ESCAPES WEIRD FATE
N o t a dr^p
o f A lcohol
DIVER IS HELD UNDER WATER
BY MONSTER ABALONE.
H O S T E T T E R ’S
STO M A CH
Doctors prescribe very little, If
any, alcohol these days. They
prefer strong tonics and altera
tives. This is all in keeping
with modern medical science.
It explains why Ayer’s Sar
saparilla is now made entirely
free from alcohol. Ask your
doctor. Follow his advice.
Wrenches Himself Free When Almost
Drowned—His Fingers Were Bad
ly Lacerated by the 8hell
of Mollusc.
W e p u b lis h o u r fo rm u la *
m
W e b a n is h a lc o h o l
f r o m o u r m e d io in * *
W # a r g * y o u to
o o n e u lt y o u r
d o c to r
A i/ers
Unless there is daily action of the bow
els, poisonous products are absorbed,
causing headache, biliousness, nausea,
dyspepsia. We wish you would ask your
doctor about correcting your constipation
by taking laxative doses of Ayer's Pills.
■— M a d « b y t h a .T r* 4 « -« r r*»»
T .e w a ll. M a e « .
■
P
0IVE Y0U
KODAKS
BOYNTON FURNACES
S E N D F O R C A TA LO G U E.
T u m o rs , G o ite rs , R h e u m a tis m
Clironicv Nervous and Female Diseases
A re cu red w ith o u t th e k n ife .
T horoughly
equ ip p ed S an ato riu m . B e a u tifu l location. Rate«
th e low est. W rite fo r lite ra tu re .
Meadow Glade Osteopathic Sanitarium
Bottle Ground, Wash.
h.MmiCCtm, Pkrdcaa
^C O FFEE t >
TE A SPICES
BARINO POWDER
> EXTRACTS
J U S T RIOHT
HIS i)E A T H THOUGHT A JOKE
Earl Stowe, a Practical Jester of Mas.
slllon. Hangs Himself as
Frland Reads.
Massillon, O.—All of Earl Stowe’s
friends knew be was a practical Joker,
so when he hanged himself on the
porch of the Simpson hotel one eve-
nlng. Just to show bow It was done,
nobody paid any attention to him. A
man who didn't know Stowe’s reputa
tion as a Joker came along and start
ed an Investigation, which showed the
joke bad been carried too far and
that the man was dead. Edgar Smith,
who sat near reading a magazine, paid
no attention when Stowe began to
gasp, for he bad been fooled so often
by Stowe that he did not care to be
fooled again.
GIRL
OF
NINE
IS A THIEF
New York “Strong Arm" Men Pick
Her Up ae a Most Clover
PIckpockaL
New York.—The yoangeit girl pick
pocket ever seen In the children’s
court In New York city raced Judge
Hoyt the other day and was turned
over to the Children’s society pending
further Investigation of her case. Her
name la Concotto Ingloso. She de
clares she was In the game of pick
ing pockets five weeks before being
caugbL that she was taught to be a
thief by a strange man and that aha
received 41 cents a day for her work.
Detective Wertheimer of the "strong
arm” squad and Detective Wittenberg
were detailed to bag the "big game"
that was working In the central part
Learn a Profession where the de of New York city, when they wars
mand is greater than the supply.
startled to sen a little girl deftly put
her band Into a woman's apron pocket
honorable. Dignified, Lucrative and withdraw a pocket book Hoping
W rite fo r L ite ra tu re and inform ation. I t wfB to find her confederate they trailed
ha t a Y O U R ad v a n tag e.
her and saw her repeat the trick IS
Invalids and o th e n needing skilled treatm en t
times, each time placing the poc*et
w rite for particular*.
4M Co—iionnaaMi BMf„ Portland. OP. book In a large handbag she carried
The Dawn of Scientific Knowledge
B I T T E R S
Avalon. Cal.—Many years ago Vic
tor Hugo wrote in his “Tollers of the
Sea” a wonderful bit of description
wherein he pictured a man slowly
sinking to suffocation In a quicksand.
Clarence Brodle got some Inkling of
the sensations of such a death In the
HEARTBURN
waters near here. Brodle, who Is an
expert diver was caught under wa- ■
POOR APPETITE
ter by bis fingers by au abalone and
INDIGESTION
held there until he thought be was
COSTIVENESS
about to drown.
