Medford mail tribune., December 22, 1957, Image 42

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BY LETTING OTHERS ENJOY YOUR HOME, YOUR TABLE, YOUR CHILDREN,
AND YOUR TIME, YOU CAN BRING RICH NEW MEANING TO THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
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fay Joseph Newton
n
H
Chances are
answer we did:
This jolted
worked hard
ave you ever considered what
Christmas really means in your
home? If you want an eye-opener,
take your children aside and ask them,
"What's the most important thing about
Christmas?"
you 11 get the same
"Getting presents."
us, because we had
at explaining to the
children the spiritual significance of
Christmas and the importance of shar
ing. After we realized that explanations
were useless and that only by living
these precepts could we impress the
children, we began really to make
Christmas a time for sharing. And we've
enjoyed every minute of it.
How many times especially around
Christmas have you pointed out to
your children how much more satis
faction can be gained from giving in
stead of getting? Probably often; this
is one of the standard lectures parents
inflict on their offspring. Yet children
learn by example, not by lecture. And
what do children see around most
homes at Christmastime? They see their
parents return, tired and harassed, from
shopping expeditions just in time to
get ready for a round of holiday parties.
They are surrounded by catalogues,
advertisements, window displays, tele
vision commercials, and dozens of other
persuasive devices, all showing them
the things they would like to get.
Still, most youngsters today dig into
their coin purses to buy their parents a
Christmas gift and in this way lift at
least a corner of the curtain of selfish
ness with which grownups often hide the
fuller meaning of Christmas. But this
is such a small thing compared to the
more expansive meaning of sharing
which children are ready and able to
accept if it is presented to them.
This is the responsibility of the
parents. And it's a sad fact that not only
do most parents fail to meet this re
sponsibility but most of them don't even
recognize it. Too often, sharing even
to adults means only material pos
sessions. To those grownups who think
of it at all, rounding up an assortment
of broken toys and sending them off to
the local fire department is considered
an act of ultimate kindness.
But there are so many more im
portant things to share things that you
can give easily, painlessly, and which
will bring tremendous happiness.
Things, too, which will rub off on your
children and make them aware of the
joy and satisfaction and importance of
sharing. This should be a year-round
philosophy, but what better time to
begin it than at Christmas, when hearts
are close to the One who made love
and compassion His way of life?
When we decided, a few years ago,
to try and shift the Christmas emphasis
in our household from getting to
sharing, we began to look for ways
of setting the example for our children.
We found a good many yet none of
them is peculiar to us. You and your
neighbors have them in quantity, too.
What are some of the things you can
start to share this Christmas?
First of all, there's your home not
in the sense of four walls and a roof,
but in its broader meaning as a place
of love, kindness, understanding, and
peace. These are qualities many people
seek with a special longing at Christ
mastime. To them and to all who will
come you should open your home and
your hearts. Once you open wide your
doors, you'll be surprised at the people
who will gratefully drop in and partake
of your home and what it offers.
Then there's your table. Many people
are hungry, not so much for turkey and
dressing as for friendship, congeniality,
conversation, and the warm human
relationships that go along with holiday
meals. Share the turkey and dressing,
certainly, but much more important
share the friendship and warmth. We've
made it a point to share all of our
Christmas meals breakfast included
with people who might otherwise have
spent them alone. It's a rewarding and
wonderful experience.
You can even share your children.
Christmas belongs to children. They
represent the joy and buoyancy and ex
citement of the holiday season.
r .f. r. ... . i t,.-... . ,. ..... r . ' -.-n - : v .. "
t Yin.
1
And it isn't just doting grandparents
who would like to share your children.
I'll never forget the plaintive request
of a bachelor friend who had dinner
with us one Christmas Eve. He lingered
after the other guests were gone, and
finally, as he stood hat in hand at the
front door, he said. "There were seven
children in my family, and one of the
most wonderful memories I have is of
Christmas morning when we all raced
downstairs to see the Christmas tree
and open our gifts. Would you let me
come over tomorrow morning and
watch your children open theirs?"
When I came down to turn on the
tree lights very early that Christmas
morning, he was waiting outside in his
car. And every Christmas morning
until he married and started a family
of his own last year he became a part
of our family. Along the way, he was
joined by several others, all of whom
have added tremendously to our
Christmas pleasure while finding for
themselves an extra measure of joy
through our children.
You can share your time, too. It takes
very little time to bake an extra fruit
cake for the maiden lady up the street;
to telephone grandparents in a distant'
city and let the kids talk with them; to
set an extra place for someone who
would be eating alone; to pay a call
on a friend who isn't able to call on
you; to wrap an extra gift to put under
the tree for someone who has no tree;
or to open the Bible and think aloud
for a few minutes with your family and
friends about the spiritual significance
of Christmas.
Then you can share your interest.
People who are away from family,
home, or loved ones have stored up
many things they want to say. And
often it comes out in the generous
atmosphere of your home at Christmas
time. These people need interest, real
and sincere, and you can give it to
them and thereby profit yourself.
An elderly gentleman from a nearby
old people's home spent his last two
Christmases with us. His wife was
dead, and his only surviving son lived
some distance away and showed no
interest in inviting him to visit there
for the holidays.
The old man always loved to watch
our children open their gifts, and one
Christmas, after the gift-opening, he
told me in great detail of a Christmas
morning in his home when his children
were small. It took him almost an
hour as he described every tiny
occurrence, every gesture, every ex
clamation. When he finished, he fell
silent a few minutes, then rejoined our
family activities.
I thought he had forgotten the con
versation, but when I took him home
that evening, he looked at me with the
sort of simple gratitude that warms
your heart, and said, "Thanks for
listening to me today."
Many of us have become poor listen
ers, so immersed in our own seeming
problems that we close out others who
want and need to communicate with
us. Christmas is a good time to begin
letting them in. We can't help growing
in the process, because we are also let
ting in kindness and understanding and
compassion. This is especially true with
older people. When they come to your
home at Christmas, or you go to theirs,
show a genuine interest in what they
want to tell you.
With whom do you share? Everyone,
of course, but especially with the lone
ly. Christmas can be a very sad season
for people who have lost their families
or are far away from them. It can also
be lonely for those who are surrounded
by other people but are hungry for love
and understanding and kindness. You
can bring meaning to these people's
Christmas by sharing with them your
home, table, family, time, interest, and
spiritual enlightenment.
When we think about Christmas shar
ing, we should remember that we are
the heirs to the example of Jesus,
Whose birth we celebrate at Christmas.
From Him, we inherit love, compassion,
kindness, grace, goodness. Can we do
less to honor Him and to teach the
children He loved so well than to make
Christmas truly a time for sharing?
Pho0 by Mort Shapiro
Family Weekly, December 22, 1957