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I I.
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MEDFOTID MXTL TRrBTJNT!, MTTOFOTID, . OTl Efi ON, TUESDAY. -XOYEMTJEll 27. 1928.
UEDFORD MAIL TRIBUNE
Ml.. BwAmj, WMklf
Ptibliihed tt
MiDroiiu muituiu oo
M IMI M. n M.
BOIIKRT w. mmi., Kdlur
I. SUaUTT.H SMITH, UanafOT
, Au Uidii.ndtul Kewai.
Bound u Meond daa nattrj at Mad
lord, Orrg-on, uiMkr At-t of March . 187i.;
SUBSCRIPTION BATH
j Mill lu AiiTalic;
Dally, wili Sunday, amr
Dally, with bund.., rDonlh....
Pally, arilbanl Hutiday, ..ar ...
Dally, without Himdaj, tuontt. .
Wal. Mall Tribune, ooa .aa. .
U . . . , ............
I
.7.0
. .
. aO
. .(6
00
1.00
By Carrier, In Advanrf In Madford, Aah- i
UM, Jacaaormnc, wiim . B"u"
Tel.nt, Uold Hill and on illiliwayli
Dally, wiui auttuay. roortio .. .,
Dally, ariUwut Sunday, motitli. . .
Daily, without Aunday, one yaf.
Daily, with Sunday, one yeit...
All Urma, caaa in advene.
,T6
, .',h
, T.o
; oo
BlKKBKR Or TIIR ASSOCIATED PRESf
llecelrlng full Leaeed Wire Strri. ,
Only paper In dtr or county receiving
ewa by ulrgraph.
Ulna AaaocuUd Preea la raelualialy an
rltlrd to tae uae for publication of aU
ana dlapatrhea rrrdited to It ec otherwtM
credited la thia paper, and aiae to tlx local
aoaia publlabel herein. ....
All rifhta for republteaUon af a pedal dhv
patrbeo herein are alao reeerrrel.
IIHkUl paper ot the City of Mrdford. I
Official paper ot Jackaon County.
Rwora daily aferage, ciralatlon for Oti
aaonUK anciinr April 1. 4nSt.
Adrertlalna; Itepreaeartatirre
, M. O. MlKUiNStS OKU CAJIT
Otfloap in Mew York, Ofcluuto, Detroit,
(an rraadaco, Lo Aiujelaa, Seattle. Forte
buid.
Ye Smudge Pot
B Arthur JPerrr .
Wc have Hwaiiowed the major j
portion of a druKHtorc. to dim-over (
)... la.... Ilia. I, ft iblili
mid not tho flu. caused the whoo(
Iiik palnn In the calf of tho ivg.
VroK 'onuo more Unit iiowm
liipep. milium nrc human. (Port
laud Telegram.) An, ho often huh
pectcd.
lt'41XT i:iu(atio
vM)i:itni.
(IViullctoii ICdht Oretfoulnii)
A Rirl nnd n boy, HtudenlH at
Ouorllii collepi). wero MaunterliiK
nlonff n inUiond track on the odKf
of their colleffc town thn other
oveultiK. A train appeared In the
dlHtunce, The hoy nugBeHted that
they nit on the (rack In front of
the approaching train mul nee who
dared Htay there tho loimoHt liefure
juntpinff out of the way. Tho trlrl
agreed. ,
. It ended Juki hh you would mip
pOHO.. Tho Rlrl, eiiKer to prove her
daring, Htayed too long ami Kt
hit. She Ih now In a hnnpltal with
n hroNon collui' hone, nnveral bro
hen rlbft and nome wevero hrulHPH,
And shr and the young man.. )mU
Klbly, feel that they have learned
topic! hint;.
Two inlHmeH were notel walktng
lo whool thlH mitrnfTw. n phenom.
-na that compares favorably with
thn' ccllpm) of the moon, 'said - to
: hare taken place at 12:11 this am.
