Heppner times. (Heppner, Or.) 1???-1912, August 25, 1904, Image 3

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    No Appetite
Means loss of vitality, vigor
or tone, and is often a pre
cursor of prostrating sick
ness. This b why it is
serious. The best thing
you can do is to take the
great alterative and tonic
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Which has cured thousands.
fommnllni Hentciira,
Judge tlary, at a recent meeting of
fkt'i'I Trust stockholders in llolsiken,
aid In the course of an argument:
"Your objection remind tue of the
objection a lawyer oneo made to a
judKo'a ai'iiti e, Tlil Judge had giv
en a prisoner, convicted of second de
gree murder, tlilrly years' solitary con
finement, whereupon tho lawyer cried
out:
" 'Hut, your honor, my client In old.
Ilo won't II vp thirty year.'
"Well, th ' Ha Id thft Judge. 'I'll
shorten hi sentence to life. Imprison
ment, If you 11 re for It.' " New Vork
Tribune,
Another t rank.
Wlint did that new arrival want?"
asked the Uncording Alice).
"lit) ii hU ma If 1 knew where ha
roil hi net bold of four old lialoa," mi id
HI. 1'eier. "lie siiys he wauls to try
to build an automobile," riilludolphla
i'remi. .
The total trndo of Abyssinia Is shout
f:i,OUO,H per annum.
Why Nel I Use and the JUtj.
"That wee a brave actl" ejaculated
a Hoston man, a a lie stood on the
wharf In a little aoulheru town and
an w an old negro plunge urihcsltatlng
ly Into tha deepest water to aava a
very ainall boy who bad stumbled and
fallen from aoma piling. "A brave
act and b la a hero, no matter how
black tha akin bo wears!"
Tha ItONtonlnn win foremost In the
(roup that leathered about Unci Ned
when be climbed back on tba deck with
tba rciiciied bid.
"Your aou la It, old man?" ba quer
ied. "Or perhaps only your grand
aonr Tbera waa very fervent admiration
in the down router's tonea aa be put
the question. '
"No, auh; no, auh," gurgled Uncle
Ned. "Kat 11 1 raacul ain't no kluuery
er mine."
"Then it waa all the braver," ex
claimed the InterroKntor, positively
baring bin bend out of reaped for the
old man's high-born courage
"Huh," sputtered the hero, "you alio'
don't think l'no durn fool 'nough to let
dnt boy drown when he's got every
l k er my HhIi bull in bla pocket'"
Washington l'oat.
How's 1 bis T
Wo nir,.r One Hundred Dollar Reward ft
any )( atarrh thai cauliul bo cured dj
u-ii'm I'oiMrrh Curt,.
jr. J, Uil.MCV 4 CO., Prop, Toledo, 0.
We. the uiiiiBrlKiii"i, nave kdowii r. j,
3SS-'
tor to
UFt UNOER WATER.
rt.Hiia tr ilia 1.l Iff, vran. ami believe h in
perfectly honorable III all business IraiisaO
(in u mid fliiauclally able lo crry out auy ol-
llgalluiia mads by uwir arm. .
Wear ib Tkua. Wholesale lirunlsts, Toledo, O.
WaUiiNM, Kiknam 4 Masvih, W boUssaie Urug-
Hall's Cuarrb Cure Is taken Internally,
lrnr directly uwin iho blood and in ti no us sur-
Ititi o( th system. I'rlce Ion. ier butU.
Bold tiy all liruKglsis. testimonial Ires,
iiall't ITaially Tills ars Uie best.
Mrs. Haskell, Worthy Vice-
Templar, Independent Order
Good Templars, of Silver Lake,
Mass., tells of her cure by the
use of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege
table Compound.
