I City of Changsha After Chinese Communists Wrecked It
ABOUT MERMAIDS AND MERMEN
CAP
14'
'L.
T s
Oilnese Communists, who recently cnjUurtvl the Important city of Chnneshn, s.vstonmtli'nlly lootoil buJ wrcikeJ
th place while they held It. This picture shows the ruins of the main building of a rloh banking firm.
The Real Cause of the Battle
By JOHN SIMM0N3
LWAYS I have liked this yarn I
A
because I know It to be true In
every essential particular. It hap
pened a few years ago In a certain
Broadway restaurant, now dosed,
where the waiters all were Irishmen,
The owner was Irish, too.
It would appear that this owner.
In an Incautious hour, bought a car
load of MUlilgan celery. Maybe It
was a tralnload; at any rate, the es
tablishment was overstocked with
celery that was threatenlnj to go
tale and the staff had orders to push
It while the pushing was good.
In the evening a friend of mine, of
waggish turn of mind, entered the
place and took a seat at a table near
I front window. He was a regular
patron. Ills favorite waiter, a little
peppery, red headed chap, whose first
name was Timothy, ranged up along
side to take his order.
"How are ye tonight, sorrr began
Tlmmy. "Are ye hungry? Te are?
WIIL that's good. S'pose thin we
THE GIANT
HIPPOCRITTER
By Hugh Hutton
(Author of Nutty Natural History)
HERDS of these beasts were first
reported seen by Stanley, the ex
plorer, feeding on angleworms along
the mud flats of the Upper Nile near
Wady Haifa. They prefer condensed
milk, however, and make nocturnal
raids on the nearby towns, during
which much property damage Is sus
tained. To avoid these raids, the na-
tlves have tried passing around cans
of condensed milk among the herds,
which they refuse with remarks that
they never touch the stuff, but the
raids Cjfitlnue the following night.
The catves are at their wits' end to
solve the problem.
The above snapsnot shows a hippo
critter hypocritically denying his fond
ness for the canned liquid. Paper
shell pecans form the head and body,
with lima beans attache for ears and
hind feet. The forelegs are split
beans and toothpicks, while the tall
Is a piece of early spaghetti.
(ffl Metropolitan Ntwiptpcr 8rvlc.)
Why Doys Leave Home 77lXzr
eveay tffl fill it.
Boot' Bcokde Aioco! uoisnfSaae&ooy
U)O0i0 AiVeWT UiCCDUSS
fit rwi
vrri JEErrJlAOf
?
start off wid a nice dish of Mitohlgln
celery? Qhe rpder will note that
Tlmmy was mindful of his Instruc
tions from headijunrters).
"No, I don't think I'll take ary
celery tonight. Just a few oUm and
some salted peanuts to begin on."
"The celery Is very fine, sorr. I
could recommlnd It crlp as a nut,
sorr, an' sweet as sweet kin be.
You'd better change your mind, sorr.
and let me "
"No. I guess not Rrlng me some
oysters on the half shell"
"Wld Jlst a stick or two of that
nice Mitehlgan celery on the side?"
Tlmniy's voice had a winning way
about It.
'Never mind the celery, please.
And after the oysters a soup of some
sort let's see nowT
"Celery soup, sorr?"
"No, chicken consomme. And then
a slice of roast beef rare with baked
potato."
"An a portion of boiled celery eh,
sorr! That new cook of ours has a
way of bollin celery that'd niuke
you"
"No thank you, Tlmmy."
"Well, thin, sorr, surely you'll be
wantln a dash of salad to follow.
Shall I bring you a dish of celery
salad?"
"Not at all." P,y this time the
customer had ficuml out correctly
what motive must lie at the back of
Tlnimy'a determined campaign. "Lis
ten here, Tim," he went on, "I don't
want any celery salad, nor any cel
ery pie nor any cHery ice cream, and
I wouldn't even care for any celery
flavoring In mj coftVe. I dn't like
celery. I never eat celery. Now run
along and get me what I've ordered,
will you. and don't mention the word
celery to me again."
Plainly discomfited by the diner's
obstinacy the little waiter departed.
As soon as he was out of si;ht my
friend hailed Patsy, the tall, hand
some headwaiter.