Fog 'VrovnllM. This Is the atnio-
spheric nuisance that taxes the
klnlcft out of permanent waves, and
vcttlcs on tho long eyelashes, which
are. blinked furiously occasionally
to-attract attenilon, ;
' The son of the President Is ro
Inn to marry a Governor's daugh
ter. This does not neimi to be ns
much everybody's business as fur
morly. Owners of cows, horses, burros,
goals, mtilcs, and sheep, complain
of the number of auton on the
highways. ,
Several pnstal clerks aro
tig 1 from thinking about -
Christmas mall.
'.. VK JIl'MAN IIAi'K
,H tartes n pretty liuaginalion lo
shunt the optimism of tliuio who
hellrvo thai the various leagues,
alliances, conferences and mystic
liackslappliiBM currently hidng In
tltilged lu us ii slop to end wars
: will succeed In their lofly purpose.
Wars, may no more he got rid of
hy pueh means than smallpox or
luinliago may ho got rid of by
calling meetings. All the cool. I
culm, hurd common-sense und wis. !
doni In tli6 world cannot change
Jul iimn nature und Its Impulses,
and Iciikui'h-of nations, with Ihu
best of Intentions, cannot niter
. what has been unalterable wince
the second primordial man, for n
reuron lint may have been good or
bad, eracked the fhst man over
the head with ii ulub. , Man', ltn
pulse . lu fight has Its birth not , in
lito Cereluum but dowii In Ih tlark
eiillrrrs of hu emotional being, and
nothing la going to get It Into an
elevator.
It Is n platltudo that wars arc
started by inflaming the emotions
of n people. Inflnmmntion of the
emotions In ono of tho most
pleasurable phenomena that n peo
ple experiences.- whether It be In
duced by romuntie lovo, hoocc. an
ulipeul to thu fighting Impulse or
what nut. If wur Is to be ended,
therefore, a means must be hit
. upon tu Inflame n people's emo
tions In a relatively analogous, if
oblique, direction but with ti rela
tively analogous thrill und sutls
fnction. his. obviously, can't be
done by calling together represen
tatives In a hall In Hnitxrland
omo S5U0 miles awny or by get
ting a few elvilluns to shake hands
tu a London hotel yr a Hague
basilica. Tho bllslnesa, If It Is to
bo negot lated at all, but be ncf Mi
nted speclaculurty, romantically, In
. it way that . will appeal to the
people's Imagination us strongly us
the marching of brightly figged,
out eoldlers, the flying of brilliant
liunncrs, ihu nittlu of Inspiriting
drums and the I melodramatic,
round of cannon. The day that
sees moves -toward peace marked
with the anliie thrilling p.G-tiicii.
larlty und romance that mark
tnoves toward war .0 ace the
day of war n end but not Imforn.
v ' (.Mercury.)
Alaska mulls Africa. .
WAKHINC1TO.N (IP) The Inte
rior department says Alaska I"
liernmlng reeognlwil ns sriion.l
nly lo Africa n a ' iciradlxo '
JoC-ldfj (In inn Imnlnrs. '
H00VEE MEANT
DIKING tile eiiiiiiui;ii we frequently cullrd attention to the
fact tliut in his (iiiet, iimlniiiiatic fashion, Jlr. I louver was
ussiiinin) !iiiiU-i.lii of u new politieul )iirty in tins country.
1'liiK fuet whs revealed with particular clearness in Jiis Mailisim
Siinre speech in New York City, ami was foreshadowed in his
Hcccptiinee speech, when he
would he to abolish poverty,
sary and ever-present evil in AmiTi'ia's economic, system. ?
Vie reuli.ed this sKeiiicnt
our renders at the time. It was
more of the prevailing partisan
(fotlcii iis soon as the votes had been counted. . ;
lint we meant what we siiid then because we were convinced ;
Mr. Hoover meant what II K said. That reference to the abolish- i
incut of poverty was not a mere idle (rest urn, a hint of a sclf-J
'appointed "miracle man," to tfiirncr votes. It was the carefully
considered statement of au economic expert who sincerely be-!
licved that, if elected President, he could so perfect mid improve '
federal mid industrial methods
in the past could be. eliminated
,,,, . . . ,,
, f s tt . ' r
posat of Ciovenior UrcwsU-r, at the vvut (foveniors (.-oiifi-mwr
in Xew OrleaiiK, for a three billion dollar federal rervu f itml
in .1.. n.r Inlwir mmiiittlftviiipiit
10 do lor In tun tint liij10m lit
lias done ior financial panics.
