The Hermiston herald., May 26, 1917, Image 6

THE
HERMISTON HERALD,
03240
CHINA’S
LYDIA CRAVEN SURPRISES HER FATHER MAKING LOVE
SHEEP’S
CLOTHING
By LOUIS JOSEPH VANCE
...... =====..... =
Author of
“THE LONE WOLF,"
THE
======
BRASS BOWL,”
Etc.
CHAPTER IV.—Continued.
TO ANOTHER WOMAN—THERE IS EMBARRASSMENT,
BUT LYDIA MAKES TWO REAL FRIENDS
SYNOPSIS.—A well-bred young Englishwoman, nervous and sus­
picious, finds when she boards the steamer Alsatia, bound from Liv­
erpool to New York, that her stateroom mate is Mrs. Amelia Beggar-
staff, a fascinating, wealthy American widow of about sixty years.
The girl introduces herself as Lucy Carteret and says she is going to
America to meet her father. Lucy's behavior puzzles Mrs. Beggar­
staff, who is vastly surprised to find her possessing a magnificent
necklace which was stolen from a museum collection some time pre­
viously, and passes the news on to her friend, Quota, a private de­
tective on board. Lucy, dressing In the dark In her stateroom, hears a
mysterious conversation between two men just outside her window
and recognizes one of them as Thaddeus Craven, her father. Amazed,
she hurries up on deck, searches about and finds him making love to
Mrs. Merrilees, wealthy, beautiful young widow and friend of Mrs. Beg­
garstaff, to whom Lucy has just confessed that she is really Lydia
Craven.
But before she could re-collect her
wits and slip quietly away Craven ab­
ruptly lifted his head and looked di­
rectly at his daughter; and now she
knew him positively. Though his jaw
"No !” she insisted when Craven
dropped, his mouth gaped, and his eyes
stared prominently from a countenance promptly ranged himself at her side.
that In a twinkling darkened portent­ “Let me go for tonight, Tad. I’d pre­
ously above the blank pallor of his fer to be alone to think things out.
shirt bosom, in every lineament he was Tomorrow, perhaps—”
Her smile flashed uncertainly toward
Thaddeus Craven of the sempiternally
youthful face, showed never a Une to Lydia as she disappeared round the
declare he wasn’t thirty-one but a shoulder of the deckhouse.
Craven delayed, however, barely long
round decade older.
enough
for a word, “Walt here—I
For a moment whose tension lent It
the length of many, father and daugh­ sha'n't be long.”
Lydia said nothing, but watched him
ter remained transfixed and staring.
Then his emotion communicated itself go with eyes confused with pain, she
to the woman in his arms. Startled and who had found herself suddenly rele­
wondering, she unveiled her eyes, gated from the status of a well-beloved
caught a shadowed glimpse of the third child to that of a stumbling block In
figure, disengaged, and drew away. And the path of her father’s ambition, who
Craven suffered this without a sign to could no longer doubt that he had
indicate that he had not forgotten her, planned to keep her existence secret
maintaining his poise and stare with a Until his marriage to this Mrs. Merri­
fixity that, penetrating Lydia’s confu­ lees of the fabulous fortune should be
a consummated fact.
sion, stirred her curiosity.
She stood desolate amid a debris of
Taking one step toward him, she
paused again, lifted one hand in a ges­ illusions, who had never known a moth­
ture at once apologetic and appealing, er, and now had lost a father. Her
eyes filled. He hadn’t even kissed her
and said falterlngly, "Daddy—”
With visible effort Craven pulled after five years’ separation ! Resting
himself together and made an attempt arms upon the taffrail, she turned a
to speak; but only a husky whisper forlorn face to the night-clad sea, her
rattled tn his throat. Then his glance mood fraught with vast disconsolation.
A footfall sounded behind her, and
veered uncertainly to Mrs. Merrilees.
