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About Heppner gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1925-current | View Entire Issue (June 20, 1929)
HEPPNER GAZETTE TIMES, HEPPNER, OREGON, THURSDAY, JUNE 20, 1929.
T yAf IIXUSTBATEP BV FRANK RPrW, ,
WHAT HAPPENED BO FAS
V'.B Hneriaan Dramatic Club, of
which Tom Bilbeck, the narrator, Mary-
,.., , utuea Ior, ana Jim
Cooper, his rival, are members, start a
periormance ot Pygmalion and Galatea
" ""i Duiaiers Home, but are in
terrupted by a Are. During the re
hearsals Tom Bilbeck is accused by the
husband of one of the actors. Mr. Hem
ingway, of belne in love with hla wife
..,R.''iin Bway (rom 'he scene of the
ill-fated play In their costume. unit
overcoats, the group of players is held
up by two escaped convicts, one of
whom is captured by Bilbeck after a
The captured thief is tied to a chair
at the Old Soldiers' Home. Unable to
leave the home a the car refuses to
budge, the players must stay there, and
Mr. Hemmlngway, hearing this over the
phone, says he is coming right to the
home as he Is suspicious of his wife
and Bilbeck. Meanwhile the Sheriff ar
rives. Hemmlngway arrives Just when Bil
beck Is assisting Mrs. Hemmlngway,
who has fainted, and of course thinks
the worst. Meanwhile a disturbance is
heard in the cellar, and all In the house
rush down to it.
The Sheriff's horse has broken loose.
Meanwhile Hemmlngway suspects Bil
beck more and more, and Jim Cooper
mixes in to tell Bilbeck he has arranged
that the Hemmlngways be divorced and
iimi oiioecK is to marry Mrs. Hem
NOW GO ON WITH THE STORY
Comrade Dreyenfurth saw that he
was not required as a conversation
al aid, and he left us alone.
"I want to beg your pardon for
not speaking to you at breakfast,"
Mrs. Lillielovo went on nervously.
"Of course I couldn't before every
body. You understand, don't you
Mr. Bilbeck, that my social position
as the wife of the most prominent
undertaker and embalmer in town
makes It Impossible for me to do
anything openly that might be talk
I assured her absently that I un
derstood. What was she driving at?
"But beneath my calm, conven
tional exterior," she went on, "I am
terribly romantic! I am very broad,
and although the world may flout
you for loving another man's wife,
I do not censure you. Oh, Mr. Bil
beck, you naughty man!"
She paused to observe the effect
of her reproof.
"But how we girls do admire you
rakes, you men of the world!"
Covered with blushes at her own
temerity, Mrs. LIHIelove left me to
digest her declaration. This two-hundred-pound
Venus had seen in
me a Don Juan and was secretly
envious of Mrs. Hemmingway as the
supposed recipient of my attentions.
The poor nut! What a fool situa
tion It was. Probably no man with
in a radius of a hundred miles was
less capable of being a gay deceiver
than I, and yet entirely without ef
fort on my part I was thrust into a
stellar part in a Decameron ro
mance. How could I clear myself and be
come again what I had been yester
day, a good natured dub, conven
tionally In love with the sweetest
girl in the world?
Skis vs. Snow-shoos.
The morning train left at eleven
o'clock. The colonel had telephoned
the local liveryman to send rigs for
our party. The sheriff determined
to wait and go In after we had bro
ken the trail.
While we were waiting for the
teams to come Comrade Henwether
played the phonograph for us. Ow
ing to his affliction his choice of
records was nothing extra. Most
of the melodies were very ancient
and many were cracked. Evidently
the Home got Its records from the
same source as Its magazines.
Everyone was anxious to get
away. As the time approached for
the rigs to come the women folk
got on their wraps and sat around
expectantly near the door so as not
to keep us waiting.
Maryella had spoken to me when
she came from the room.
"I suppose I ought to congratu
late you," she said. "Although I am
sure I don't know just what one
docs say to a man who wins the
love of a married woman."
