If you enjoy knotty
problems, try teaching
that sweet young girl how
to use a casting rod.
Ken Kraft
An ambitious young home repairman was
determined to become a success at any cost
particularly his customers' costs. Overworked,
he died when only 43. When he reached the other
world, he rilled out the necessary forms and
listed his age.
This caused some consternation among celestial
authorities. Why should the home serviceman be
called so young? Somebody checked the files and
returned to the candidate.
"Well, we got that straightened out," he said
with relief. "According to the working hours you
charged your customers, you're at least 127."
Blighty
These
Mother-Daughter
Outfits
The idea leaves me a trifle
cold,
I look too young or she
looks too old;
I just don't think the time is
ripe
A five-year-old is not my
type!
Colleen Hynes Johnson
Things 6
I
That Never VL 1 1 '
Areas 1 1 1 t
as We Expected
That "generous sample" sent free upon re
quest . . . your first mustache . . . the raise
after "miscellaneous deductions" ... a foot
ball player in swimming trunks . . the half
gallon of ice cream purchased for a children's
party . . . our uniform from the last war . . .
engagement rings . . . the welcome that co
workers give us after we return from vaca
tion ... a teen-age daughter in her first
formal . . . "fabulous trade-in allowances"
... an empty parking space.
Charles V. Mathis
-v p
... .,.,' ...
e I didn't end up in the
"Fooled you this tim
corner.
K sJk I
A rancher was driving his
Eastern visitor over the arid
and barren country of western
Texas. The sun was blistering
hot, the wind dusty dry. Sud
denly a beautifully plumed bird
ran across the road. The East
erner was impressed with its
exotic coloring and asked what
kind of a bird it was.
"Why, that's a Bird of Para
dise, Son," the rancher replied
proudly.
The next mile was driven in
thoughtful silence. Then the
visitor broke it with, "Pretty
long way from home, isn't it?"
Wall Street Journal
A terribly jealous woman used
to submit her husband to a
regular inspection every evening.
The slightest hair discovered
on his coat would lead to weeping,
recriminations, and threats.
One night the husband returned,
his suit coat spic and span. The
wife searched in vain for a
wisp of hair, then cried out "This
is too much! Bald women now!"
Constellation
Give some women enough rope,
and they'll hang another clothes
line in the bathroom.
Brushvoare
L f Ginnie, if those kids don't
p pipe down, the picnic's off. ftSij
A h. My stomach's upset already! p&3
f Sby We'll take Pepto-Bismol I,
ll Zi along. Hospital tests prove IK.
II I v;- it relieves upsets. ,iXi'
f Wonderful for indigestion
fol or nausea, too! Y
p
h
Pepto-Blsmol works whin soda, seltzers and "tummy-alds" fall!
For upset stomach, indigestion, nausea, or diarrhea
Pepto-Bismol's special medicinal formula soothes with
a gentle coating action. It works in both the stomach and
the lower 'digestive tract where soda and alkalizers
never help. For children or adults, this wonderful pink
liquid helps control simple diarrhea without constipating.
Take Hospital Tested Pepto-Ilsmol. . . and feel good again!
flepto-
- DROWN
YOUR
CAMPFIRES
GSEBS?
see what iionnoriEX
DOES FOR
M Mill MS!
It has bttn known for yaan that
womtn'i Innar production of ui
hormonts slawt dawn after 30
that hormona dafieitney cairttt
wrlnkto. But only now with the)
disco wry of tht itranga pant
Iratini powtr of Orltntal Stsama
Otl havt wt laarnad how to Rtt
wrlnklt smoothing hormonts
btnoath tht turfaet. forgot all
your aarhar disappointments
from surf act trtatmtnta.
MAKff TMt
wniNKii rm
family Weekly, August 10, 1958
30 DAY TRIAL
RESULTS OR MONEY BACK!
Not a cream not a lotion the New Hor
mone Serum is so effective that only seven
drops a day are needed. To see unbelievable
results apply to one side of the face for only
30 days then let your own mirror give the
answer. If Hormonex doesn't erase years
from your appearance, return the unused
portion for immediate cash refund.
SEND NO MONEY. Simply send name and
address. Say "I want to test Hormones."
When your mailman delivers Hormonex,
deposit only $3.50 plus tax of 35 and C.O.D.
fee for 100-day supply less than 4 a day.
Or, remit S3. 85 and we ship postpaid. Either
way we refund $3.85 if you return Hormonex
after 30-day Test. Order now. Surprise your
friends with your "new look" of youlhfulness.
MITCHUMC0.,DErT.24JS,MRIS, TENNESSEE
Photo C7jnerfitfl(X
Cover: Ozzie Sweet.
Page 13: Wide World.
Page 19: Joieph V. Tompkins.
Help Fill the
Research
Clinics
Patient Aid
jyis
"Munifii sctiaosis
, , ...
BEAT
THE
IIP ATI
i
1 1
The "all-over" body
KEFRKSHKK uacd
rlnily in over 4,000
HOHFiTAIJU A de
lightfully cool rnna
aare with Dernuuwage,
morning or night,
trarutforniH torrid Uim-
Iieraturoa into cool
roozcs on your akin.
Ideal for muncle
toning. Non-alcoholic,
not grenay, CAN'T
STAIN. Medicated.
At all drug counter.
FREE DISPENSER
run riminr tconomy sut sp" H
Total 12.10 9197 liwd HwMk J
value, only I
no fed. tax