Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About Heppner gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1925-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 14, 1926)
Volume 42, Number 42.
HEPPNER, OREGON, THURSDAY, Jan. 14, 192G.
Subscription $2.00 a Year
LOCAL COURT VISITS
Judge and Commissioners
Confer With Wheeler
Court on Spray Road
CLUB HERE ASSISTS
Meeting at Heppner Tuesday Evening
Appoints Committee to Aid Court
Before Commission Next Week
- In order that there might be a bet
ter understanding between the two
counties of Wheeler and Morrow
touching the completion of the pro
posed Heppner-Spray road, Judge R.
L. Benge and Commissioners David
son and Bleakman visited Spray one
day the past week, and held a con
ference on the matter with the
Wheeler county court,- in session at
the time. From the Fossil Journal
we have the following comment on
"The county court of Morrow coun
ty consisting of R. L,4Benge, judge,
G. A. Bleakman and L. P. Davidson,
commissioners, all of Heppner, called
in a body upon the county court of
Wheeler county at the letter's regular
session here Wednesday.
"The object of the Morrow county
officials in making this visit was to
determine just what the position of
the Wheeler county court is on the
Heppner-Spray road. The business
men of Heppner have been agitating
such a road as a highway or market
road for several years. Heretofore,
about the only Wheeler county man
who was really interested in this end
of the road proposed by the Heppner
interests was Senator R. J. Carsner
who always favored it. At the Janu
ary meeting of the Wheeler county
court, however, the Wheeler county
end of the road was designated as a
market road by our court through the
efforts of Commissioner R. E. Wright
who lives at Spray. The court was
not unanimous in designating thiR
road as a market road, Commissioner
Ben Iremonger opposing it.
The project extends from Spray to
the forest boundary, a distance of a
little over 5 miles. It is understood
that there is no money available in
this county at present for work on
At a meeting of the Heppner Com
mercial club held in the council cham
bers on Tuesday evening, and attend
ed by Commissioner Bleakman and a
representative body of business men,
a committee was appointed to repre
sent that body before the state high
way commission in Portland next
week. The commission meets on
Tuesday and it is expected that fur
ther consideration of the Heppner
Spray road will be had by that body.
Mr. Bleakman and other members of
the county court will attend this
meeting, also, and they desired very
much to have some backing from the
business interests of Heppner. The
committee appointed by the commer
cial club are Chas. Thomson and L.
Van Marter, and they will be at Port
land to assist all they can with the
work our county court desires to do
before the commission,
Mr. Bleakman states that there is
good interest on the part of people in
Wheeler county touching this road,
especially in the Spray district.
Neighbors of Woodcraft
Install Officers for 1926
Maple Circle No. 259, Neighbors of
Woodcraft, held installation of offi
cers at their regular session on Mon
day night at I. 0. 0. F. hall, when
the following were inducted into of
fice: Guardian Neighbor, Clara Sprinkle;
Past Guardian .Neighbor, Lulu Hcr
ren; Advisor, Gerald Booher; Magi
cian, Bernice Baumanj Clerk, Rosa
Richardson; Banker, Cora Crawford;
Inner Sentinel, Virginia Hill; Outer
Sentinel, Lewis Allyn; Flug Bearer,
Lola Bennett; Attendant Alice Ras
mus; Managers, Ethel Booher, Emma
Hiatt and E. J. Starkey; Musician,
Lucile McDuffee, Captnin of Guards,
Ruth Hottman; Correspondent, Elsie
After the closing ceremony an im
promptu program was given, all mem
bers taking part, and this was greatly
enjoyed. Refreshments were served
by the committee, Neighbors Grace
Buschke, Shirley Prophet and Ber
nice Bauman. Correspondent.
NEW HOSPITAL READY.
Dr. A. H. Johnston, physician in
charge, reports that the ne Morro
General hospital, established in the
Woodson residence, is now re-uly tor
the reception of medical and mater
nity patients. Whilo all the equip
ment in the surgery is not yet in
stalled, this will soon arrive, and
when this department in completed,
Dr. Johnston will announce a formal
opening and reception to the general
public. The newly opened hospital is
in charge of Mrs. Zona wostlaii
graduate nurse, as superintendent.
