Lexington weekly budget. (Lexington, Morrow County, Or.) 188?-1???, December 05, 1889, Image 1

Lexington weekly budget., December 05, 1889, Image 1

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Newspaper Page Texta V LEXINGTON WEEKLY BUDGET. VOL.2. LEXINGTON, MORROW COUNTY, OKEGON, THURSDAY, DEC. 5, 1880. NO. 10. PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY EVENING BY SNOW & WHITSON, Tkxms of Subscription i On Tsar, . ..... (Ii.oo Six Mouths, ...... so oenta. Invariably In advance, ' Bates of Advertising : On square (ten lines or lees), first Insertion tl.OO; each subsequent Insertion, 60 cents. Special rates wltb regular advertisers. All transient advertisements must be paid for In advauea. Job Printing Of ever description uecuted wltb neatness and dispatch. I. SHIPLEY, M. D., PRACTITIONER Or Medicine, Surgery & Midwifery, Beglstered. HEPPKBK, OREGON. JJ P. SINE, Attorney-at-Law and Notary Public, LEXINGTON, OREGON. Attorney for the North American Attorneys and Tradesmen's Protective Union of Connec ticut. pEANK KELLOGQ, Attorney-at-Law and Notary Public, HEPPNER, OREGON. Money te loan on Improved farms. Office In Vint National Bault. Q 0. BOON, Constable and Collector, LEXINGTON, ORUQON. Will attend to auctioneering. JHS. KATE PAR3ELL, Notary Public and Conveyancer, AT UINE, OREGON. Deeds. Morlgajres and all others Leifal Instru iments earfully drawn. Applications for ritate and School Lauds made, and Pensions obtained. pEANK H. SNOW, Land Agent and Notary Public, LEXINGTON, OREGON. Filings taken on government land. Real state advertised and sold on commission. New mers are Invited to call and be tilled full of solid facts about the advantages of Morrow country. Office hour '.urn 7 a. M. to miduight, Bidust building. R. LIEUALLEN, GENERAL .-BLACKSMITH And !I Iorseshoer, T8 ALWAYS ON DECK AND PREPARED TO A do auyining In bis line iu a neat and work manlike manner. Horses shod with car and accuracy. Shop on G Bt, Lexlngloa, Or. G. W. BROCK, REPAIRING DONK. Arcade Street, Bet. C and D, Lexington, Oregon. ELKHORN c RELSE H.CNUSCN, Proprietor. LEXINGTON, OR. HORSES BOARDED BY THE DAY OR WEEK. Out flu Furnished fur Comraiirei. Men 4 KeaMMUkble Kmtee. IX. KINDS Of TtTRSOUTS AND SADDLE tionjt at lb diapoft. of fMhUvutv WagoD and Carriage Maker Livery a Feed Stab Kor 1 Know That My itcUeemei Ijivoth. Hhall thn molo from hia ntprht iiwlortfrniind cull the bfflstH from the duy-trliti t tW: Shall rhowlchurrctht! birds: "I inn wImj. lie to! Hock the nhmiows with me!" Shall a luttn hind his vyon unit rxolulm: "It if vuin tliut men wt?ury to Beef " Let him walk in the tflonm, who no will Pt'Hce he with hlml Hut whence hi rhht To assert thul the worhl lain darktu'Ms, be cutinc he hus turned Imir the iuUtf Or to snek to oVrthn low my tl.iy with the pall ol his aull-clioson uitfhl? I hnro listened, like Dnvid'fl srretit son, to the voice of the hciistund the bird; To the vole'i of the trees and ttie uTiiea; yea, 8 voice Irom the Ktonett I have heard; And the sun and tho moon, and the stars in their courses, re-echo the word t A nr5 one word speak the bird and the beast, ami the hyssop that Rprintrs in tho w all, And the cedar that lilts Its proud head upon Lebanon, stately and tall, And the rocks, and the sea, and the stars, and "Know I" Is the message ol all. For the answer hns ever been nlifh unto hlir who would question and learn How to hrliitr the stars near to hfs Razo, v what orbits the planets mint turn; Why the apple must tall troni the bough; wlia the fuel that sun-tires burn. Whence came life? In tho rocks Is It writ, and no Finder hath graven it thereV Whence came UKhtr Did its motion arlso with out bidding? Will science declare Tlutt the hiw ruling all htitli upspruug' frorr Nouilud, thutubideth Nowhere "Yea, I know!" cried tho true man of old And whose'er wills it may know. "My K lecmer existetliT 1 seek lor a sign ol bis presence, and lo, As ho spoke to the light, find It was bo hf gpcuks to my son), and 1 know t Solomon Solis Cohen, In tho Century DICK'S