TH E HERALD, HERMISTON, OREGON
Fine Home for Women’s National Democratic Club
T H E W ORLD’S
GREAT EVENTS
Great writers have had “artistic con
science" to a degree that sometimes
caused them painful labors. In 170?,
when Joseph Addison, the English
poet and eesaj 1st, was undersecretary
of state he was given as a matter of
official business the tusk of writing to
Hanover that Queen Anne was dead.
He found It so difficult to express
himself satisfactorily that the lords of
the regency were obliged to employ
8ouihwell, at that time one of the
clerks.
For hours Addison had
struggled in attempts to draft a suit
able message, but the last one seemed
as Inadequate as the first, and In de
spair he cart it after Its predecessors
Into the waste basket.
Southwell stated the simple fact, as
he was ordered. In the ordinary lan
guage of business, and It Is said he
then bonsted of his superiority to Ad
dison In having readily done that
which Addison attempting to do hud
failed.—Kansas City Times.
ALBERT PAYSON TERHUNB
((g) by
.............................
D odd. Mead
A C om pan y.)
The Balkan Puzzle
F YOU will look over a map of
Europe you will see three great
peninsulas jutting Into-the seas that
wush the south shores of the conti
nent. The southernmost and farthest
east of the three Is known as the
Bulkan peninsula. It comprises Tur
A C C O M M O D A TIN G M A ID
key In Europe, Greece, Serbia, Bul
garia, Montenegro, eastern Koumella,
A woman murmured to another
Rumania and other lesser divisions.
Incidentally, that same peninsula has woman during an aria at the opera.
“That new French maid of the
for a thousand years been the hotbed
Jones-Brownes Is the nicest creature.
of revolt, Intrigue and violence.
No other district of the same size So obliging, so very obliging.”
"Yes? How s o r said the other
contains jso many races, nor so many
people who are so widely different In woman.
“This morning,” said the first one.
religion, politics, customs and char
acteristics. This jumble of nationali “I suw her out with Mrs. Jones-
ties dwells side by side, yet never Browne’s baby; this afternoon I saw
blending. Turk, Greek, Bulgar, Al her with Mrs. Jones-Browne's dog, and
banian and a half score of other tonight I saw her out with Mrs. Jon es
peoples live shoulder to shoulder, yet Browne’s husband.”
each sharply divided from all the
CHANCE TO RISE
others. The Turk Is the bully of the
peninsula. The other races spent cen
turies lighting and Intriguing against
each other, but have merged their
various difficulties In a common
hatred against Turkey. The Turks,
strongest of all Mahomet’s followers,
became masters of the peninsula in
the Thirteenth century, being at that
time the foremost military power of
the world.
A Most of the Balkan states are Chrto-
I tian. For this reason, as well as be-
vcause o f the frequent plots and re
volts agulnst the sultan's government,
Turkey has, from time to time, pun
"Why'd yer take a milk-wagon jobl
ished her rebellious subjects by
wholesale slaughter and outrage. The There ain’t any chance to rise?”
“Believe me there is—at five o’clock
Armenian and Macedonian massacres
have, at one period and another, every mornln’ 1”
aroused the horror o f all civilized
G e o g ra p h y Note
countries.
In May, 1876, Bulgaria and Herze W h y G reenland and Icelan d don't
sw ap names.
govina
(then Turkish provinces)
Is som ething th a t pussies ms;
started one of the periodical insur F o r Ice lan d ’s g ree n er th a n G reenland,
w h ile
rections. The peasants of the Batak
G reen lan d’s the Ic ie r, see?
district of Bulgaria were preparing
to rise when suddenly a large Turkish
Literary Note»
force under Achpnet Agha appeared,
"And so you have decided to plunge
surrounded the town of Batuk and
commander the natives to y ield ; yourself Into the literary world, doc
promising that not one of them should tor?”
“Yes, Indeed, I have. You have no
be harmed. With a credulity unusual
in people having experience with the Idea what an enormous demand there
“Unspeakable Turk,” the patriot» Is for books on symptoms among the
obeyed. Then the massacre began people who haven’t anything the mat
The prisoners—men, women and chll- ter with them I”
dren alike—were slaughtered like
Refuge in the Unknowable
sheep. Some took refuge In a church.
It was burned over their heads.