LEGION AUXILIARY MEETING.
Owing to the lyceum number thnt
is being sponsored by the American
Legion Auxiliary coming on Monday
next, the regular meeting of
tho Auxiliary will bo at tho Hotel
Heppner dining room on Wednesday
evening, the 20th. Hostesses lor mo
evening will bo Mrs. D. A. Wilson and
Miss Margaret Crawford.
MRS. A. T. HEREIM, Correspondent.
From a recent issue of the Pendle
ton E. 0.: "Altho O.-W. R. & N.
second division, extending from
Messner to Huntington, is one of the
most hazardous divisions on the U.
P. system, tho division won second
place in 1924 in the safety contest for
the Harriman medals. This fact has
caused much satisfaction to division
officials, including C. F. Roberts, as
sistant superintendent, who was in
Pendleton Monday. The second div
ision won 5th place among all the
railroad divisions in the country."
This is of particular interest to
Boardman people because Messner is
located just above Boardman, and the
three operators, Lee Mead, Carl Dor
ing and R. S. Smith are all well known
and liked in the community.
This community was saddened when
news of the death of Mrs. Clarence
Berger became known ."last Friday.
Mrs. Berger had returned recently
from Portland where she "had been
taking medical treatment and was
apparently getting better, so the news
of her death was a shock to all except
the closest friends of the family. Mrs.
BergcY was Mis3 Bessie Thompson
prior to her marriage about 16, years
ago. Five Forks, Pa., was her birth
place and her home was in that vicin
ity until about four years ago when
the family moved to a ranch on the
West End which they purchased. The
husband, Clarence Berget, and four
children are left to mourn her de
parture, Catherine and Robert, who
are students at Boardman high. Glen
and Richard, who are in grammar
school. Funeral services were held
Monday at 2:00 p. m., in the com
munity church and the large con
course attested to the esteem in
which the deceased was held, as the
church was crowded to the door. Bus
iness houses were all closed during
the service and school children dis
missed. A quartette composed of Mrs.
E. T. Messenger, Mrs. S. H. Board
man, A. P. Ayres and Mr. Barlow,
sang three selections. Messrs. W. 0.
King, Glen Hudley, E. K. Mulkey, Ray
Brown, Chas. Dillon and Chas. Wick
lander were the pallbearers. Funeral
arrangements were in charge of'mor
ticians from The Dalles. Many beau
tiful flowers covered the gray casket.
Interment was in the Boardman ceme
tery. Neighbors and friends did ev
erything possible to assist the family
in their sad hour and on behalf of
Mr. Berger and children, Rev. Swog
ger expressed their appreciation to
those who had been so kind. A short
service was held at the cemetery. The
sympathy of the entire community is
extended to the family over the loss
of wife and mother.
Miss Flossie Officer was entertained
at a delicious dinner on Sunday at
the J. M. lien home. Miss Officer is
Mr. and Mrs. Ira Berger of Port
land were here to attend the funeral
services of Mrs. Clarence Berger.
J. C. Ballenger and family returned
from a business trip to Portland.
Mr. and Mrs. Eck Warren have
gone to Grass Valley for a visit at
the Luttrcll home.
Mrs. Chas. Nizcr has some white
Plymouth Rock hens which lay huge
eggs. Three of these, eggs weighed
15 ounces, one of them weighing 6
Sunday school and church attend
ance is growing splendidly. 08 were
present, at Sunday school last Sun
day. Rev. D. A. Thompson of Port
land spoke at the church service. He
has been ill for some time and this
is his first visit here since his ill
ness. He is much improved but lost
the small sum of 40 pounds while ill.
Mrs. Chas. Attebury returned home
Sunday after a 7-woeks visit with
Portland friends. She feels much
Mrs. Claude Myers and Wilma
came home Sunday from Portland.
