OPINION
A4 HERMISTONHERALD.COM
SATURDAY, APRIL 18, 2015
EDITORIAL • COMMENTARY • LETTERS
HermistonHerald
VOLUME 109 ɿ NUMBER 25
-(66,&$.(//(5
6($1+$57
6$0%$5%((
JEANNE JEWETT
EDITOR
MNHOOHU#KHUPLVWRQKHUDOGFRP
541-564-4533
REPORTER
smhart@hermistonherald.com
541-564-4534
SPORTS REPORTER
sbarbee@hermistonherald.com
541-564-4542
MULTI-MEDIA CONSULTANT
jjewett@hermistonherald.com
541-564-4531
.,0/$3/$17
OFFICE COORDINATOR
NODSODQW#KHUPLVWRQKHUDOGFRP
541-564-4530
To contact the Hermiston Herald for news, advertising or subscription information:
• call 541-567-6457
• e-mail info@hermistonherald.com
• VWRSE\RXURI¿FHVDW(0DLQ6W
• visit us online at: www.hermistonherald.com
ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTION RATES
'HOLYHUHGE\FDUULHUDQGPDLO:HGQHVGD\VDQG6DWXUGD\V
,QVLGH8PDWLOOD0RUURZFRXQWLHV ......................................................................................... $42.65
2XWVLGH8PDWLOOD0RUURZFRXQWLHV ...................................................................................... $53.90
7KH+HUPLVWRQ+HUDOG8636,661LVSXEOLVKHGWZLFHZHHNO\DW+HUPLVWRQ
+HUDOG(0DLQ6W+HUPLVWRQ25)$;3HULRGLFDO
SRVWDJHSDLGDW+HUPLVWRQ253RVWPDVWHUVHQGDGGUHVVFKDQJHVWR+HUPLVWRQ+HUDOG
(0DLQ6W+HUPLVWRQ25
3ULQWHGRQ
recycled
$PHPEHURIWKH(20HGLD*URXS&RS\ULJKW
newsprint
Mind your
own biscuits — Some simple solutions
up to a point M
L
ast year I wanted to
smack myself for
missing the chance
to write about the Kacey
Musgraves country song
“Follow Your Arrow.”
Luckily, Musgraves has
now released the similarly
themed “(Mind Your Own)
Biscuits.”
Both the former (about
the futility of changing to
please others) and the latter
(about the futility of trying
to judge/change others)
follow in the tradition of
crowd-pleasers such as
“Mind Your Own Business”
(Hank Williams, Sr.),
“Family Tradition” (Hank
Williams, Jr.), “Long-Haired
Country Boy” (Charlie
Daniels) and “Garden Party”
(Rick Nelson).
All of these songs have
a point to make, but our
disdain for prudes and
busybodies can tempt us to
give the points too broad an
application. Although some
songwriters tend to pander
to the “rowdiness is next to
godliness” set, please think
of this column as a corollary
rather than a rebuttal.
Following your arrow/
dream/urges is a bedrock
part of America, but the
principles espoused in the
aforementioned songs cannot
be treated as absolutes. If
your “thang” happens to be
running the state’s biggest
meth lab or setting a record
for drugging and raping
coeds or shooting unarmed
suspects in the back,
obviously there is a problem.
True, countless personal
choices have absolutely no
impact on anyone else. But
we live in an interconnected
world. If your actions
do affect someone else’s
property value, insurance
premiums, tax bill, sleep
patterns, etc., they’re entitled
WRDQRSLQLRQ³,¶P¿QH
with your biscuits, but
if I have to pay for that
unplanned ‘bun in the
oven’...”)
Sorry if I’m going out
on a limb here. Ignoring the
elephant in the room has
such a proven track record
in families, business and
politics!!!
Discernment and
acknowledgment of nuances
are virtues to be valued
above knee-jerk reactions.
There is a vast difference
between (a) using high-
powered binoculars to
gather bedroom gossip and
Letters Policy
'$11<7<5((
TYRADES!
&DJOHFROXPQLVW
EVWDWLQJ¿UPO\WKDW\RX
will not let your 6-year-old
child pay a return visit to a
home where loaded high-
SRZHUHG¿UHDUPVDUHOHIW
lying around in the open.
The adage about not
judging a man until you’ve
walked a mile in his
moccasins usually applies,
but you could try out the
entire shoe closet of some
people and not come
close to justifying their
wrongheaded actions.
