TWO MEDFOBD (OREGON) MAIL THIB'JNE
Help Yourself to Happiness
Readers irt Invited t present (heir problems. All queries will receive
Individual attention and should bp areompanl'd by a stamped. self-addressed
envelope, directed to MAR V HARRIS SF.IFERT. M.A.. Department of Educa
tion. The AMERICAN INSTITUTE Or FAMILY RELATIONS, 5217 Sunset
Boulevard, Los Angeles 27, California.
When Grandma Comes To Stay
Readers are invited to present
their problems. All queries will
receive individual attention and
should be accompanied by a
stamped, self - addressed envel
ope, directed to Mary Harris
Seifert. M.A., Department of
Education. The American In
stitute Of Family Relations, 5287
Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles
27 California.
"My mother-in-law is coming
to live with us. What can we do
so that our home will remain
our own, and Grandma will be
happy?"
Increased life span presents
this problem to many young
couples. Parents are growing
older, and dependent upon their
married children. Homes are be
coming smaller, and suitable
niches in the household routine
less available for the elderly in
an urban situation.
The ideal solution, of course.
is for the old to live independent
ly or with others of their age.
But sometimes this is not pos
sible, and Crandma, after a life
of independence, become an un
willing and frequently refractory
dependent in a younger house
hold. Grandma, with her differnt
life, cannot help disturbing the
household. But she should try not
to upset prevailing customs or
harmony. And grown children
should attempt to combine their
lives with hers as smoothly as
possible, cooperating but not
sacrificing their own- individual
ity. Dr. Paul Popenoe of the Amer
ican Institute of Family Rela
tions in Los Angeles suggests:
1. Try honestly to make the
outsider feel useful, one of the
family group. Create small re
sponsibilities for her if none
exist. Remember that to feel ac
cepted, she must feel essential,
necessary to her family unit.
2. Encourage Grandma in as
many interests and activities as
possible her own, that she may
feel individuality rather than the
necessity of slavishly following
your activities.
3. When differences in customs
or judgement arise, be kind but
firm in explaining that you must
Women Players Win
Top Scores of Cards
Camp White Mrs. Frank
Baker and Mrs. Marrs Gibbons
scored lOO'-j points to lead
north-south players when the
Camp White Veterans Bridge
club held the last meeting. Mrs.
Al Gilhousen and Bill Hickey
scored second place in that posi
tion with 92V? points.
Mrs. Edna Miller and Mrs.
Fred Purdin led east-west play
ers, their score totaling 99
points. The Thomas Randalls
were in second place with 93'i
points.
Mrs. Abbott. Daughter
Visit San Francisco
Mrs. Esther Abbott and daugh
ter. Alicia. 468 South Stage rd.,
returned last week from a 10-day
trip to San Francisco. While in
the city they shopped and visited
places of interest, also attending
the ice follies. They stayed with
Harriet Jones, a former Medford
resident.
DURING OUR ANNIVERSARY SALE
Just for looking at NEW 1956
MmmvGil Appliances
Come in Today
Saturday and Look
TD A PIC klOWf
I
follow your established beliefs.
Respect hers in return.
4. Agree in advance on money
and services to be exchanged.
Try to be reasonable in your
expectations and demands.
5. Arrange definitely concer
ing shared household areas or
equipment. If possible, allow
Grandma her own room.
6. Show her your household
routine and how she may fit
into it with harmony for all.
With kindness and cooperation
an elderly person may become
a welcome asset in a busy house
hold, and herself find happiness
in a feeling of again "belonging"
to a vital family unit.
Beach Comber
Party Planned
At Country Club
Members of Rogue Valley
Country club have planned a
"beachcomber party for Satur
day, August 4. This will be the
annual summer party of the
club, and is for members and
out-of-town guests only.
The co-chairmen, Dr. and Mrs.
William Miller and Mr. and Mrs.
Justin Smith, state that the hos
pitality hour will be from 8 to 9
p.m. and dancing will be from
9 p.m. to 2 a.m. A "shore dinner"
will be served from 9 until mid
night. Reservations may be made
by calling the club.
Several member couples are
assisting the chairmen. Mr. and
Mrs. Eugene Thorndike are pub
licity chairmen, and the decora
tions committee is made up of
Mr. and Mrs. Delbert Wright,
chairmen. Dr. and Mrs. Russell
Barnes, Dr. and Mrs. Merle Fo
land, Mr. and Mrs. M. O. Grove,
Mr. and Mrs. William Henry and
Mr. and Mrs. R. R. Parsons.
Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Mik
sche and Mr. and Mrs. Ben Trow
bridge are the table decorations
committee.
Harry Barker is arranging en
tertainment for the evening, and
pupils of the Colleen Hope Dance
studio will appear in a group of
numbers.
On the greeting committee are
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Hinman,
and Richard Finches, Mr. and
Mrs. Ivan Harrington, Mr. and
Mrs. Sam Gilbert, the Lee Brays
and the Jack Doughertys, Mr.
and Mrs. Sharon Eichelberger,
Mr. and Mrs. Clayton Lewis and
Dr. and Mrs. Barnes.
Abby Green and an augmented
orchestra will provide music for
dancing. Everyone is asked to
wear sports or "beach comber"
attire.
Medford Couple
Takes Motor Trip
Mr. and Mrs. L. O. Boomer
have returned to their home at
933 Dakota avenue after a vaca
tion trip by car to several na
tional parks. They went from
Medford to Mt. Lassen National
park and then continued to Lake
Tahoe, Yosemite National park,
the Grand Canyon country, Zion
and Brice National parks. Cedar
Breaks National monument and
Reno, Nev., before returning
home.
The Boomers were away about
12 days.
!Ei.IH!?.!xQuisiTE
SNi-',K IKIUESCENT
or
Around!
W Y 225 E 6hS St.
Friday. August 3. 1358
Contest Planned
Between Lodges
A membership content be
tween the Central Point . and
Medford IOOF lodges was ar
ranged at the last meeting of the
latter group. The Central Point
lodge challenged the Medford
unit, and Jesse Thomasson, new
noble grand of Medford IOOF,
accepted.
After the meeting birthday
cakes were served in the banquet
room honoring J. W. Cave, Wil
liam Claypool, Frank Clavton,
L. S. Horton, S. W. Kohn, C. W.
Luman, Forest Samples, Fred
Slate and G. C. Wimer.
Ladies'. Auxiliary
Announces Picnic
Ladies auxiliary to Siskiyou
canton, Patriarchs Militant, will
I hold a picnic Sunday, August 5,
' at the home of Mr. and Mrs. W.
H. Dyer, 29 Myrtle street. The
event is set for 5:30 o"clock.
Members attending are asked
to take food for the picnic menu,
and table service. The auxiliary
will provide rolls and beverage.
CALENDAR
Friday:
Evening Ice cream social,
Phoenix Presbyterian church.
'Jewelry' Giraffe
This handsome giraffe makes
a wonderful resting place for all
your jewelry! Hang necklaces,
bracelets around his neck; ear
rings and rings on horns and
ears!
Pattern 7012: "Jewelry" gi
raffe 21 inches tall! Easy di
rections, embroidery transfer of
face.
Send TWENTY-FIVE cents in
coins for this pattern add 5
cents for each pattern for 1st
class mailing. Send to Medford
Mail Tribune, Household Arts
Dept., P.O. Box 168 Old Chelsea
Station, New York 11. N. Y.
Print plainly NAME, ADDRESS
and PATTERN NUMBER.
Two FREE patterns printed
in the new Alice Brooks Needle
craft book for 1956! Stunning de
signs for yourself, for your home
just for you, our readers! Doz
ens of other designs to order all
easy, fascinating hand -work!
Send 23 cents for your copy of
this wonderful book right away!
Medford -hor 3-5433
Women Judges
'Wonderful'
Says Visitor
By BETTY JANE SOUTHARD
United Press Correspondent
W ashington (U.RJ A visiting
high court justice from the Su
dan said it is "wonderful" that
the capital of the United States
has four woman judges.
The jurist, R. C. Soni, said
"women have a definite place
in law and I'm pleased to find
four women have been elevated
to the bench here." He referred
to District Court Judge Burnita
Matthews. Municipal Court
Judges Mildred Reeves, and
Mary Barlow and Juvenile Court
Judge Edith Cockrell.
Soni, escorted by Washington
attorney Axel W. Oxholm,
toured the federal and municipal
courts here. He said he was par
ticularly interested to find out
if women lawyers are hired for
a variety of cases.
No Wigs
"In many countries," Soni
said, "women lawyers only
handle domestic relations cases."
Oxholm explained that the
5.036 women lawyers in the
United States are not restricted
to domestic relations and "have
entered every phrase of the law.
The foreign jurist was openly
surprised at many things he saw
and one thing he didn't see.
