237039
' -VI
B
OUR COMIC SECTION
Events in the Lives of Little Men
TTn &r AS OLD AS I AM.lBEN Wa
M ! ' APPRECIATE WHAT A SWELL r ,
r Wln'f TIME yU HAD WHEN iOU 2 Vt
, ;s is: iiri,
n Waft.
U TOT
THE FEATHERHEADS
Felix Shoots the Most Valuable Bird
fco nw1 -a. hWt ,8 vM- Avfaw lu0 M
f iXV iM u ABeoT 6oT 'rou- A MEADOW WfcUl 'J
Htf JOS! GOT rtS mt J I I GOT OXJ& fj A25.! nJ 7
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
Page Fanny Brice
. I AlUflO.H fT feJ v- Wl W
f htcmi mat mKBAUO fY ' :V VouSah moiiM mom K V-ArNr
1 I WAT WAlKtDOOT 0WW .1 1 IV OU) - llST AUOWiQ CAS . Vf CO . t
v" Tfl tc to Hosafcfc sotrtftwjy mtttQ )
' , w Cj
v-" , V'iAtsew urns 1 Ami's mv S JauV
BRIGHT SALESMAN
1 am to advertisement canraiMer.
llav jruu any tiuull want I cao ad-
rertlaeT
"Certainly not. 41 r nervant tboald
not linn ailmllted you. I tiaM told
him reiiealedly (but 1 do not tea can-ramwra."
"Then dlamlM hlra and advertlaa In
our paper (or better ona." Faun,
Vienna.
Odd Harveat Fcatival
Held in London Church
Ont of the most cnrlona harvest (ea-
dvala In existence la that held every
year In the old city church of Bt. Dun
atan In the East, near BIshojisKate.
London, Knxlnnd. At tills thanksiflv
ln service 80 kinds of fish, equal to
the Dumber of the 80 articles of the
Church of England, are displayed.
A brotherhood of fish, extending
from the lordly salmon to the hum
ble periwinkle, and Including sole, eel,
habiliut, herring, cod, lobster, crab and
oyster, are used to decorate the
church, and fruits, tea, coffee, cocoa
and wine also have an honored place.
This year a gigantic whenten loaf
more than four feet high, and a great
emdeo goose were also of the com
pany. All these are offering from
city merchant, and when the service
1 over they are sent to Guv's hospital,
according to ancient custom. Detroit
New.
Garfield Tea
Wat Your
Grandmother's Remedy
For every stomacB
and Intestinal 111.
This good old-fasfc.
loned berb bom
remedy for consti
pation, stomach 111
and other derange
ments of the sys
tem so prevalent these day la In even
greater favor a family medicine
Uiaa in your grandmother' day.
Underworld Battle
"1 shall call the police I" exclaimed
the burglar.
"That what I meant u do," aald
the woman whose Jewels were In Jeop-
irdy. "What bop Lave yon. If the
I police arrive?"
"I shall accuse you of attacking m
and trying to take possession of my
hard-won loot from previous Job of
tb evening.
NOT THE DISPLAY
EH
"The men must notice ihe displays
veiy poor aenae In tb way an
tresses."
-Hut It Isn't her display of poor
sens the men notice, my dear."
No Reciprocity
i trltJ lo Isuib at trouble.
But mt tb urn el rumor.
That 014 Use Troublt evr as,
Th slib'at urn of humor.
Fair Eaoafb All Roead
"Wlm l did yuu promise th dele
k'nte that Just railed on your
"Everything they asked." answered
Seautor Sorghum. "And when vote
were mentioned, they promised every
thing I asked. Then we all retired
to think It over, leaving everything
looking Ilk stand off." Washing
on Star.
Se'f -Preservation
Mr. Meeker had crawled under the
lied when he heard the burglar, tie
held hla breath and waited. Then,
after a long pause, b felt some on
trying to crawl In beside him.
'1 thnt you. Henrietta, dearr he
hl"red.
"No," wa the answering whisper.
"I've Just had a look at ber. I'm the
burglar. Move up !"