Governor lirewster explained
ver's proposal and presented at the latter request. ' It was not
only entliusiastieally endorsed by tin; governors pfesiMit, but, by
the officials of the American Federation of Labor, i
. AVIien Mr. Hoover spoke of bettering eondilions hy yiviii"
every man u job, instead of giving the. uiieiiiployed jjovenuneiit
titles, his opponent dismissed
UU( Dlfjisinj; Dhrnses" mere mdlasscs to eatelL political flies.
I B 1 '
But those who believed in Hoover (ircctcd the slime slule
niciits us of fur rciiching import unci; mid destined to result in
epoch-making economic, and 'political consequences.
The Hoover partisans were right. What the opponents of
"Sir. Hoover failed to grasp particularly the Itepnbllcnii o)po-
ncnts, was that a new type of politieul candidate had entered
(he presidential field. lSeenusc Secretary Hoover slapped no
bucks and threw no derbies from the buck platform, because he
lacked magnetism and ''it," they dismissed' him and what he
said as merely more o.' the old stuffed shirt propaganda. An a
matter of fact, Mr. Hoover was giving the new stuff and Gov
ernor Smith the old. .
' , in other -words, Hoover, in his somewhat repressed, non
spectacular fusion, was drawing up a new program of action
'for the Iiepublican party, a program which briefly would not
onlv retain what is known as'Hig Business prosperity, but in
sure to the average man particularly the working man his
rightful share in that "pi-ospi'i-ity. . .
"Words, words, words," moaned the pinks and the super
uitclligcnt.ia. 1'recisely. ISut. words' which mean just what
they said, no more and no less. ' '
Itiimiinia is an efficient country. ; She got rid of her pro
fessional politicians without cluttering up the jails.
' ', ;
Americanism : Dieting ill order to loon skinny; wearing a
. . . - . . . i . ...
l'lir coat tlllll WOUIU mane linyuody iook sioiii.
ilnylie prosperity isn't rcl,
t li is other pants.
It is. understood that nothiiie;
lint it is hoped tt wood-will timr
A lot of promising football .tenuis have (.'one Democratic.
That is, they score ciioukIi points to win, lint let the other fel
Iw Kcore (no many.'
Models I'lnuiKi', but when you see the driver's leg hunting
over .the door, you know what kind of ear U is. '.'.,
JliiiiK'ary can make a new royal line, hut royally must make
its ni bee line when the reaction comes. ." t
ChlU. lluys V. H. Vlancs,
llAltUKN t'lTV. I.. -1. (!') Tho
.,.i,r ,,r t-liii., b,.s ordered
e
IS observation plums and nine
algn and iiianufacluro. Tho or-;
tier, placed with tho Curtlss Aero-: imrpuae, are must popular In lira-
pluiie Kxport corporation, cullsjjdl when ,bf American make. About
for sining delivery ot tho pliiu,es ,
at a cost of lTOU.tiOO.
Sill led 1 be fa'. 1
ASllKVIl.l.i;. N. f.-W When;
attorneys lu a ivll case were,
within SgB of a settlement 1U11I III
appeared the case would, cost
everal hundred dollars If It went 1
lo trial, Judge. ,1. Iloylo Mink rec-! beuullful countryside Is to !. sent
ommctided that uiiposlng counsel inn lour through the country In nn
"match lt out." They retired tuj effort to slop Hie destructUin or
the corridor and flipped coins. tmturiil rui-al beauty.