"Where are the wigs?" Soni
asked Oxholm. "None of the
judges have their wigs on."
Oxholm replied -that in the
United States "it's not customary
for judges to wear wigs as they
do in other countries."
The high court justice was
"surprised" because the men
judges wore different colored
ties with their robes.
From India To Sudan
"Everywhere else," he said,
"judges wear black ties. But here
every tie is different."
His legal guide explained that
Americans have "no rules" about
brightly colored ties not even
for judges.
Soni said there are many com
mon legal tics which bind the
courts of the United States, In
dia, and Sudan.
He explained that after he re
tired in India, Prime Minister
Nehru "lent" him to the Sudan
ese High Court. He is the only
foreigner on Sudan's High Court.
"I referred to American court
decisions when I was a judge in
India," he said, "and I do the
same in Sudan."
Soni was "very impressed"
with the "splendid" court build
ings here.
"Instead of visiting ancient
ruins," he said, "I'd rather see
these living buildings where
American justice is rendered
daily."
LIGHTING ADVICE
When lighting your flowers
for summer beauty, G-E lighting
specialists remind you that
white flowers and gardens with
mixed and highly saturated col
ored blooms usually look best
when lighted with white light.
If you want to heighten trie col
ors of blossoms, or objects, use
bulbs of the same hue.
'Go Everywhere'
i "Go everywhere" in this
; simply smart ensemble! It's flat
tering to all figures, perfect for
. every occasion. Sundress has a
i neat new slant to its bodice; bo
j lero provides the pretty cover
I for town, travel, 'tween season
weather!
Pattern 9102: Misses' sizes 12,
14, 16, 18, 20; 40, 42. 44, 46, 48.
Size 18 dress takes 3;s yards 35
' inch fabric; bolero takes 2',i
yards.
This easy-to-use pattern gives
perfect fit. Complete, illustrated
sew chart shows you every step.
Send THIRTY-FIVE cents in
coins for this pattern add 5
cents for each pattern for 1st
class mailing, end to Marian
Martin, care of Medford Mail
Tribune, Pattern Dept., 232 West
18th St., New York 11. N. Y.
Print plainlv NAME. ADDRESS,
SIZE and STYLE NUMBER.
sizes gf jy
The fourth "opening night" of iha 195S Oregon Shake
spearean festival is set for Saturday when "Cymbeline" will
be given Us first production. The scene shown here is of
Don Gunderson, Chicago, who appears as Iachimo. and Joan
Kugell, Natick, Mass., as Imogen. Curtain time for- the
plays is always 8:30 o'clock.
The Family Council
Editor'! Note: The Family Council consists ot a Judge, a psychiatrist, a
newspaper editor, a womens page editor and two newspaper writers. These
consult with clergymen of all faluu and denominations. AU letters are held
la complete confidence.
Mrs. J.T.R. We should for
give this debt.
J.T.R. This is our retirement
money.
Mrs. J.T.R. Over the past
three years, my husband has
loaned quite a bit of money to
our married daughter and her
husband to help pay heavy doc
tor and hospital bills for a child
who has died. Now we have the
problem of what attitude to ake
about the loans..
We are poor people and the
money we lent them is what we
depended upon to supplement
social security on retirement. On
the other hand, I happen to
know that our daughter was ex
tremely reluctant to take our
money and did not do so before
exhausting all her other re
sources. ...
My daughter and son-in-law
are now badly in debt and, of
course, they have not got over
their feeling of great loss. It
was my thought that we might
uplift their spirits by telling
them now that we do not expect
them to repay the money and
that we would not accept it if
they did offer it. My husband,
however, disagrees.
J.T.R. I can't see that we
would be helping the children if
we made ourselves destitute and
dependent by giving up our nest
egg. Suppose, in five years
when my retirement is due, we
are unable to make ends meet
and the children have to sacri
fice to help us, will that be good
for anyone?
I am not dunning them for
the money and don't propose to.
I know they did not spend the
money for pleasure, and I know
how they are in no position to
pay it back now. I also know
that they have more pressing
debts.
I'm no
Bar-B-0 Bum
He minds his picnic manners-'
especially when it's barbecued beef 911 de
licious Holsum the energy white bread
in the orange red wrapper.
