MEDFORD (OREGON) MAIL TRIBUNE THREE
Family
Council
Tuesday. February 19, 1957
Mrs. K. G. My sister's suitor
vould make a good father to
her boy.
Mrs. H. M. I can't marry
him lor that alone, o
Mrs. K. G. My sister's hus
band died two years ago, leav
ing her with one little boy,
aged 4. My sister then went to
live with our mother and grand
mother. During the first year after
her husband s death my sister
was so heartbroken she would
not consider any social activity.
Recently, however, she has perk
ed up a bit ai none out and met
a man who wants very much to
marry her.
This man is a widower with
two young daughters. He is
fine person, has a good income
and is a very good father. I feel
that my sister is making a ter
rible mistake by discouraging
him as she has. If only for her
son's sake she should marry him,.
The boy needs a father. He only
has contact with women wider
the present arrangement.
Mrs. H. M I can't see what
harm it is doing my son to be
with the three of us. Of course. I
would like him to have a father,
but I don't feel I can marry this
man on that basis alone.
The man my sister speaks of
is all shg says he is, but I don't
feel he loves me or that I love
him. He has approached me on
the basi3 that we both owe an
obligation to our children to
establish a home with two par
ents, o
My husband and I were very
much in love and I am afraid I
could not live with a man I do
not love. I am willing to make
sacrifices for my son, but this
one is jg too much for me. My
son is bring very well cared for
O ,-by the three of us. We do our
best to encourage all his boy
ish interests and not make a
siaay out of him.
o ...
The Council: Mrs. H. M. Is
riiit to refuse to make a mar-
ringe for the sole purpose of
supplying her son with a . father.
Such- a step is not likely to lead
to 0 very .successful marriage.
She should not, however, rule
aut Qiis highly eligible man
untP she has gotten to know
Ohim better. He may just be us
?3k the wrong approach,
'here 9 a strong possibility
tfrat this man feels he is using
the most persuasive possible
argument when he speaks to
Mrs. H. M. of the need to make
a home for their children. It is
likely thai he is attracted to her
am romantically interested, but
underestimates her own interest
in romance.
Q Mrs. H. M. is probably some
wlQt(ffended that the man does
not show enough interest in her
as a woman. If ie does not dis
courage him, she may quickly
find this interest just beneath
the suri.e. and may find her
self readily responding to it.
O The problem of her son may
be considered separately. Al-
thoughOMrs. H. M. and her
mother and grandmother may
be doing the best they can for
he boy, they cannot supply him
irt-ith sometlung he strongly
needs a male fi?ire with whom
0 he m identify. This is import
ant to his development and Mrs.
H. M. should try to make up for
the lack.
, Frequent contact with his
uncles or other male members of
the family would help. Steady
contact is needed, however. If
this regular contact i not pos
sible with a member of the fam
ily, Mrs. H. M. would do well
to hire a male baby sitter a
youth of college age who can
spend a few afternoons a week
with the boy and possibly take
him on an outing over the week
end. She should try to find some
one whO is willing to keep the
job for a prolonged period, so
that her son ill not constantly
have this male contact torn
away from him.
q (Copyright 1957,
General Featutts Corp.)
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