Abruptly this last, overcoming her she wheeled sharply about to join issue
astonishment, precipitated the situa- with her father. But It was Peter
tion. The blush that had shadowed Traft who, briskly rounding the deck­
her exquisite face ebbed again, leaving house, pulled up short at sight of that
it incomparably fair. She threw back tense young person, Lydia, with her
her shoulders and took full advantage shoulders back, her chin up, and defi­
ance a-glimmer in her eyes.
of her inches.
"I beg your pardon—” He peered
"Really, Miss Carteret—” she began ; eagerly to make certain ; for the moon
and then her voice of crystal clearness was just then thinly veiled In cloud.
broke in a cool and tinkling laugh.
“It’s Miss Carteret, isn’t it?”
"Oh, do forgive me, Mrs. Merrilees !
"Yes, Mr. Traft," said the girl qui­
I never dreamed—I expected to find etly, relaxing. "Good evening."
my father alone—”
He seemed puzzled by her manner,
“Father!" With that Iteration of started to say something, reconsidered
superb insolence, Mrs. Merrilees be­ sharply, then ventured with engaging
came once more completely mistress of deference, “It’s good to see you up and
herself ; * and If her tone cried scorn about again.”
upon a presumptuous girl, her look de­
“It feels pretty good, thank you,”
manded explanation of the man.
she said, with a smile that gave him
But Craven had needed no more time courage.
to make good his recovery. It was his
“Hope I didn't startle you, galumph­
familiar self who stepped Into this ing into your solitude without warning.
breach, amiable, unruffled, perhaps a Fact is, I was looking for old Tad Cra­
abade too devil-may-care; but to bal­ ven. We’re needing a fourth. I don’t
ance that there was a not unbecoming suppose you know Craven, though?”
ring of deference In his voice. "I’m
“Oh, yes, I've known Mr. Craven a
afraid," he said, "my surprise knocked long time.”
me silly for a moment. Lydia, I’d no
"Really? He’s a wonder, Isn’t he?”
idea you were on board ; but you seem Traft exclaimed with enthusiasm.
already to know Mrs. Merrilees. Betty, "Everybody's friend—not an enemy in
permit me to present my daughter."
the world. I don’t believe there’s a
“Your daughter, Tad?” There was better-liked man in New York—our
unpropitious raillery in the woman’s New York, that Is.”
tone.
“Your New York? You see, I've al­
Craven replied only by a bow.
ways lived In England, and have lots
“Do you realize this is my first inti­ to learn about—home.”
mation that you were asking me to be­
"Sheer snobbery on my part,” Peter
come a stepmother?"
admitted cheerfully. “I meant the
“I’ve much to tell you, Betty,” Cra­ very small part of New York that we
ven answered with grave simplicity; Infest, whom my friend Mr. Martin
then, turning to his daughter, “Lydia, likes to call the ‘Idle rich.' If he only
Mrs. Merrilees has just done me the knew I"
honor to promise to become my wife,
"But are you?”
and—the truth is—"
"I'm afraid I'm Idle enough; but as
“To come out I" Mrs. Merrilees sup­ for riches, I'm poverty’s poor relation.”
plied incisively.
“But what do you do?”
He laughed a little awkwardly. "Ex­
“Oh, I play a good hand at bridge,
actly! I mean to say, It was all quite a fair racket at tennis, and am always
unpremeditated. It isn’t fifteen min­ on hand to fill In when somebody
utes since we found we—ah—loved doesn’t show up for dinner." The least
each other; since when I—have been trace of bitterness flavored this gratu­
rather too preoccupied to advise Mrs. itous account of himself, and the per­
Merrilees of all my affairs. In another oration was accompanied by an uneasy
hour, of course, she would have known. laugh. “In short, I'm what your Eng­
As it is if the fact of my prior mar­ lish friends call a waster. But please
riage—"
don't think that I’m bidding for serious
“Tad !" Mrs. Merrilees Interjected consideration."
with a spirit thut commanded his def­
“I understand,” the girl said quietly.
erence. "We're neither of us fools.
“f didn't mean to bore you, either.”