He succeeded In wrenching himself
MALARIA
loose with badly torn digits and now
the gentle one-shelled mollusc is a take the Bitters first. You will
thing of terrible menace to him.
find it exceedingly helpful.
There have been many tales and
traditions up and down the California
coast of how fishermen and others
have groped along the bottom when
Deceltrul.
the tide was low. how they have had
their bands caught In the terrible
Senator Sutherland, of Utah, ac
grip of the abalone. how they were cording to the Star, said at a luncheon
held as the yde rose higher and high in Washington of a bill that had been
er until they drowned or how they defeated:
desperately chopped off the Impris “ It deserved defeat, for it was full
oned member to get free. Brodle had of g ra ft The grafters, in their dis
something of such an experience here. appointment over it, reminded me of
Accompanied by two companions be the heirs of old George Smith
“ Old George Smith was a million
went out to gather some abalones.
Diving to the bottom, Brodies made aire, and his nephews and nieces had
the mistake of trying to tear one of done very little hustling since their
the abalones loose by clawing his childhood because they expected to
fingers under the rtm of Its shell. In inherit all his money.
"Well, old Smith died in due course
stantly the powerful muscles of the
mollusc closed down the shell on the and a short time after his death
rock to which It clung and Brodle met one of his nephews.
" ‘So your uncle is no more, I said.
found himself held helpless.
His breath was becoming exhausted What did he leave?’
The nephew answered with a bitter
as he struggled to free bis fingers
and finally with one supreme wrench aneer:
he tore the fingers from under the " ‘A golden-haired young widow, of
abalone shell and rose to the surface. whose existence wa had never
His fingers were badly lacerated and dreamed.’ ”
he may carry the scars as a souvenir
S h a le e i n t o T o u r S h o e *
of his adventure for life.
Poitr’s Dilemma.
Thomaa W. Lawson, the financier,
was talking to a reported about a New
York capitalist, says the St. Louis
Globe-Democrat.
"W ell,” said Mr. Lawson, " I have
heard that man tell the truth once or
twice. He can tell the truth, I admit,
but it doesn’t come natural to him.
He reminds me of the Russian mujik.
"A Russian mujik sat one day in
the ante room of the military commis
sioner of his town. There was an anx
ious frown on his face.
A friend
approached and said:
“ ‘What’s the matter, PoitrT’
" ‘la m worried,’ Poitr answered,
‘about my son. I don’t known what
to say when the commissioner asks
me about his age. You see, If I make
him out younger than he is he will be
sent back to school, and if I make him
out older they’ll stick him in the
army. What the deuce am I to doT’
“ ‘How would it do,’ said the
friend, thoughtfully, ‘if you told the
commissioner his exact age. T’ ”
Poitr slapped is leg and laughed de
lightedly.
“ ‘The very thing!’ he cried. ‘I
never thought of that. ’ ”
ARE NO “ HOLES IN TH E AIR”
BEST BLUING MADE.
ttald to Be Merely a Convenient E)^
Twenty years’ experience back of
planatlon of Accidents Met by
RED CROSS BALL BLUB. Every
Aviators.
housewife that uees It will have no
other. It is the only blue that Is
all blue.
New York.—An assumption that
Liquid bluing Is discarded forever there exist In the atmosphere certain
after RED CROSS BALL BLUE Is "holea,” or, as they are more often
tried. Makes clothes clear and white. called, "pickets,” serves In a way as a
Large package 10 cents. AT ALT,
convenient explanation of such acci
GROCERS.______________
dents to aviators as the one that re
"W illy,” said mamma, severely, as cently brought the fearless Mars to
she noted his dilapidated condition, the ground with somewhat disastrous
consequences.
“ you’ve been fighting again.”
"Yes, mamma.”
The way, however, is much such a
"And didn’t you promise me that way as that in which the old theory
when you wanted to hit anyone you of miasms from swamps or newly
would always stand still and count a turned ground explained malaria and
hundred?”
Justified the old fears of night air. Wa
"So I did, mamma. And this is know now, of course, that night air is
what Jacky Jones did while I was Just as good as day air—which Is for
counting.” —London Chronicle.
tunate, since at night we have no oth
He—I suppose you were fishing when er—and we would also know, If we
stopped to think, that the aerial ocean
you caught me?