“What do you Intend to talk about
Achmet Agha received a decoration In your next speech?”
from the sultan for this great killing
“The Einstein theory."
“Can you explain It?”
At news of the outrage the six great
“I can come as near explaining It
European powers sent a formal pro
test to the sultan. He had, earlier, as anybody I have listened to And
promised reforms, but had disre It has the advantage of not making
garded his pledges. Now he gave the you enemies, no matter what you say.”
envoys no satisfaction whatever. This
was the chance for which Russia
Cause o f Delay
had waited. Twenty years earlier
Grocer (suggestively)—You haven’t
Turkey (backed by England, France paid that little bill of mine, y e t
and Sardinia) had beuten Russia In
Legislator (pensively)—No; It has
the Crimea. The wound still rankled. only just passed the second reading.
Russia, moreover, had for a long time
yearned to absorb her eastern rival
BO TH VERY STRONG
or to annex as much of the latter’s
territory as possible. The other na
tions, however, had no Idea of allow
ing the "balance of power” to be thus
shifted, and Russia had been able to
find no occasion to promote her
schemes.
Now, under pretext of
avenging the Injuries Inflicted on Bal
kan Christians, the czar declared war
(1877) agulnst Turkey.
A Russian army crossed the Dan
ube June 27. On July 13 General
Gourko made the difficult passage of
the Balkan mountains and advanced
on Adrianople, but w as driven back.
In December he recrossed the Balkan
range, vanquishing a Turkish army of
82,000 at Shlpka pass (January 0,
1878). Osman Pasha, the sultan's
Onion— Pm the strongest person In
best general, meantime had held his the world.
own against the invaders and had at
Boarding-house-butter — Are
you
length occupied the city of Plevna. overlooking met
Here he endured for twenty weeks a
memorable siege against superior
Ain’t It the Truth, Ruth?
numbers, but was In the end forced . O ft, w hen a child, I used to wish
to surrender. With the fall of Plevna
T o be a bird and t w itte r ;
the Turkish cause weakened. Phlllp- Fm w is er now— 'tls m y am blsh
T
o be a h o m a-run h itte r.
popolls and Adrlanopolis were taken,
* and the Russian armies marched un
Sura Sign
checked on to Constantinople.
“So BUklna Is dead. Did he leave
Here, however, with the fruits of
victory within their very grasp, the much T
“I think not. His heirs all seem to
conquerors were halted by the powers.
The old menace of “destroying the be on the best terms with each other.”
balance of power” seemed about to be
Musically Expressed
fulfilled, and the Russians were for
bidden to enter the Turkish capital.
“I told my husband about those
By the pence treaty of San Stefano, gowns that are selling for a song."
“What did he say?”
however, Rumanian Bessarabia and
“He said If-I expected him to fur
part of Armenia were ceded to Rus
sia. Bulgaria was made a principal nish toe notes I’d better change my
ity with home rule; Rumania, Serbia tune.”
and Montenegro were declared free
countries, and Bosnia and Herzego
Better Wear ’Em
vina came under Austro-Hungarian
“Clothes give a man a lot of con
sway. So ended the Russo-Turkish fidence."
war of 1877-1878. Turkey, far from
“Yes, they certainly do. I go a lot
profltlng by her lesson, continued to of places with them that I wouldn't go
oppress her Christian provinces. In without them.”—Hardware Age.
1895 massacres of Christians In Ar
menia, and even in Constantinople,
W hat H e Objected To
horrified civilization. Christians In
"I hear that Richwood’s daughter
Crete revolted, by way of showing
ran away with the chauffeur."
their disapproval, and asked Greece
“Y es; and Richwood Is nearly crazy
to annex their Island. A Greek mili
over IL"
tary force w as sent to Crete. Turkey
“Well, It Is hard to lose a daughter,
at once declared war, thrashed Greece
but they took the motor car with
In one brief campaign and wrung
from the beaten country a heavy war them.
Indemnity.
P rsm a fsrr«
The Balkan peninsula still teems
“Karl, Is the man who Just gave
with plot, counterplot. Intrigue, mis
rule and discontent
The Balkan you a cigar a friend of yours?”
“I don’t know ; I haven’t lit the cigar
problem will, perhaps, never be
yet"—Vienna Faun.
solved.