MAKE IT TASTE BETTER
Serve it with
Holsum Bread
This does not mean, however,
that I must encourage them to
be shiftless and to feel sorry for
themselves by telling them that
a debt of honor is no longer a
debt because they suffered a
sorrow. We too have suffered
a sorrow, a double sorrow, in
losing a grandchild and seeing
our daughter suffer. Financial
irresponsibility is no cure for
sorrow.
The Council The solution to
this problem lies between the
two conflicting viewpoints.
This loan has to be paid be
cause this money is the basis for
independence of two aging peo
ple. The daughter and son-in
law should, however, have the
clear assurance that the parents
do not need- this money for a
definite interval and do not ex
pect it. Evidently, the parents
are able to wait most or all of
the five years before retirement,
and it will help the younger
couple if they are told that.
Otherwise, there will be em
barrassment, strain and perhaps
a creeping resentment in the re
lation of the two generations.
It is definitely not wise to for
give a debt of this nature, but
it is just as unwise to leave the
debt hanging over the heads of
the younger couple as a vague
shadow. Make a definite, clean
cut arrangement that will pro
tect the older folks from loss of
their independence and the
younger folks from worry and
bad conscience. Such an agree
ment would spur them on to
settle all their debts and get on
their feet again.
(Copyright 1956, General Fea
tures Corp.)
Spraying rugs and carpels
with a five per cent DDT oil so
lution every 12 to 18 months
will prevent moth damage.
Early-Marriage
Trend Marked
By Statisticians
New York The Metropoli
tan Life Insurance company's
statisticians report a marked
trend toward earlier marriages
in the United States. Currently
about half the men who event
ually marry do so before age
23; for women the median age
at first marriage is about 20
years.
The total number of married
people in the country's popula
tion has reached a record high
of 8134 million, which compares
with 75 million in 1950, and
60' million in 1940.
At present almost 70 percent
of the population at ages 15 and
over is married, whereas for the
decades prior to World War II
the proportion was at most little
more than 60 percent, accord
ing to the statisticians' report.
which is based largely on Bureau
ot the Census data. The increase
in the married proportion of the
population has been consider
ably more since 1940 than in the
preceding half century.
Among men at ages 20-24
years the proportion married al
most doubled between 1940 and
1955 increasing from 27 per
cent to 51 percent. ,
The recent growth of the mar
ried population, it is pointed
out, has resulted mainly from
the record high number of mar
riages during and following
World War II. and particularly
from i marked rise in the mar
riage rate at the younger ages.
Contributing factors are the de
crease in mortality in early and
middle adult life, with conse
quent postponement of widow
hood, and the high remarriage
rate among the widowed and
divorced.
The statisticians note that
there has been a general trend
toward earlier marriage for well
over a half century, but that this
tendency was accelerated after
1940.
SOUR CREAM TRICKS
New York U.R) A refresh
ing sour cream mixture doubles
as a meat sauce or salad dress
ing. Add horseradish to taste to
sour cream. Whipped cream may
be used instead of sour. Serve
with hot or cold roast beef or
with cucumber salad.
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ail If IIL -1
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Serious Illness
Partly Mental
Survey Indicates
Cincinnati, O. (U.PJ Physi
cians at the University of .Cin
cinnati Medical college say if
you are seriously ' ill, chances
are the sickness is mental as
well as physical.
Research teams said they found
a definite relationship between
psychiatric illness and surgery
in 86 per cent of 200 patients
examined. They said many suf
fered to the point where their
lives were affected.
The study also showed that
in 40 per cent of the cases, men
tal factors combined with other
causd to produce illness which
required surgery.
The doctors pointed out that
a significant result was that pa
tients with a high degree of anx
iety or fear before surgery were
more likely to make a better
recovery. This indicated, they
said, that some degree of fear
and anxiety was helpful in pre
paring the patient for surgery.
They said two results were
especially significant. One was
the high percentage of patients
who, because of personality fac
tors, aggravated their illness and
even endangered their lives by
delaying surgical help.
The other result was the search
still being carried on at the
university to find what factors
cause improvement or aggrava
tion of patients' condition after
surgery.
Lighted Umbrella Good
For Outdoor Parties
A lighted umbrella will give
you additional hours of outdoor
entertaining after dark.
Almost any one of the many
lawn sets of chairs and a table
with an umbrella can be lighted
by the ' household handy man.
To light the umbrella, use a
150-watt projector bulb (made
of hard glass so it's waterproof)
in a clamp-on type holder, fasten
ed to the upper stem of the um
brella. As with all outdoor light
ing, you'll want to use weather
proof sockets and wiring.
MANICURIST.
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