She—Well, I used to think so, but Is far less likely to have holes, or pock
now I know I must have been bear ets, In It than Is the ocean of water,
which doesn't have them and couldn’t
hunting.
What both of these oceans do have are
currents—motions of their particles In
WE BUY OLD GOLD all directions under the Influence of
H ig h e s t price« paid fo r S ilv e r, O ld J e w e lry , G old various differences of pressure—and
T e e th , Ctc. U N C L E M Y E R S. F o rty year« in as air is vastly more mobile than wa
P o rtla n d . 71 S ixth, b etw e en O ak and P ine.
ter the effect of like Influences on It Is
the production of greater and more
complex motions.
1
'
PlIMML StlVICI
Therfe is not the slightest excuse for
0. 0. MARTIN,
>H1 AW««- supposing that Its falls are Into
"war“ »D°ôSï,r"
hr Information "holes," which word would Imply the
presence In the air of spaces approach
ing more or less closely the condition
AND KODAK
of
vacuity. All the effects of such a
S U P P L I E S
W rite fo r catalogue« and lite ra tu re .
D eveloping space, so far as balloons and aero
and p rin tin g . Mali order« given p ro m p t atten tio n planes go, would follow
a sudden
F orti and P h o to S u p p ly Co.
149 T h ird S tre e t
P O R T L A N D . ORB. passing from a horizontal, or ascend
ing. current to one moving downward.
This would require an Instant read
justment of the supporting and pro
pulsive forces at the aviator's com
M ost econom ical and effective for house
mand. Usually he can make It, but
and school h ea tin g .
sometimes he cannot restore the
J. C BAYER EURNACE CO.
equilibrium of his machine In time
front and Market Sts.
Portland, Or. and then he tumbles to the ground.
ATENTS
LTH E K E Y S TO N E j
TO H EA LTH
IS
RECIPROCITY
IS DEFEATED
Laurier, Premier for 20 Years,
Is Down and Out.
Conservatives Win by Big Majority in
Canadian Parliament—Annexa
tion Talk Blamed.
Montreal, Canada—The Laurier gov
ernment and reciprocity suffered an
overwhelming defeat in the Canadian
elections Thursday.
By a political landslide the Liberal
majority of 43 was swept away and
the Conservative party secured one of
the heaviest majorities, upward of 60,
that any Canadian party has ever had.
Seven cabinet ministers who have
served with Premier Laurier wer«
among the defeated candidates.
The Liberals lost ground in prac
tically every province of the dominion.
Where the Conservatives won their
majorities were tremendous. Ontario,
the leading province of Canada, de
clared almost unanimously against the
administration and reciprocity.
R. L. Borden, leader of the Con
servative party, will shortly become
the prime minister of Canada. He
will be supported in parliament by a
working majority of members far
more than ample for his purposes.
The government defeat means that
the Fielding-Knox reciprocity agree
ment, ratified by the American con
gress in extra session, will not be in
troduced when the Twelfth parliament
assembles next month, and that a re
vised basis of trade with the United
States, looking to closer commercial
relations, will not be possible in the
immediate future.
The Conservatives are committed to
a policy of trade expansion within the
empire and a closed door against the
United States.
Although re-elected in two constit
uencies in Quebec, the defeat of the
Liberal party also means the retire
ment from public life of Sir Wilfrid
Laurier, who for nearly two decades
has directed the destinies of the do
minion.
Several times during the bitter
campaign which preceded this election
the venera'ble premier said that defeat
of his party at the polls meant the end
of his career; that he never could con
sent to lead a minority in opposition
to a Conservative government.
A Liberal membership of 53 from
Quebec was cut down to 36, which,
taken alone, seriously threatened the
supremacy of the party. But it was
in Ontario that the Conservatives won
their greatest victory.
APPLE BUSINESS GROWS.
Northwest Will Soon Market 100,000
Carloads Per Year,
Spokane, Wash. — " I t is no idle
statement to say that in a compara
tively few years there will be 100,000
carloads of apples marketed from
Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and Mon
tana alone.”