Whlie there Mrs. Myers had a slight
operation for the removal of a skin
cancer from her left eye. She has
two more of these growths tAat will
have to be removed later.
Please remember that news for the
Heppner paper must be mailed on
Tuesday, so get your items in early.
Mirror news and E. O. news mailed
Three more carloads of lumber have
arrived at Messner for improvements
on the Blalock Island project. About
25 men eat at the cook house. The
leveling is T)eing done by contract.
The new pipe line has been laid, all
the houses improved and a' number
pf new buildings erected.
The Irrigon melon growers held a
meeting at the school house Tuesday
The Grange is giving another1 of its
social doin's on Friday evening. There
will be a program, a pie sale, and a
general good time for everybody in
Frank Markham and wife were
called to Prescott, Wash., this week
because of the illness of their grand
daughter. Mrs. C: G. Holland of Portland
spent the week here with her parents,
the C, I. Salings.
Hitrve Wolfe has been at Burloy,
Idaho, for several days where ho was
called on account of tho serious ill
ness of his father.
J. M. Imbrey of Ilermistcfn was in
town on business Monday.
Mrs. Lyle Baling has recovered
from her recent illness.
Watch for the window specials at
Ml TO REORGANIZE i ho Famiiy i
Knights of Pythias Join
to Assist Boys.
LEADER IS SECURED
Rev. Bower Accepts Position as Head
of Boy Scout Troops, Inactive
For Several Months.
At their meeting Tuesday night,
Doric Lodge No. 20, Knights of Pyth
ias of this city, joined in the move
toward the active reorganization of
the local Boy Scout troop. In the
resolution printed herewith, the or
der states its belief in the aims and
ideals of the Boy Scout movement and
declares itself ready to stand behind
The Boy Scouts became inactive
shortly after the departure of their
last scoutmaster, Rev. W. 0. Living
stone, because no one capable of
handling the work was available. In
their step to bring the scouts again
into being the Knights have ap
proached Rev. Mliton W. Bower, re
cently appointed pastor of the Christ
ian church, who has agreed to take
charge. Mr. Bower has had exper
ience in scout work before, it is an
nounced, and should prove a worthy
Other organizations, including the
American Legion and other fraternal
orders, have also been working tow
ard the reorganization of the Boy
Scouts, and it is believed the Knights
of Pythias will not be alone in get
ting the troop reestablished. The res
olution adopted by the Knights of
Whereas, the Boy Scouts of Ameri
ca are a most worthy organization,
standing for physical, mental and
moral development of the boy life of
the nation; and
Whereas, there is a sufficient num
ber of boys in this community of
Scout age, to justify the maintenance
of a Scout troop here, and
Whereas, there has never been suf
ficient support given to such a move
ment on the part of the religious, fra
ternal, civic, and other organizations
of the community to make the move
ment a success; and
Whereas, the Rev. Mr. Bower, pas
tor of the Christian Church, has had
some experience in the work of the
Boy Scouts as an assistant Scoutmas
ter, and has expressed a willingness
to assist in the developing of the Boy
Peout organization here;
Therefore, be it resolved, that Doric
Lodge No. 20, Knights of Pythias, by
this resolution offers all the assist
ance possible, to the end that the
Boy Scouts become a strong organi
zation in this community; and that
a committee of three be appointed to
assist the Boy Scouts, and
Be it further resolved, that a copy
Of this resolution be sent to all other
religious, fraternal, civic, and other
organizations in this community, and
to the newspaper; and by this resolu
tion that all other above mentioned
organizations be . petitioned to adopt
a similar resolution and appoint a
like committee to cooperate, with
Doric Lodge No. 20 in an endeavor to
bring about a strong Boy Scout or
ganization in this community.
JOHN W. HIATT, K. R. & S.
W. O. DIX.
CHAS. N. JONES,
C. R. MADDOCK MARRIED.
Word of the marriage of Creston R.
