S
fr
Ï8
T TOME AXT) FARM MAGAZINE SECTION
law yer, b u tto n in g h is coat ab o u t him
and p u ttin g on his gloves, “you had
b e tte r plead g u ilty an d th ro w your
self on th e mercy of th e c o u rt."
T he T eacher T au g h t.
" I ’d do i t if you say so, sir. W hat
ISS NIXON, a ch arm in g society a re you going to ch arg e me fo r the
girl, had spent th e en tire sum ad v ice?”
m er in try in g to elevate th e
“Two d o lla rs.”
Simple country people w ith whom sh e
w as boarding. W hen she was ab o u t
G ra n d m o th e r 's S to ry .
to leave she s a id :
Two old ladies w ere once ta lk in g
“ Good-by, Mr. Ingersoll. I hope of how sm all babies som etim es are
m y visit here h a s n 't been en tirely w hen they a re born. One old lady
w ith o u t good re su lts."
said, com placently:
"S a rtin n o t,” replied th e old farm
“W hen I w as born, I was so sm all
e r; “y o u ’ve le a rn t a heap since you
you could p u t me in to a q u a rt ta n k
firs t com e; but, by neck, you was ard and sh u t d aoun th e lid.
ab o u t th e g reen est one we ever had
And th e o th e r old lady said, as
on our h an d s."
to u n d ed : “ W ’y, d id— you— liv e?’’
• • •
And th e firs t old lady said:
Such a Com pact.
"T hey say I did, an d grow ed nice
" 'Ullo, Mrs. M u rp h y !” cried Mrs.
P in k e r to h er neig h b o r at B olton’s ly."
. . .
C ourt. “ W hy, you looks quite festive
E n titled to a D oubt.
today. W o t’s u p ? "
One aftern o o n a m an ram bled Into
"W o t? ’A in’t you ’ea re d ? ” ex th e grocery sto re an d in ab o u t two
claim ed th e excited Mrs. M urphy
m in u tes his fine >7 tro u sers had
“ My son com es o u t to d ay ."
wiped up a la rg e q u a n tity of fresh
“T oday? I th o u g h t th e judge gave
paint.
*im seven y e a rs!”
" I t ’s y o u r own f a u lt! ” unsym pa
“ Yes, b u t th e y 're lettin* ’im o u t th etically declared th e grocerym an.
tw o years e a rlie r 'cos h e ’s be’aved
“ D idn’t you see th a t sign, ‘F resh
hisself so w ell.”
P a in t’?”
Mrs. P in k e r held up h er hands In
“ Yes, of course I d id !" was th e
p ious approbation.
peevish response of th e other. “ But
“ W ell!” she gasped. "A nd w hat a
I d id n ’t believe l t l "
com fort It m ust be to you, Mrs. Mur
“ D idn’t believe i t ! ” said th e gro-
phy, to 'ave such a splendid so n !’
cerym an, w ith a puzzled expression.
Stories With a Smile
M
"W as th e re any reason why you
sh o u ld n 't have believed i t ? ”
"B efore I agree to u n d erta k e your
Y es,” quickly responded th e man.
defonse,” said th e em inent crim inal “T h ere isn’t a day th a t I d o n ’t come
law yer, "you will have to tell me the In th is sto re and see som ething
w hole tru th . Did you embexzle the m arked ‘F re sh ’ th a t Isn ’t fre s h .”
1100,000 you are accused of having
• * *
ta k e n ? ”
T he L ast S traw .
‘‘Yes, s ir,” replied th e accused
One day a S cottish boy an d an
m an. " I ’ll n o t attem p t to conceal the E nglish boy, who w ere fig h tin g , w ere
fac t from you. I stole every cent of sep arated by th e ir respective m others
IL ”
w ith d ifficulty, th e S cottish boy,
“H ow m uch of it have you s till? ” th o u g h th e sm aller, being fa r th e
“ I t ’s all gone b u t a couple of dol m ost pugnacious.
la rs .”
"W h at g arred ye flc h t a big laddie
“ Y oung m a n ,” said th e em inent like th a t fo r? " said th e m o th er, as
■jshe w iped th e blood from his nose 1
"A nd I ’ll fig h t him a g a in ,” said
GOING EAST or
th e boy, "if h e says Scotsm en w ear
th e ir fee t are too big
COMING WEST k to ilts get because
in to th e ir tro u se rs."
T ak in g It A ll.
got so fidegty, sta n d in g f irs t on one
foot and th en th e o th er, th a t th e
“ best m a n " decided h e w ould find
o ut w hat th e tro u b le was.
" W h a t's up, J o c k ? " he w hispered.
"H ae ye lo st th e rin g ? "
"N o," answ ered the un h ap p y one,
w ith a w oeful look, " th e rin g 's safe
enough, b u t m an, I ’re lo st my e n th u
siasm .”
• • •
ing om niously a t his co n gregation,
“m o’ dan one pusson v.-idin de sound
o’ m uh voice will pay 50 cen ts to go
to de circus tomor" d at w ouldn’t dig
up a sin g le dim e to he'p o u t de re
vival d at, as de yum ble in s t’u m e n t
in de h an d s o' de Law d, I w as con
d u c tin ’ la st w ee k !"