This statement is contained in a
letter received by the management of
the National Apple show from Howard
Elliot, president of the Northern Pa
cific Railway company, forwarding a
subscription of (1,000 for the railroad
and (250 as a personal contribution to
the fourth annual competitive exposi
tion and Enakops street carnival, No
vember 23 to 30.
“ The National
Apple show, by bringing together the
best minds in the business, is a po
tent factor in helping to place the
apple industry upon a sound, scientific
and commercial basis,” Mr. Elliott
says. "The day of the commercial
orchard has come, not alone in the
West, but all over the country, and
men are giving the same careful and
thorough attention to the production
of apples that is devoted to the mak
ing of steel or to any other business
that is conducted with skill and intel
ligence.
“ The study and attention and care
given to the production of fruit by the
grower, must, as the production in
creases, be supplanted by efforts for
publicity as to the many uses of the
apple, by combined efforts for wider
markets and by additions to the pres
ent facilities for storage and trans
portation.
“ Therefore, it will be necessary for
the apple grower to do what the grain
grower has done.
This means that
as the production increases the grower
must have facilities at his home or
chard, at the nearby station and
throughout the country to properly
care for his crop to receive the best
market prices.”
LIVE STOCK WORTH $91,628,400
Dr, Withycombe of O. A. C. Tails
Interesting Facts at Banquet.
Oregon Agricultural College, Cor
vallis—That the annual live stock pro
t i t a n 's F o o t-E a se , a p o w d e r f o r th e f a s t. I t co rse
duction of the state is worth (91,689,-
p a in fu l, aw ollen, s m a r tin g , s w e a tin g f a s t. M a li«
n ew shoes s e a r . S o ld by a ll D ru g g is ts an d Shea
400, was stated by Dr. James Withy-
S to res. D o n ’t a c c e p t a n y s u b s titu te .
combe, director of the experiment sta
F R E E . A d d ress A . S . O lm sted . L e Roy. N . Y .
tions at the State Agricultural Col
lege, in an address at the annual ban
Usually the best way to use nitrate
quet of the Oregon Pure Bred Live
of soda for a fertilizer is to pulverize
Stock association at the State fair.
it so that there are no large roils, and
His statistics were as follows:
sow it in the dry form. If it is to be
673,760 cattle valued at (13,475,000;
used on garden, or grain crops, then
176.000 dairy cows at $7,000,000;
broadcast it'and harrow or cultivate
295.000 horses at (432,638,000; 8,670
the land at once, and get it into the
mules at (1,040,400; 2,401,000 sheep
soil. If in the orchard or small fruit
at (9,604,000; 324,000 hogs at (3,-
plantation, then scatter it around tha
888,000; 220,000 goats at (880,000;
individual plants and raka it in with a
20,000,000 pounds of wool at (4,000,-
rake, or cultivate it in with a shallow
000; 880,000 pounds of mohair at
cultivator.
We usually recommend
(264,000; dairy products at (14,000,-
from three-fourths to one half a pound
000; and poultry at $5,000,000, mak
of nitrate of soda per old apple tree,
ing at total of (91,689,400.
and from one ounce to three ounces
C. L. Hawley of the college board
per young apple tree.
Great care
of regents was reelected president at
must be used in ^using it, or it will
the annual meeting, and H. C. Marris
burn the plants.
was made secretary.
The meeting
was addressed by Prof. Carlyslc of
Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets regulute
Idaho, Prof. Van Pelt of Iowa, and
WITNESS DISAPPEARS.
and invigorate stomaah, liver ana bow
President W. J. Kerr of O. A. C.
els. Sugar-coated, tiny, granules, easy
to take. Do not gripe.
Los Angeles Dynamiting Case Takes President Kerr spoke on the advan
tage of agricultural education, the
New Turn.
necessity of getting the boys inter
In charcoal-burning stumps, if hoi
Los Angeles—The sudden departure ested in farming early, and other farm
lows are in them, these should be filled
with dirt sufficiently to prevent the from.Albuquerque, N. M., of an im problems.
draft from coming through the hollow, portant witness for- the state in the
and the heat escaping that way.
ROYAL HIGH CLERK FOR O. A. C.
Usually cedar stumps grow on wet, coming McNamara trial, was [reported
swampy soils, and we have found it by wire here to the prosecution.
