Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 15, 1961)
M, Quips and, Jf, Quotes Narrow-Minded Man ITicnei'pr my husband Must shovel the sidewalk, We always end up With a one-shovel-wide walk. Hal Chadwick k kj v. v. The solemn ceremonies for the inauguration of the President of the United States on television held the entire family's attention except for the very active four-year-old who played uncon cernedly in an adjoining room. Then the band struck up "The Star-Spangled Banner." The youngster rushed into the living room and took his place before the TV set. "Gee," he explained, "I didn't know they were going to start to play a ball game, too." Frances Benson Guess I'll Never Learn Whenever I get a new outfit, I pose before my mate And ask if he has noticed anything New about me of late. Slowly he lowers his paper And, inevitable a fate, Mumbles, "Hmmmm, since you mentioned it, Aren't you putting on weight?" v Suzanne Douglass Where a lot oj men lose control oj their car is in front of a finance company. Al Spong A successful executive had to take an unex pected business trip which interfered with his wife's plans for their wedding anniversary. "Don't worry," the businessman said. "If I can't get home in time, I'll send you something to prove my love." When he found he would be unable to return, he wired his wife that he had splurged and bought her two expensive presents that she would never think of buying for herself a Mercedes-Benz and a Picasso. Later he telephoned her to ask if they had arrived. "One did," the wife said sadly. "Which one?" "Who knows?" the wife sighed. Dan Bennett A Texan was playing poker with a Briton, and the Briton drew a good card. "One pound," he said. "I don't know how you-all count your money," the Texan grumbled, "but I raise you a ton." INTERN REVEN 1 CfM "I have an fippoiiiliiiuiil to be chuvved out by a Mr. Finby." !HiiiHI!li!HHi!UiHU:::HSHHSniiHi!HHMi!iiHHi:iiHHsss: 1 MILLION PERSONS 65 AND OVER! Martha Nickell got $862.00. Age 76, Beaver Dam, Wise. "My faith has been justified. I received prompt payment and just consideration." Gordon E. Plumbley got $702.63. Age 73, Blooming dale, N. Y. "Little did I know I would be taken with a heart attack just 28 days after I purchased this coverage!" Harry E. Bauer received a total of $1,628.88. Age 72, Santa Cruz, Calif. "I feel this is the answer to guarding against high cost of hospital and medi cal care." "HOW TO LIVE LONGER... and have more vigor and vitality in the GOLDEN YEARS!" FREE! Valuable health guide by Dr. Lester M. Morrison and Dr. John A. Schindler, shows you how to build your health with n scientific program of nutrition and emo tional power! How to protect your heart. How to make your arteries younger! How to feel better, more vigor, more vitality. Especially prepared for folks 65 and over! Shows you how to help kick health worry and problems out of your life! Add years to your life and life to your years! MUTUAL BENEFIT HEALTH & ACCIDENT ASSOCIATION HOME OFFICE OMAHA, NEBRASKA HOW YOURS FREE just forfilling-in and mail ing coupon! NO POST AGE needed! no en velope needed! Just seal and mail today. Or write Mutual of Omaha, Senior Secu rity Division, Omaha, Nebraska. PRESIDENT Company in the World . . . Licensed by Insurance Over 325 local offices to serve you everywhere! Now Use New Postage-Paid, Self-Addressed Coupon Todayl MUTUAL OF OMAHA Dept. 1621 Senior Security Division Omaha, Nebraska I am 65 or older. Please rush facts about low-cost Senior Security Policy available in my state, and my free health guide "how to live longer." I am under 65. Please rush information about other Mutual of Omaha policies. Nam . . . AdaVvn. (Pot Print) CHy. Fold along line Staple or Tape al bottom . and mail! NO POSTAGE NEEDED! " FIRST CLASS P.rmll No. 50 Omaha Nebraska BUSINESS REPLY MAIL No petfaB itamp nctuy M mailed In Ih United Slat. Postage will be paid by . Mutual OF OMAHA OMAHA NEBRASKA