Don't overdo things. You’re talking
“You didn't; but you made me think
stupidly—quite unlike yourself.
I —and wonder.”
don’t care to hear more until you've
“Why I'm content to be—so use­
found your bearings; and I want time less?”
to find mine, into the bargain. That's
She nodded, with her shadowy smile.
fair, Isn’t it?”
A wry grin answered that. “You
“Nothing more so," he affirmed cheer­ certainly take the curse off of it," Traft
fully.
averred. "Candor like yours is good
"Then I’ll leave you to your—family for the egotism. The register of my
reunion !"
self-esteem Is now subnormal.”
“I didn’t mean to be unpleasant, Mr.
Fugitively Craven's eyes conveyed
what was at ones a demand and an Traft.”
“Don’t, please. Thus far you’ve done
appeal. But before Lydia could re­
spond Mrs. Merrilees anticipated, with me good; but If you say more, betray
a quick movement crossing to drop her the least real Interest in me. I’ll get
hands lightly upon the girl’s shoulders. chesty and need taking down again.
“My dear Miss Craven !" she said And I’m forgetting Craven.”
“He was here only a few minutes
with an odd little catch in her voice.
“I’m not sure yet I ought to call you ago. and promised to come back before
Lydia ; but I’m awfully fond of your long.”
“Then may I wait? You don’t mind?"
father, and—and If I can get over what
"No,” said the girl. "Indeed, I’ve
doesn't seem an unfair suspicion that
he's kept me too long In the dark something to tell you. You've praised
about you, I shall probably marry him." him to my face, and that makes me
“I can't wish him greater good for­ want to tell you. I’m not Lucy Car­
teret. really, Mr. Traft. My name is
tune,” said Lydia quietly.
"You are a dear! And so beauti­ Lydia Craven. Thaddeus Craven is
ful—I’m jealous. Do you think. Tad, my father."
"Oh. I say!” Peter stared incredu­
It is wise to have two blondes In one
family? Don't answer, please. It’s a lously. “Not Tad Craven’s daughter!
riddle I must solve to my own satis- You're serious?”
“Quite."
faction before I listen to you again.
He nodded. "I see you are. But—
But—I’m serious—think It over.”
With a transient tightening of her well—you have surprised me. I don't
grasp on Lydia’s shoulders, a pressure suppose a soul who knows him would
that conveyed a hint of friendliness, believe Tad Craven anything but a
the woman turned awa"
convinced bacbeic-'”
STON,
“BATTLE-AX”
OREGON.
COINS
Small Models of Various Utensils
Used as Medium of Exchange in
2255 B. C.
Haskell Oriental museum at Univer­
sity of Chicago has recently been pre­
sented with a remarkable collection of
coins by Jacob Speicher of Shanghai,
China. Chinese coins, medals and am­
ulets to the number of 844, arranged
in historical sequence, are supplement­
ed by coins of Annam and Korea, with
a few from the old regime of Japan.
Altogether, 1,068 specimens are in­
cluded. The donor was engaged in
their collection some twelve years in
China. After being on exhibition for
three or four years at the Boston Mu­
seum of Fine Arts, they are now per­
manently located in Chicago.
Our adjective “pecuniary” still bears
witness to the cattle which served
early Rome as measures of value. In
China likewise, but far earlier, actual
commodities had constituted the first
medium of exchange. The Chinese,
however, seem to have preferred metal
objects, especially battle axes and
knives. As government credit became
established, it was found more con­
venient to coin small models of these
utensils. The exhibit begins, then,
with "battle-ax” coins, some of which
date back traditionally to the period
2255-1122 B. C. Even with the adop­
tion of a later date this would proba­
bly give China first place in the study
of numismatics.
“Knife” coins form an Interesting
group. Their round handles, with
holes In the center, two of which are
distinguished by a square perforation,
are supposed to have furnished the
pattern for the round cash with square
holes so regularly used later. Other
peculiar shapes are “bridge” and the
pebblelike pellets called by the Chi­
nese numismatists “ant” coins. All
these oldest, most brittle copper speci­
mens are mounted In handsome trays
of camphor wood. The largest object
In Mr. Speicher’s collection is a mag­
nificent medal with dragon decoration,
bestowed as a reward for loyalty by
the ruler, Wu Tsung (1525 A. D.).—
Boston Transcript.