Maddock to Miss Helen Summers at
Kel-so, Washington, was received this
week by his father, E. C. Maddock
of this city. Mrs. Maddock formerly
lived in Condon and Creston is a
graduate of Heppner high school and
is well known in both Gilliam and
They will make their home tempor
arily in Portland where Mr. Maddock
is located as a special agent for the
states of Oregon and Washington, for
a large firm of fire insurance general
agents. He expects to be transferred
in the near future to the Los Angeles
district. Arlington Bulletin.
CARD OF 'THANKS.
Our heartfelt thanks are extended
to all the friends and neighbors who
so willingly tendered every assistance
in our hour of grief and affliction;
no words can expross to you our ap
preciation of the sincere sympathy
shown us at this time; we are also
(rrnteful for the many beautiful floral
MR. and MRS. CHAS. VAUGHN.
MRS. F. P. VAUGHN.
THE GILLIAM FAMILY.
RHEA CREEK GRANGE.
Rhea Creek Grange meets the first
Sunday of each month at 10 a. m
and the third Friday night of each
month at 8 p. m. Visiting members
Get your favorite magazine at Gor
don's. Some enses of measles are reported
by local physicians, and along with
the epidemic of whooping cough, the
youngsters of the city are getting
their share of troubles incident to
Thos. J. O'Brien of lower Butter
cveek was n business visiior in Hepp
ner on Monday.
Homo-made candies at Gordon's.
5Hf -?,rrS "4 fit a
, 'J a 4 " i ' 4 fa h ' s v - 4 4
' The latest and most intimate
taken New Year's Day when son
Roy and Miss Prim, white collies,
MAKING A BUSINESS
(From State Board of Health.)
You spare no effort to assure your
self that your business is being con
ducted on principles of efficiency and
good judgment. You are convinced
that in order to show a profit you
must follow the principles of good
business. But do you give the same
attention to your bo.Aiy health? You
cannot expect to enjoy continued
happiness and good health unless you
give your health as much attention
as you give your business. To enjoy
health to its fullest extent it is nec
essary for you to treat your health
as a business concern and to study
it as such.
So far as the actual work done in
your office is concerned, either phy
sical or mental, it should not make
you a tired business man. But even
if you do really expend great mental
energy in solving of business prob
lems, you should not find yourself all
in when the day's work is done. This
may be due to some physical defect
that effects the mental stamina.
Your daily activities can become so
narrow that you nervously propel
your energies along one mental chan
nel and eventually develop functional
physical trouble. You are driven in
a sort of vicious circle.
It is not possible to lay down spe
cific rules for healthy living. Indiv
iduals differ and require different
regulations. All must, however, main
tain better behavior in their methods
A better philosophy of living is
needed. Y'ou should be glad you are
alive. You should be much interested
in what goes on about you. ,You
will find beneficial relaxation as well
as stimulation if you will take time
to mix with your fellowmen. Take
the ordinary drift of life more calm
ly, more philosophically. Business
problems are over-emphasized and
cause unnecessary worries.
In order to keep physically fit mod
erate exercise is essential. Put i.i
some time enjoying sport in the
ppen. Exercise night and morning
helps in keeping fit. Whether it is a
matter of recreation, exercise, or diet,
you should consider your body as
your most important business. Just
as different lines of business require
different methods of management, so
you will have to find out what exer
cise you can safely take up and what
particular diet will be of benefit to
your particular body. The business
of health requires a periodic inven
tory of the physical assets and liabil
ities, covering all the important func
tions of the body a thorough physi
cal and mental examination by a com
METHODIST COMMUNITY CHURCH
The Methodist Community church
will hold their monthly "Chureh
Night" for January, on Thursday
night, January 21. Several numbers
of the program will be provided by
the Epworth League. "The Family
Fireside" will be the theme of the
program. Rev. Oscar Paine, pastor
of the Methodist church of Fossil,
will be guest and speaker at the re
freshment gathering. The Ladies Aid
of the church will serve refreshments.
Tho friends of the church are invited.
E. C. ALFORD, .Pastor.
SPECIAL MEETING OF ELKS.
