Quips and Quotes
Best-Laid Plans
Plan a picnic at the lake;
Fry a chicken, bake a cake.
Plan a weekend motor trip;
Have the ear checked, pack a grip.
Plan a vitit out of elate;
Make arrangement, choote a date.
Then, whatever day you pick,
That' i the day the kids get tick! '
Suaanne Douglat
Two wild-eyed beatniks were talking about what
they would like to be if they had a choice. "If I had
my way," said one, 'Td like to play third base for
the New York Yankees!"
"Why third base?" asked the other beat '
"Well, just picture 60,000 fans some Sunday, and
me on third. Bases are loaded, and Colavito doubles
to left One run scores, two runs score! Then the
throw comes to me. But I hold the ball. The third
run scores, and Colavito crosses the plate!
"Imagine those 60,000 fans screaming 'You
idiot! You crazy fool!' That's what I want most
recognition.'" Harry Ramsey
"Now there's a shirt that would be hard to iron,
A social worker who was in charge of
prisoner welfare at the city jail began to feel
sorry for one inmate. Every evening most of
the prisoners received visitors, but day after
day passed while this offender sat alone in
his cell
One visiting period, the worker sat beside
the man and said, "I notice you never have
any callers. Don't you have any friends or
family?"
"Oh, sure," the prisoner said, brightening.
"Come on around to the other cells and 111
introduce you!"
Conscience it that small ttill voice that
fell you what other people ehould do.
Jim Harget
Discipline in the large family was becom
ing progressively worse, so the harried
mother gathered her brood together and
presented a plan: "I'm going to keep a daily
record of the behavior of each of you. On
Saturday, the member of the family who has
been most obedient will get a reward."
"That't not fair!" one of the youngsters
shouted. "Daddy will win it every time.'"
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Family Weekly, May 1. 1MI
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