Quips
and
Quotes
Pet Peeve
Our neighbors call their children in
Whenever I stroll by;
They aren't allowed to speak to me,
But aren't told quite why.
It's not that I have chicken pox
' Or that I'll steal their mittens;
The parents know (and fear)
this fact
Our cat has had more kittens.
Dick EmmoiM
Dad awoke to find his persistent
four-year-old standing next to his bed.
"I wanna shine your shoes for Father's
Day," the boy said. Dad thanked him
but declined the offer.The determined
youngster could not be dissuaded,
however.
"Oh, go ahead and let him shine
them," the mother said. "He only
wants to do something for you."
Outvoted, the father saw his shoes
disappear and then, 15 minutes later,
reappear a glistening black. "See what
a beautiful job he did," the mother
said proudly. "You never saw a shine
like that before 1"
"Nope," the father replied, "and
especially on my brown shoes!"
John Shotwell
Complete Coverage
When we bought a new car, we chose
Super de Luxe,
Though the price was considerably
higher.
And why? The upholstery, smart as a
tux,
Showed the skill of the weaver and
dyer.
Then we put on seat covers before it
was eve,
Quite cheap ones with hideous tints
(Our cash being sadly depleted), and
we've
Not seen our upholstery since.
Richard Armour
jh 6
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9H
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Trad-nMrtia,AUaa"Rff. U.S. rat. Off.O 1901, AtUs Supply Co., Nrwu I, NJ.
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All his Ijfe, he had been fighting his
way up the ladder of success, a crude
but aggressive businessman. At last
he had enough money to take it easy
and live the life of a gentleman.
His wife was particularly anxious to
climb into the stratum of high society,
and she gave intimate dinners for the
best people in town.
One evening a local dowager arrived
for dinner and was ushered into the
stylish living room. The husband
started to rise to greet the guest.
"Oh, don't get up," the society wom
an protested.
The wife interrupted immediately.
"Let him alone," she exclaimed. "He's
just learning!" Dan Bennett
At long last, the June wedding was
over, and the bride's mother and fa
ther dragged themselves home, ex
hausted by months of preparation. The
husband headed right for bed, but his
wife turned on a reading lamp and
settled down with a book.
"Don't tell me you're going to read
now," the husband said.
His wife nodded. "This is the first
chance I've had to read this book and
find out what the bride's mother is
supposed to do at the wedding."
R. N. Bauman
Too many girls think a woman's
work is done when she sweeps down an
aisle. - Frances Benson
Here Comes the Hero
By Jack Tippit
i
Family Weekly, Junt 17, 1962
family Weekly, June 17, 1962