Fine Additions to College Swine Herd
very hard to burn them, except in the
The witness is D. K. Diekelman
Bought at State Fair.
very dry season, and then the land who was night clerk at the New Bal
Oregon Agricultural College, Cor
should be well drained before a t timore hotel in this city September 29
tempting it. It is impossible to burn 1910, 48 hours before the Times ex vallis—Royal High Clerk, last year’s
champion Berkshire boar at the state
into the water.
plosion, when a man registered there fair, which also won a second this
as ” J. B. Bryce.” Diekelman is said year at Salem, has just been bought
"The woman who did ths shooting by the authorities here to have identi by the Oregon Agricultural college
fied J. B. McNamara later as the man from Barrows & Davenport, of Crab
is an actress, of course?
who registered as "B ryce.”
"N o .”
tree, Ore., for the purpose of starting
‘‘Authoress, then?”
Recently Diekelman left the employ a new Berkshire herd on the college
"No, just an ordinary individual
of the hotel management and has been farm. He is one of the finest Berk
"H um ,” said the city editor; “ that working for a railroad restaurant sys shire boars in Oregon.
is a bigger sensation than I thought.” tem. He has been gradually working
Eight small pigs were also pur
^-Washington Herald.
his way East, it is said, and reached chased by the college for use on the
Albuquerque about three weeks ago. demonstration train which ia to go up
Crawford—You aay this contrivance The prosecution had ita agents where through Sherman, Gilliam and Morrow
they would keep in touch with him.
ia an entirely original invention?
counties, through the dry farming sec
Crabshaw — Why, man, it’a some
tion, in October.
There are two of
Warship Hit* Linar.’
thing that wasn’t even in use among
each of the four breeds, Poland China,
Southampton, Eng. — The great Berkshire, Chester White and Du roc
the Chinese thousands of years ago.—
New York Times.
steamship Olympic, of the White Star Jersey.
line, largest liner in the world, which
left Southampton shortly before noon
She—But how did you make the ac
Thursday crowded with returning quaintance of your second husband?
American tourists, lies off Calshot
Bertha—It was quite romatic. I
Castle, at the entrance to Southamp was out walking with my first when
to n water, with a gaping hole in her my second landed on him with an aero
side as the result of a collision with plane.—Milwaukee Daily News.
the British protected cruiser Hawke.
Fortunately no lives were lost and of
Chappie — Have a cirgarette, old
the 2,000 or more passengers and man?”
crews of the vessel none were injured.
Sapleigh—No; I don’t smoke fool-
killers.
Railroad Has Big Deficit.
Chappie—Well, I don’t blame you
New York — The annual report of for refusing to take chances.
the Missouri Pacific railroad for the
year ending June 30, 1911, shows a
hat has become of that man who
WasCured by LydiaE. Pink- deficit of 15,232,539. Gross earnings said "W Mars
is habitable?’’
decreased only (242,544, the total be
the mistake of convinc
ham’s Vegetable Compound ing (52,776,692. Operating expenses ing "H too e made
many people.
There wasn’t
Elwood, Ind.—"Y our remedies have increased (6,782,664.
Net income enough skepticism to keep up a fairly
cured me and I have only taken six shows a decrease of (6,657,216, with interesting controversy. ” — Washing
bottles of Lydia E. lin k ham’s Vegeta a decrease in the net surplus of (7,-
ton Star.
ble Compound. I 991,950.
The surplus, which was
was s i c k t h r e e
(16,655,587
a
year
ago,
has
been
re
months and could
“ 1 wish no pay for this poem," re
n o t w alk. I suf duced to (9,148,252. The St. Louis marked the long-haired individual.
fered all the time. A Iron Mountain’s surplus is cut from ‘I merely submit it as a compliment.”
The doctors said I (1,426,297 to (111,968.
“ Then, my dear sir,” replied the
could not get well
editor, with true journalistic courtesy,
without an opera
2,000 Chinese are Slain.