Granted, some societal
problems arise from
arranged marriages or being
IRUFHGLQWRDQLOO¿WWLQJ
career path. But headstrong,
impulsive, self-centered
actions account for vastly
more of the business for
drug rehab programs,
battered women shelters,
Dave Ramsey’s Financial
Peace University, jails,
prisons, loan sharks and
the like — in spite of the
ubiquitous “And I turned out
OK!” mantra.
Maybe you never signed
on to be a role model,
but that’s just part of the
human condition. I never
signed on to get callouses
from continually biting my
tongue. Let’s meet in the
middle.
Always examine your
motives. If you’re giving
advice, are you really trying
to be helpful? If you’re
receiving advice, are you
rejecting it for good reasons
or because you have a chip-
on-the-shoulder response
that everyone who disagrees
with you is a hypocritical
hater?
The wishy-washy think
their relatives, friends and
co-workers are ALWAYS
right. The hardheaded think
their relatives, friends and co-
workers are NEVER right.
If we could all develop
the common sense and
intestinal fortitude to judge
life’s events on a case-by-
case basis, life could indeed
be gravy.
— ©2015 Danny Tyree.
Danny welcomes email
responses at tyreetyrades@
aol.com and visits to his
Facebook fan page “Tyree’s
Tyrades.” Danny’s weekly
column is distributed exclu-
sively by Cagle Cartoons
Inc. newspaper syndicate
The Hermiston Herald welcomes original letters for
publication on public issues and public policies. Submitted
letters must be signed by the author and include the city of
residence and a daytime phone number. Phone numbers
will not be published. Letters may be mailed to the
Hermiston Herald, 333 E. Main, Hermiston, OR, 97838;
or emailed to editor@hermistonherald.com
odern life can
get awfully
complicated.
In our continuing quest
to navigate these state-
of-the-art raging rapids
while keeping body
and mind upright, we
should be forgiven the
occasional tendency to
overthink things (like
the previous sentence).
What America really
needs right now are some
simple common-sense
solutions. And we here
at Durstco are honored
to offer up a couple of
modest proposals.
• The California
Drought. It is estimated
there are more than
1,100 golf courses in the
Golden State. How hard
would it be to replace
all the fairways with
green-colored cement?
It’s be a quick and easy
way to save thousands
of gallons of water a
day. On the plus side,
golfers get true bounces
and double distance on
drives, resulting in lower
scores and precipitating
a rise in self-esteem. It’s
the ultimate California
win-win.
• Homeless Problem.
Give the indigent all
across the country free
bus tickets to New
Orleans. They’d fit right
in with all the Phish
fans who never left after
the band’s various Jazz
Fest appearances.
• Gay Marriages. All
gay wedding planners in
:,//'8567
RAGING MODERATE
&DJOHFROXPQLVW
states that discriminate
should order double
wedding cakes with two
grooms and two brides
on top, and when the
magic moment arrives,
toss the superfluous
genders away. Or let the
new spouses eat them.
• Keeping Iran From
Getting The Nuclear
Bomb. Hand Israel a map
to all Iranian nuclear
production sites. Oh wait,
they probably already
have it. Never mind.
• Traffic Congestion.
Any moving violation or
parking ticket results in
a driver’s license being
taken away for 30 days.
Of course, Uber drivers
will rule the world. As
long as they don’t get a
ticket.
• Education. More
nuns.
• Rising Income
Inequality. Take a little
money from all the
really rich people and
give it to really poor
people to kind of even
things out. Novel idea,
but bet it would work.
• Obesity. Move all
kitchens to the third
floor.
• Drugs. All drugs
are legalized, but can
only be purchased from
state government outlets.
Then merge operations
with Department of
Motor Vehicles.
• Climate Change.
Just ignore it. It will go
away. Or we will.
• Corrupt Politicians.
Whenever a politician is
caught lying, cheating or
stealing, they are legally
bound to participate
in an aversion therapy
program and forced to
watch recordings of Joe
McCarthy while riding
a stationary bike next to
Lance Armstrong who
exhorts them to “move
it, Chubby” through a
bullhorn.
• Voter Turnout. Free
pizzas. But only one
to a customer. Even in
It is estimated there are more
than 1,100 golf courses in the
Golden State. How hard would it
be to replace all the fairways with
green-colored cement.
Chicago.
• Federal Debt. Just
ignore it. It will go
away. Or we will.
• Greed-Centric
Corporations. More
nuns.
• Economic Growth.
