Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989, February 07, 1960, Image 4

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Medford mail tribune., February 07, 1960, Image 4

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Newspaper Page TextI I MAIL TRIBUNE, Medford, Or. Sunday, Feb. 7, 1960 MEDF0RI)&TRIBU1 "Ivervone In Southern Oregon Reads The Mail Tribune" published Daily except Saturday by 33 North Fir St.. Ph SP 2-6141 5aeV Tax Objections Dennis the Menace " ROBERT W. RUHL. Editor HERB GREY Advertising Manager GERALD T LATHAM. Bus. Mgr. ERIC W. ALLEN JR.. Mng. Editor EAKL a. uAjvia. nty Editor TTARHY CHIPMAN. Telee. Editor RICHARD JEWETT. SDorts Editor OLIVE STARCHER. Women's Editor DALE EKICKSON. Circulation Mgr An IndeDendent Newsnaner Entered as second class matter at Aieaiora. uregon. under Act of March 3. 1897 SUBSCRIPTION RATES By Mail In Advance. Copv 10c Daily and Sunday 1 year $15.00 Daily and Sunday 6 mos. 8.00 Daily and Sunday 3 mos. 4.25 Sunday Only One year $4.20 By Carrier Tn Advance Medford Ashland. Central Point Eagle Point. Jacksonville. Gold Hill, Phoenix. Shady Cove. Rogue Riv er. Talent and on motor routes. Daily and Sunday 1 year S18 00 Daily and Sunday 1 mo. 1.50 Carrier and Dealers copy 10c All Terms Cash in Advance Official Paperof "CitiT of Medford Official Paper of Jackson County United Press International Full Leased Wire UP.1. Telephoto Newspictures MEMBER "P AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATIONS Advertising Reoresentative: WEST HOLIDAY CO.. INC. Of fice in New York. Chicago. De. troit. San Francisco. Los Angeles, Seattle. Portland. St. Louis. At lanta. Vancouver. B.C. NATIONAL newspaper publishers association' EDITORIAl AscgmQh Flight o' Time Medford and Jackson County History from the files of The Mail Tribune 10, 20. 30, 40 and 50 years ago. to YEARS AGO Feb. 7. 1950 (Tuesday) Congressman Harris Ells worth believes no action on DroDosed Rogue basin recla mation project will be taken by Congress this year. Mickey Cohen's Los An geles home blown up by 24 sticks of dynamite; Cohen es capes injury- 20 YEARS AGO Feb. 7. 1940 (Wednesday) Medford Mayor C. C. Fur nas says because of increasing alarm over traffic accidents he is serving warning to all citizens that traffic regula tions will be "strictly" en forced here. From Arthur Perry's "Ye Smudge Pot" column: "Mos cow denies Finnish reports of victories, capture of guns, tanks, planes and prisoners and still insists she is not at war with Finland. However, it is cheerfully admitted there Is such a place as Finland." 30 YEARS AGO Feb. 7. 1930 (Friday) Gov. A. W. Norblad will address the Lincoln Day ban quet here next week. Dedication of airport de pends on city purse; pageant planned if it doesn't cost too much. 40 YEARS AGO Feb. 7. 1920 (Sunday) Local Methodist are unde cided upon a site for pro posed church. ' Only .42 inch of rain fell here last month, the lowest on record. 50 YEARS AGO Feb. 7. 1910 (Monday) Medford boys dies as re sult of college hazing at U. of O. G. F. Cuthbert and Co. will open a furniture and home furnishings store in tempor ary quarters at Main st. and Riverside ave. The battle of the taxes, which has made con siderable noise the last few weeks, will get loud er and louder as the 1961 session of the state legislature approaches. - Ray Schumacher, Jackson county assessor, recently made his entry into the lists with the aistiiDunon oi a iive-pomt program wnicn ne feels will make state and local taxation more equitable. It calls for the enactment of a sales tax limited to school support. Meanwhile, the Democratic party in its Salem platform convention reiterated its opposition to a sales tax. fN A NUMBER of occasions the people of the state have voted down a sales tax. They might do so agan. Or, if property and income taxes get too onerous, they might just vote for a sales tax next time, provided it promies a certain measure of relief from property and income taxation. In any event, the battle is sure to continue raging in the months to come. As a prelude to this, it might be constructive to review the reasons why so many people are so strongly opposed to a sales tax opposition which is often pooh-poohed or misunderstood. pLARENCE BARTON, state representative from Coos county, voiced the antis' arguments cogently at the Democratic convention. The prime reason for opposition, of course, is that it hurts most those least able to pay thus negating the idoa that those making more money should pay more taxes than those making less. State Sen. Monroe Sweetland is quoted by Barton as saying: "It (the sales tax) falls heaviest upon those who are least able to pay. The sales tax takes more money from the family in the $2,000 bracket. The sales tax takes more mony from an extra $100 earned by that family compared to the family in the $200,000 bracket that happens to earn an extra $100." ". . . At any given income level the famiiy with the greatest number of children or other dependents will have to pay the highest taxes." l VOtir THINK HlS AtoUTH IS SO . Matter of Fact ey Joseph Alsop What's Your I.Q.7 Nine or ten correct is superior; seven or eight is excellent; five or six is good. 1. Which of these animals has the most valuable pelt sea lion or sea otter- 2. A rowboat and its oars cost $110; the boat cost $100 more than the oars. How much did the oars cost? 3. On what river is Muscle Shoals? 