“ permit me to return the compli
tion, f o r Z could
Cbeng-tu—It is estimated that a to ment.”
h a r '.l v stand the
pains In my slues, tal of 2,000 insurgents besieging
especially my right Cheng-tu have been killed. The fore
BELMONT AUTO SCHOOL
one, and down my ign residents have not yet been able to
tm «H St eta tra * S n t a ■ tata,
right leg. I began leave the capital. Chao Ehr Feng,
w
P » n i t r i t a « k i n t a s i ta»
to feel better when I had taken only military commander of Cheng-tu, 're
Ita» «ta. M inn mi tatas
one bottle of Compound, but kept on ports that the insurgents have organ
fita statai «ta t ta» mi tata
T ta n ta US cata MS
as I was afraid to atop too soon.”—Mrs.
Statata Sta pm «ta
S a d i e M u l l e n , 2728 N. II. St., EL ized posses of artillery and are numer
■amar «uro scasai
ically strong. As fast as one force is
wood, Ind.
CALICI
Why will women take chances with disposed of others appear, he said.
ita
o ja l aitata, r-tatao.
an operation or drag out a sickly, Refugees arriving here from the dis
half-hearted existence, missing three- turbed districts of Sze-Chuen report
fourths of the joy of living, when they that they received fairly good treat
can find health in Lydia E. Ilnkham ’a ment while traveling.
Vegetable Compound ?
T » N u m b e r of I n t r i M fo r « » o h P er— n
For thirty years It has been the
in th ie P ris e C e n t— «.
Colony Loaea *38,000.
standard remedy for female Ills, and
$ 5 0 For the Best Trademark
haa cured thousands of women who
Everett, Waah.—A jury decided
bar* been troubled with sue»* • * that W. A. Alloway and wife were
$ 2 5 For the Best Motto
ven ts as displacements, InfiammatWa, still mentally incompetent to handle
E n try In e a c h «’I s m will he « electe d w h ich
ulceration, fibroid tumors. Irregulari their affairs, and by this verdict frus beat
ad v ertlees th is R trong. g ro w in g , r ig o r
ties, periodic pains, backache, lndlge»
o tis. wHNtcm c o m p a n y w hich w rite* a lib e ra l
trated Alloway’s intention to take (3,-
life in s u ra n c e p o licy , c o n ta in in g a c c id e n t an d
tion, and nervous prostration.
h e a lth fe a tu re * , an d w hich in v e sts It« funds
I f y o u h a v e t h e s l i g h t e s t d o n M 000 to California and give it to
to help th e W est. C o n te st close« H ept. 90.
t h a t L v i ll a E . I ’ l n k n a m ’s \ <v - Prophetess Fanetta Weiss, of the so-
•» B lo iw a its , $ 3 4 1 . Y a m h ill* « ..
t a b l e C o m p o u n d w i l l h e l p y o n , called Christian
P o rtla n d , C a n . A g t.
Assembly colony.
w r i t e t o .Mrs. I r in k h a m a t L y n n , Alloway haa already 'given her about
Continental
Life Insurance A In
M a s s ., f o r a d v i c e .
Y o u r l e t t e r (40,000 and she haa taken seven of his
w ill b e a b s o lu te ly c o n f id e n t ia l
vestment
Company
* JL±!
children and nine other persona from
U s* a d v i c e t r e e .
■«Ctatata Ifeta. I» S lab» O r
here to the colony.
WOMAN
ESCAPES
OPERATION
NO L I M I T
Women
s Secrets
There is one men in the United Statee who has perhaps heard
more women's secret» than any other man or woman in the
country. The— secrete are not secrets of guilt or shame, but
the sec rets of suffering, and they have been confided to Dr. <
R. V. Pierce in the hope and expectation of advice and help.
That lew ol these women have been disappointed in their ex
pectations is proved by the fact that ninety-eight per cent, ol
•11 women treated by Dr. Pieroe have been absolutely and
altogether cured. Such • reoord would be remarkable if the
cases treated were numbered by hundreds only. But when
that reoord applies to the treatment ol more than hsif-e- mil
lion women, in a practice of over 40 years, it is phenomenal,
and antities Dr. Pierce to the gratitude accorded him by women, as tha first ol
specialists in tho treatment of women’s diseases.
Every sick woman may consult Dr. Pierce by letter, absolutely without
charge. All replies are mailed, sealed in perfectly plain envelopes, without
any printing or advertising whatever, upon them. Write without f—r os with
out too. to World's Disponsary Medical Association, Dr. R. V. Pieroe, Pros!..
Buffalo, N. Y.