PROPOSAL Dick Nash paced slowly forward and backward on the river bank in fronl ol till! boat-house. What the dickens do I want to go abroad for," soliloquized hi!, "unless on a wedding trip? I'd better marry at once, and, as the saying is, kill two birds with one stone, lint there is only one gir! for nie Millie Denton; and I might just as well usk for the lllooll." Dick had just eomn to this conclu sion when, on looking up, he beheld the object of his thoughts cmiing to ward him. "A good time, to begin," thought he. Millie came tripping along, her golden hair tossed about by the wiiuj; her checks were rosy and her blue eyes sparkling. Dick appeared not to recognize lier at first; then, looking up and favoring her witli a little stare, he exclaimed: "Why, it's Millie!" "None other," laughed she. "What brought you here?" "Oh, 1 am looking for some one." "Some one who belongs to the club, I suppose?" "Not exactly, though ho is hern a great deal." "Well, you won't find him." 'Why? "Hccause there has been no one here for the past hour but myself." "Wliv don't you ask for whom I am looking?" "Perhaps I don't care," lazily. 'Oh, but he is just splendid!" "Who is splendid?" "Ha! ha!" laughed Millie. "I thought you wanted to know all the time; so " "But I don't!" "Do not interrupt me! If you insist upon knowing " "I don't " "It is my black dog, Tow ser." "The deuce!" exclaimed Dick. "Why. Dick Nash!" "What is the matter Millie Denton?" "Isn't deuce a swear word?" "A mild one." "Don't you know that vou oughtn't to swear in the presence of a ladv?" "Yes; I suppose 1 must beg your pardon?" " Yes, I thitik you ought to, if only to teach you better manners." "Well, do you insist upon it?" "Oh, no! "Hut " "Then you do insist; so here goes." Taking a large, handkerchief from his pocket, he spread it carefully on the grass at her feet, then assuming a most comical position and expression as he knelt upon it, he began: "Oh, fairest of thv sex!" "You silly goose? laughed Millie. "If you don't keep still I won't apol ogize at all! Once more, then-Oh, fairest of thy sex, ! have committed an unpardonable " "I Iear hear hear!" The voice came from the direction of the boat-house. The speaker was Ned Morgan, and he and Fred Kailey were greatly enjoying the little scene. "Well, old fcilow," continued Ned, "this sort of thing usually takes place in the conservatory, if we are to be lieve the novelist, but I sci that vou are trying to improve on the old plan. With the blue dome of heaven over head and the Mississippi throbbing at your feet with the birds hushing their songs and the trees whispering lowly, you " "I say, now, I don't think this quite the fair thing. Here wits Miss Millie just rcaily to bless me with a sweet yes, when " "Hut," interrupted Millie, enjoying the joke in spite of herself, "vou know I had not made up my mind' "You run away, boys, while she makes up her miiul," said Dick. "You go right along and don't mind ns," said Ned, "for we mean to gee it through." "Come, Millie," said Dick, "hurry up and say yes." "Hut suppose I say no?" "Then I w ill never rise again; and I wish you would hurry, for my knees ache awfully." "Dear nie! then I say yes, for if I did not 1 should forever after bo haunted by a vision of you in your very uncom fortable position." "That settles it," said Dick, jumping UP; "1 th'nk that if we don't hurry up Towser will get away from us. Come Millie." Leaving tho others they started in pursuit of the favorite. As soon as they were out of sight of the others Dick said: "Well, I'm glad it's all settled!" "What is settled?" asked Millie. "Why, our engagement." "Ha, ha!" "What arc yon laughing at?" "You, of course. I don't see how yon can keep your face so long when you joke." "Then you think it is only a joke?" "Why shouldn't IP Are you crazy?" "Not I; but I had made up my mind to marry you, and as wo were engaged all fair and solid, in the presence of two witnesses, I don't see how you are going to get out of it." "I do. "Well, how?" "I shall have to put you iu