MUTT AND JEFF Mutt's Not a Hit and Run Driver Anway
TliATwAS . V m JFF. t' SORt I HIT I f-JTTTVP ffOU MU.T HAV BfiN I A . r
mutt in - T - fnTl v Mou "TH CAR BuTJ ) mg ani walk-inCj carglgssuV. - Ku, i'A X'VE' .teeAiA
THAT CAR: r4 I if J LT WAS ALL'VOURi r-T -4J ' ' p I'rA AM EKPERlEIMCSO MOT A ! I WALKING
THe BIG. J YyS&r 7 FAULT, r -1 W FAULT r DewetS. I've BEEN f . . NOVICE C!V ( for ovea i
WHAT HE SAID
declared one of his major iiiinsi
or at least remove it as a neces
was iiot taken very seriously by
ienernlly discounted us merely i
"lilall," which would be fur-
that poverty as it bus been known
in the future.
i . .:. .I. ' .
what lhc Federal Iieserve KVstem
vmil lilt l eutliu system
this was I'rcsidehOeleet IIoo
sueh talk as "vaue generalities
. .
,l.ut vn never I.e.- a ma., refer j
else enn overcome the murines,
ciin. ,'', '
- : spr-s !
.llnelielrs" l'roin V. N.
. MANAOK, llrnrall (VP) Mu-!u
. - betes, honvv knives which oriel-
nated'n, the t...iks and were !
-(widely used in Houth America j
-!for virtually every concclvalile
for virtually every
IfiUli are; iuirchascd monthly und I
Iii.r.lwuro: .Icab-is slock sharp.
, u ,., ,i,
""" v...o w
I'.il.n.l Klnli.u i
ai,,n.i 1..U...... I
f i
LONDON IPI A "tindery of i
Horrors'
500 pictures showing ;
modern vandalism of ICughiiid's
Personal Health Service
By WILLIAM BRADY, H. D.
Sijnad Vllfra Irnailiii to IK-rKOiiul hulll. ant h.-liaw. not to di.au. .liamio.la f
trial.. m. ai I- an.-rl t.y Or. Ilra.l, II a MJi.iil. rlf-ad.lmsal onirlour i loard.
l.tiu-ra .s.nii.1 b i,rif and wriiiiu in ink. owing 10 tiir Lia nutniM-r i Utii-i. i.-.
if.l-ii, ii.lv a li-w ...li In- anxwfritl I..-..-. No l-.l un bf ln.nl.- tit iimrtv. nut ..iiiful.u-
Intf to intttruclioiia. A,l,lre4 Or. William llr.i,h. In fare .it ttii newoiMjirr.
.. ....,. . ,
l KNTt ltlvS in i.urnnirs
Due partly t the Ineunnlderate In. Uut neither wonts normusie
way some people have of telling the j W to .ketch the bitter pain 1
Iriuli iilinnW ffi-l.-iin linfw i,r Itnwl-
nesn, luid the unfortuniUe habit
politician 'have of chqructcriziiiK
the propoHaltt of
)p p o n e n t a u
"nostrum," - the
popularity of me -
il Ic I n a I "sure
cures" In uppar -
ently waning. It
really began to
look us though
t!.. -r,, h.,
declined to be
a party to tho old
! frame: alas, the
l.iovfsart Jiuman iih the oilier ureal
1 tuii.....t,i.. .. ip... ,
mecllclnnl nostrum Is doomed to
, fjldc from )UbJic yew UHomHlI
j in o camniirjent to popular in -
v -TV
cure-uu wiuh ueen umut-numy it-ppeu on u ruie
r(.movea rom IhL. ,)Ul.lor lu),0 tuM,r pronunciation, namely, that u
the cupbourd In the woodHhed.
mainly hecausu itn fond patrons
could not stand ridicule. In a
ereat many hometi where thin re- AnMver. yes, tvllh the lireati-r
form has been brought .about the : HtrcNM on first yllahlc. Likewise
Quondam customer of ' Willis and ! atrophln. morphtn. xti-ychuln, vita
putioua notr turns to other diver- mill, hyoscln, st-opolamln. etc. You
slona and sooner or later the re-1 might net up a (food argument
formed medicine mimpler i pretty over my pronunciation of vitamin
bui c to be inlrlgucd by the plana-1 with, the fli nt 1 long, but these
Iblu fallacies of the food sharpers, j other words are now spelled wlth
lutriguct is the exact word; l.ont lhc final e by nearly every
mean deceived. The patent niedl-j scientific person. As for ruloa of
elncH in ul! their glory never hood-j spelling or pronunciation, 'teacher,
W'lnkcd people more, completely ji loi'g ago discarded them all. bc
thun those dietetic charlatans andja'auc I found' them too .ll-eacher-so-callcd
health foods are fooling our to depend tint '
the. wise ones today. Iteveal to
the untutored layman the fact that
1-1 elcconts are essential for .the
proper nutrition of man and you
can sell, lif in a package of hone
meal or, ground gravel at almost
any price, -or put your stock up.