D R . P I E R C E ’S F A V O R I T E P R E S C R I P T I O N
■ W e ta ls . W o m e n S t r o n g ,
B l o k W o m e n Y R T e ll,
Ministerial Piracy,
Trapped.
Dr. C. W. Aked, the famous minis
Mayor Gaynor was talking to a New
York correspondent of the Washington ter, responded to (the toast of "Elo
Star about a famous robbery case quence” at a banquet at San Francis
wherein a criminal had been convicted co.
"B ut it is better to be silent,” said
by means of the Bertillon system of
Dr. Aked in concusion, “ than to be
finger prints alone.
“ It reminds m e," said tha mayor, eloquent by unfair meant.
"There was once a divina whose
“ of a story about a parson. This
parson had a Ane orchard, and one good wife said to him:
“ ‘James, dear, the Rev. Dr. Tenth
summer, just when the Bertillon sys
tem came out, the orchard was robbed. ly has made over (200 by the publica
Tho only clew left was the robber’s tion of a volume of sermons. You
finger print on an over-ripe peach. preach much better than Dr. Tenthly,
The parson had a photographic en dear. Why not print a few of your
largement of the finger print made. sermons?’
“ ‘My love,’ the man whispered
Then, with this enlargement under
his arm, he accosted in the main street hoarsely, ‘they were ail printed long
the man whom he suspected of the ago.’ ”
thefL
There’s another movement on in
“ ‘Pete,’ ha said, ‘somebody robbed
New York to pay school teachers al
my orchard last night.’
"P ete took hia pipe from hia mouth. most half as much as policemen and
He gulped nervously.
‘Is that so, nearly as much as crossirg sweepers.
This is an age of extiavagancel—
air,’ he said.
“ ‘Yes, Pete, that’s so,’ said the Louisville Courier-Journal.
parson; ‘but the thief left hia mark
behind, and I shall easily trace him.’
“ ‘Yes, sir?’ said Pets huskily, and
he cleared his throat.
“ ‘Yea. Do you see thia, Pete?’
And the preacher held before the
1
man's eyes the huge enlargement of
F i n e s t I n Q u n l 't y . L a r g e s t In V a r i e t y ,
the finger print.
They m e e t ev ery req u ire m e n t fo r cleaning a n d
“ Peter, beholding the photograph, polishing shoes o f a il k lu d a a n d colors.
made a gesture of despair.
“ *1 see there hain’t no use deny in’
wot 1 done,’ he said. 'Ye got the
i . a J dandy
" DflISSiNG:
EJ>GS
bulge on me, parson.
I pinched yer
)
RUSSET.
fruit, and no mistake. But I certainly
would like to know, though, where ye
got that there impression of my cor
duroy pants.* ”
1 kla;FI St COLOR
r-MiroRtWii
A household once supplied with Ham
lins Wizard Oil ia seldom allowed to be
without it. In case of sudden mishap
or accident it takea the place of the old
family doctor.
frnoiyk
¡Shoe Polishes
Barber—"Did I ever ahave yon be
fore, air?
Customer—“ Yes, once.”
Barber — “ I don’t remember your
face.”
Customer—“ No I suppose n o t I t’a
nil healed up now.”
“ I hadn’t been talking with him
three minutes before he called me an
asa. What sort of a person is he?
“ Well, I never knew him to tell a
lie.”
IVlliis Lve S a lv e
G I L T E D G E th e only la d les shoe dressin g
f h a t positively contain* OIL. Blacks a n d rollskeS
la d le s ’ an d c h ild re n ’s b o o ts a n d shoes, s h i n e *
w i t h o u t r o b b i n g , 2So. " F re n c h G loss,’’ 10c.
D A N D Y co m b in atio n fo r clean in g a n d polishing
a ll k in d s o f ru s se t o r ta n shoes, 23c. " S ta r” size, lOo.
E L IT E com bination fo r g e n tle m e n w ho ta k e
lA’ide in h av in g th e ir shoes look A 1. R estores
color an d luBtre to all black shoes. P o lish w ith a
b ru sh o r cloth, 26c.
BABY EL ITE size 10c.
I f y o u r d ea ler does n o t k eep tho k in d you w a n k
send us his ad d ress a n d th a p ric e In stam p s fog
a fu ll size package.