I
Humor
U tiliz in g Forest Products
Dr. P e ery ’» “ D ead S h o t” Is p o w erfu l, b u t
sa fe. One done w ill ex p el W orm s or T a p e
w orm ; no c a s to r o il n eed ed . A dv.
Wise Old Owl I
This hundsome old mansion on fashionable New Hampshire avenue In Washington has been purchused by
the Women’s National Democratic club for Its headquarters in the national capltul. The club hus made rapid progress
In the last few years.
England’s Newest and Most Powerful Battleship
When Anarharsls visited Solon he
found the daddy of all legislators busy
compiling his laws. Anacharsls, who
was a bold and rather raucous fellow,
laughed at him, to quote Plutarch, for
Imagining the dishonesty and covetous
ness of his countrymen could be re
strained by written laws, which were
like spiders’ webs, and would catch,
It Is true, the weak and poor, but
could easily be broken by the mighty
and rich. This was said about 500
years before C hrist—S t Louis Post-
Dispatch.
Taxi Driver
If there is one thing
that counts most in
getting away fast to
beat traffic and for
speed in fast runs it’s
spark plugs. I use
Champions every time.
C iu x m r U - u liw iwr:«v
•p orli
bveau ,« a) i u
d o ttb U - n b b td «illim u a .
ite c o r e - i u l u o p i « ,
ctm xtruvtion a n d i u « be.
d a l a n u iju i, «U avod vx,
C h a m p io n X —
fo r F o r d .
60/
C h a m p io n —
Car» other
than Ford»
75K
TOLEDO, O H IO
Bell-Ans H alts O ver-A cidity
This Widely Used Sure Relief Can Be
Depended On Every Time.
How disagreeable, how exasperat
ing, how embarrassing to be a sufferer
from gas, belching, heartburn, sick
headuche, nausea and other digestive
disorders. BELL-ANS for Indigestion
Is a harmless, pleusant Sure Relief.
Tested by over 30 years' use. 25c and
75c Pkgs. at all drug stores, or send
for free samples to Bell & Cs., Inc.,
Orangeburg, N. Y.—Adv.
As Usual
The II. M. 8. Nelson, England's newest and most powerful battleship afloat, as It left Newcastle for Ports
mouth to go through naval maneuvers. It was constructed at Newcastle, and Is named after Lord Nelson, one of
England's most famous sea fighters.
Turned Down by the Royal Academy
COUNTESS DE CAEN
Passenger—Is the train running
late?
Porter—Yes, mum. I don’t know
of any new arrangements.—London
Opinion.
W r lx h t’s In d ia n V eg eta b le P ills co n ta in
o n ly v eg e ta b le In gred ien ts, w h jch a ct g e n tly
a s a to n ic la x a tiv e , by s tim u la tio n — n ot Irri
ta tio n . 171 P ea rl St.. N. T. A dv.
Old-Fashioned
First Girl—Mary makes me sick.
Second—Me, too. She tries so hard
to be feminine.
John Collier, fumed artist, with his painting ot George liernard Shuw,
British writer and critic, which has been turned down by the hanging com
mittee for this year’s Royal academy exhibit In London.
“Uncle Mose” Waiting for Relief
EYES
disfigure youp.
L ooks J
Don’t experiment on
them, ui« MITCHELL
EYE SALVE tor ip.ed»
•
rettet. Abeolutely u t a
a ll d r u g g is ts .
—
HALL A ftUCKEL, Naw York City
RURNSandSCALDS
■A
Stop the throbbing and smarting
nt once with a soothing touch of
Resinol
Callouses
4
F*
Quick, safe, sura relief from
painful callouses on the feet.
A to ll drug and xhoe
jo rs e w r*
Z ifio -p a t/s
¿ a ia te fo n «
CARBUNCLES
Carboil draws out the core
and gives quick relief
C A R B O IL
/A All DtuMlsts — Mone; beck
Ouarsnte*
- seuRuocetaSiua co-
txx. t s m n .
W’hen a fool Is angry he opens his
mouth and shuts hto eyes.
W . N. U-, PO RTLAND, NO. 22-1927.
A censor will never think a bad
odor Is a delightful perfume, so there’s
no serious danger.
A hear Is not at all fussy. At any
zoo he cheerfully ents anything the
children give him.