the asy lum." "Just because I want to marry you?" "You don't want to marry me!" "It is the dearest wisli of my life, Millie, .believe me." "Then why didn't you ask mo de cently, ir.st 'ad of joking about so ser ious a matter?" "Well, to tell tho truth, Millie, 1 thought that I would essay something novel iu the way of a proposal." Then in a few earnest words he told her how dear she was to him, and begged her to be his companion on the voyage which he was soon to take, as well us on the voyage through life. "Why, Dick, you take my breath quite away!" "Well, hurry up and breathe again, Millie, for my heart has stopped beat ing, and it will not resume its proper action until you have given me the answer I crave." "Oh, Dick, you are too fuuny; but I Bupnose if you insist " I certainly ilo insist!" "Well. I " "tio on!" "Well your heart may beat again." "My dearest Millie " "Oh, Dick! We are on the street, you know." "Well, what of it?" "Nothing; only I would not like to have it said I allowed young men to embrace me in public." "Why; who was embracing you, I should like to know." "You were!" "I didn't touch you." "Hut you were going to." 'No, I was not; but 1 suppose that you expected nie to " "Dick Nash!" "Never mind, Millie, wo won t quar rel over it, anyway." A month later Dick and his bride sailed for England, the happiest couple that ever stepped on board a ship. f.ngllHll IlllllUDMM Here are three sketches of two bon nets and a pretty hat The latter would suit a girl with a good complexion well. It Is a fancy straw in a reccda shade, lined with aero ph line of the same hue, and trimmed with delicately tinted rib bon and Dowers. A hat saw trimmed with a bunch of colored lilac among Its own foliage on a straw of the same tint looked as original as tho real thing. Doth bonnets would suit young faces. The first is made entirely of old rose fluted ribbon, with a bandeau of jet, and the top is veiled with black lace. Tliff second is a transparent gold crochet straw, trimmed with ribbon and grass. Another invasion of Hie rights of men. Girls are now wearing dress BhirU on the river, and we shall see a good many of them this year. They are made in white or striped cambric, Just like the ordinary masculine garment. Only, as a girl could never consent to hide so much finery under a waist -coat, these shirts are worn with short, open jack eta. Vail MM Onietu. The l'arsou U as Right. Elder Thompson, the famous Uni Tersalist preacher who died some years ago, was once asked to marry a couple whose religious views were at var iance with his own. After the cere mony the bridegroom expressed his entire satisfaction with the service. "I don't see,'' he said, "that you could have done it any better if you'd be lieved in a hell." A little theological discussion followed, in which Elder Thompson advanced the idea that "a man gets his hell In this world." Two years afler Father Thompson met the man agaiD. "You remember you married me?" the man said. "Yes." "And that I said 1 hoped it would be just as bappv a marriage as if you believed in a he'll?" "You said something like that." "And that you said some folks got all their bell In this world?" "I might have said to." "Parson, ton wu rltrht" UNCLE SILAS P0WERS0X. Be Flushes a Couple of Late KiiKltnh Cap italists. Uncle Silas Powersox, of Scrub Grass, who is the guest of a World reporter, has tnkeu much in Iciest in thu collection of news, and occasionally hulps us to a good item. He bad an interesting ex perience yesterday with a couplo of En glish men. "Can you direct us to a hinn where we can hobtaiu cheap lodgings, don't you know?" "How cheap?" asked Uncle Silas. "Sny habout hay t shilling for lodgings hand breakfast." ."That's pretty ch!ap, but I guess they can accommodate you over there at the 'Crow's Nest.'" , Uncle Sdus was attracted by the es pecially forlorn ttppearanco of the two bi runners, who still had about them a far-off air of better days, and following them to the "Crow's Nest" obtained their story. "You see, my dear, sir," said