Medford mail tribune., August 25, 1957, Image 45

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wives to see how many had policies.
All of them had, or were interested in
having, one type of policy: simple
burial insurance.
One wife summed up the feelings of
the group when she said, "At least I'd
like to take care of my own funeral
expenses. My whole life I've been
dependent on somebody else!"
help-support isn't the only problem
my married friends have, either. "If
anything happened to Mike," the fear
of loneliness might be unbearable for
my friend. But me, I know all about
this matter of loneliness!
It is the chronic disease of all single
people, widowed, unattached, or di
vorced. Loneliness no longer frightens
me, for I've learned to fill my time
purposefully and put extra effort into
organizing my social life.
It's true that during her twenties a
single woman is fairly self-conscious.
Hostessing a party alone or going to an
affair dateless is hard. But poise comes
with years, and long ago I made it my
business to have fun when I was out
If you doubt that bachelor girls have
gay evenings, look around at the next
party you attend. Chances are the
married mammas will be clustered in
a corner talking recipes and kids.
Across the way, "poor little" Miss
Smith will be enjoying herself with half
the men. She'll probably be trimmer
and more stylish, for she is not tempted
by neighborhood coffee klatches and
refrigerator nibbling. And she takes
special care of her hair and clothes on
a more lenient budget.
As everyone knows, of course, clothes -'
don't make the woman. But as a lot of
married women seem to forget, con
versation does.
Miss Smith has probably kept abreast
of current affairs, ideas, books. Her
horizons extend beyond diapers and the
PTA. Men are attracted by her stimu
lating talk, and Miss Smith can go
stronger and last longer in pursuing
fun. After her day's work, she doesn't
carry around the emotionally draining
problems of a growing family.
I have some wonderful examples
around me of older friends who, for
one reason or another, never married
but managed to, find satisfaction.
Sarah is one of them. A nurse, she
served our country in both World Wars.
Today she is a supervisor in a large
general hospital. Warm and sympathet
ic, she has not only saved lives, eased
pain, and helped bring a new genera
tion into the world, but she has been
- the sage adviser to most of her friends.
Socially Sarah is wanted by everyone,
and whenever you see her at a party,
some worried father or husband is
quietly spilling his woes before her.
She has learned the great art of listen
ing and saying little, but of making her
few words meaningful.
Helen is another singular single
woman. The most popular teacher in
her school, she has organized a drama
group, a service club, and numerous
other extras for her "kids."
"You know," she said to me recently,
"maybe I made a big mistake by not
marrying and having a family of my
own. I don't know! But I do know that
I've had hundreds of children in my
life, and I think I've been able to make
life a little better for a lot of them."
She has, too! For Helen, like Sarah .
and Lois and countless other unmarried
women, has remained chax-ming and
tender and feminine throughout her
life. She has found what everyone
seeks: respect, love, friends, work, and
the feeling of being needed.
Should you feel sorry for such a per
son? Self-conscious about her? Guilty
because of her? I should say not!
In some ways, the single woman does
live the life of a bird in a gilded cage.
But unlike that musical miss, she's
neither to be pitied nor censured!
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