4. What are the names of the four oceans whose names end in "ic"? 5. Which New England State produces the largest amount of. maple sugar and syrup? 6. If you desire to exert greater force with a screw drive, will you use one with a greater length or diameter? 7. Of what country is Ot towa the capital? 8. In what sport was Ty Cobb famous? 9. In what group of Pacific islands is Saipan? 10. Is the condor a native bird of South America, or of North America? Answers: 1. Sea otter. 2. Five dollars. 3. Tennessee River. 4. Atlantic. Pacific, Arctic, Antarctic. 5. Vermont, 6. Larger diameter. 7. Cana da. 8. BasebalL 9. Marianas. 10 South America. A RGUMENTS secondary to the "unfair" aspect "of the sales tax cited by Barton include these: It would bring in far less from out-of-state tourists than most people realize, since their maior expenditures already are for gasoline and housing. The first is already taxed; the second is exempt under most sales tax plans. The tax (like all taxes) is paid from incomes, and therefore doesn t represent a new tax base at all; it only shifts the major tax burden from those who can afford to pay to those who can t, It would "broaden the base" of tax payments, all nght, to include those least able to pay. DARTON also disputes the frequent allegation that a sales tax would improve the "business climate" in the state, claiming, to the contrary, that a 3 per cent levy on all new equipment, mate rials and goods, would be 'a strong deterrent to new industry. Barton said the tax would call for "the crea tion or addition of another state agency ... to go out and go through every retail store and check the books to see whether each business is collecting the amount of sales tax they should . . . While it is said food and other necessities will be exempt, Barton points experience in other states indicates this is a foot-m-the-door" propo sition. He says: "Of the 34 states that have a sales tax at the present time, only nine remain that still have food exempt, only seven remain that have medicine exempt, and only three have clothing exempt." AND in another "ability-to-pay" argument, he "... Such extras as lawyers fees, trips to the beauty parlor, golf fees, purchase of stocks and bonds and numerous other luxury items, especially services, have not beea subjected to a sales tax. This means that the people in the upper income brackets con tribute a much smaller portion of their income to state government compared to the people in the lower income brackets." JOSEPH ALSOP Finally, he says: "I believe that we can write the income tax to do whatever the people of Oregon want it to do, and raise the amount of revenue that we need. I believe that any steps that we might take toward bringing a sales tax to the state of Oregon violates our stand ards of justice and fair play, and wholly ignores the responsibilities we have to one another as citizens." THESE, we believe, are a fair summary of the And, although" one can, perhaps, quarrel with one or two of the presuppositions underlying the arguments, they add up to a fairly impressive case against this tax. However, as remarked, the time may come when the people of Oregon will accept the draw backs of the sales tax in order to avoid even more serious drawbacks of growing income and prop erty taxation particularly the property tax, which no longer is an "ability to pay" tax. The "ideal" tax, of course, is the one that someone else pays. And there ain't no such animal. E.A. THE DULLES TESTIMONY Washington-The hard, dis turbing facts and figures' in the testimony of the Director of the Central Intellig e n c e Agency, Allen W. Dulles, be fore the Sen- ate Space Commitee, can now.be rev ealed on undoubted au thority. In brief, C I. A. Director Dulles told the committee that the American government expected the So viet Union to have 35 inter continental ballistic missiles "on launchers" by the end of June this year. He stated that the Soviets would further be expected to have some 140 to 200 ICBMs operational by mid-1961. He gave the estimate that the Soviets "probably" have two factories, turning out bal listic missiles at this time uut ne aaaea tnat one or both of these factories may still be devoted, in cart or in whole, to the production . j . i. . oi intermediate range mis siles. Finally, C. I. A. Director Dulles admitted that these es timates, though used by the U.S. government for planning purposes, were only the best estimates that could be made on the basis of the fragmen tary known facts. They had no claim, he said, to micro- metric accuracy. If the esti mates were erroneous, he further admitted, they might as easily err on the low side as on the high side. HHHREE points of the highest significance are implied by this testimony of the C. I. A. director. His