" DkabMiw. Pihma: Four year
ffo 1 waa nearly dead with inflamma
tion and ulceration. I endured dally I
untold agony, and life waa a burden ;
to me, I hod used medicines and
walies internally and externally until ;
I made up my mind that there waa no ;
relief for me. Culling1 at the home of
a friend, I noticed a bottle of I,ydl
U. l'l itk hum's Vrirrtnble Com
Otilul. My friend endorsed it highly,
and I decided to give it a trial to see if
It would help me. It took patience
and peraeverence for I waa In lad con
dition, and I uhciI Iydla H. lMnk
bam'H VeBtublo Compound for
nearly five months before I waa cured,
but what a change, from despair to
happlnnaa, from misery to the delight
ful exhilarating feeling health alwaya
brlnga. I would not change Lack for
a thousand dollars, and your Vegetable
Compound ia a grand medicine.
"I wish every atck woman would
try it and be convinced." Mrs. Ida.
IIarkki.i,, Silver Lake, Mass. Worthy
Vice Templar, Independent Order of
Oood Templars. $K000 forfait If original
of about lotttr omil'l wwImimm tuitut oo jk
eWae,
Prepared for I'.inrrgenclcs.
The proprietor of a largo office
building, who bad a room for bla own
uhh in otio of the upper Atorlca, waa
eurprtNcd one morning by the entrance
of a ban with a valise. "Don't you
want something, air," began the caller.
"In the vay of a new and Improved
outfit for marking handkerchiefs, un
dergarments and "
"No, I dont.," interrupted the pro-
prlctor. "How did yon got up here?
We don't allow peddler or canvassers
in thla building."
"You don't 1"
"That's what I anld."
"I saw no sign to that ffect."
"Well, you'll ace one the next time
you come. I shall have one put up."
"In that case," rejolnod tae man,
opening bla valise with alacrity, "you
will need one of these."
Here be displayed a neatly pa'.nted
card over a foot long and nearly aa
wide, with tbla Inscription, in large
letters:
"No reddlers or Canvassers Allowed
In Tbla Hulldlng on Any Pretext What
ever."
In recognition of bla caller'a clever
I ncKS, genial humor and business like
: forethought, the owner of the building
! not only itought the curd, but invested
In one of the marklug out tits.
There Was Una Who Did Not Laugh.
"Mark Twulu" once expressed the
following sentiments to a young wom
an who had not smiled at a thing that
be had aald during an impromptu re
ception In bla honor at Hrya Mawr
College, to which his daughter hud In
vited him. All the young ladles but
one were in a atnte of greut glee dur
ing the humorist's address nil but one
hud laughed heartily at every witty re
mark. Just as "Twain" flulhlied, be
turned to the young woman who had
not laughed, and said, in an under
' tone: "You nre the only aensible one
here. I have not said a single nnnis
. ing thing. If It were not for the con-
aplcunusness of it I would like to press
i your hand." Success.
AN INVISIBLE EHEMY
TO HEALTH
Malaria is a slow poison, but the most stubborn and
deeply rooted w'.icn it tukes possession of the sys
tem. We brcutlie into the luns the polluted, gcrm
tuintcd air; the little microbes then enter into the sys
tem, and feeding upon tlio red corpuscles of tho blood,
soon reduce this vital, life-sustaining fluid to such a
wcuk, watery state that tlio putient becomes listless,
pale and anaemic, and men
tally and physically de- ... . Amory, Miss., Jan. 88, 1003.
J , ,, , Abont fifteen years atro I auffered with bolls,
pressed. Malaria nitty be- ,nd took a oourse of 8. 8. S., which built me np
trin with slii;ht riLTors or ""d entirely cured me of the bolls. Three yeara
, ... , . r ,, , aao I suffered with Malaria, and remembering;
Chilly sensations, followed how muoh food B. S.B. had done me, I deter
by fever and thirst; but mined to try ltecaln. I am rlad to say that the
.iu. .11 r ,u results were all I oould have daalred. Blnoe than
gradually all parti Of the I take B.B.S. every spring, and have no attack ol
System are afTectcdt the Malaria. Last summer 1 spent moat of the time
' . . , , . j on Tomblgbes bottom having; timber out.
liver becomes torpid and a. E. DALKTMPLS.
dark or yellow splotches
appear upon the skin; the stomach fails to properly digest the food,
and there are frequent headaches, dizziness, bad taste in the mouth,
constipation and a general worn-out, tired feeling that only a sufferer
from Malaria can describe. Other and more dangerous symptoms
are apt to follow where this disease is neglected, such as nervous pros
tration, palpitation, sleeplessness, enlarged liver, weak kidneys, boils
and risings and dangerous-looking sores and abscesses. Malaria is all
the more dangerous because of its insidious and stealthy nature. It ia
an invisible atmospheric poison, and the germs and microbes that are
lodged in the blood are propagating and increasing in number all tho
while, clogging the circulation and gradually wrecking the health.