"What are you talking about?" I
"Why, Jim has just told me that
he fixed It all up for you." she ex
plained, Innocently enough. "He
says it is all for the best, because
otherwise Mr. Hemmlngway would
probably have shot you."
"Maybe he will anyway," I added
gloomily. What pleasure It would
be to pay a fine for assault and bat
tery committed on the person of one
James Cooper, alias Jim the Fixer!
The telephone rang. Every one
listened with strained attention
while the colonel answered it
"What's that?" he asked after lis
tening a minute. "Can't get thru?
. . . One of the horses has hurt
himself already in a snowdrift? .
That's too bad. When do you think
you can make It? . . . All right."
He hung up.
"I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen,"
he said, turning to our group. "The
liveryman says they can't get thru
from town. The drifts are six and
eight feet deep in places and thev
had to turn back."
What can we do?" walled Mrs,
You 11 have to stay here until
they get the road broken through.
They say that they can make It to
morrow if there is no further fall of
"But there must be some way of
getting through today."
"Not unless you use snowshoes."
We sat in moody silence. As hard
ly any one was speaking to anyone
else, there was not much opportun
ity for discussion of our situation.
Mr. Hemmingway made the first
move. "I'm going to town," he de
clared. "I can't stand it here any
longer. I made it once on snow
shoes, and I guess I can do it
"But the snow is deeper now," ob
jected Mrs. Hemmingway, her ma
tronly concern overcoming her an
ger for the moment
"Thank you just as much for your
suggestion," her husband said cold
ly, "but my going and cming has
ceased to be any affair of yours."
Mrs. Hemmingway flushed as if
she had been struck. I half rose as
if to defend her. This was observed
by others, who glanced at one an
other with significant looks as if to
say, "See! The ownership of the
woman has passed from the hus
band to the acknowledged lover!"
"We can't let you go alone," Col
onel Stewart objected when Hem
mingway began to bundle up pre
paratory to leaving. "There is real
ly considerable danger."
"Then will someone else go with
Mr. Hemmingway surveyed our
group with disdain. His attitude
signified that he did not think there
was a man In the lot of us.
"I'll go," I volunteered suddenly.
After all, why not? There was noth
ing to stay for.
"You go With me?" Hemmingway
questioned derisively. "There is no
object in your trying to get me
alone. You have already robbed
me of the only thing I care for in
life." He cast a tragic glance at the
dissolving Mrs. Hemmingway.
"Don't be unreasonable." Jim
Cooper put in his oar as usual.
"This is all for the best You ought
to be glad to have Tom go with you.
If he's with you It is the only way
you can be certain that he Isn't flirt
ing with your wife."
Jim's argument carried undenia
ble weight with the distracted hus
band. I could see him ponder It.
Although he had cast her off, the
Idea of his wife taking up with
someone else was galling to him.
At last he said, "Come on, then, If
you're the only one who has the
nerve to follow where I lead."
Then came the problem of snow
shoes. Hemmlngway had his that
he had secured in town, but there
wasn't another pair in the Institu
tion. Finally we dug up some skis
which had been sent by some char
itable contributor with a lack of
humor. If you never happened to
have seen any, they are long strips
of springy wood about four inches
wide turned up at one end like a
sled runner. If you can navigate
them the chances are that vou can
New York Life Insurance Co.
NOT A COMMODITY BUT A SERVICE
W. V. Crawford, Agent
John Day Valley Freight Line
Operating between Heppner and Portland and
John Day Highway Points.
Prompt delivery, rates reasonable
plus personal and courteous service.
$10,000 cargo insurance.
CITY GARAGE, Local Agent, Phone 172
spell "fjord"- without breaking the
The colonel bade us godspeed and
directed us on our way.
"You can't get lost," he assured
us. "It may be hard to follow the
road on account of everything be
ing piled deep with snow, but if you
bear due east you'll come out at the
village without fall."