estimates show, first of all, what kind of ICBM lead the American government now thinks the Soviets have. By next June, when the Soviets are expect ed to have 35 ICBMs "on launchers," we should have two operational Atlas squad rons, or a total of 18 ICBMs ready to fire. By June, 1961, when the Soviets are expect ed to have 140 to 200 ICBMs "on launchers," we should have five . operational Atlas squadrons plus one Titan squadron, or a total of 54 ICBMs ready to fire. Second, the Dulles esti mates explain both the business-as-usual defense budget and the complacent justifica tion of that budget by Secre tary of Defense Thomas S. Gates and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Nathan Twining. If the estimates are indeed micrometrically correct, as Secretary Gates and General Twining assume, the Soviets do not now have the number of ICBMs they need to wipe out the American nuclear de terrent. Furthermore, our in coming ICBM squadrons win multiply the targets the So viets must destroy more rap idly than the Soviets are ex pected to multiply their stock of operational ICBMs. THIS is because three So viet ICBM firings are need ed to give the Kremlin 95 per cent assurance of destroying one of our ICBMs in a "soft" launching site. Thus, even in the case of missiles in soft pads, each American ICBM that becomes operational cre ates a requirement for three more Soviet ICBMs in "hard" pads; and the Titan squadron that should become operation al by mid-1961 will be fully "hardened." For these reasons, if the estimates are precisely, accu rate; and if there is no slip page in the scheduled activa tion of the American ICBM squadrons, there will be no moment when the Kremlin can risk a nuclear strike at the United States. For if the Soviets do not accumulate ICBMs more rapidly than the estimates allow, they will never have enough to take out the whole target system presented by the American nuclear deterrent. And thus they will never have enough ICBMs to avert an American counterstrike that would de stroy the Soviet Union. Third, however, the Dulles testimony clearly reveals the absolute reliance of the Eisen hower administration policy makers on the micrometric precision of the intelligence estimates-which C. I. A. Di rector Dulles says cannot be micrometrically precise. rro ILLUSTRATE, the bril- liant Strategic Air Com mander, Gen. Thomas Power, has repeatedly stated that the Soviets can now "wipe out' our nuclear deterrent with only 150 ICBMs, plus the same amount of IRBMs, which they are known to have in ample quantities. The esti mates give the Soviets only 35 operational ICBMs by the middle of this year. By then, the complete activation of the first two Atlas squadrons will increase the Soviet re quirement, as figured by Gen eral Power, to something like 180 ICBMs. : The margin may appear to be ample, but it is really in credibly narrow. Our own Atlas ICBM plant is capable of turning out no less than 15 missiles per month, on three shifts, and on its single pro duction line. This capacity output has never been at tained because of business-as- usual budget making, but the possibility of this kind of At las output has existed for over a year. Thus ten months of capacity output by the At las plant equals the present Soviet ICBM requirement as stated by General Power. C.I.A. Director Dulles has now testified that the Soviets "probably" have, not one, but two missile plants in produc tion at present. Either, or both, of these plants may have, not one business-as-usual production line like the Atlas plant, but two ' lines in three-shift production. That sort of situation in at least one' plant was implied by Ni- kita S. Khrushchev's recent boast, that he had inspected a soviet factory wnicn pro duced no less than 250 "rock ets" last year. The word 'rockets" was used in a con text that seemed to indicate "intercontinental rockets," of which Khrushchev had just been speaking. Thus the chance of error in the esti mate can hardly be excluded Yet the whole outlook would be hideously trans formed by the most trifling error in the American intelli gence estimates-a mere er ror, for example, concernmg the actual moment when one or both of the Soviet rocket plants began production of ICBMs for operational pur OOVIET IRBM stocks were estimated to Be . ampie for the target available as long as a year ago. If both Soviet plants were then con verted from IRBM to ICBM production, the Soviets could now have far more than their basic requirement, as stated by General Power. And they would have this requirement even after allowing most gen erously for diversion of So viet ICBMs for tests, into satellites, and so on. In fact, if both the two "probable" Soviet rocket plants began producing oper ational ICBMs at Khrush chev's rate just four months ago, the Kremlin would now have the ICBM requirement stated by General Power. This kind of error of a mere four months is vastly less, in turn, than the recurring opti: mistic errors in earlier na tional estimates. These have averaged a good two years. . These facts, in turn, explain why General