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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 2, 1961)
THURSDAY. FEBRUARY 2. 1961 MEDFCED MAIL TRIBUNE, MEDFORD. ORE. Family Council Editor'! Note: Tht ramlljr Coun cil consists of a Judte, a psychia trist, thr.e clergymen, a newipaper editor, a women's editor ana iw writers. Each article It a lummarj of an actual case history The Council reports on problems that have been dealt with by responsible agencies and counselors. Carl E. - Mavis wants a long engagement. If she really . loves me, why the wait? , Mavis R. - We need time to know each other better, and understand each other's needs. '.. ' Carl E. - After Mavis said "yes" to me, she seemed to have second thoughts about our marriage. There's no good reason why we can't be mar ried in a few weeks, but she wants to sot the date for eight months off. She thinks we'll know each other better then. . But how much more can we learn , about each other that way? From what I've seen of engagements, she and I and our families will all be polite and on . our best be havior. I'm sure Mavis loves me and I'm sure I love her. And I'm Just as sure we can't learn anything more about each other than we know now, until we set up our own home . and get down to everyday married life. . Of course, I'll agree to her wishes. So right there she's learning something about me. I'm a softie when it comes to her. e Mavis R. - I think an en gagement is a wonderful pe- riod and I don't want to skip It. It will give Carl and me an opportunity to get used to being together a lot. We can really concentrate on each other, without the distractions of housekeeping and bills and responsibilities. And it's a time for light-hearted fun and celebrating - the sort of gai ety we may never get a chance at again. Carl is 27 and I'm 21. met two summers ago as coun cillors at neighboring camps From being mere acquaint ances and friends, suddenly we have become lovers and prospective mates. I feel that calls for an in-between period of getting used to the Idea, of making absolutely sure It's the real thing. ; There are so many little things to Iron out, and it's easier to deal with them o fore marriage. I don't know Carl's favorite color, for ex ample, and he doesn't know I tune in to a 3 a.m. radio programl v I The Council! Mavis is right In asking for a solid chunk of time in which to be en gaged. But Carl Is right in reminding her that, due to the best foot-forward stance, there are many thing about each other they won't know until they've settled down for the long haul after the. honey moon. So the question is: What can an engagement accom plish? (As to its length, Mavis might match Carl's yielding ness and shorten the eight month stretch.) Let's skip dis cussing the fluff of it all the parties, showers, trousseau-shopping which offer a once-ln-a-lifetime whirl for Mavis. What long-range bene fits? First, they can take a long, hard look at each other in varied settings, different sea sons, and under broad - day light stresses as well as whis pering pines. How does Carl take sudden disappointment? How does Mavis react to un fair provocation? The rose colored glasses may still be worn, but more of the true nature of the prospective mate can be observed than was possible in the moonlight at camp, or the fraternity ban quet at the Waldorf.' , Then, there's time for work ing out a broad blueprint for the merger. Mavis and Carl did not grow up next-door. Each must learn and try to fit Into the other's "way of life." This takes a lot of find-lng-out, and It must precede such decisions as Where to live, What furniture to buy, Who handles the money, How about in-laws, etc. Each says: "I'm this way. I can change a little. What crotchets shall I give up for the great ad vantage of a shared life?" Thus, engagement can make this pair more sure of their love. If, perchance, it works the other way, what a bless ing to avoid the lacerating heartbreak of a miserable mar riage! (A free pamphlet, "Be fore You Marry," is helpful It is available from The Amer ican Institute of Family Rela tions, S287 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles 27, Calif.) Will he love her In Decem ber as in the month of May? Mavis wants an engagement to find out. . r ITQ 1 u u la fu ITU E ul SWIFT'S PREMIUM - Tender Grown Fryers, Tray Pack, Pan Ready Cut Upi 1-lb. 8-or. average. Stock up your freezer at this Special Low Price. 0 ea. Pork Shoulder mm Lean, meaty blade cuts. Tender young pork Fresh Pork Hocks Pork Roast LAMB SHOULDER ROAST Lots of Lean Tender Meat. Cut up, ready for the kettle ). lb. 19' 37' - Round bone cut. Well trimmed. Eastern Porkers Swift Premium, Tender AA Tasty and Nutritious.. ..LB. jjlwU British Railway's "Brlsto Han" covers the 118 miles from Bristol to London at an average speed of more than 70 miles per hour. 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