one of the wretched pariy, "we're hall that's left not hay great Uinglish syndicate that enme hover to your blawsted coun try to buy hand hoperate some of your great business henterprises. Wo 'nil some (00,000.000 hat hour disposal, don't you know, bund we bought breweries Intuit things right hand left. The bloomln' newspapers received us kindly, 1 bassure you, band a cordial welcome was extended to us by business men hall hover the country. Well, sir, we hin Vested hour money liberally, band for a time wa cut bay large dog in two, don't 'you know. Hut we ah found that wo could not pay the large dividends we 'oped to. We found ah competi tion very lively. Haiuerican business men get hup very early hin the morning hand stay hup very late. They don't give a fellow a chawnce, don't you know. We ure now lion hour way 'ome. Some hof hour friends 'ave kindly sent money to pay hour hexpeuses; not very much, hit's true," anil he looked ruefully tilinut his six-bv-aight npartmeut at the "Crow's Nest." TDK KN1II.IHIIMAN KX PLAINS. "Then you don't reirartl the late In vestment of English capital in America as being In every case a howling suc cess f" "You can put bit that strong, sir, hand not hoverstato the case!" "What has become of the breweriot you bought?" "They 'ave mostly gone lisck binto the ' Hilda of the bloomin' Dutchmen from whom we bought 'em, don't you know." Uncle Silas ventured the suggestion that our German fellow cilizeus were usually frugal :.'nd successful. "You are right, sir. Hand has near we can learn the Hingll'ihmaii who comes hover here to teach 'em 'ow to brew lager is hay blouiniu' bass, sir, hay blonmiu' bass." "Did you take much interest in tho last prize tight?" "We didn't 'ave benny money to bet, sir, but we plnceil what few vuluables we 'ad left on Kilrnin, the bloomin' duffer, baud that 'asu't 'elned matters to snenk hof, don't you know?" And Uncle Hilas left tho late English cspilitlihls lo their own meditations. Jfeie York W.rld. The Yellow (Jai ler. The latest and funniest whim is the wearing of the yellow gai ter. Just one garter, not two, you understand, and H must be worn just above tne left knee. Thu other slocking may bo wrinkled disconsolately over the shoe top or bo fastened in place by any one or alt of the mysterious devices known only to the initiated, but the left one is held firmly by 41 band of yellow silk elastic, with a ribbon rosette of the same shade, and the correct and proper thing is to wear it uight and Idav for six months. Ihe yeilow garter sorigin is shroud ed in murky uncertainly, but its sig niliealion is known to every gir! who possesses it, and this is its charm: Any girl who wears a yellow garter above her left knee is surely to be engaged in less than six mouths. The garter must be given to her by a friend, and it has never been known to fail of its purpose hut once, and then the owner was wearing iton tho wronir extremity, or rather the right one Instead of the left--Attfl fori Sim. A Dosnrvrd Fain. Editor: "I'm sorry, Hiiuaggs, but you'll have to go." F.remi;n: "I'd like to know what I'vn done." Eiilor: "Well, I wrote nbout that gallant old war-horse, Col. H lliuger. and you set it up that gallousold saw-horse. It's your place or my life, and I want to live." la tha Woo. la, Miss do Hmy the: "I wonder why tlie nosipiiloes never come to the holel?"' Lbolly: "They can t afford 11" Umr- TROUBLES OF THE BOWSERS. As Kelatnt by tli Ki-inlnlne Member of that IiitwrcHthitt' t-'irtn. 'What did that man want?" asked Mr. Howser, as he ciiiuu up to dinner the other day, just as a strange iiiim left tho door. "Ho was a tramp," I replied. "And you turned him away without oven a crust! ' "Haven't you often told me to look out for those gentry P He looked like a hard case." "He didn't look anything of the sort! The man appeared in ill-health, and it was a mean thing to turn him oil iu that way. Mrs. Howser, you've got a heart liko a slono." "Well, lie is standing on the corner, and if you feel for him you can give him something." "O, I can! How liberal you ure! Well, I'm going to hand him a 11 arte r, anyhow. No 0110 knows what the poor fellow may have sullered. I'll let him wheel those ashes out of tho yard and give him a dollar fur the job." He beckoned tho man into the alley anil asked him if ho wauled a job. 