"Oh, PaU" he called, "Just a min
ute, please!"
Smiling a welcome, the function
ary approached.
"Pat," suid the Joker, "I've been
Some Good Things for the Family Table
r , By NELLIE MAXWELL
IF ONE enjoys fre.sh tasting grape
Juice, which may so easily be put
up at home, do not fall to prepare a
basket or two of grapes this fail.
Grapejulce.
Take one cupful of grapes, taken
from the stems, place In a quart Jar,
add one-half cupful of sugar and fill
up with boiling water. Seal and set
my 0 Ws
w1Ot
C McCJure Nm spine, Svniflcita
J. .1
y i
Sf g
'" "TOIMM'N
A ."44
Wkli World i'huw
coming here a good many years now,
haven't I?"
"You have that, sorr."
"I've been a good friend to this
restaurant, haven't I?"
"None better, sorr none better."
"Then why Is It when I como In
here and try to get something which
I particularly crave, tlmt thick head
ed Tlmmy just naturally won't let
me have it?"
"Oh, there must be some mistake,
sorr. What was It you 'specially
wanted sorr?"
"Well, for the last fifteen minutes
I've been sitting here trying to gt
It through that skull of his that I'd
like Just a few sprigs of fresh Michi
gan celery"
"Mitehlgan celery. Is It?" Put's
astounded voice rose to a whoop.
"Will, of all the " He swung about
on his heel to dart toward the puntry
and bumped inio Tlmmy.
"Walt !" commanded the headwalt
er In Indignant tones. "Stand thore,
you Idiot an' answer me this: Why
Is It whin this gentleman that 'ye've
000-0K00
Favors the
v0XKOO0KXXX0KK
TWO grandchildren of the financier,
Thomas Fortune Ityan, have asked
the court for a new guardian. They
say their grandmother Is too old fash
ioned. A girl of seventeen and a boy of six
teen, the children are part heirs to
their grandfather's estate, which has
been estimated at from one to five
hundred million dollars.
And their grandmother, their pres
ent guardian. Is "too old fashioned !"
Ioulitles their grandmother Is not
too old fashioned to love these, chil
dren. If she Is old ishloned she finds
the sole object of her existence in
their happiness.
And they want to change guard
ians! Without knowing the details of the
.situation which hs brought these
poor-rich children Into print, tnany of
us who do nut lightly express opinions
will be willing to ay that children
w'th too much money need a guardian
who is "old fashioned."
An "old-fashioned" guardian, of
course, will admon!sh them to con
serve tl.eir wealth, to make It useful.
away for use at any time of the year.
The two-quart Jars which ore apt to
be too large for most foods In a small
family may be used for grapejulce.
Add two cupfuis of grapes and one of
sugar, then fill with the boiling water
and seal with new rubbers and per
fect tops.
Ripe Tomato Marmalade.
Remove the skins from four quarts
of ripe tomatoes and slice, add four
pounds of sugar, six large lemons
thinly sliced and tho seeds removed,
and one pound of raisins. Put all to
gether In the preserving kettle and
cook slowly about an hour, or until
thick. Stir often and seal when thick.
Welsh Rarebit
Put two tablespoonfuls of butter Into
a chafing dish or a double boiler.
When melted add one and one-half
cupfuis of finely cut cheese, one half
teiispoonful of salt, one teaspoonful of
mustard, one-half teaspoonful of sugar;
when the cheese Is melted ndd two
thirds of a cupful of cream, one tea
spoonful of cornstarch a dash of
cayenne nnd two beaten ei'gs. Stir
consiantly and cook until very nrnooih
and thick. Serve on hot toast with a
slice of tomato.
Mint Wallop.
Pour one quart of boiling water over
six tcnspoonfuls of tea, a good-sized
bunch of mint, tbe grated rind of four
lemons nnd two oranges. Cool, ndd
the Juices of the fruits and strain.
Add two cupfuis of sugar, one quart
of light grape Juice and one quart of
water, with a bit of green coloring.
Stir and mix until the sugar Is well
dissolved. Chill und serve with
chipped Ice.
(S), 1520. Wont Nnwprier Union.)
Maybe Sooner
"I understand you want a new cook."
"I engaged one five minutes ago.