In pill form, tell the customer It'
Is essential that the 1-1 elements i
bo combined In Just the right pro-!
portions the secret of the eorrect
combinations, being, the private
property of V few- mall order con
cerns, and your forluno is assured.
A guod example of the sort of
flapdoodle I am trying to unmask
is this paragraph from a page of
advice mailed to a reader by a
fake "doctor" who conducts a
health department In certain news-papei-H
of careless standards:
"It the trouble Is purely catar
rhal all fats and oils must be avoid
ed . . . milk should not be1
used at all, and onlv small umoulits
ui cicam auu Duller. n uioonvH
Ircam which has been full of cii-jy!?
irrh for ycurs will need a rest:''
from ail forms of carbohydrates
and. .hydrocarbons 1 .. .. The
fault lies only In lhc patient's diet
etic habits, and lhc cure reals ftyllh
hln power of will in using only (he
IKKIIIT fOUDS IX Till-: KIOHT
(WAV!"
The fake "doctor" (he Invariably i
cnllw hlniMclr "ilocfnl- " , ,11-!
-' ... I
t '
I pretends to be. for he Is too shfewd
-he law r
ers) sIiowh great skill In leading
! the prospect along the very edge
and then leaving him dangling
there. Kvcn if only one out of
every senre of prospects lilies, and
writes to the fake "doctor" lorj
further details ahout the rightj
foods In the right way, the game
pnys. .. i
"Hydrocarbons" are oils or fats: 1 nitllo bringing 'his voice into your
"carbohydrates" ore siarclus .Or!home tells you Hint the Atlnutlc
sugnrs: exclude these two kinds' uf
food nmteiiul from the diet and
you have nothing left lo eat but
pruteld. Air. Volhjulinur stcfuiis
soii has proved that one may live
quite comfortably on an exclusive
meat ((pruteld) diet for many
munlhs, lint tills self-styled "lloc-
lor nus no more rcasnn fir. ad-
"""" " " 'i uas tor
usmii nig iiioriuuaic rcauers timiiUint they hnvo eight million cus-
J""' " cure earner. , tomers 111 this and foreign coun-
""' "e iios.rum ami miacu -
"'' "'''; Rfenter now than j The small store keeper must j
ZL"Zu"t""Mnk'at'1-
"""" """ medicines. ,,..,,...., 'r." . ... ..,..!
-.....,,
- Vi i-Mtu. am Asn I.us
' i .Mclniiclioly Days to t ome, 0
- a latly poxts a card to say: "H
.li.r - n't M.,.., mil... r ..... 1
- ........
OIIM r.i.lo.H It Im li,ti .1,., .1.....,.
does not euro, I wrote to him a
i , ...
...,, HU iiihiii n'KU'i '"Iblrtli
state my stuinncil and uil.lrr.ua d I
envelupe has not come buck to
dnte." . 1
Answer. Oh, gosh: oh, gosh; oh.
Kcsh: oh, gosh. This Is the song
I Ing the first of 'every month
yo'u know when bills c.unr piling
1 ' " i"i
steulliiir. KtaiiiiiH iikuIh. . I found
. the . InUy'a K. A. H. In the "can't
i deliver" bin. with hundreds more
Just like li htiviui; unswei-H healed
within. So many unsvrera never
sent? Indeed it si-din a pity. The
: reason for auch carelessness? They
all reside in "City."
; hinofce.
1 sinoko but do nut Inhale. Will
Is a vugrant.lhis harm me in any way? II. D.
