Seems like the next war
will be fought over disarma
ment. Australasian Mjgr.
Statements Apt to Be Interrupted
"You're dead wrong, officer, saying I was go
ing 40 when my speedometer clearly registered
35, so if you'd just pull your head out of the
car ..."
"As America's greatest president, Franklin
D. . . ."
"All right, children, since it's such a nice day
you can go roller skating. I think ten minutes is
a fair time . . ."
"Two tickets for tonight's performance of 'My
Fair Lady.' I'd rather not have anything farther
back than the tenth row, and preferably . . ."
"That guy Reese is a wonder. Still going
strong with the Brooklyn Dodgers . . ."
"Now look, dear, I've had a tough day at the
office while all you've been doing is lolling
around..."
"Well, all I can say is that everybody agrees
he's the funniest comedian on the . . ."
"Our grandchildren are the only ones I've
ever heard of who say those cute things . . ."
"Golf a sport? Why, it's just a king-sized
version of croquet where you . . ."
Parke Cummings
THE PROBLEMS OF
INNER SPACE
Our new refrigerator's
huge,
A great big super-eold
one;
We've had it now a week,
and
It's as crowded as the old
one.
Ken Kraft
Crime of My Wife
Of all the stupid questions,
The one that takes the cake
Is this: "Say, honey ...
Francis...
"HEY, DEAR, ARE YOU
AWAKE!" "
Francis O. Walsh
"Did you ever see such coordination at six months?"
A congressman facing a tough
battle for re-election stumped the
district in a series of talks with his
worthy opponent. An old-time
spellbinder, the congressman had
no intention of losing his cush job
and pulled out all the stops in
trying to convince his constituents
that he should be returned
to Washington.
"My friends," he said imploringly,
"I pondered long the question
should I retire after so many years
of selfless service or should I
once again seek the honor of
representing you people in the
nation's capital? One day I went to
Statuary Hall where the great
One fellow who's sure to
get a kick out of his work is
the salesman in the chil
dren's shoe department.
Pat Kraft
marble busts of our past
heroes stand. 1 paused in front
of the statue of Thomas
Jefferson and put to him the
same question should 1
retire; should I continue my
career? And, friends, I could
almost see his lips
move and hear his
voice come clear
'Stay here,' it said."
His opponent got up
and delivered a brief
rebuttal. "Say, you
better elect me. You
don't want a fellow
who goes around
mumbling to statues!"
Family Weekly, November 23, 195
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