Call again the day after tomorrow."
1"MlK belief In mennalds and mor
mon dates from tho earliest limes;
nnd the trltous and syrens were half
fish and half human. The North
American Indians relate they were
conducted from northern Asia by a
imm fish. This fable Is told of a mer
maid: In the northern part of Green
land this creatun was seen, appearing
like a woman as far dowu ns her
waist, with long hands and soft hair,
(lie head and neck like that of a hu
man being. Her fingers appeared web
like, as those on the feet of water
birds. From the waist downward tho
creature had a body like a fish. The
brow was low, and the eyes piercing
all In nil, a horrible creature.
Sailors upou seeing these creatures
would become horror stricken, fearing
the loss of several of their crew. The
mermaid would often dive Into the
water and arise to tho surfsco with
fish In Its hands. If It threw them
In the direction of the boat the sailors
took It as an evil omen; In the oppo
site direction, they took It as a good
omen that they would not suffer a
loss In the Impending storm.
Mermaids have been snld to have
been seen off tho coast of llrlmsy In
the years 1305 and l.Tn; and off the
const of Suffolk In 11S7. One old au
thority on natural history records the
appearance of a mermaid which was
sworn to on oath by several of the ob
servers. One monster was seen by three sail
ors at the sides of their boat, with the
hi ad of an old man and broad shoul
ders, but the arms they could not see.
known fur years, comes In cravln a
bit of fresh celery you won't bring It?"
"OKI.F.HY !"
With one wild whoop of rage Tlm
my dropped the serving platter, con
tents and all, and as he msde a leap
for Patrick's throat, my friend
reached for his hat and quietly with
drew. (. br tht WcNtujht S)n.lkt. too.)
Old - Fashioned Grandmother
By JEAN NEWTON
She will point to their wealth as a
responsibility, not merely a medium
for "making whoopee." And that, for
children who have always had every
thing they wanted, who have never
had to give themsi-lves to much seri
ous thought, tastes something like bit
ter pills.
A guardian to their liking would be
one with Just about an opposite train
of thought one concerned chiefly with
having "a good time."
More to their liking, but hardly bet
ter for their own good and future hap
piness. SUPERSTITIOUS
SUE
SHE HAS HEARD THAT
If you are about to move Into a
nw home, for Pete's sake don't go
In for the first time by the back door,
because It It very unlucky.
((0 Ly McClur Nmiumr Symllcato.l
T"J "V j" - , I
WtbJLJk fJM
t PHILADELPHIA ZOO GORILLA AT AGE OF FOUR f
-Jib
' 1Y 1
f J
Ml
Here Is nnmhoo, n gorilla In the Philadelphia zoo, photographed on hid
fourth birthday. He Is oue of the very few of his kind that buve reached
muturlly In cuptlvlty,
The lower part of tho body was
pointed like a llsh,
Tho navigator of a ship relates this
story: One morning wlillo looking
overboard, some of the crew saw a
creatine that appeared to be a iner
maid. It came close, to tho ship as It
had no fears, nnd kept looking at the
men, A 111 tin later a sea enme and
overturned Iter, Her body was like
that of a woman, uiul ns largo, her
skin very white, and she had long,
beaut I fill hair hanging dow n her back.
In her going down they saw her tall,
which was similar to that of the por
poise. Columbus In his Journal relates how
he saw three mermaids. Ho siyi they
were not as beautiful at sometimes
supposed, hut somew hat resembled the
human countenance. It Is supposed
that they were sen calves, but his
Imagination compelled him to give a
wonderful character to everything la
this New world.
(,0 t'jr W'Miin Vrwtinnpfr 1'nlnn.)
y
"Sli was only a washwoman's
daughtsr," says Facetious Florsno
"but she knew where to draw the
line."
(Cupjrliht )
After hearing argument by lawyers
for both sides, the modern grnnilchll
dren and the old fashioned grandmoth
er whom they want to oust as guar
dian, the court oh, yes. this la a legal
matter rescned decision.
The old fashioned grandmother has
our vote. Ami If there are any read
ers of this column who don't agree
with that, I should like to hear their
argument.
I A tll. lull Srnill )
1)
J LAUGH AT TIME
J THE MOST
By Douglas Malloch.