What is needed in Malurial troubles is
a blood purifier and tonic. S. S. S. purifies
the germ-inlected blood, tones up the stom
i i. i i . .
acn, improves mo appeiue ana invigorates
the entire system. It stimulates the tornid.
sluggish organs of the body, enabling them
to Dronerlv tierform their functions and
carry off tho poisonous secretions and health-destroying matter that have
been polluting tho blood and clogging the circulation. S. S. S. con
tains no strong minerals, but is strictly a vegetable remedy, a blood
purifier without an equal, and tho greatest of all tonics. If you have
any symptoms oi juaiana, wruc us, ana meuicai uuvico win do lur
Dished without cost, VIZ SWIFT tPCCIHO CO.. ATLANTA, Ok
Eat, drink and be merry,
morrow we diet Smart Set.
Judge I flue you $10. rrlaoner
Iion't you give any discount to regular
customers? Town Topics,
"Anything new about the warf "An
unofficial dispatch baa Just been con
Armed." Chicago Hecord-Herald.
First Moth Have you anything on
band to-night? Second Motb Yes, I'm
Invited to a camphor ball. I'blladel
plila Record.
She My face la my fortune. He (Vt,
yet ardent) And ict me assure you
my dear, you have siicnt none of it-
New Yorker.
Mother Have you tnken your cold
bath yet, Willie? Willie There wasn't
any cold water warm enough. Chlcu
go Imlly News.
"Are you still making visits to your
dentist?" "No." "Uow'a thut?" "Oh,
nothing; only I ran out of teeth." De
troit Free Tress.
IlJInks Time runs on, eb? Now
what makes Time run on? ItJInks
'lie spur of tho moineut, I a'posc
Houston Chronicle.
Ilenaon Iiought a sawmill, eb?
What are you going to do with It?
Jenson Bring out a new breakfast
food. Town Toplee.
lie's what I call a 'budding gen
lua.'" "Who? Iiraggr "Yea, like all
budding things, he's Inclined to blow."
Philadelphia Press.
Johnny Pa, what la a diplomat? Pa
Well, aon, it's a man who can atretch
handa across the sea without putting
bla foot In It, too. Exchange.
"What's be going to call It?" "Por
trait of a lady." "But It doesn't look
like her at all!" "Then be might call
It 'portrait of another lady.' "Life.
"They have called two doctors in for
consultation." "And do the doctors
agree?" "I believe tbey have agreed
upon the price." Philadelphia Ledger.
"Did you ever take a chance In Wall
street?" "No," anawered Mr. Ardluc
"I put up my money several times. But
never got a chance." Washington
Star.
Young Author Wben I write fa
Into the night I find great difficulty In
getting to aleep. Friend Why don
you read over what you have written?
Princeton Tiger.
"Mamma," said little Elsie, "we have
to be very saving, don't we?" "Yes,
dear." "But I waa Just thinking, sup
pose we 'conomlxe on cod-liver oil'."
Philadelphia Presa.
Friend What are you .going to do
with all those presents? You have no
family. Smart Going to send 'em to
my friends In St. Ixuils. I'm going to
the exposition. Exchange.
"And do you think," be asked, "that
men progress after death?" "Well."
she replied, "if they don't it would al
most seem useless for some of them to
die." Chicago Uecord-IIerold.
Brown Don't get gay, or I'll bo
forced to pound a little sense Into your
head. Green Huh! It would tuke a
dozen men like you to pound any souse
Into my bead. Chicago News.