Countess Constance IUIlyer de Caen,
descendent of French royalty, who Is
In Washington organizing parties of
American gold star mothers for visits
to the graves of their soldier dead In
France. She will also arrange vlsltr
by proxy to the graves for motherr
who cannot afford the trip to France
SEA LAWYER
Albert Rooke
Makes His Comeback
W ins six-year fight for health. N ow w ell and strong
a t 6 0 . Husky as ever, he praises Tanlac
“U nde Mose” with all his worldly goods waiting on the high section of
the levee at Greenville, Miss., for the return of the Red Cross relief steamer
to take him down the river to the newly established camp for refugees at
Monroe, La.
T hey Satiety
“Tin afraid w e ll have to postpone
Another step has been taken by the execution. The prisoner la very
American manufacturers In conserv dck.”
ing the forest products. Until re
"What’s the matter T"
cently the chips and w aste from the
"He wanted to smoke a last dgaret
big lumber yards were either sold for <nd he’d never smoked before.”—Le
fuel or burned on the spot to gat It I’de-Mele, Paria
out o f the way- Now chips and- waste
from certain woods are saved and
T h a t K in d o f Cheese
sold to the paper mills, which In turn
Walter—HI admit the bolse are
make paper pulp from this h erate huu
wasted wood. Some o f these chips rather la n e In the Swiss cheese, sir.
Patron—Never mind, man. It needs
hitherto thrown away as waste, make
plenty o f fresh air.
C ave Lesser Man H is
Brief Hour of Triumph
SHORT ITEMS OF INTEREST
Antoinette Dolores Ilechner, twenty-
eight, authority on maritime law, and
the only woman attorney ever ad
mitted to practice maritime law before
the United States Supreme court
She Is also «pedal attorney for the
United States shipping board and
the Interstate commerce commission,
maritime division.
First Beefeteah Club
A Beefsteak club founded In the
reign of Queen Anne early In the
Eighteenth century to believed to have
been the flreL It was composed ot the
“chief wits and groat men of tbs na
tion,” and bad for Its badge a gridiron
ta made a favorite dish o f epi-
Many kinds of Insects spread plant
la ancient Rome.
and animal diseases.
York d ty uses more electric-
Shanghai Is larger In population
do twelve European nations than New Orleans, Cincinnati and Buf
falo combined.
B uilt an the Sand
la has a law which gives 81jOOO
A bey Just ham near Cllthero<
one w eo kills or capturas a Yorkshire, England, to the latest ar
If hedging a growing youth about
with mors wire fiances will keep him
rival of five living generations
A laaka cost as tT.2On.ono The out
Man who work with their hands are straight, then hto Intellectual growth
put of her mines since 1880 Is rained being paid, collectively, 27 per cent to not worth a copper.—Jam es Hun
at 8050,000,006.
mere than they wore 88 y e a n ago.
At 1830 West 39th Place, Los An
geles, lives Albert A. Itooke. a re
spected citizen with 38 years of active
railroad experience. He tells of a very
interesting experience.
‘‘About seven years ago," says Mr.
Rooke, “my stomach and liver went
bock on me. 11 was a most distressing
experience. Nothing seemed to agreo
with me: I lost all desire for food. A
sound night’s sleep was out of the
question, so I rose each morning tired
and peplessL- Then constipation de
veloped and made life a continuous
misery. I lost weight and could hardly
drag myself around a good deal of the
time. After six yean of that I was all
in. Along came the ‘flu’ when I had
no resistance left. That was about the
last straw. Nothing seemed tohelpme.
“On a friend’s advice I tried Tanlac,
and that certainly did help. I soon
began to get refreshing sleep again, to
eat with old-time seat. The distressing
Stomach and liver troubles disap
peared. Briefly, Tanlac put me on
toy feet, with all my old-time vigor
and enjoyment of life. I put on weight
and after five bottles was as well as
ever in m y life. T hat w as a year ago.
I ’m still in fine shape, as you see. Few
men of 61) areas well as I am , thanks
to Tanlac.”
Tanlac is nature's own tonic ami
body builder, made from roots, herl-s
and barks by the famous Tanlac for
mula. T ty a bottle—it may do for you
what it did for Mr. Rooke. Your drug
gist has i t Over 52 million bottles sold.