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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (June 23, 1960)
THURSDAY, JUNE 23, 1960 MEDFORD MAIL, TRIBUNE, MEDFORD, ORE. Family Council Storewide Savings on Timely Needs for Your Home and Family i Editor'! Note: The Family Coun , all consists of a Judge, a psychta. trlit, three clergymen, a newspaper i editor, a women'! editor and twt writer!. Each article l! a lummary I of an actual case history. The Council report! on problem! that have been dealt with by reiponlible agenclei and counselors- Linda T. I am so lonely. Mrs. E. T. She resents my help. Linda T. Mv problem is i: T 10 .J 1 . I luueiiiie&a. x am id nuu nave no real friends. I often cry my self to sleep and I take long, long walks by myself, trying to figure out how I can be come more popular. Recently I was crying my aelf to sleep when my mother came into my room. She ask ed why I was crying and I told her. Since then she has been trying to help me with the problem, but I wish she wouldn't. She only embarres ces me by trying to get some of the girls in the neighbor hood to take me into their crowd. I am considered quite pret ty and Intellgient. Is it pos sible that the girls don't like me because I'm too pretty and the boys don't because I'm too smart? Mm. E.T. It breaks my heart to see Linda so unhappy. I know what she is going through because I, too, had a very lonely youth. I had few friends or dates until my mid 208. I never formed a pleasant friendship with any male un til I met my husband and I didn't have good friends among women until after I was married. I expected different things of Linda because she was friendly and outgoing as a child. It's only in the past year that she has become so moody. I do believe the girls are Jealous of her because she is exceptionally pretty. Her high grades in school may well put off the boys. I only want to help her, yet she resents anything I try to do. . Th Council: Parents of teen-agers are put to some rugged tests. It is important for them to be very alert to what is going on with their youngsters, yet they should also use enough diplomacy to avoid probing or lending a hand when a policy or non interference is needed. Mrs. E. T. displays far too much anxiety about her daughter and has succeeded in convincing Linda that things are quite bad indeed. AMnallv a feeline of loneli ness is quite common in adol escence. It is the time when the child first sees himself emerging as an individual in the world. There is both joy and sadness in this recogni tion and most youngsters fight to preserve this sense of "aloneness" they also be moan. Many boys and girls with fairly active social lives feel very lonely at heart. Teen-agers often cry them selves to sleep for many vague reasons. A little parent al comforting is certainly not amiss, but it is poor policy to encourage this self-pity by giving it more status that it deserves. It would be far bet ter for the parent to take a cool, good-humored look at the situation and get the child 4n ronnaivf that if he has a real problem, he must take some active measures 10 soive It himself. In the realm of social rela tionships, it is quite futile for an adult to attempt to solve a child's problems. Children and adolescents deeply resent adult encroachments into this territory and will give a hard time to the child whose par ents try to push into the crowd. lrwrv tppn-naer can win ac ceptance into some group. It ! is mainly a matter or learning that they must contribute something and go out to oth ers not stand on the sidelines ,.,ollno in hp asked. Prcttiness and smartness have little to do with popularity, in social .pipiinnchina it's the ability iiirp others that counts most. This knack eliminates self-consciousness ana concern Ibout being liked. (Copyright 1960, Gtntral Features Corp.) 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