Power has been pressing so hard for a max imum airborne alert of his Communications Letters to the Editor must bear the name and address ot the writer, although under certain circumstances the use ot a pen name or initial for publication is permissible. The Mail Tribune reserves the right to edit all letters with a view to clarification and condensation. Letters submitted for publication must not exceed 400 words. The letters printed in this column do not necessarily represent the views ot the paper; in fact the contrary is often the case. Send Her a Card To the Editor: In Sacred Heart hospital, Room 310, lies a beautiful young girl, a vic tim of a cruel and tragic ac cident in California last week. Seven months ago, she was a beautiful young bride, to day, nothing, only a hospital bed with each leg in a cast and also her right arm. She has many months in the hospital and she needs all the kindness and love everyone can give her. So, dear friends, where ever you are, whether you know her or not, send Elaine a get-well card. Let us shower her with cards. A card costs so little and means so much, especial ly to one in the hospital. Do it today, don't delay. She lost her husband, her car, her glasses and her wrist watch. So you see, dear friends, she needs your love through cards. Send your cards and loving throughts to Elaine Griffiths Room 310 Sacred Heart Hospital Medford, Ore. Next time, it might be your daughter. Mrs. Burton Green 2411 Sunset Court Medford, Ore. Moved to Poetry (?) To .the Editor: Seldom, in this hard-working world, does one encounter anything which inspires the soul to poetry, but your editorial of Feb. 3, wherein you quoted one Mr. Howard Gossage on the sub ject of the irritating and ob jectionable encroachment of the billboard upon our land scape and field of vision, cre ated such a glow of enthusias tic accord that only joetry(?) will suffice to express the gratitude of this subscriber, upon the discovery that "we are not alone.": Billboards, ranged in bright array, What's behind your faces gay? Serpent's Pits, and Dining Inn, Or mountains white and forests green? Blatant, rowdy advertiser, Would that you could be made wiser - We'd buy the milk from Zilch's dairy, Take the pills our druggists carry, Eat that loaf of quick nutri tion, Vote for yon grim politician, Smoke that tar-fresh, filter ed weed, Dunk the doughnut, plant the seed Buy the paint and paint the town - If you'd just take those... Billboards down! Mrs. W. L. Neece Gold Hill, Ore. Guild Head's Views To the Editor: Why are the editors, reporters and photog raphers of the Portland News paper Guild supporting the Stereotypers' strike against The Oregonian and the Ore gon Journal? For two mam reasons. We believe the position of the Stereotypers morally justified, We believe our unity with our fellow workers in the "back shop" necessary to preserve all of our unions and the pro tections they have given us from destruction. Our decision was not lightly made. The Guild fuUy explor ed the issues of the dispute and found most of them to be "straw men" raised by the publishers. - Management's negotiators had given the craft union the run-around in 18 pre-strike bargaining sessions. As the weeks pass by with no prog ress toward settlement, de spite concessions by the Ster eotypers, it is becoming in creasingly clear that manage ment has plotted a cold-blooded experiment to find a for mula for destroying newspa per unions. - , - Strike insurance, profession al strikebreakers and cold re jection of any effort of pub lic officials to find a middle way are all ingredients of the formula. The publishers have claim ed we violated our contract. Nothing in our contract or in federal law requires a union member to cross a picket line. Some ask if we are not dif ferent from printers, stereo typers and pressmen, if we are not professional persons and thereby somehow exempt from the harsh realities of a strike We consider ourselves profes sionals. We also consider our selves honest trade unionists. As union members we see no honorable course but to support the strike; as profes sionals we regret the biased reporting of strike incidents and the sad state of journalism to which two great newspa pers have now declined. Robert L. Shults, President Portland Newspaper Guild P. O. Box 1268 Portland 7, Oregon Fully Agrees To the Editor: I fully agree with Mr. Veach's letter. I think he hit it right on the nose when he said, "why not take Omar Khayyam's ad vice?" I get sick and tired of let ters about how awful women who wear shorts, use make up, etc., are. The people or person who writes these letters must be too old, if that's possible, or too prejudiced to enjoy the sight of a younger woman wearing shorts or with a little make-up on her face. I hope very much that when I become elderly I have more to do than sit around and write nasty letters about girls and women. Why not leave them alone for a change? Gordon B. Allen, Rt. 4, Box 316E., Medford, Ore. B-52s, in order to put at least part of the American nu clear deterrent beyond reach of a surprise Soviet rocket