So—it was true—Craven had never
mentioned his daughter to his friends !
Staring seaward, Lydia worked her
hands together gently; and, watching
her closely, the man saw her face fugi­
tively convulsed. And wisely he held
silence.
"Mrs. Beggarstaff knows.” the girl
said presently, “and Mrs. Merrilees.
and I dare say by tomorrow all his
acquaintances on the ship will know.
So, you see, I'm not violating bls con­
fidence. Only you spoke of him so
warmly that you made me want you
to understand.” A quaver touched her
tone; but she persisted: Tm afraid
I’ve made a great mistake—embar­
rassed him horribly, turning up this
way. But I didn’t know he was a pas­
senger. I supposed, of course, he was
at home—in New York—”
Much of Peter’s charm lay In his In­
stinctive recognition of those times
when it is wisest to say nothing. No­
body could leave everything unsaid in
a way more eloquent of sympathetic
comprehension. So he stood very still,
covertly watching her face and won­
dering.
“I couldn’t help if— They forced me
to It—the people I lived with in Lon­
don. I knew It wasn’t right, because I
didn’t love him. How can one marry
Character* of "Macbeth.”
a person one doesn’t love? But when
I wrote to daddy he wouldn’t even an­ The names of some of the leading
swer, and I couldn’t help it—I had- to characters In the play of “Macbeth”
run away! And now, of course, he’s were borne by real persons who fig­
furious with me—turning up here like ured in Scotch history, but the charac­
ters themselves and the events of the
the bad penny—”
“Why should he resent that? I don’t play are imaginary. Macbeth was a
see why he couldn't have told us he Scottish king and Macduff was a Scot­
had a daughter—especially one like tish nobleman of the middle ages.
you ! It seems to me, the innocent by­ History states that Macbeth slew Dun­
stander, that Tad hadn’t any right to can in 1039 because he had usurped
the throne to which Macbeth had the
pose—”
"Don’t! We mustn’t misjudge him. better claim. But the circumstances
You’re his friend: surely you ought of the slaying were entirely different
to make allowances for him, if I can. from those described by Shakespeare
I’m sure he must have had his rea­ with large poetic license. Banquo has
sons—good enough reasons, if we only a Scotch sound, but no person of that
knew. Why must he take the world name figures In Scotch history and
Shakespeare seems to have created
into his confidence?"
Dumfounded, Peter stared; then re­ him mainly In order to name a ghost.
membered himself that woman nature In the play he Is killed by order of
was a singular thing, its mental proc­ Macbeth and In one of the most pow­
esses defying masculine analysis. erful scenes of the play his ghost ap­
“You’re right,” he asserted meekly, pears at a banquet, visible only to
after a pause. “Of course you’re right I Macbeth, and terrifying him while un­
I’ve known Tad Craven a long time seen by the other banqueters.
and pretty well, if he is a bit older,
Shrine of Health-Seekers.
and I know he wouldn’t do anything
The age of miracles is over, but the
dishonorable or calculated to hurt any
little French town of Lourdes Is not
body. He’s not that kind.”
Impulsively Lydia’s hand went out aware of the fact. This is today the
to Peter’s ; but In the long instant that leading shrine of Europe, and hun­
of thousands of pilgrims annual­
they sat hand In hand and eye to eye. dreds
ly visit it, many of them in search of
each smiling a trace consciously, sig­
nals of distress showed In her waver­ a cure for incurable ills. There have
ing glance, and within his grasp the been many surprising instances of
pressure of her firm young fingers les­ healing performed by the waters of
sened until reluctantly he released Lourdes, and scores of physicians
come every year to watch and investi­
them.
gate the cures. Everything is done
“What Is it?” Peter asked gently.