Youngster Retort Not
Grammatical, but Neat
Th hortage of fruit picker In Or-
anee county recalla the tory they tell
of a Banta Ana man witn a amau
grov who wa too parslmonloue to
hlra exnert help and tried to oo tne
work himself with tb aid of hi (mail
son.
It wa during mldseason Irrigation
that the old man noticed hla eon idling
In the shade and called out at hlra:
"Say I When do yon expect to flo
enough work aronnd her to mane
these orange grow r To wnicn me
tired lad replied:
"As soon aa you give m enougn to
at to grow big enough to do enough
work around these orange to make
am grow." Lo Angeles Times.
Moose Had Bt of It
Th tal of two hunter who went
after duck only to v their car
nnrif wrecked by big moo wa
told at Bice Lake. Wl.. recently. The
hunter were Dr. A. 8. White ana nay
Fitch, who displayed their damaged
automobile a proof of their tory,
The men were driving long an on
traveled hlrhwa. they aald. when a
giant moos Jumped from the aide of
the road and ran beaa on inio ineir
car. The windshield of the car was
broken, one headlight was torn otr,
a hole waa gouged 'nto tne top ana
the radiator wa punctured In the pe
culiar accident The moose ronea
from the bood of the car and disap
peared In roadside undergrowth ap
parently not aeriousiy nun. uiuuui-
poll News.
Ho Was latorostod
A reoorter and photographer went
to a Pittsburgh automobile agency to
get a atory and picture. While they
were there a man rusnea in using
for a fire extinguisher, aylng that
mr ontulrie was on fir. "Cmon." said
th reoorter to bis carer man. "May
be If worth a picture." They went
outside, where the whole landscape
waa lighted up by flame rapidly con
suming a car. In true news bound
style the photographer began to ao
Ms stuf. He suddenly turned psl.
Hey wait a minute!" he yelled,
dancing toward the burning chariot
"That' my car." And o It wa.
To Cool a Burn
Um HANFORD'S
Balsam of Myrrh
rtw.
been
Who'll B N.st
"Phyllis told m she'd only
kissed twice."
"Quit true) one by th army and
one by th navy." London Opinion,
Tb Realisation
"Did yon realize anything from your
Investment In those gold mines r
"Tep, I realized that my wife waa
right" Ottawa Evening Gazette,
Coast to Coast good Grocers tell and
recommend Bum Ball Blue. Bettet
value than any other. Adv.
Up aad U (
"I their house up-to-date?"
"Oh, ye, and op for uctlon."-
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin,
Actios Reveal Thsagbts
I hare always thought th action
of men th beat Interpreter of their-
thought. Exchange
Good Judgment I an excellent thing
to use, but how do yon know wbea
yon have itr
The man who Itches for thing may
get It by lively scratching.
illniMDircrt
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9 Jf tmm mm M mvlmi I
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m af mMbI mbiu fdfew iknrt
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f lurves'S aiotov-toNraM f
J arM1lManr'MUM
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Twm mm ' ' -' ml m
nut. uxm a MtiuoM. taib
ARGUMENTS OF FORCE
Virtu to Vic
Jullu RosenwKld. th millionaire
philanthropist. In an address In Chi
cago advocated hort hour ana long
vacations.
"I love work." he aald. "All suc
cessful people love It It Is one of the
best tilings In the world, let wont
must not be curried to excess.
"Work, carried to exceea, from be
ing a virtue become a vice, just as
fonr area In a card game All every
heart with admiration, while live
cause all manner of trouble, uutred
and turmoil."
"Did hi argument strike you with
iiucb foreeT
"8ur did he got hard fists,"
Word Msgie
Tb eratoi Is ofta ant
To how mysurlou tricks.
An what appsar a MDtlmtot
Provs only politics
sar
Os th Briny Deep
Th fluy 1'ecullar Dstv, th
illn.
Th Girl How lot
Th Gur Well, hi Idea of twin I
i whole school, and bf loses hi eye
in the sea and opens them up aguin
In can.