strike. As has been remarked, gambling the whole national future on the chance that there cannot be an error of a mere four months in the in telligence estimates, is simply a game of Russian roulette on an unprecedented scale. (c) I960 New York Herald Tribune Inc. Organization Explained To the Editor: Speaking for the rank and file of Medford Barracks No. 540, Veterans of World War One, as key offi cers in the organization, the undersigned are presenting a few facts about this fast-grow ing veterans' organization. Organized only four years ago this month, Medford Bar racks, No. 540, VWWI, has grown to be third largest vet erans organization in Jackson county in membership. In Oregon VWWI members num bered 5,602, a rapid growth over a seven year period, 1953 through 1959. Nationally, on Dec. 31, 1959, the count was 140,955. When it is considered that of the veteran popula tion of the nation, which is upward of 21 million, only 2.8 million are eligible for VWWI membership, the fact is brought out that, compara tively, we old "War Oners" have beaten them all at or ganizing. The principal, or Number One, objective, is the attain ment through Congressional action of a pension for veter ans of World War One, com parable to that of Spanish War veterans, . separate and apart from any pensions now existent, for veterans of other U.S. wars or conflicts, with proper and just income limi tation as a means of determ ining need. But the pension is not the only objective of this organi zation. The program of activi ties include welfare of veter ans and their dependents, and claims work through service officers fully recogniz ed by Congress and the Veter ans Administration, to repre sent veterans with power of: IPOJLUC (By M-T Staff and Contributors) Problems, problems nothing but problems. For instance, we received a let ter the other day which is too long for the "Communi cations" column, and loo funny to throw away. What to do? Put it in Potluck of course. Here it is: i To the Editor: This being the time of the year when coyotes, wild cats and cou gars start their courting, and evenings are still long enough for hunters to gather to gether and spin yarns, there comes eventually . the long disputed question: "Do cou gars scream a hair raising scream like a woman in dis tress or do they not?" One night like this 35 years ago my family had settled down after 'supper. Ma was cutting the ladies underwear section out of the Sears cata log so it would be fit for us kids to read. Pa was grinding willow bark and corncobs to put in his "loaning tobacco" pouch, and Uncle Cheddar (he was the 10th of 12 sons Grandpa and Grandma had, and when he came Grandpa exclaimed, "Cheez, another boy!" so Cheddar was a nat ural name) was honing his knife to be ready for the Sat urday night dance. I was reading a story which brought up the question, "Do cougars emit a shrill scream?" I asked Pa, but he said he was no naturalist, ask your Uncle. Uncle Cheddar sat me down and told me the following: "Many times people hunt all their lives and really do not learn the wsyn of. the wild, or become adept as am at reading the signs of the wild creatures. Some crea tures exist which most people are not aware are in the for ests, yet evidences- of their presence are r to be seen on every hand. . r. "Such a creature" " is the 'Side Hill Gouger." This ani mal is the living proof of the correctness of two " unrelated theories. First it proves Dar win's theory of the survival of the most adaptable, and secondly it proves Einstein s theory of relativity. "The Side Hill Gouger is an animal which lives on the steep slopes of canyons and mountainsides all over the attorney in their claims for benefits due them.. As a special activity aside from veterans welfare, Med ford Barracks 540, VWWI, be ginning in 1959, sponsors, by furnishing the tuition fee for as many boys as the Barrack's fund can stand, for 10 days the Easter Seal Camp, operat ed by the Oregon Society for Crippled Children and Adults, an annual event. The growth of Medford Barracks No. 540, VWWI, in this area, and the success we have had in keeping good public relations, is largely due to the friendly and congenial relations our publicity depart ment, both of the Barracks and the Ladies Auxiliary, have enjoyed in our contacts with the Medford Mail Tri bune, i- We thank you for all of the favors of the past four years, and look forward, to continued pleasant dealings with you in the future. . Alvin C. Lucas Commander (1959) Pat Graham . Quartermaster and Service ,Officer. Veterans of World War I Medford western United States. Adapt ed as they are to living on these inclines they have long legs on one side and short legs on the other. To keep their balance always at its maximum stability the Gou gers must always keep their heads directly in the center of the body line, therefore their necks have no joints and they can only see straight ahead. Consequently the Gou ger, which is by nature a very nervous individual, when startled by a noise behind him must run completely around the mountain to see what caused the