“Only my presumptuousness—inflict­ with a scientific thoroughness that is
ing you with my troubles, demanding characteristic of the French, whose
your sympathy, as if I’d any right passion for clear thinking is such that
they will investigate even what some
whatever—’’
"I’m your father’s friend, at least, of them consider supernatural phe­
Miss Craven, and—such as I am—11 nomena with the microscope. Invalids
you care to think of me as your friend coming to Lourdes are registered at a
too. I’ll be very glad—not to say vain­ 'bureau, and examined by eminent
physicians before and after they have
glorious.”
She wouldn’t have been a human girl visited the shrine.
had she lacked coquetry. A suspicion
Insomnia Only a Habit
of mischief lightened the smile with
One of the reasons why insomnia Is
which she regarded him, head judg-
matically Inclined a bit to one side. so much dreaded Is that it Is wrongly
“Mrs. Beggarstaff seems to think well conceived by many of the laity to be
a disease. There Is no such disease
of yon—”
“She’s kind-hearted — and easily and In Its simple form, where there is
no positive disease in the background,
amused.”
“How you do continually cry your it is merely a bad cell habit, kept alive
by some fault In the manner of living,
self down! What Is one to think?"
"When a man has the grace to speak some breach of brain discipline, or
humbly of himself. Miss Craven, listen some disturbance In the functions of
with gratitude and amazement: truth the body that results In Insistent mes­
sages being sent to the brain centers
Is rare music in this world !”
“Yet you urge your friendship upon during sleep or while we are trying to
sleep. Trying to sleep is a pathetic
me.”
“It Is all I have to offer," he dropped and futile task, and much better re­
for a moment his bantering tone: sults usually can be obtained by not
“poor currency, perhaps, but not coun­ trying to sleep.—World's Work.
terfeit; lightweight, but without alloy."
No Excuse for Being Late.
Then suddenly she was grave again
“I see a Chicago woman Is the In­
“You are kind." she averred wistfully,
ventor of a dressing table with detach­
“and—I need friends."
able legs, the whole affair folding so
that It can be carried like a suitcase.”
"No use for her being late at the
Do you believe that Thaddeus
opera now. She can take along the
Craven la an honest man? And
dressing table and finish when she gets
does it occur to you that he may
there.”
try to get rid of Lydia In order
to insure ths success of his
projects—whatever they may be?
Correcting an Abuse.
Will AID FARMER
New Methods of Obtaining Ni­
trates Most Important.
Setting Supply From Air Not Only Big
Factor in Nation's Defense But
in Enlarging Crop*.
The National Geographic society
discussing the question of the nitrate
supply of the world points out that
as a result of the scientific experi­
ments that have been going on for the
past two or three years, processes for
securing nitrogen from the air, as well
as others for securing it from our
coal deposits, promise to give us an
absolute independence of any other
nation in the world for nitrate supplies
in the future. The bulletin says :
The much-discussed Issue of a future
nitrogen supply seems to have been
solved by scientists here and abroad
since the outbreak of the war in Eu­
rope. Heretofore the world has had to
depend mainly upon the nitrate beds of
Chile for the nitrogen. Many processes
for extracting nitrogen from the air
where it is to be found in superabund­
ant quantities, since it constitutes
about three-fourths of all of our at­
mosphere, have been developed, but
most of them have proved so expensive
as to be prohibitive except in times of
emergency. Recently, however, there
has been discovered and put In use
a new process that is said to reduce
the horsepower required to extract a
given amount of nitrogen to one­
twelfth of the former proportion. The
result of this will probably be that In
the years to come the world will find
a cheaper source of nitrogen right at
hand in the air than has ever been
found In the nitrate beds of Chile.