There will be a special meeting
of Heppner Lodge No. 358, B. P. O. E.,
on the night of Friday, January 22nd.
The occasion of the meeting is the
official visit to the lodge of Deputy
Gand Exalted Ruler J. Gordon Bnker
picture of our White House family
John was home from school Rob
are now very much a part of the
Former Lexington Folks
Hold Reunion at Salem
A reunion of former Lexington.
Oregon friends and neighbors, but
now residents of Salem and vicinity,
was had at the residence of Mrs.
Maude Pointer at 1300 North 18th
street, Salem, the first of last week.
To say that the reunion was a
grand success, would be putting it
mildly, indeed. The glad handshake,
the smiling faces and the witty say
ings, all. told of happy days of yore
and present days of appreciation.
There were no dull moments; all were
in for a good time, even playing the
old games that were almost forgot
ten. We were real friends again,
each enjoying the spirit of youth.
Dad Eskelson, one of Lexington's
oldest inhabitants told us something
of. the pioneer joys and hardships
through which he and Mrs. Eskelson
passed together. They both have
the smile that will not wear off. Mrs.
P.eaney also gave a hint of those
hard but happy days of her young
life. The Milller family and Mr.
Green sang for the company some of
the old songs and the new. Refresh
ments were furnished by each fam
ily doing its share and served in
cafeteria style. All who appreciated
good eats were fully satisfied.
In closing the evening's program,
Rev. J. D. Gillandcrs, parlor at
Lexington for two years, gave a
heart searching address, calling at
tention to the blessings of the past
and the necessity of our best efforts
in making life worth while, for the
A hearty vote of thanks was tend
ered Mrs. Pointer for her kindness
in placing her home at our pleasure.
Mrs. Pointer certainly made an ideal
hostess. We all reluctantly bade
each other adieu, having decided to
make our gathering a yearly affair.
Those present were Mrs. Margaret
Reaney and Mr. and Mrs. Carl Miller
of Lexington; Mr. and Mrs. Lee Rea
ney, Averill and Grace of Salem; El
mer Baldwin, Salem; Mr. and Mrs.
Joseph Eskelson and daughter Rose
and grandson Harold of Salem; Mr.
and Mrs. Ernest Frederickson and
three daughters, Salem; Mr. and Mrs.
C. T. Davis and three children, Sa
lem; Mrs. Melva Van Horn and daugh
ter, Colorado; Ben Green, Salem;
Mr. and Mrs. Ed Miller and daughters
Clara, Bertha and Marlow, and son
Merle of Salem; Mr. and Mrs. W. P.
McMillan and son John Robert of
Corvallis; Mr. and Mrs. C. T. Ritchie
Salem; Rev. J. D. Gillandors and
children Donald, Dorothy, Bruce and
Kenneth of Monitor, Oregon, and Mrs.
Maude II. Pointer r.nd family.
Salem you are all right, but we
still love Lexington with her aimos
limitless wheattields and splendid
type of young Americans. Communi-
CHURCH OF CHRIST.
All regular Sunday services, with a
full attendance expected and hoped
for. The morning sermon is entitled
"Me and Mine," but is intended for
you and yours. At the evening ser
vice the first of a series of sermons
will be given. The aim of this series
is to give a clear conception of the
position occupied by the Church of
Christ, It is the aim also to be ed
ucational rather than controversial.
The first of the series then to be giv
en Sunday night is "Why I am Not a
MILTON W. BOWER, Minister.
Hot tomato flip at Gordon's.
You will liko tho milkshakes at
The Watch Party held at the home
of Mr. and Ms. R. B. Wilcox was also
the occasion for the remembrance of
the fifteenth birthday of their daugh
ter. Miss Doris. Doris received the
hearty congratulations of her many
friends who claim that of all their
birthdays, hers among them is the
most widely celebrated.