We started, not rapidly, as I have
heard that Indians and Norwegians
travel across snow-fields, but cau
tiously and slowly. My skis had a
tendency to toe out that was very
aggravating. Once or twice I had
to sit down to argue with them
about it. I couldn't follow both of
them, and if I went with one I had
to leave one leg behind.
On the few occasions when I de
flected them from the outward
angle they turned the other way
and l got my runners crossed.
li you're trying to make me
laugh," said Mr. Hemmlngway sar
castically, as I got up and dug the
snow out of my eyes and ears, "you
may as well give up. I'm not In the
humor for It."
I was able to keep still, thank
Heaven, although it wpuld have giv
en me great pleasure to have swat
ted him with the flat side of a ski,
ine country round about was
sloping. This Is Ideal ground, they
tell me, for ski running. It was fair
ly level from the Old Soldiers'
Home, however, for a distance of
several blocks. I was glad of that
because it gave me an opportunity
to sort of find my ski legs. By the
time I could take three steps, with
out tripping or splitting, I consider
ed that I was no longer in the ama
My egotism melted away when we
came to the first rise. It was a gen
tle slope, but I found it very difficult
to climb. I had to tack or else I
found myself slipping backwards.
I tried dismounting from the skis.
but found that the snow was ud
nearly to my waist and well-nigh
impossible to flounder through.
I made it somehow, but Hem
mingway on snowshoes beat me to
the crest by several minutes. He
waited there until I got nearly to
the top and then he started down
the other side.
I gained the summit It was not
very high, but afforded an excellent
view of the country. Under the
snow it was beautiful. A group of
fir trees over at the right with
branches borne down with tremen
dous loads of white was a graceful
"Come on," yelled Hemmlngway,
half way down the hill. "We have
to catch that train!"
I wrenched myself away from my
contemplation of the beauties of na
ture and considered the matter of
progressing further. I started to
walk after him. Soon I was relieved
of the necessity of effort The gen
tle grade was enough to cause me
to slide over the surface of the
It was an exhilerating sensation
and very restful. I was sudednly
glad that I had skis instead of
snowshoes. I had been envying
Hemmingway the superior traveling
qualities of his equipment but now
I could see that the advantage was
going to be all my way. While he
walked down the hills I would be
sliding gracefully and resting my
self for the climb up the next one.
Wrapped in pleasant introspec
tion I had scarcely noticed that my
speed was increasing a little. Now
a slight difficulty In balancing call
ed my attention to it.
I leaned forward a trifle to restore
my equilibrium. As I did so I heard
a sharp swishing sound as the run
ners glided swiftly over the snow.
The speed increased. I looked
about for some way of slowing up.
There seemed to be no brake. It
appeared Inadvisable to turn side
ways as one does when on skates
In order to stop. Even as I thought,
my pace accelerated to such a de
gree that I abandoned all idea of
doing anything but pray.
Directly in my path, proceeding
slowly down the hillside, was John
Hemmlngway. Headed as I was I
could not fail to strike him. I tried
to steer in some other direction. It
was no use. I flew toward him as a
filing to a magnet
He was blithely unconscious that
I was overtaking him. He is a large
man and so am I. The result of an
impact was terrible to contemplate.
I tried to cry out to him, but my
voice left my dry throat as only a
harsh crackle. The only word I
could think of was "Fore!"
Intuition made him turn around.
He must have read in my eyes that
I had lost control because he started
to scramble hastily out of my way.
Horror of horrors, my runners,
which had hitherto glided straight,
as if on rails, now swerved sharply
to one side In the direction he was
He saw it and redoubled his ef
forts to get out of range. With
fiendish perversity the skis turned
also. I was almost upon him! He
made a supreme effort and stum
bled. I shut my eyes.
(Continued Next Week)
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CHAS. BARLOW, Agent
I Sego Brand, tall cans S
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CORN -No. 2 Cans Iowa Corn - 8 Cans $ 1 .00
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OPEN UNTIL 9 EVERY NIGHT
STONE'S DIVISION Hotel Heppner Bldg.