"What's wit, anyway?" "Well, a
good many people aeem to have the
Idea that wit la the knack of making
one person uncomfortable in the pres
ence of others." Chicago I'dst.
Teacher So I've caught you chew
ing gum, have I? Sammy No, mum;
I wasn't chewln'. I waa Jest keeplu'
It there instead of In my pocket. It's
io sticky. Chicago Daily News.
"What can I do for my little boy?"
asked mamma, "so that he won't havo
to eat between menlsV" "Have tho
nunla ficker together," replied the
greedy young limn. Glasgow Evening
Times.
MJor (Indignantly) What do you
menu sentinel, by sleeping at your
post? If the enemy should appear you
would be lost. Sentinel Don't worry,
major. I haven't an enemy In tho
whole city. Fllegendu Blatter.
"Are there clubs for women In this
town?" aked the sufTruglst from the
East. "Certainly not," replied the gal
lant Westerner, "we can bam. e wom
en without cluDs. . uieago evening
Post.
She (bored) No, Mr. I.ytely, I can
never love you. I honor and respect
you. I am sure you won hi miiKe some
other woman a good husband. I
He Well er give me n letter of rec-
Nlght in a anlt-iarlne-Iilatluc-tneaa of
Maperanrface Found,
Jules Verne has been vindicated. Ills
dream ship, which for genera tlona has
been voyaging under 20,UJU leagues of
Imaginary water, baa at last become
reality a aubmarlne fact. It bas
been demonstrated to the satisfaction
of the United States navy that Captain
Nemo and bis fabled Nautilus bave
been ecUpsed, or, in nautical phrase,
submerged by a modern submarine tor
pedo devil, tbe Fulton, which recently
spent a comfortable night on the bot
tom of Narragansett Bay.
On the night following the speed and
firing teats, It was decided that the
babitablllty test should be made by
submerging the Fulton at tbe bottom
of the bay. Tbla was the first test
ever made under naval supervision to
determine whether men can live aboard
a submarine boat under water as safe
ly as they could In a Newport villa.
Cooking utensils as well as reading
matter and other articles of comfort
and necessity were installird on the
Fulton during the afternoon, and at
10:13 that evening tbe boat was sunk,
with nine men aboard. One of the first
mpresslve features of the experience
was the distinctness with which sound
waa conveyed to the party under wa
ter. In the small hours of the morn-
rig the crew were awakened by near-
ng what waa afterward explained to
have been the Fall Uiver liner Plym
outh touching at Newport en route
from Fall Illver to New York.
Although the Plymouth did not pass
within a mile of the submerged Fulton,
several of the submerged party were
awakened by bearing ber ploughing
through tbe water. Prior to retiring
for the night the water-imprisoned
company bad an excellent meal, which
was prepared on board, and arter the
boat was submerged. All the cooking
as well as lighting was by electricity,
and bad It been necessary the boat
could bave been heated by the same
means.
The air reservoirs were filled to their
full capacity of forty cubic feet; and
when the Fulton rose to tbe surface at
11 KW a. m., after being under water
for twelve hours and twenty-hree min
utes, there was hardly a perceptible
difference between the air of the sub
merged boat and that of the surface
world.
Aa a result of these teats the naval
board of inspection and survey will
recommend the exoendlture of the
1830,000 recently appropriated by Con
gresa for submarine destroyers of the
Fulton type. This means that the
United Statea soon will have a flotilla
of a dor.en aubmarlne devils for aeren-
ilve and offensive purposes during war.
New York Times.
-What "he Bald.
"George, dear," shs ssid, with a blash,
"do you know tbst Mr. Simpson asked
me last tiittlit to be his wife?"
"Well, 1 like his Impudence. The Idea
ef proponing to ao engaged young lady!
What did yoa ssy to hi in?"
"I told him that I was very sorry In
deed, but he was too late." Tidbits.
IgT-orsnre is tiis night ef the mind,
bat a night without moon or star. ta-fuciua.
riTA rmiMMirum woauoruanuuaiw
f llO aftOTflr-ldr'aiwfIr.KllnfaOiMNr-a
IiaMen t. r4 for rrat trial bottle and tnatlMk
ilt. Jk U. Kilo. IM- HI AKt) Kt.. 1-aUMKIpbla. Km.