' Answer. It makes little differ-
ence. except that when you Inhale se is comwig in iw,wii years
ih. ,irL- , ii i- ....i.-Liv."""' an ' "Ke- to ltsef "'i'f't
: absorbed. Hut yeJu absorb just as
' KHiool Teui'lior C'oninlaliiH.
i- it .. v, i . id
the e In Iodine why not pU other S; tSWle U00m C0UIU 8U"
wortI(1 wlthout the fmm Mch aH!lhut 44
; dine. hute. bite, hope, etc.? You : Hut the ice will not have its own
; client final e m:iUon tho precudinu
- vtnve! lonK. Vo you want to pro -
iiounce it l-o-din? .M. D. II.
(Copyright, John K. Dllle Co.)
Tli- trouble wltli a presldeiitlnl j
landslide Ls that a lot o fourth
raters are drawn In by Hi- mo
mentum, .nr. nun .Mrs. laic .SXir
maid spent 111' week end with 'cm.
'(Copyright, .lohn Kr Dllle Co.)
Brisbane'sToday
(Continued l-'rom l.age One)
hear Mnrllnelll sln-tlng, nnd the
1 "cltlc chain stores hired him
lo sing.'
. f '
III one your Scars ltochiic.lt, mi
ller Us new president, Oenonil
Wood, n West Pointer, huvo opened
two new mull order nrunchos and
111 retail department stores and i
hnvo taken to selling coal In car-l
i, tad IoIh
.Monigoiucry Ward nimoiincc
itrios
Boy bublcs nrc morn dclleuin than
girl hublcs, more hoys than girls
die in Infancy. -
According to scientists of the
.1uer1ca11 iiisiiiiue. gaiiiereu 111
Vrt. v....b l.n. lu ... rl. ... .1...
. ,,"" '""i i- l'- - ...
I ductless glands, .'living ltttlo boys
bad sturt. even before their
, The pltullnry gland lu the head
Is ospcciallly important. -
Prisons might bo empty If we
knew now what wc shall kuow
some day about these ductless
glands, nnd the powerful products I
I
that they ur Into the Btreain ul
lile.
Some ut these glunds, necessary
to the proper development of the
female baby are useless, or posi-
j v" ' , .',, , J", v....
' No "De ,a complaining. Nature 13
partial to fiirla wisely, for they Cl'C'
jute the face.
I
I The health of men In our army
I,, beller lhlln lt lms eV(.r ,,(.eni
?nd ,ho "uic'.'10 n'Bnof , '"
; Lootlelng explains
Ainbassador .Morrow's mother ln-
law, pant SO, went flying with t.lnd-
Hergh. .Mis'. lieorBairr Collect, wlio
,says she has lived so long because
j she lives ill California, went flying
; with Chuck Howling, a, good pilot,
; in a monocoupe. She says "The
airplane is not so wonderful, not
j more wonuenui man niliroaus ot
which she also saw tho beginning.
-M
Professor C'olumau, of the t'nl-
7er!liy ,of Touto- f.".' another
I "A.-i'i
i ... , ,' rA,,n . tt.
' -iu i ice uuvu iwi. iiuck. iu
way, wnen next it cornea sliding
, and freezing over this earth. When
i you consider what men have ac
1 coinplluhed, in the 2tUUU yearn
i that separate us frum the stone
age, when flints, bows and arrowH :
were the only tools, you can -easily i
believe that in inu.000 years niore, '
men will know how to deal with !
any Ico age. '.
Heat, tapped In tho earth's In-'
tcrior, or surplus heat transported j
from tho equator, will attend to
tho ice problem. In 100,(100 yours,
men will control this earth.
Tho Macedonians say "the Itnl-,
garians are taking from us all the '
liberty that we won by. hard fight-;
ing from the Turks." Ami the pow i
ers aro worried by bloody Balkan i
fntirla nf thn nl,l bind
Franco and llritain have ordered j
the fighters to stop iktlitinB, pre- clll.ililma!, resents early in Xovcm
sumably in the name of. thie League ber llow Boes shopping on Decern
of Nations. 1 ,, .,, ,. ,,. ..r;imm iv
The world will watch tho result.
Macliailoff, leader of tho insurgent
Macedonians, seems to lie a hard
mini to frighten. To the Bulga
rian government's threats, Michal-
jlioff replies, "Any official who
'signs a decree ngainst mc slgnB
j his own death warrant."