W H ITT«;M O R E BROS. & CO.,
M -M
Albany
t a t ., C a m b r i d g e ,
M aes.
2’h» Oldest a n d Largest Manufacturer a aj
Shoe Polishes i n the World.
INES
ESS COLLEGE
sons
EYES
■poariAyv, aeevav
Caddie—A flipunder the lug, sir—
morning, sir—got It from a small boy.
Golfer—Good. Let’s see—er—what
did you give him for it?
Caddie—A flip under the lug, air—
Punch.
_______________
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FIRST LESSONS
"W hy do they call these dentiats’
offices dental parlors?” asked Smith of
his friend.
"Why, parlor is the old-fashioned
name for drawing-room.”—Presbyter
ian Standard.
Mother* Win Lad Mr». Window*» Boothloc
ty ru p tha beat remedy to use lo t tholr oümiren
lu rin g th e t—th in s period.
“ Why didn’t you go to aeo the coro
nation, Bilboy?
‘‘Do the English flock over here to
spend their money when there ia a
presidential inauguration ?”—Buffalo
Express.
Said an English clergyman: “ Pa
triotism ia the backbone of the Brit
ish Empire; and what wa hava to do
is to train that backbone and bring it
to the front.” —Chriatain Register.
Professor’s wife—You haven’t kiss
ed me for a week.
Professor (absently)—Are you sure?
Then who—who the dickena have I
been kissing?
She—“ It ia a woman’s lot to suffer
in silence."
Ho—“ I should put It differently.”
Sho—'"How, pray?”
He—“ A silent woman suffers a lot.”
K ê c le y
( u
r e
ALCO HO L
OPIUM— TOBACCO
fls b lts Positively On red*
Only au thorised K eeler I ño
■titule la O reeoe. W rite
o straten circu lar,
for
iN s im n . 71 L i 1 in K.
ill
lian
P O R T L A N C ),O R E G O N .
Tha Maakaat Man.
P N U
No. ÎS -’ll
Oar notion of ths meekest man In
•no who la afraid to attsmpt borrow
H E N w r i t i n g to a d v e r t i s e r * p i e n s e
i t i on th ie p a p e r .
ing a part of bis salary from his wife. [ w
•■Atchison Olobe.
Be Cured In Your Own Home
Rheum atism , Stomach and
C u red p -rm a n rtly In »hort tim e an d a t »m»ll e a st by u a
U L !„
» co n c e n tra te d m ineral w a te r. N a F a k e B ed fa*
t-ung irouDiea, SKin
Diseases o te f stim
o n ial» .mi lite ra tu re , si.as trial park—» za m ta
Address LANG’S ROCKY MOUNTAIN MINERAL WONDER COMPANY'
I n n ff T rn n K le .
ZZI Main «treat. PORTLAND, O It BOON.
W. L. DOUGLAS
*2.50, *3.00, *3.50 & *4.00 SHOES
W O M E N w e a r W .L D o u g le a »tyliah, p e r fe c t
fin in g , »aay w a lk in g boo ta, b e c a u — th e y giv e
lo n g wooT, l i m n W .L D o u g le a M o n a s h o e a.
T H E S T A N D A R D O F Q U A L IT Y
FOR
OVER
30 YEAR S
The worlunanahip which haa made W . L.
Douglas shoes famous the world over ia
maintained in every pair.
If I could lake you into my large factories
•t Brockton, Maas., and show you how
carefully W.L-Douglas shoe* are made, you
would then understand why they are war
ranted to hold their shape, 6t better and
wea» longer than any other make for the price
CAUTION
1
T* # ! • " « • » • H ere W . L D o n g le s
e e m e e n r l price* s t e m pent n a b o t t o m
I f f o e c a n n o t o b ta in W la D o u g las sh o ee le
ar tow n, w rite for ca talog Abo*a *ant d irect OW E P A I R o f m y BOYA* 99,1
*"» tm e t o r j to w serar. e ll . kargew prepaid. W .L - 9 1 . 0 0 rtHOKH w ill II I po sitively _ _
D O L O L A 4 , 1 4 4 « p e r k fit.. B r o c k t o e .
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T W O F A I H 4 o f o r d in a r y hege»
K