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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 29, 1962)
WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 29, 1362 A 7 FAMILY COUNCIL Norbert T. - She's all I have, and she has no time for me! Terry T.V. - He forgets that I have a home and a job to attend to. i:4 ". MLDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE. MEDFOHD. OREGON J- I A k If if n W rr FT krur rbi & w m sr rr war Mn. I Jw W: mUNIUUMbHY WAND OSl Norbert T. - I haven't seen my sister for a year. My work keeps me traveling. Bu' A'hen I wrote her. a month ago, that I'd arrive in her town now and be able to stay three weeks, she wrote back that she'd be too busy to spend much time with me. That's a nice reception, I must sav. from the only one I have left in the world. Just because a person is married, she shouldn't crowd out her own flesh and blood. I have married friends I can call on here, but that's not the same. It's funny, though, they have plenty of time to put at my disposal, family and all. It's only Terry whose whole world would fall apart I guess, if she took a few days off for her brother. Terry T.U. - Has a brother the right to expect his mar ried sister to fill all his family requirements? As a single fel low, Norbert has no idea of the demands made upon me by my husband, my home and my five youngsters. In addi tion, I'm a piano teacher in our neighborhood music school, and right now I'm in charge of our summer music festival. When a man hasn't married and has no wife and children to return to. a sister and her family can fill the bill a little. Norbert writes to me or calls me long distance, and I answer. He knows he's alwavs welcome for dinner, or to spend an evening. But I can I give him the 100 per cent at tention a family of his own could extend. I love mv brother, but my family and my job must come first. The Council: Woe is he who counts on others to "fill" his life. The crux of that state ment is "counts on," because it implies desperation. Nor bert's whole world oughtn't to be falling apart because his sister has urgent prior com mitments. Over 200 years ago the English dramatist, John Gay, wrote out a sentence which can serve as a useful answer to Norbert. "There is no dependence that can be sure." he said in a letter to Jonathan Swift, "except de pendence upon one's self." In the normal course of events a man usually strikes out to create a new family, his own. In clinging to his childhood family, his sister, Norbert cannot expect the same response as he'd be en titled to if he turned to a group he himself had es tablished. For Terry, in turn, has become part of a brave new one herself now and, as she says, her husband and children and household com mitments must have first claim on her time and en ergies. Since she also holds an outside position, her freedom of action is indeed minimal, and Norbert should not add to her pressures by his self-pity and reproaches. Possibly nothing would please Norbert more than to have Terry still single and at his beck and call for com panionship and care. Evident ly he hasn't accepted the fact that marriage changes 'he availability, if not the affec tion, of one's brothers and sisters. This doesn't mean, how ever, that Terry shouldn't move heaven and earth - well, a rehearsal here and a birth day party there - to include Norbert on as many of her appointed rounds as possible during his precious three weeks of being in or near her bailiwick. Who knows hut that he'll be a godsend when there are six important er rands to perform and only two adults on tap to attempt them? Maybe he'd love being asked whether the Nocturne for Two Pianos should be retained for the concert, or scratched. Loyalties exert pulls on us all. In order to function effec tively, we must "graduate" those pulls in terms of their rightful place in our lives. Norbert must concede the pri orities Terry points out to him. DHUV U-W Sea Wafer Contains Enerqy, Exoert Says Baltimore. 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