"W ell, sa h ," rep lied Jim D inger,
th e gam b lin g m an, who seem ed to
th in k th e m in iste ria l gase w as d ire c t
Snapping It Bock.
ed a t him , "d e revival had o n ’y one
"B ru d d ren and sista h s,” severely clown, w hilst de circu s ad v e’tisea
said good old P arson B ag ster, g la r tw en ty ."
9
IT PAYS TO BUY A
GOOD PIANO
Cheap prices and special inducements should not influence the
Piano buyer.
We carry all grades of Pianos from $250.00 to $2,300.00, but
only makes iiPwbieh we have confidence and whieh we can recom
mend.
Onr Pianos from $250.00 to $375.00 include several makes
whieh are positively the best Pianos manufactured to sell at these
prices—the lowest prices at which good dependable Pianos caa
be sold.
We earry only one line of Player Pianos; th a t of the Aeolian
Company, makers of the world famous Pianolas. The Pianola is
furnished in six different makes of Pianos.
Write Us for Catalogues and Prices.
Sherman. Oay &Co.
Steinway, Weber and Other Pianos, Pianolas, Vietrolas,
and all the Records.
PORTLAND, OREGON.
WE ARE SO SURE
OF THE
W e can Serve you M oney
T he Curb.
"F
o
rtu
n
e
s,
th a n k s to o u r new tr u s t
SM nnki ratM on Hnuaeho’d Qooda. Plano*.
Avtocsaaiioa. eta.
Through consolidated c*r> law s, w ill n ever be m ade in th e fu
lanorln«
prompt
delivery
and
earefnJ tu re as th ey w ere m ade in th e p a st."
fraadHog.
The sp e ak e r w as S en ato r La Fol-
*tatea and inform ation tarnished on requeat lette. H e resu m ed :
"O u r new tr u s t law s are th e peo
Pacific Coast Forwarding Company
p le ’s cash reg ister. You know, of
ZOi W .lco . Bu.Idina, Portland O r.aon
course, th e cash re g iste r story?
"A young m an said to an old one:
“ ‘B ut, sir, is n ’t {8 a w eek ra th e r
low fo r th is job?-
“ ‘Low fo r it? ’ th e old m an an
sw ered. ’W hy, I sta rte d o.i th a t very
sam e job, back in 1879, a t $3 a week,
and today I own th e b u sin ess.’
" 'A h, yes,’ said th e young m an,
‘h u t y o u r em ployer d id n ’t use cash
reg isters. Mine does.’ 't— W ash in g
to n S tar.
• • •
BO RR O W T H IS CAR
FOR A YEAR
A fu ll y ea r’» uao at practically
no cost — perhapa you’r e never
thought of it in thia way before»
but i t ’s a fact nevertheless that
today you can buy a re-built Win*
ton and after using it for a full
season sell it w ithout a cent of de
preciation.
I t ’s lik e borrowing a car from
your friend for a year and return
in g it to him after using it for 365
days.
E very traded-in W inton S i r -
many o f them come to na in part-
paym ent on new models each year
— 4a given a thorough overhauling
in the W inton shops and brought
up to the regular Winton standard
— fine six cylinder self • cranking
autom obiles.
T hese in turn are disposed of
to our rapidly increased list of
“ u se d ” ear custom ers at exactly
the price allow ed for them when
taken in excharge.
A xes to Grind.
S ir George P arish th e E nglish
econom ist, said to a New York re
p o rte r:
“T h ere a re w orld-w ide prospects
of good tim es. T hey who bew ail bad
tim es have no rhym e o r reason to do
so, except th a t th ey ’ve g ot an ax to
grind.
"T hey rem ind me of th e ragged '
u rch in crying in th e slum s.
" ‘W h at are you cry in g fo r? ’ the
rich lady v isito r asked.
" ‘D unno,’ h e replied. -W otcher
g o t? ”
•
•
«
C old F eet.
D uring a m a rriag e cerem ony In
S cotland recen tly th e bridegroom
looked ex trem ely w retched, and he
P h o n . Main ITM
LIFE
HEALTH
ACCIDENT
In thia way the buyer is able te
pick up a W inton Six at about
half the eost of the same car new
and is ta lly protected by the com
p o n y ’s guarantee that it w ill give
the sa tisfa ctio n for whieh Winton
8 i x e s are famed. Let us send yon
t o d a y oar l * t « l complete b .r g eia
lirt.
p
THE W INTON MOTOR CAR CO.
Portland. Oregon
V O N TRACT
Seattle. W asi
Spokace. Wash
QUALITY
OF
Gold Shield
Corree
/ " 'a
That we ask you to give Gold Shield a
trial, feeling that you will then insist
on Gold Shield when
buying coffee.
SCHW ABACHER BROS.
& CO., Inc.
Importers and Roaster« of Coffee
Seattle, Wash.
Clip thia Conpon an4 mail ta t h .
OfflM for fall InfonnatlM
•b llr a tio n laen rm A
O n e P o lic y
0M
o i
’ > . ‘ I , . .
M t M p th « a r..„ w w w m
Inaurano. R arrw to C
PLBTB
B IN A T IO N
3-1
2s 8 URAN CE 00.
HOME OFFICE—SEATTLE, U. 8.
Á.
>