Medford mail tribune., July 27, 1958, Image 33

A wealthy man, returning after years
to the slum neighborhood of his youth,
saw a group of dirty youngsters play
ing baseball in the street. They were
dressed in rags and touched the old
man's heart.
"Come along with me, children," he
said. "I'm going to get you all complete
new outfits."
They dutifully paraded to the finest
men's wear shop in the area where the
old man watched happily as each was
outfitted in Ivy League suits, tiny
fedoras, and bright new shoes.
The pleased expressions on the chil
dren's faces were reward enough for
the old man except for one case. This
youngster had looked sad from the be
ginning and as they left the clothier,
the child broke into tears.
"What's the matter," asked the old
man, "don't you like your new suit,
little boy?"
"That little boy," piped up one of
the other kids, "is named Alice."
Journal of the American Medical Assn.
A widow ordering
a tombstone in mem
ory of her late hus
band had this in
scription put on it:
"Rest in Peace Till
I Get There."
Lion
And then there was
the wolfish business
man who had to get
rid of his lady lawyer
because she lost her
appeal.
frw
1
"Good for you! I also broke a hundred today!"
There was a songwriter
in Russia who com
posed a catchy tune
titled "Moon over
Moscow." The day
after it was published,
the secret police paid him
a visit. The leader
thrust a sheet of music at
the composer and de
manded, "Tell us,
comrade, is this our moon
or theirs?"
Phoenix Flame
V :
I'll Start Tomorrow
Here's why, alas, I'm gaining
weight
Where formerly 1 wasn't:
The daily dozen I should do
1 fear I daily doesn't.
Dick Emmons
I 1 Jk.
Some wives will put
up with a lot, but
most of them want to
start building the house
right away.
Ken Kraft
M It
Listen, Young Lady!
Though money can't buy
happiness,
One tip 1 will bequeath her
To keep within her pretty head:
That poverty can't either.
Colleen Hynes Johnson
Deft-initions
boy: noise with dirt
on it.
Married man: one who
cleans the windshield
before going to a drive
in movie.
Married life: one un
darncd thing after another.
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in a plain envelope.
Name
Street
(PlEAtC PIIINTl
-Zone
Stale-
4
B
Oh, this upset stomach . . . and my
in-laws
coming
for dinner!
V
I know how you feel, Lou.
Look take Pepto-Bismol.
It's wonderful for upsets,
indigestion or nausea.
And it's hospital tested.
Family geekly, J&y 27, J9.'f
Npto-lkmol weita wfaitt xM, mUmn nd "tammy-ildr fill I
For upwet stomach, indigestion, nausea, or diarrhea
Papto-BisMoJ's social tmdicinjEtJ formula soothes with
a pMtkconting attic. It fork in both the stomach and
tip fctw tligMtif trt k- soda and alkalizers
evr htlp. Vet chiltlMhi 4tok, this spnderful pink
liquid helps clgrol siifJirAyi without constipating.
Tiki Hnptol Tiff Pti-OtJr. . . and fill m! again!
Pepto
Bismol
Uvmr