Quill Points
The first and best co-educational
institution was the school of ex
perience. Philadelphia criminals have a
hard time. They keep bumping
into policemen, even In jail.
I its easy to estimate ine genu
; ineness of our prosperity. The
more prosperous peopTe" 'are7 flu?
worse their manners.
Why don't the police catch the
big crooks? Well, why don't all
tie S10o-a-montli fellows outguess
Wall street?
"Mutter apparently destroyed re
appears In tv new form." This Is
especially true of tho Inst fly.
Disposing of used -' razor -blades
is a minor problem
compared with disposing .. of
used gum. .. ..
Doubtless It has occurred to you
that .Mr. Hoover will be tho Ural
to servo n third term. , ''
Tho lovo ot money Is the foot ut I
nil evil, nnd also of a considerable
portion of "sport."
., , ' - '
.no un... ntio ill si said puilllis
iniikca strange ; bed Tcllows prob
ably r went campaigning mid slciH
in a hick-town hotel.
i
wl7o".. ii""' tlio bl fclluwa cot I
1.1X1! Just so you ct yo " '
. - - '
An orator says tho boy taught to f'
play a snxapuono won t blow a, sum.
The choico affords an. excellent ex
amplo ot doublo Jeopardy. .
You can tell a radical by, tho wild
look In Ills eye. Hut there Isn't
any universal symbol of conserva
tism excopt suspenders.
There's n difference, lit the Old
tlnys men drunk' beer ;iiku water.
Now they drink water : somewhat
like beer. '7 ; , ,
The girl who once began work on
Rippling
Rhymes
11 y Wall Mason.
THE BEST WE CAN
We do our best, and If our
bftt is cheap, Us vain to mourn
aud wring our hands and weep.
1 cannot sin us GalUCurei
ingH, 1 cannot walk with mu
sic's queen and IUiih; but I can
warble sweet old homely lays
the pcop;e cii.-.pcd on golden
yesterdays: ami if the neih
bors nimnur and condole, and
show their wrath by heaving
shunks of coal, or calling cops
to stop the musiefest, my con
science smileH, i know I've done
my best; lu art 1 know Vyn not
a master mind; but I can paint
the barn and fence and shed a
lot-ely green, a fine and subtle
red; 1-paint the pmnp, 1 paint
tho cellar door, 1 paint the
clothes horse ami the kitchen
floor. I know full well my ef
forts won't compare with those
of artists who have flowing hair,
and Vandyke beards, and who
forever speak a janjon weird,
the which to me is Greek, lint
people pause to view the work
I've done, they see my shanty
shining In the sun. nnd Hay my
taste in colors Is so viie I should
be jailed and kept (here for t
while. Hut well I know they
envy me my abode, on which the
pahit I've lavishly bestowed,
and they'll' be spurred to do
some painting, too, to make
their barns a lovely pink or
blue, and so tho town will much
improvement know and men
will say. "Old I'miktown is
nslow." We do our best in nny
sort of line, and the result, how
ever far from fine, example sets
for. other men to test; they shed
thoir coats and also do their
best.
them.".
Speaking of silent drama, '
there's mother's face when dad
asks for more at a company
dinner when there isn't any
.more.
:
For that matter you seldom see
a bronze statue ot a man who do-
tl tjbi w
voted his life to tho exposing of.... ; on . strt,nirth of its
official corruption.
Onn itn.lintlo foatii,',, i.f the. lalo !
m.,(.,, , . . I
lief that its campaign lo eliminate
.bunk-.was clever and funny
It . takes three generations fn
make u cntIoman. but three good
guesses on the stock market seem
to serve about as well.
,
$100 making whoopo with frlendR t
mm nlfrli. " util.l .l,n irnoalit "till, tin
! never' brags ahout it." !
(onstipated?
Tak. (A NATURE'S REMEDY-tonitdit.
i our uliminallvcon-anawlll bo functioning
pr,0.. "v smrninif and youroarmlliiatfou
will end with a bowpl re-lion an fne and
co.y u nnture at hur beat ao pain, no
K.ipiaK. .rjf ii. vniy zic.