Lexington won a double-header bas
ketball game from lone on Friday eve
ning, when both boys' and girls' teams
played fast games against our sister
Harold Beach, who spent the New
Year season in Lexington with his
father, returned last week to Walla
Walla where he will resume his high
The ladies of the Congregational
church are planning to celebrate the
birthdays of several of their mem
bers at the regular Wednesday after
noon meeting of this week.
The members of Lexington Rebecca
lodge conducted a pleasant dance in
the school gymnasium on last Friday
evening. A number of invited guests
were present to enjoy with the lodge
members good music, up-to-date danc
ing and dainty refreshments.
Miss Donna Barnett and Mrs. Hank
Parker are spending some days in
Mrs. Ola Ward and daughter, Miss
Velle, left Sunday for Portland where
they expect to make their home for
an indefinite season.
Earnest Frederickson came in on
Sunday evening from Salem. He is
looking to his business interests and
considers making his home in Lex
Oral Henriksen of La Grande was
paying New Year calls among Lex
ington business men last week. He
drove a shining new Dodge sedan, the
Christmas gift of his father, and was
accompanied by his one-time neigh
bor, Clarence Bauman.
Rev. Wallace Jones and family with
their guest, Evangelist Ware, enjoyed
dinner with lone friends Saturday.
Members of the junior English class
dramatized act V of "Mid-summer
Night's Dream" Monday in the as
sembly hall. The CB3t was as fol
lows: Theseus, Merle Becket; Hip
polyta, Grace Buschke; Lysander, Ha
zel McDaid; Demetrius, Ornn Bis
bee; Hermia, Audrey Beymer; Hele
na, Ruth Furlong; Philostrate, Mar-
jorie Clark; Prologue, Louise Thom
son; Pyramus, Earl Ayers; Thisbe,
Mary Ritchie; Wall, Ethel Moore;
Moonshine, Joy Erwin; Lion, Tom
Wells; Bottom, Tom Wells.
Under the direction of Miss Miller,
domestic science teacher, hot lunches
will be served at the high school, be
ginning Monday, January 18. This
will be a service for grade students
who are unable to go to their own
homes for lunch. A small charge,
three or four cents a day, will be
Heppner high school was congratu
lated by the Red Cross State Seal
Director on its splendid work, this
being considered the best in the state.
The seal sale of 1925 was the biggest
ever put over in Heppner. The amount
of stamps sold was $65, making a gain
of $20 more than last year's sale.
Superintendent Burgess of Hepp
ner, Principal Goodwin of Milton
Freewater and Superintendent Inlow
of Pendleton have been appointed by
Superintendent J. O. McLoughlin of
Corvallis, president of the Oregon
Athletic association, to select an all
star basketball team for northeastern
Oregon. This team will play in the
games to be held later in Salem to
decide the state championship.
Heppner is a member of the Uma
tilla Debating league, which is in
turn a division of the State Debating
league. The six high schools in this
league are Hermiston, Boardman, Mc
Loughlin, Pendleton, Umatilla and
Heppner. The chairman of the league
committee of which Mr. Burgess is
a member, is Austin Landerth, prin
cipal of Pendleton high.
Heppner will probabiy meet Her
miston and Boardman. The winner
of this district, determined by per
centages of number of debates won,
will go to Eugene, where the winner
of the state will be decided. The
rules of the debating league will be
used in all debates.
Tlie town team won a victory of
12-26 from the high school team last
Friday. The high school girls played
a short practice game before the
boys' game. There will be a double
header played on the home floor with
Lexington, Friday, Jar.uary 15.
Those playing on tho high school
team are: Eugene Doherty, Wm. Buck
num, Harold Erwin, Paul Hisler and
The schedule for the first semester
examinations is as follows:
Thursday. January 14:
All I period class exams, 9-10:!?0.
Ail 11 period class xoams 10:30-12.
All 111 period class exams, 1-2:30.
All IV period class exams 2:30-4.
Friday, January 16:
All V period class exams, 9-10:30.
All VI period class exams, 10:30-12.
All VII period class exams 1-2:30.
All VII period typing exams 2:30-4.