It has also been found that through
the cooking process big supplies of ni­
trogen can be extracted from coal. En­
gineers now estimate that If we were
to coke twice as much coal as we have
in the past, which would still be less
than 5 per cent of our total coal out­
put, the nitrogen that we could secure
therefrom would be more than enough
to meet all of our needs as a nation,
either in peace or in war. In the cok­
ing of coal a substance Is recovered
which is called by the chemist “ben­
zol.” The expenses of recovery are
not excessively great, and just at the
time when our government was an­
nouncing that there was no real ni­
trate deposit anywhere In sight in the
United States of really Important
value, the descriptions of the Haber
process of extraction from the air and
of the processes for recovery from coal
have been most timely.
Not only will the new processes of
extracting a bountiful supply of nitro-
gen from the air and from coal be an
advantage to us in the matter of de­
fending our country, and in putting
It upon an Independent basis from a
world standpoint, but it will be an im­
mense advantage to us In our agricul­
ture. The most expensive element
■ that we have to put into the soil to
farm profitably Is nitrogen. We ordi­
narily buy It in the shape of nitrate,
green bone, or decomposed animal mat­
ter, and the farmer’s fertilizer bill Is
always heavy if he wants to produce
large crops. A cheap source of nitro­
gen, such as we might expect from a
system of cheap filtration from the air,
will enable the American farmer, large
as his crops may have been tn the past,
to produce two bushels of grain where
formerly he produced one, and to help
feed a rapidly expanding world popu­
lation.
Says a glass of hot water and
phosphate prevent* iliness
and keep* u* fit.
Just as coal, when it burns, leaves
behind a certain amount of Incom­
bustible material in the form of ashes,
so the food and drink taken day after
day leaves in the alimentary canal a
certain amount of indigestible mater­
ial, which If not completely eliminated
from the system each day, becomes
food for the millions of bacteria which
Infest the bowels. From this mass of
left-over waste, toxin* and ptomain-
llke poisons are formed and sucked
into the blood.
Men and women who can’t get feel­
ing right must begin to take inside
baths. Before eating breakfast each
morning drink a glass of real hot
water with a teaspoonful of limestone
phosphate in it to wash out of the
thirty feet of bowels the previous
day’s accumulation of poisons and
toxins and to keep the entire alimen­
tary canal clean, pure and fresh.
Those who are subject to sick head-
ache, colds, biliousness, constipation,
others who wake up with bad taste,
foul breath, backache, rheumatic stiff­
ness, or have a sour, gassy stomach
after meals, are urged to get a quarter
pound of limestone phosphate from
the drug store, and begin practicing
internal sanitation. This will cost
very little, but is sufficient to make
anyone an enthusiast on the subject.
Remember Inside bathing Is more
important than outside bathing, be­
cause the skin pores do not absorb
impurities into the blood, causing poor
health, while the bowel pores do. Just
as soap and hot water cleanses, sweet­
ens and freshens the skin, so hot water
and limestone phosphate act on the
stomach, liver,
it ____
In The Bill.
“I’m afraid,” said the junior member
of the law firm, "that we are caus­
ing our client unnecessary trouble.”
“Oh, that’s all right,” rejoined the
senior member; “we'll charge him for
IL”—Boston Transcript
Hard Prescription.
Doctor—My dear sir, you must give
your wife some considerable change at
once.
Husband—Can’t do It, doctor; you’ve
got it all.—Baltimore American.
Higher Joy.
Being hampered by strict parents,
Herbert's chief joy, up to the age of
8, had been the weekly prayer meet­
ing. When he arrived at the age of
discretion a wordly minded relative
smuggled him Off to a circus. Herbert
came home bursting with enthusiasm.
“Oh, mother,” he cried, “If you once
went to a circus you’d never go to a
prayer meeting again in all your life.”
—Exchange.
He—Didn’t I hear that your son ex­
pects to be a veterinary?
She—Why, no—he hasn’t even en­
listed, yet.—Judge.
Send 10c to Dr. Pierce Invalids’ Ho­
tel, Buffalo, for large trial package of
“Anuric” for kidneys, cures backache.
In New York.
Hotel Clerk—Do you want a room
with a bath?
Uncle Hiram—Waal, no-o, I don’t
calculate I’ll be here Saturday night
—Princeton Tiger.