'What is it?" was thu cautious re- p'y- "Whoeling out thoso ashes. You con do it iu an hour, and I'll givo you adollar." "I haven't come down to that yet, old man!" "Hut don't you want work?" "Not that suit. I want a quarter to get a square meal." "Hut you ought to be willing to work for iu" "Would you wheel out anybody's ashes for anv priceP Not much, you old bjokcl J'liei'e's a ring of you fel lows who have got tis poor chaps by the neck, and you want to trend us in to the earth. Don't try to step ou 1110 old man!" "I did feel for you at first, but now n "O, yes, you folt for mo tho same as a tiger does for nu orphan boy. You wauled loget $3 worth of work for 60 cents. Go to grass, you old bond holder!" "Do yon know who you are talking to?" demanded Mr. Howser. "No, and 1 don't care. Don't you givo mo any lip or I'll punch your bead!" Mr. Howser started to pull off hia coat, but Ihe man hit him iu the eye unit knocked him against thu fence, mid then went off saying that iL was lucky for Mr. Howser il Uidu'L buppuu to be his well dny. "He couldn't have been a hard ease, could he? ' 1 quel iud us I Weill ouL to Mr. Howser. He was holding his hand to his eye, and didn't reply. "Ho appeared lo mo to bo in ill health," 1 softly continued. "Mr. Howser, you have a heart of stone!" lie didn't say a word until he had washed hia eye iu salt water and eaten his dinner. Then as ho look his hat to go. he turned ou mo witn: "It was Ihe way you treated bis re quest that drove him lo desperation, and il will be singular if ho doesn't re turn and burn our barn. Mrs. How ser, I've got to have a plain talk wilh you! This tiling can't go much far ther!" Hut it did. Ho got half tho police force nfler Ihe irainp, secured his ar rest, and then bad him sent up for three months. One day a woman called and asked for aid and told a pitiful story of dis tress. I was asking for her street and number when Mr. Howser camu iu. "Do you mean to insult the wom an?" be brusquely demanded as I wrote down the information. "1 am going to help her if she has told me a straight story." "Straight! Do you think she lias sat here and lied to you?" "Heaven forbidl" exclaimed the woman as she lolled her eyes to the ceiling. "My good woman," said Mr. How ser, as he turned to her, "you have no doubt spoken the truth. Any one can see you are frail and delicate and greatly worried. Expect no sympathy from my wife. Slie'd demand a cer tilicale of character from an angel. Here are a couplo of dollars, and if vou will call again I'll do something furl her." "Heaven bless yen, sir! You have a In-art, indeed." When she had gone Mr. Howser said to me: "You'll get your pay for such con duct, old lady! No wonder you are iu such linn till liii'iorof thunder storms." "I'll bet the woman is a fraud!" I hotly replied. "That poor way to sneak out of ;t. 1 liavent a rtnuiil every worn slin Inn spoken has been the solemn truth." 'I hat afternoon 1 rode over to the street and riuniliel' she had given me, hut could find nothing of her. I made persistent inquiry for blocks around, but she was not io be heard of. 1 had just returned home when she cainii alone and sal down ou the front steps to wait for Mr. Howser. 