All VII period geography exams,
Several exemptions have been given
FIVE ACHE TRACT
FOR SALE -At Hermiston: house,
chicken house, fruit and berries; lots
of shade, plenty of water for irriga
tion; 1-2 mile from depot on highway.
$500 down, balance on terms. Write
Wm. DeVoro, Box 674, Pendleton, Ore.
in sen IEMS
By Arthur Brisbane
The Devil a Builder.
We Fear to Jump.
A $10,000,000 Train. '
The J. G. White Engineering Cor
poration undertakes a $30,000,000 ir
rigation scheme for Mexico. Any
thing that helps Mexico pleases as,
BUT what about the waters of the
Colorado River that wander, wasted,
through the United States and then
down into Mexico? 1
As fast as she uses water for irri
gation, Mexico establishes an inter
national right with which this coun
try must not interfere.
While Western States are fighting
as to which shall have the water
that goes to waste through the deep
canyon, while private power com
panies block any use of that water,
fearful1 that the people may get the
benefit, Mexico will establish a claim,
and our States through which the
great river passes will be informed
that they must not draw off enough
water to interfere with Mexico's es
tablished irrigation rights.
President Coolidge might interest
himself in that. It may become a
serious problem for himslef or his
Three of the largest, richest Lu
theran churches in New York are con
sidering a merger, the combination
to build a skyscraper with a church
tucked away in it, according to mod
How would that impress Martin
Luther, who says jn his Table Talks:
"For where God built a Church, there
the devil would also build a chapel."
If the Lutherans build a skyscrap
er church, would the devil find it
necessary also to build a skyscraper
Reverend James S. Montgomery,
chaplain of the House of Represen
tatives, puts the modernist and fun
damentalist problem in few words:
"Modernists say, 'There ain't no
hell.' Fundamentalists say, 'The hell
there ain't.' "
The average man says, "There may,
or there may not be, such a super
heated resort. But to avoid running
risks I shall behave decently."
Y'ou may add that he doesn't amount
to much who refrains from sin only
because he fears that he may go to
Great Britain with her rubber mon
opoly takes from this country about
$700,000,000 a year, more than enough
to pay her debt to us.
By way of reprisal the Massachu
setts legislature is asked to drive out
British insurance companies. Such
talk is foolish. Uncle Sam, his pock
ets bulging with gold, and playing the
part of a "cry baby," makes himself
Besides, in the California fire Eng
lish insurance companies paid what
they owed in full, which is more than
can be said for some American com
panies. Good-bye to the horse. Los Angeles
is the first city to have "no-horse"
streets. Washington forbids horse
drawn vehicles on four important
thoroughfares. That will spread.
The horse is happier in the coun
try, away from hard streets. He is
no longer necessary in the city, no
excuse for him. Even if he were a
little cheaper for some work, which
is doubtful, he should vanish. Get a
Eight men and nine women tried
to kill themselves in Venice on one
day last week. "General misery" is
the explanation. Gas was the favor
ite exit, revolvers are so expensive.
Jumping from a height is even cheap
er and surer than gas. There is no
turning back once you start down.
But those tired of life are usually
weak in will, and it takes will to
jump into space, men since their al
leged early free days having had bred
in them an intense aversion to falling
off the limb.
That, evolutionists say, is why we
dream so often of falling. And it
explains women's horror of snakes.
The snakes could crawl out along the
limb and steal the sleeping baby from
its mother. Any good anti-evolutionist,
of course, could prove to you that
Make a good mousetrap and, as you
know, the world will wear out a path
to your door. Run a railroad well
and your path across the continent
will also be well used. The Twentieth
Century, New York Central train be
tween New York and Chicago, ran in
seven sections one way and six tho
other recently. Its managers proud
ly announce that they took In on that
one train $10,000,000 last year.
It costs more to go from New York
to Chicago now comfortably, than it
did to go from New York to Liverpool
on the fine old steamship Spain, first
class, years ago. Tho flying much inn
will correct that. Men now of middle
age will live to read this: "Chicago to
Now York in th'ree hours, round trip