disturbance. This has caused them to de velop an amazing speed. "Rainy nights, the Gougers play on cut banks along high ways. You can see where they have rolled rocks down on the pavement. Deer hunters sometimes disturb them and find that the Gougers have frightened the deer by dislog ing rocks or shaking the brush by the wind of their passing. "In the late winter and early spring the Gougers court and mate the same as the other animals, with one ex ception. Some Side Hill Gou gers have long right legs and short left legs and some have long left legs and short right legs. When a right hand male meets a left hand female. his scream of dismay is some times mistaken by the unin formed as the cry of a cougar." Tim J. Horn Box 214 Yreka, Calif. Some of the programs witnessed on the local TV station, according to a friend of outs, certainly were far from being Chanel No. 5. Bob Vroman of our staff drew a cartoon of a ground hog for Groundhog Day last week, and we printed it. Now comes another staff member with a tsk-tsk kind of note, which says: I never saw a groundhog, But it's my science-loving duty. To tell you groundhogs hav long tails; What you drew was a plain agouty. An agouty (or agouti) is a tail-less rodent found in the West Indies and Central America. Learn something every day, don't you? A press release from the University of Oregon says; "This year on March 1, the 28th Symposium Group will start a speaking program that wiU take them through out the stale and into lhe middle of May." Now that's going to be an interesting trip, but sort of a long one. Hope they like it there. . Iii the Day's News By FRANK JENKINS From Washington: The house of representa tives is ready to begin de bate on the first tax-cutting bill of the present session of the congress. The bill would repeal the tax on tires and tubes supplied with new U.S. made bicycles. Backers said the measure would reduce the cost of making a bike by 25 cents, and so, presumably, would save the buyer of a new one the sum of two bits. But- Repeal of the tax would cost the federal government $500,000 in lost revenue. COMMENT? How about , this: A tax of two bits on each new bicycle made and sold in the U.S. doesn't sound like much. But when the two bit tax on ALL the new bikes is added up it comes to half a million dollars. Many a mickle makes a muckle. A lot of little tax reductions' would add up to a BIG tax reduction. SOMETHING else to remem ber: If this half million dollars taken out of the pockets of the buyers of new U.S.-built bicycles in the form of an excise tax on bike tires had been LEFT IN THEIR POCK ETS, they would have had just that much more to spend for other things. The tax and tax and spend and spend boys orate to us at great length on the BENE FITS of government spend ing. What they fail to add is that every dollar taken out of our pockets in the form of taxes to be SPENT BY GOVERNMENT is a dollar that we don't have left in our pockets to SPEND FOR OURSELVES. A" INTERESTING little tale ; on " the wires con cerns a California woman who for 18 years has been a model wife and a model mother. All this time, she has been doing an admirable job of keeping her house and raising her children. But- It turns out- ' She is an ex-convict and a parole violator. IlfHAT to do about it? " LETS FORGET IT. Under the doctrine of atonement, she has atoned in these 18 years for her former transgressions. She has paid her debt to society. Let's leave her alone." A man called up the other day, and sounded disappoint ed when we weren't able to tell him, right off the bat. whether this is the Chinese Year of the Rat" or tr "Year of the Mouse." We can now. It's both - or either. The Chinese ideograph for rat" is the same as it is for "mouse" and vice versa. (And one ingeneous soul suggests that it was the year of the mouse in China until the Communists took over, and now it is the year of the rat. Maybe he has something.) Men! Oh MENU Did you know that there is a store in New York which mar kels men's red underwear with removable lace trim for St. Valentine's day? Did you know that? Who ays we aren't a decadent nation? There is a certain law en forcement agency in Jackson county which had a bit of technical difficulty lately. We were told about it if we prom ised we wouldn't tell which agency it was. Aryway, there was this prisoner, and he was hand cuffed, and the time came .to take the handcuffs off, and the key worked fine on one side, but didn't work at all on the other side, no matter how hard the officers twisted, and after one particularly hard twist broke right off in the keyhole. They wound up freeing the prisoner with a hacksaw - a procedure he seemed to enjoy thoroughly, by the way, al though they didn't, particularly. This was at a school re organization meeting lhe other night. One man said to another: "Didn't hear anything you said last time you said something." ' Last week we mentioned coffee - flavored lipstick, and said maybe Bert Kissinger could tell us what it signified. Sure enough, he did, and it's simpler than we thought. Good to the last drop." Bert declared.