1 thought she acted rulbcr singular, and when Mr. Dowser came up the suspicion was verified. "Whoop! Hooray!" si e shouted as he came near. ".Shay, old iniiu you'ie a daisy!'1 "W-'whal't this!" demanded Mr. Howser as he slopped short. "Ole gal's .li 111 11 k again zhat'sall! ' she replied as she tried to throw her arms about him. "Are you the tho woman who called here this forenoon?" bo asked. You bit. I am!" "And I gave you "bho you did. ole bov, aud I've come back for $2 more. I'll bcz on you every time, olo lily of the valley." "Woman, did you spend anv of that money for drink?" ho demanded. "Did 1! Slieiiingly I did! Shay, ole man, z1 ero ain't uo flies on you! Let me kiss you for your muzzor. " "Go away, woman! ' "Who's go away, woman! Don't talk zliat way to 1110! I'm muzzor of five lizzie children, I am, and they ain't got nuihing to cat or wear. "I believo you are an impostor!" "Whaz zliat! Don't shass nie you olo reprobate, or I'll make it sad'for you! I want $2 right away!,' He got by her and got into the house, probably hoping 1 hadn't seen or heard anything. Hut I said: "Mr. Howser, do you waul to insult the woman?" He didn't reply. "1 called nt Iho address she gave, hut no one iu the neighborhood ever heard of her. However, I dou't waut to prejudice you ngainsl " "Her 1 roubles have Hindu her Iuny, I think," he interrupted. Toor thing! lhen vou will sen about, having her sent to the asylum?" "Mrs. Howser, will you kuepslilll" ho exclaimed. 'lint you said I was " "Or must. I leave this house to find peace and comfort?" Hut thu next morning when I re ferred to the matter in an Incidental way he put ou nu innocent look aud replied: "What woman do vou refer to? You must he losing your mind, Mrs. How Bor. Perhaps it would be well for you to take a week in iho country this summer. I have mil iced for snmu lime past that your memory seems to bo gradually getting away from you?" Detroit I'ri.is A'reu. MR. PFALSGRAFF AND THE ELIXIR. Jaiiob l!:is a Chum-fl to I'urdliasn and Ki- pt'n a World'. Fair Nnul mnl, lie entered Jncob I'falsgrnlT saloon and, opening a satchel of ninny Hum mers, said: "I am the accredited representative of Dr. Bniwn-Sequaril.nnd I have In this lit tle vial thu latest preparation of his world renowned Elixir of Life, made of condensed guinea pig aud some ether ingredients which you will nut ask ma to disclose." ' Ye tout viiut no pntent medicines some moru. Ve lnif enough patent med icines already to kill some horses." "Hut this is Dr. UrowirHcqusrd's famous Elixir of Lite, the latest wonder Iu medical science, the mm vol of the age, a simple liquid tlmt will, as I may siiy, exlend your existence iiidetlnllel v. The guild old hvmn, 'There Will H No More 1'iii'liiig There.' will have lo be clninged. 'There Will Uu No More l'uriing Here.'" "Vlml's dot?" "A liquid, 1 say, that will prolong life, make you live to bo a hundred years old. for instance." "Vhell, belter as ynu took some be fore I broke your neck for a swindler." "Now, ho d on. my good friend. I know that what 1 have said seems in credible, but it Is absolutely true. This is an age of marvels. Suppose I bad come into your place ten years ago and told you of the telephone or the electric railway. Would you have believed me?" "Mebbo not." Mil. l-KALSOItAKr AND TDK KI.IX I li. "This is not 11 new idea. I'once de L'on hiiuled for th's secret. It wns ev idently known in Bible times. Hook at Metlinseliili. Does not Divid, in the PHI I'.-iilm, spunk of 'his youth having been renewed lis nil eagle's? '" "D d he dune dol?" ' He. did. And I'iiiiI suggested that his youth was 'renewed from dny to day." "Ish dot printed In der Hibles?" "It is. my friend. And mnrn than lli-il, Hie newspapers of I lie day urn full of it. I hnvetis r ip hnok here cram med wiili clippings ilesci ihing this mar vel of niiirvels. " "Aiiydlng from ih r XrUiinyV ' Yen, 11 w hole column; and also from tho ''rr Vc " Marriage In Madagascar, When a father In Madagascar gets notion thathisdaughter ought to marry he puis a rope around her neck, leads her forth, and the lirst young man ho offer her to has got to take her or pay a for feit The father thus saves the expense of light and fuel incident to two vnnrs' Viurtship, and the young mini also Mrves on opera tickets and ice-cream. Hut the spectacle of young men dart ing up alleys and climbing over back? fences when a father starts out lead ing his daughter wilh a rope around her neck must be a very coinnpin out iu Madagascar. Snrrintowu ikratd. A whim is a Hy that bn.ies In the unity chumbeisuf au exhausted bralo. il'wuViy.