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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 22, 1959)
Gum-smoke. In any verbal duel I might as well withdraw When I try to shoot my mouth off, Wifey beats me to the jaw. Hal Chadxvick During the recent recession, a large company fired a number of its employ ees. When business picked up, the firm was anxious tq rehire these trained workers. After a week of contacting them, however, the assistant personnel chief had to tell his boss: "We're not getting any of them back. They all have other jobs now and they say they're making more money than we paid them." The boss scowled over this. "Well," he said, "they may be making more money, but they can't match the job security they had here!" Quote No matter how far-fetched a little boy's story is, it always sounds like the truth when it's about one of the neighbors. O. A. Battista A small boy was sent to the grocery store. He studied the bin of potatoes carefully before giving his order to the grocer. "I'll take a dollar's worth of those in the corner the ones with the most eyes." "The ones with the most eyes?" ask ed the grocer. "Why?" "Mom told me they have to see us through the week." A. W. Stinson i m i m The son of a Damon Runyonesque bookie needed some help with his school work, so he visited his father's place of business, a cigar store on Broadway. "Pop," he asked quizzically, "what does ethics mean?" The bookie didn't hesitate. "Well," he said, "the other day a guy comes up and bets 100 bucks and gives me a C-note to cover. His pony loses, see, and then I discover he'd given me two $100 bills stuck together. "That's where the ethics comes in. Should I tell my partner?" John Winters Fleming The Line of Most Resistance When boxtops state, As boxtops should, "Open Here," I wish they would! Betty Isler "You get 'em out of the way ... I'm pooped!" MM! (Continued) Marilyn, shown here with Director Billy Wilder, is a shy, frightened girl. playing games with you. One writer once ap proached her and said, "Do you remember me? We met in New York last time." Marilyn looked befuddled. "I meet so many people," she said. Yet when she saw the writer later, she not only remembered their New York meeting but recalled details even he had forgotten. Hollywood abounds with classic Monroe stories which prove Marilyn is (1) a dead-pan wit or (2) a dumb blonde, depending on the storyteller. One story concerns Marilyn being named by the Air Force Interceptor Command as "the girl we'd most like to intercept." Marilyn dodged the pro motional stunt by replying, "Heavens, that would date me everything is missiles now!" Witty? Stupid? The story has been used to prove both contentions. While two years have changed Marilyn as a personality, they haven't changed her as a woman determined to make a go of her marriage. A shy, frightened, ' lonely girl, she has found in Arthur Miller a .man of stature who has given her new confidence. "The best role I've ever played," she says, "is the one I'm playing now that of Mrs. Arthur Miller." Does that mean she may devote herself full time to the job? Miller thinks so, but he's alone in this opinion. As much as Miller's affection, Marilyn needs the adulation offered a top film star. She probably realizes she will never become the artist or intellect she dreams of, but there is one achievement that can never be denied Marilyn she's the "love goddess" of her generation, and woe to the mortal, man- or woman, who tries to make her less. Family Weekly, February 22, 1959 IF YOU ARE ON THIS LIST... Nervous and tense Arthritic Heart trouble Invalid Middle-aged or elderly Pregnant or nursing High blood pressure DON'T LET CONSTIPATION ADD TO YOUR WORRIES! As distressing as constipation can be in "normal" people without spe cial conditions or illnesses, chronic irregularity can be extremely ag gravatingeven dangerous in some cases. If you are on the list, you've probubly been cautioned already by your own physician, to avoid harsh laxatives and purga tives. 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