DON’T CUT OUT
A Shoe Boil,Capped
Hock or Bursitis
Great Secret Loot
FOR
At Delhi, in India, stands an an­
cient iron monument which, though ex­
posed to all weathers, never rusts or
decays. Yet it has no protective cov­
ering. Here is a secret which would
be simply invaluable to the world,
which had been discovered by some
Indian artificer of old and most unfor­
tunately lost At a meeting of steel
and iron men in London, the chairman
said that they could face the future
with complacency if they could redis­
cover the secret. To shipowners alone
It would mean a yearly saving of mil-
lions. Rust is the great enemy of the
steel ship and she has constantly to
go Into dock to have her hull coated
with an anticorrosive solution.—Los
Angeles Times.
ABSORBINE
White Bread.
will reduce them and leave no blemishes.
Stops lameness promptly. Does not blis-
ter or remove the hair, and horse can be
worked. $2 a bottle delivered. Book 6 M free.
ABSORBINE. JR., for
mankina,
the
antiseptic
liniment for Boil», Bruises, Sores, Swellings, Varicose Veins.
Allays Pain and Inflammation.
Price SI and $2 a bottle at
druggists or delivered. Will tell you more if you write
W. F. YOUNG, P.D.F., 403 Temple St., Springfield, Mass.
NERVOUSNESS
AND BLUES
Symptoms of More Serious
The experiment has been tried, a
Sickness.
dog cannot live longer than 13 days
on a diet of white bread. Neither can
Washington Park, III. — “I am the
a man. A dog or a man can live in­
definitely and fairly well on a diet of mother of four children and have suf­
fered with female
whole wheat bread alone. It is not
trouble, backache,
the best possible diet for continuous
nervous spelte and
service; but it is better than a con­
the blues. My chil­
tinuous diet of white bread. All you
dren’s loud talking
folks who gorge yourselves on white
and romping would
bread and imagine you are feeding
make me so nervous
yourselves are, as a matter of fact,
I could just tear
starving yourselves. More persons who
everything to pieces
eat much die of starvation than per-
and I would ache all
sons who get nothing to eat at all.
Job for Some Women.
Smith—Do you think that working
at high explosives is a fit occupation
for women?
Brown—Certainly I do.
Smith—Well, would you lot your
wife undertake It?
Brown—No; but I’d encourage her
mother to go into Iti
Mrs. Homebody—I’ve noticed that a
pound of your bulk coffee doesn't any­
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
where near fill one of our pound cans.
The Grocer—You'll not find that
Easily Changed.
“Is your portable garage satisfac­ trouble again, madam. I’m just get­
ting in some new-sized pound cans.
tory?”
“Oh, yea." replied the suburban
What One I*.
Diplomacy.
dweller, “It suits me very well and I’m
"Pop, what Is an egotist?" asked
Hokus—Well. I admit I made a mis-
glad for my wife's sake that I bought
Sammie, who doesn’t seem to know
take.
the portable kind.”
anything.
Pokus—You made two.
“Why sor
Hokus— What was the second?
"She's bad it moved half a dozen
Pokus—Owning up to the fret —
times because she didn’t think it looked
Judge.
veil from the street.”
Not a Bite of
Breakfast Until
You Drink Water
“An egotist, my boy. is a man who
sees In himself a composite of all the
virtues he sees in everybody else.”
over and feel so sick
that I would not
want anyone to talk
to me at times. Lydia E. Pinkham’s
Vegetable Compound and Liver Pills re­
stored me to health and I want to thank
you for the good they have done me. I
bave had quite a bit of trouble and
worry but it does not affect my youth­
ful looks. My friends say * Why do you
look so young and well ? ’ I owe it ail
to the Lydia E. Pinkham remedies.”
— Mrs. R obt . STOPIEL, Sage Avenue,
Washington Park, Illinois.
If you have any symptom about which
you would like to know write to the
Lydia K. Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn,
Mass , for helpful advice given free of