Inveigle Starbucks to
increase caffeine content
of drinks by 10 percent.
Prompting people to stay
up longer, leading to a
corresponding leap in
consumer purchasing.
• Racism. Once a
year, each registered
voter receives a one
night’s stay in a five-
star hotel with all
expenses paid, and
after an extended trip
to the hosted bar, is
encouraged to enter
a darkened ballroom
with mattresses
covering the floor and
everyone hooks up with
members of the opposite
sex with total legal
impunity. Within three
generations, the whole
country will be the exact
same color. Tawny.
So there you have it.
Some simple common
sense solutions to save
this country stress. No
need to thank us, we’re
only here to help.
— Copyright © 2015,
Will Durst, distributed
by the Cagle Cartoons
Inc. syndicate. Will
Durst is an award- win-
ning, nationally ac-
claimed political comic.
Email Will at durst@
caglecartoons.com
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
T3$ Zill Eene¿t
Oregonians
down the road at ConAgra or your
neighbor’s farm, by supporting trade
you are supporting them.
Washington is abuzz about some-
As we speak, the president and his
WKLQJPDQ\RIXVNQRZ¿UVWKDQGKDV administration are negotiating trade
a profound impact of Oregon: trade. DJUHHPHQWV LQ WKH $VLD3DFL¿F UH-
If you haven’t been following it, you gion and Europe that have the poten-
might want to. Here in the Columbia tial to expand trade and bring even
Basin region, chances are you know more jobs and opportunities here to
someone whose job depends on Oregon. But Oregonians can’t har-
trade. Consider this: Over 484,000 ness these incredible opportunities
Oregon jobs depend on international without Trade Promotion Authority,
WUDGH RQH LQ ¿YH DQG WUDGHUHODWHG or TPA.
employment has grown 4.6 times
Under TPA, Congress opens up
faster than total normal employment. the negotiating process by requiring
Whether it’s your friend who works congressional consultation and out-
lining negotiating priorities for the
president. If we want the best possi-
ble trade agreements for Oregon and
the United States, Congress must
pass TPA.
It’s no secret that Hermiston is a
major transportation hub, and with
the Port of Morrow just up the road,
we can’t afford to stand on the side-
lines. The trade debate is heating up
in Washington, and I encourage you
to urge our Congressmen to pass
TPA and get the best possible deal
for you, your neighbors and friends.
ROD HARDIN
HERMISTON
ELECTED OFFICIALS
STATE
District 29: Sen. Bill Hansell,
R-Umatilla Co., 900 Court St. N.E.,
S-423, Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1729. 101 S.W. Third St., Pendleton,
OR 97801 (541) 278-1396. E-mail:
ssen.billhansell@state.or.us.
District 30: Sen. Ted Ferrio-
li, R-John Day; 900 Court St. N.E.,
S-223 Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1950. 750 W. Main, John Day, OR
97845, (541) 575-2321. E-mail: ferr-
ioli.sen@state.or.us.
District 58: Rep. Greg Barreto,
R-Pendleton; 900 Court St. N.E.,
H-480, Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1458. E-mail: rep.gregbarrento@
state.or.us. Website: http://www.ore-
gonlegislature.gov/barreto
District 57: Rep. Greg Smith,
R-Morrow, 900 Court St. N.E.,
H-280, Salem, OR 97301, 503-986-
1457. P.O. Box 215, Heppner, OR
97836, (541) 676-5154. E-mail:
smith.g.rep@state.or.us.
FEDERAL
U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden
Sac Annex Building, 105 Fir St.,
No. 201, La Grande, OR 97850;
(541) 962-7691. E-mail: kath-
leen_cathey@wyden.senate.gov;
(Kathleen Cathey, community repre-
sentative); 717 Hart Building, Wash-
ington, D.C. 20510, (202) 224-5244.
U.S. Sen. Jeff Merkley
One World Trade Center, 121 SW
Salmon Street, Suite 1250, Portland,
OR 97204; (503) 326-3386; Dirksen
6HQDWH 2I¿FH %XLOGLQJ 6'%%
Washington, D.C. 20510. (202) 224-
3753.
U.S. Rep. Greg Walden (2nd
District)
843 E. Main St., Suite 400, Med-
ford, OR 97504, (541) 776-4646,
(800) 533-3303; 2352 Rayburn
+RXVH2I¿FH%XLOGLQJ:DVKLQJWRQ
D.C. 20515, (202) 225-6730