Hmlnar akts PI S0
I n,i-ki Miiavad an MMlrd by Cole's
i -i -. Lt- J 1
rln chMt complt wunout n. w sno
inr t rtrunlats. or J. W. Col Co.. Rock'
ford. 1H. AdvrttomBt
Black Pettlmlsns
"Our Japanese bravery la perhaps
du to Japanese pessimism." said
OJIro Oyama. Japanese consul to San
Francisco.
"Wo Japanese have a black strain
r njMitnilini in our vein. Our prov
erbs are the most pessimistic In the
world. For Instance:
"To revenge yourself on your en
emy, let blm live."
Very Serious
What make you look so miser
able?"
"I would Ilk to change a 13) bill.
"Hut that la nothing erlou."
"But I haven't got one." .
From the Mouth ol Child
"(imnilina etna youi eye one.
Why, my chlldr
Heviiux paa says, 'When grandma
close ber eye ie'll get big bug ol
money. "
Dainty white dresse for baby ot
daughter made beautiful by Buss Bull
151 u. lour Grocer has It Adv.
Conspiracy
Pebt Collector So your mother's
gone. Well, TH come back tomorrow,
Little Lester 8h won't b her to
morrow. We're leaving town tonight.
Pel Mete, Pari.
t.tmr . -m bs rj h "- aa
-' TL.-" B SI
r
SUFFERING ELIMINATED
15-year success la treating Rectal aad
Coloa troubles by the Dr. C J. Dcaa
Sh4s M to 0X HiniN A
StJRANCB ot Ml KS KI1MI.
NATEO t (El! RKKllNUfU.
Smi tmmr Im r KKK loe-eaas
booSAwcrSniMUMMHiiilni
aHif-MPI Y aavsiaiii 11 i , l
RLtTAlVj COLON .unit.
Oregon & CaEfornia Directory
Hotel Roosevelt
Omtmf PORTLAND'S Stmtr Hmtml
All rouw bar hovror lib, W mtltSOt
til W. Vmrk IH. CsHbo. UmrmevmmUm,
HOTEL WILTSHIRE, Saa Frwcbcf
Mucklna . Br taton friui, SaUMSW
VHAMsLtH . "MITtl. Manr
Oouite tn.ua im bi.B Hi iimi, .at aas .n
piarttauM vlib bU. sua alBla. SI In A Soobi
aiMUaala mm, Ha. wa. SWi iHBAan
pi. I SI.... EARN BIO MONEt
Start NQsV ISK)preutKl4SUa
Mrtiir if aeolKta Wrttclureaktslo
Mm avaTtst or coition
W 111
Pipe Valves, Fittings
Pump Engines
Farm Tools & Supplies
ALASKA JUNK CO.
rirat aad Taylor Sis, Fotllasd, Orego
HOTEL ROOSEVELT
AN FRANCISCO'S NtW 1NI HOTtX
CrC7 mas wlib bstk sr abowaj. SZLO to SLa.
Joaaa at Udr. Omf sxt soa.
W. N. U, PORTLAND, NO. ol-IWt.
Civ. Hlas a D. S. C
"Did you bear about tit bright for
est rangert"
"No, what did h dor
"Applied for a penalon after being
gassed by a skunk."
A Trainisg Stast
The Guide That atalu represents
'he disk thrower. Plsk llirowing was
lull an lniHirtiint event In th Oiym
!)(' guinea.
Urs. Illram Offun I wonder It
thai' whiil my kitchen maid I prnr
ileitis when ahe should h wuahlng
th dishes?
Evldsne
'You'd never think this street nsen
mi b cow pnth. would your
WhoWantstobeBald?
Not manv, and when you are
Retting that way and loosing
hair, which ends in baldness,
you want a good remedy that
will stop falling hair, dandruff
and grow hair on the bald head
BARE-TOHAIR is what you
want
ro lals at AH Daabn fct TaOot Artkla
mm,mmmtl ' i I
W.H.rorBt,Mfgr.
Writ, for
!Zm Scottdal. Pernna.
bfi
,-alves on It"
"Oh. I don't know) look at all th.