Medford mail tribune., April 24, 1960, Image 40

QUIPS
AND
QUOTES
IPIBIKDIg
VETO CREAM DEODORANT
SIZE QiVliTAx
y cream y deodorant I
SWITCH TO VETO!
Veto Cream at half price. . .limited time only!
Veto is the cream deodorant with the exclusive
two-way formula for double protection checks
odor and perspiration all day long. Use Veto
every day nothing protects like Veto.
Speed Demon
Our son has been giuen a speed-reading course,
Causing rate . and retention to soar.
Now he's able to read twice as fast twice as much
Of the trash he mas reading before.
Richard Armour
"We needed this,
That Green on
My Thumb Is Envy
Our radishes are puny things;
Our peas and beans are dying;
And as for the potatoes, toell,
The things aren't even trying.
And that's the toay our garden grows
I tell myse!, "Who needs it?"
But doun inside, it hurts to haue
It bite the hand that weeds it.
Francis O.Walsh
The wife came home from a social gath
ering looking worried. "Something wrong?"
asked her husband sympathetically.
"I was wondering . . . well, do you think
much of first impressions?"
"Certainly not," he replied emphatically.
"I pay no attention to them."
"That's good," the wife sighed, "because
you'll find one in the fender of our new car."
Charles Ruling
The grown-up coach of the neigh
borhood Little Leaguers took his job
with big-league seriousness. Through
early spring, he almost developed an
ulcer because some of his little
charges were missing at every prac
tice session.
Just before the season opened, he
assembled the team for a win-at-any-cost
lecture and wound up with
rousing praise of the one player
who had attended every practice.
"That's the spirit I demand," shouted
the would-be Casey Stengel. "Lit
tle Harvey here has shown the de
termination we need!"
"It's the least I could do, sir,"
Harvey interjected. "I won't be able
to make any of the games."
If your wife no longer gets suspi
cious when you come home late, it's
later than you think.
Harold Coffin
A recent immigrant, barely able
to read English, was very conscien
tious about his duties as an Ameri
can, and at income-tax time he
waited patiently in line at the office
of Internal Revenue to get instruc
tions about this difficult task.
"Now it's quite simple," a harassed
clerk said wearily. "Just take home
the material I'm giving you, fill
out step by step, and mail it in
Next, please. ..."
The immigrant looked at the mass
of forms in his hand, shrugged, and
marched home to carry out the in
structions. It took some time, but he
filled in every square and proudly
mailed it back. Shortly, he got a
letter from the bureau:
"Congratulations. Vou have passed
the examination as revenue agent,
first class, and should report to the
chief of this office at ..."
Len Womack
VETO SPRAY... NOW Mtt PRICE", TOO!
192 size only 50 plus tax.
Family Weekly, ApHl 24, I MR)