4
I KNOW a man, an old, old ninn.
Who still Is sprightly In his walk,
Who l,m,-li us loud as any ran,
Is just as cheerful In his talk;
And If I did not know his year,
I'd never think of him ns old.
Yes, so imii h younger he appears
That strangers always must be (old.
I know a man, a young, young man,
Who seems to si'liff his way along,
Who knows he'll never live his span.
Although there's nothing really
wrong ;
Ami, If his years I did not know,
I'd never think of him ns young,
Ills mind's so dark, his step mo slow.
Ami so disconsolate his tongue.
And, knowing them, I know mankind,
And, yes, this thing called age, pur
lin ps.
It Is a matter of the mind
As much as of a life's ellipse.
Enjoy whatever Joy you see,
And laugh at everything yon enn,
And time the most, nnd you will be
A younger, not an older, man,
). 1130, Douslu Mslloch
't A
1 !"H
':?
' t 1 A Jf
BELti
TIT FOR TAT S
.-.v ,!,;'
One Sunday moruliif KiMftuVer ol
a church that could Ao'l'holM of a
new organ met a frtmnl y no belonged
to a church that had : Jusl'tfUrehused
one.
"I bear you've got a oflw, oignn.w ha
said. "Now all you need Is a mon
key" t
"And nil yon need Is "an tii;nn,H hi
friend answered wit It, 'ft, iijtlo. A(a
iw rs. ' ' , " '
JUST A MUMPER
'That bird sings. I auppos7"
"No It's a humming bird."
Grandpa Wsybacli Ssvi
VnUai Jo' hlil
I pumtur proof,
III b.t to It'
And till d I roof.
Na Nws to Hr
"Your husband has been nominated
for ofllce," said the neighbor.
"Vou don't swm much Interi-sti'd.
"No. It doesn't make a great deal
of difference. It won't be any news to
me when tfi friendly papers print his
picture, nor when the oppos.tlfft) ed
Itors talk about his faults,"
What Do. Sba Mean?
Father-Thls Is a nice stnie of af
fairs! Here you've got engaged t
this young fellow- he's tsi-S coming
here eery night fur weeks -Slid fuU
know ulsoiiiely noihliig about him I
Paugliter (die.'iinli)i(lx) .Now yoo
mention It, he does rntber like keeping
me In the dark! The Humorist.
H Didn't Count
landlord (ohowliig spnrtiiieiit) No
babies are allowed In this building,
yon know.
The Iji'ly Well, my husband la an
awful baby, but h" won't keep gi,y.
body awnke nights with his crjing'or'
do any dumnge to the Np.iripifUt, I
guess.
f
Fucrptinf On Thiif
Mose- How fit ' enn )oii ull go U
dat new cur?
Ilut-ttis - Ah, i-Miil.l fluke miles a
minute 'repiln' fli one thing.
Mono - Whllfs thit. l.oy )
liUHttis - ny JiV cn'Me ie dlstiuic
Is t"o lop f..h i!e hliorllieri i.f .le
time.
FOOD BUSINESS
"You're In the fMid tuMis'is, eht
Supplying the consuiiR-r.I suppose "
"'o Just consuming." i . , ' i,
i .
Plaint of tho Blkia
If, as they say, th World li round,
1 rsally cannot sue
Why all of It that I hava found
Should atom so tint te m.
Courageous ' '
"Are the Ainerlcnns courngeous as ft
ruler asked the foreign visitor.
"I should say so!" answered the pa
triotic citizen. "You should see tire
way the average American eats suf.
illnes und pie at a picnic."
Succenful Ceniui
"What Is you nephew doing?"
"Ho Is an Inventor."
"What has he Invented?"
"Numerous excuses for iWrnwfnn
money from me." Zurich Neblespiilter.
A Critical Juncture . .
"Illgglns Is a greut friend of yours."
"He has been, heretofore,"
"Don't you expect him to remain
so?"
"Can't tell. I Imve Just Indorsed
his note."
A Tough Round
Indifferent (lolfer You lire gettlnft'
more and more hopeless 1
Cuddle I couldn't have Iftxn.hope
innn wot. i sturted with. The
uiorlHi. v'
Hu
Mm