The Chiefs Mistake.
Big Injun (sdniiringly) Ms like ple-
tur
College Msn (proudly) I thought yon
would.
Big Injun Heap pretty sqnsw!
College Man (wrsthfully You old
heathen! that's a portrait of me when I
belonged to the football team.
For coos-hs and eolils there Is ao better
medicine than Piso's Care for Consump
tion, rrice 25 cents.
W here Women Are Ruled.
"Are there clubs for women io this
town?" asked the suffragist from the
East.
"Certainly not," replied the gallant
Westerner. "We can handle women
without clubs." Chicago Post.
POSITIONS GUARANTEED.
.000 forfeit placed with a National Bank to
maka good any fallurs on oar part. Catalog am
Ire. Writ today.
Doutol Buslnoam College
Taauum, Was.
Columbia
Collegiate, Prepara
tory, Commercial and
University S." Gf,d
Boarding school lor young men ana Doys.
Box 322 Inrvtnity Park Station, forfait Ore.
Apply for Catalogue.
PftlCES THAT TALK.
Iteat galvantud itanriard wronibt Iron pipe.
; men, -i.w per n wet.
this oil run pipv.
Beat calvanliad
atanrlard wrnnxht Iron pipe, 1 Inch, S7.fe per
lift feet. All lze In black and gtlvantieit
pltia at loweMt market prices. Wood
I
capacity one barrel per ml note, Kubber,
pump
LtCUCK-MORPHIKE-TOBACCC
T.-- HH!T. PFRMANFNTLY C1IRFC
-fOrt FULL PARTICULARS
ntm'.fimnmir ponnNO,or,
Why la Tbla Tbns?
We see the player on the plot catch
every whizzing ball; high tall, low ball,
grounder hot, he catches one and all.
But it is strange, w do declare, this
self-same catching star, will chase him
self for half a square, yet fail to catch
his car.
Mothers will Bad Mrs. WIc1ows's Soothing
Byrop the beit remedy to ua lor their children
during the teething penoo-
leather and canvaa belting, hoee and packing
at wnoienaie price, wriieoaior your want
In the machinerr line. Irrigation plants a
peclalty. kclaraon Machinery Co., Port
land, Oregon.
WANTED
200 MEN.
r day. Board 4.W) per
per day. Exten-
Avoided the Subject.
Winks Did McKick bave much to
say on riie subject of railroad monopoly
while you were there?
Minks Well, no. Yon see. Just after
I called, a carttnan drove op with a box
for him. The railroad freight on it for a
hundred miles waa a quarter; the cart
man's charge for hauling it aiz blocks
was fifty cents.
Wares 12.25 per daj
week. 60 teamfl I2.UJ
Its irrigation cori'tructlon. Perma
nent employment for good men and
teams.
Deschutes Irrigation and Power
Company
BEND, ORIOOK
N
BUY
For Your Perfect Comfort.
At the Bt. Louli KitK-itlon. which la Terr aevere
upon the teet, reinettiber to take along a box or two
oi Alien rum r.aM a powocr ror not, urea, arn-
Ing, swoll-n. iweatlna f-vt. gc!4 by all Ilrugglau,
There are few paupers in Japan. Ev
ery Doay wonts, ana it is considered a
disgrace to be supported by your rela
tives while you have the ability to earn
yonr own living.
ON THE FIELD OF WATERLOO.
Monument Erected by France to Her
Soldiers Who Fell There.
Tbe field of Waterloo, where the
star of Napoleon I. forever set in a
night of gloom, bas been variously
marked with monuments by the na
tlona whose soldiers took part in that
titantlc atruggle. No more attractive
memorial has been erected, however,
i Vy b
FROM
YOUR DEALER
P. N. U
Na. JS-104.
