "you can see Mat
thew's service station and the Perkins' farm, but other
than that there's not much but mountains and lakes to
look at." V. D. Palat
Pity the poor bachelor the only wallet pictures he has
to show are those of Lincoln, Hamilton, and Jackson.
Ivern Boyett
Dad was trying to get his indolent son to take ROTC
courses at the university, but he was encountering stub
born opposition. "This is the type of training that separ
ates the boys from the men !" the father said in a clinch
ing argument.
"Yeah," agreed the youth, dismally, "and the boys from
the girls." Robert Hearn
modern
TUMS
taste as good as they make you feel!
CMtkllJ
Great taste!
Tums let you enjoy good
flavor and great acid indi
gestion relief at the same
time. Try modern Tums de
lightful minty fresh taste
so cool and crisp and
never a trace of unpleasant
aftertaste.
Great relief!
Modern Tums now bring better than ever fast, effec
tive, long-lasting relief from acid indigestion,
heartburn and gas! Tums exclusive formula
with scientific buffering action promptly
neutralizes excess acids and soothes the f x. h
stomach by gently coating the stomach
lining. Get I ums greol relief ,
taste soon.'
Always carry TUMS for the tummy." f
Taste as good.
as they make you feel!
1 iiut
t J 1
" - w ;
u m m m m wm am m
Modern Tums
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431
"For a dime I'll remind him
Friday's your birthday."
SSSs
"For two bits I'll tell you something that will keep you
out of the doghouse Friday."
J
famty Weekly, May i, 1M1