Mild, safe, purely vegetable
Recommended end Sold by
All 8 Medfon, riglsls
Chiropractic Naturopathy
Dr. H. P. Coleman
J 8th Successful Year In Modfnrd
TroatmontB by Appointment
Medford Cente
EI9ctro.Barpy
. .
I Center Bids. : Phone 965
Food Science
m and holly sts. Phon 244
A Compute Cleaning and
Dyeing Seryicb
. v. -
Kt k tl C p
T7 - - ' I
r "-' -i 11 ri 1 --ii i-
Hollywood
j , liy VaU Werner.;
HOLLYWOOD. Cul. Youiih
folks who used to slay at home und
look at the family altim -ko to
the movies nowadays ' when they
feel like Kazlmat plot urea. The
picture celebrltlea tlieniselves, how-
, ver, Htill enjoy un
ocL-ii-sioiiti; evuii-
at h o in e withl
their photoKraphj
ull'Umx.
Them llJUlnl
do not lack por-
traits of l'nele
: John anU Aunt
Lizzie, provldlnjil
' they also were
s t a p e folk or
players in cellu
loid, but most ofi
! the pictures pre-
, served in them
'are what studio Norma Talimtdge
h a ii g u a g e de-
1 seribes as "production stills." These
photographic souvenirs ' of scenes
they have played in various t
! dramas are among the most precj
1 luus possessions of the stars.
SnapsliotH of SiHt-Vs. '
J.on Chancy, for example, values
stilln from "The Mlnu le:.lan" and
"The Hunchback of Notro l)an'M
. more than their weight in gold,
i Norma TalnVadce deltuhts Ih pie
j tures of the early flicker period
' when film Ingenues wore dresses
i down to the ground. John CS 11
! bert's pet stills show him In various
fold William Hart westerns and In
'"Aitntttin nf Vtmceancc." the film
in whieh he p:aycd ills first lead
more than 10 years 'ago. or'in "Tho
lg Parade," which, mudo' him t
really famous. The stllfs :value.A-
most highly by Greta Oarho are
i from the Swedish production.
"Gosla IterUng." I-w Cody's al
bums date back to 1H15. when he
played in "Muting," while Lionet
Harry more has pictorial remind
ers of roles he enacted for the cam
era as early as H109.
So lt still is no breach of eti
quette in Hollywood to suy: "Let's
not goito tho movies tonight.? Let's
stay home tfnd look through theso
albums."
Chorus or Birds and lieu Is.
Producers of talking picturen so
fur have overlooked the oppor
tunity to develop Hinging and talk
ing stars among the birds and
beasts. Hut the owners of these
so-called "dumb creatures" are
! clamoring for action. One 'man
who is especially proud of his
trim.( mit ,mH )ersiia,1(M
,.llllflv ,n,.(.,.ioi- t,. ,.iv tin
alleged ubilily to sing "Over
i There." "It's a Long Way to Ber
I i ix. nn.1 '1 m rorever
lin d 1' m Forever 1 '.low 1 iik
I B'""'"'a " nuymond McKee. the
! comedian, lias a sad-eyed hound
l that says Mtima. and ll probably
' will not: be long before someoif(
urrlves In Hollywood with a tralnf
c1 can drape Itself over
In lmi!s '"" nnrt sing "Sweet Ade-
: line." . . ...
Florizel
Chocolates
.irr ncii j.t :he rr.c.'ai?.. ,
:r.g p:o:c:r.s jrri CJrbo-'
hvJrjifs thai PEP yea
L'P. S!:ch loodi arc r.cl
j:cr.;r-3. ; . .
M .1 Ih Sn . V.,-,l
Vloritcl Chocolates are Available nt
. Jarmin & Woods Drug Co.
A Why be satisfied with n
ready-made suit when you
can have an ,
Ed. V. Price A
OR
M. Born
Suit, tailored to ' your
measure, for
$25 up
A fit or your money back.
The Men's Shop
Next' to Rialtb
3y BUD FISHER
o
r-i -
,"iw x f