BEN writing to advertlsm plm
mention mia paper.
mmm
1 V!?,
Vegetable Preparationfor As
similating tlieFoodandBegula
ting the Stomachs and Bowels of
TIIE WATEIILO0 MONfMKNT.
than tho new one Just dedicated by
France to her soldiers who fell In that
conflict. The French lost about IIO.OOO
men, while tho nllles lOnplish, liutch
and Germans lost 23,000. These
frightful casualties throw into luslg
nltlcunce the combats thus far waged
in tho F.imt and which Japanese tulmlr
ers would buve tbe world believe as
trnnseeuding anything preceding them,
Tho monument Is crowned by s
wounded eagle, typical of the defeat
France sustained in the downfall of
Napoleon.
omiiicudutlon to my next place. Tit-lilts.
Kddlo Aren't you sorry thnt you are
an only child? Freddie Oh, no; I don't
mind it, but It's tough on pa. Eddie
How so? Freddie Well, you see, I'm
getting too big for .him to have to
take mo to the circus, and there nren't
any younger kids In the family for him
to fall back on. ltrooklyn Life.
"You have been fighting again, Tom.
my!" "I couldn't help It, nintnnm.
riint Stapleford boy sunned me." "That
was uo reiiHon for fighting. You should
have remembered that 'a soft answer
turnetb away wrath,' and given blm a
soft answer." "I did. I lilt him with
a chunk o' mud." Chicago Tribune.
Why He Idked It.
"Your friend looked at the lines tn
my palm the other evening," said Miss
Elderly, "and be said it was a great
pleasure to read such a band as mine."
"Yes," assented Miss ranillliie,
"George la a great hand to read au
clent history." Indianapolis Sun.
Promotes Digcstion,Cheerfur
ness and Rcst.Contains neither
Opium.Morphine norImeiaL
IsOT NARCOTIC.
MapetfOUJOrSSMVILmQait
Atx Smnm
RlCuoatmhSdm
KirmSfd-
Mm ji'mi rtmr.
Aperfecl Remedy forConsl3p.v
non, sour stuuiacn.uiarrnoca
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish
ness and Lo s S O F SLEEP.
Facsimile Signature or
NEW YORK.
i.VvM.'7-'U.ii.
1 -5 . .v.
Tor Infants acfl CliHflren. L
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
T) .T
Signature Axf
tV
X
fit t
If
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
tms ecRTaua aeaaT. am voas arrv.
E.iii.-iiu ii ; urn iii ij i. a.. wimn niinumiimn in mnn
m. rii. -ra.... i .1. -t ' - - - r
Kngliah Axes at ftaatlngs.'
At the battle of Hastings the corps
d'ellte of the English army were nc
coutred with sword and shield, and in
addition to this they bad hung "greiit
hatchets on their necks, with which
they could strike doughty blows."
Whenever a special deed of valor la
credited to an Engllahmnn In that
battle, with one exception, It Is due to
the ax he bears. And now what were
these axes that dealt such deadly de
struction on the Norman knight? As to
tbla we are left In no doubt. Time
after time does Waco call them "great
axes." The bead alone tn one Instance
was s foot In length. And the Iiayeux
tapestry out of about twenty axes
represents all except some three as
having long handles. Hardly ever do
we find hi tapestry the short ax for
one hand.
RUSSELL HIGH GRADE MACHINERY
ENGINES THRESHERS
i Mm
Will Give Up Tribal Itole,
On March 4, 1000, 89,000 red men lo
the Indian Territory will give up tribal
rule and become American cltlteus.
BOILERS
SAW
MILLS
The A. H. Averill Machinery Co.,
STACKERS
Write for Qtalogoc
and Pikes
PORTLAND
OREGON
6
DID'NT HURT A
IS WHAT THEY SAY
BIT
I II
We fan extract one or all your ti eth with
out hurtlna a tut, and put in new tea k the
ania day II you deilre.
Our ayitem ol crown and bridge work Is
Impls, quick and pal n leu.
Established in Portland 17 years.
The reaaon we adreritue la to let you
mow wotsr we ars.
i -
i
iK. W. A. nib
Open evenings till f Pundays from ( 1
Fhons Main Kit.
WISE BROS., Dentists Tr11jS'
s