D
OUR COMIC SECTION
Santa's Mistakes
D
THE FEATHERHEADS
One Nut to Another
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
Desperate Andy
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DRAWING FROM NATURE
Th class bad bn told to bring
things to school for drawing lesson,
BJi'l Jtvit aa the lesson was about to
begin, a ainull boy win found standing
tearfully at till teacher's desk.
'I've swallowed Uijr object," be ex
plained.
'What was Itr asked, the teacher
anxiously.
'A banana," replied the would-be
artist I'earaon's Weekly.
Up-to-Date City Built
on Old RefuM Dump
Part of Ottakrlng, Uie alxtoentb dln-
trlct of Vienna, known under tti name
of "Bniidlelten," writes a corrfajiond-
ent of the London Sunday Ottttrrer,
was uncd for years as a refuse dump,
But the municipality resolved to trans
form the place Into a kind of gurden
city, and after four years' labor has
now flniahed tlie construction of a new
town whlcb will house some 7,000 persons.
The place, which Is to be opened for
uae In a short time, will have 1,000
Outs, a large number of shops and
storehouiws, library, theater and Cin
ema, kindergarten, public both, post
ofllce, cafe, reatnuraht and park. Its
architecture Is modern town style,
with a smack of the rustic Round its
center, the Mutteottl squnre, the
streets are grouped. Borne streets and
squares are called after Llebknecbt,
Itosa Luxemburg, Nietzsche, and oth
ers.
HIRED CLERKS FOR THAT
T)o,n't Tour devotion to SDOrta
csuse you to neglect your business!
".No I hire clerks to do UiaL'
Voice of Hope
Althoash rtfnrms Mm rlhr UU,
Wi hop, from dr to day.
Tr lw)r la a ctndldiu
To ehr ua on th way..
Setting Htr Right
Tin new Milkman was a bashful
young man. but he was anxious to
please his clients.. An elderly woman
aiiared at the door of a bouse be
served, and demanded, haughtily,
"How much Is my milk blUT
The young man blushed and atanv
aiered, "IJeKKln' yer pardon, ma am,
but my name's JlmT Stray Btorlea.
SatmM Safa to Atk
"Why are you so penslver be
aaseo.
"I'm rv nnnalv N mhm mnHoA
"Hut yon haven't said a word fur
twenty minutes."
"Well, I didn't hav anything, to
ssy.
Goldtn Wedding
"Here Is an Invitation to my golden
Wedding."
"What I Tour golden weddlngT
"Tea, don't you know I am marry
ing a millionaire's daughterr
At a London Bar
"What about thene Americans, tb.
abatr
'What about "em. old topf
"I Junt lieard a fol'ah say that
chickens vote."
WHAT COLLEGE DOES
, Coed Do you think college Is doing
much for youT
Stude 1 (luniM)l I knew most ol
this stuff before I came.
High Cotl of Ssrcstm
Beware or th urcaitlo chalL
II nrvn no end
It, v.ry lime you set a laugh, -
Vou Iom a friend.
,Wrr Profe$$or
"rrofesaor, what chulr do yon oc
cupy?"
"My chulr Is In a burners' college."
"IlehT
"I do not occupy IL 1 stand be
hind It."
Necettary
Card Slmrk Ciiine on, nnrdi Join
our little giiine. Vou ktiow bow to
play, don't yout
Wlsen re Yes, but I don't know
bow lo client
No CauMt lor Pridt
"Whut iiuikes the monkeys so angry
this morning?" Inquired the keeier.
"Well," snld the attendant, "Pro
fessor flnrdner hns Just oeen around
telling them of the Uurwlnlun theory
that they have de-seemled tom inan."
Compact Luggag
Gertie Gee, I'm nui o' luck. I've
Inst my compact.
Kin Here, line mine.
Gertie Hut I had my bathing suit
in ir.
Denver Mother
Tells Story
Nature controls tall
the functions of our
digestive organs ex
cept one. We bare
control over that, and
It's the function that
causes the most trou
ble.
Bee that your chil
dren form regular bowel bablts, and
at the first sign of bad breath, coated
tongue, biliousness or constipation.
give them a little California Fig
Byrnp. It regulates the bowels and
stomach and gives these organs tone
and strength so they continue to act
as Nature Intends them to. It helps
build up and strengthen pais, listless,
Underweight children. Children love
Its rich, fruity taste and It's purely
vegetable, so you con give It as often
as your child's appetite lags or be
seems feverish, cross or fretful.
Leading physicians have endorsed
It for SO years, and Its overwhelming
sales record of over four million bot
tles a year show bow mothers depend
on It. A Western mother, Mrs. K. W.
Stewart, 4112 Karitan St, Denver,
Colorado, says! "Raymond was ter
ribly pulled down by constipation. He
got weak, fretful and cross, bad no
appetite or energy and food seemed
to soar to his stomach. California
rlg Syrup bad him romping and play
ing again In Just a few days, and
soon be was back to normal weight,
looking better than be had looked in
months."
Protect your child from Imitations
of California Fig Syrup, The mark
of the genuine la the word "Cali
fornia" on the carton.
ToaeorUI Mockery
They are telling at the Century club
a Joke on the English writer, D. IL
Lawrence.
Mr. Lawrence, on his recent lec
ture tour, arrived In a smallish Ohio
town and went to the barber's for a
balr cut
"Anything going on tontghtr be
asked the barber.
"Lecture," snld the barber.' "Eng.
Ushman named Lawrence."
The Englishman named Lawrence
smiled. "I'm blm," be sold.
The barber started back In a the
atrical way. Then be said to a man
who was sharpening razors on a
stone:
"Here, Dili, sweep up all this red
hair. I wsnt to preserve It" New
Tork Times.
' Day follows on the murkiest night,
snd, when the time comes, the latest
fruits will ripen. Schiller.
Drink Water to
Help Wash Out
Kidney Poison
If Your Bsck Hurts or Bladder
Bothers You, Begin
Taking Salts
When yoor kidneys hurt and yonr
back feels sore don't get scared and
proceed to load your stomach with
a lot of drugs that excite the kidneys
and Irritate the entire urinary tract
Keep your kidneys clean like you
keep yonr bowels clean, by flushing
them with a mild, harmless salts
which helps to remove the body's url
nous waste and stimulates them to
their normal activity. The function
of the kidneys Is to fitter the blood.
In 24 hours they strain from It 600
grains of acid and waste, so we can
readily understand the vital Impor
tance of keeping the kidneys active.
Drink lots of good water yoo cant
drink too much; also get from any
pharmacist about four ounces of Jad
Bolts; take a tahlespoonful In a glass
of water before breakfast each morn
ing for a few days and yonr kidneys
may then act fine. This famous salts
Is made from the acid of grapes and
lemon Juice, combined with llthla, and
has been used for years to help clean
and stimulate clogged kidneys; also
to neutralize the acids In the system
so tbey are no longer a source of Irri
tation, thus often relieving bladder
weakness.
Jad 8alts Is Inexpensive, cannot In
jure; makes a delightful effervescent
llthla-water drink, which everyone
should take now and then to help keep
their kidneys clean and active. Try
this; also keep up the water drinking;
and no doubt yon will wonder what
became of your kidney trouble and
backache.
SUFFERING ELIMINATED
IS-years socctai la treating Rectal and
Cokw troubles by the Dr. C J. Deaa
NON-SUKCICAL aMfhotf
Monto 0vt WRITTEN A.
SCKA.NCB of PILES KUM1
NATEO er FEE KETUNbEU.
Send lodmt tat FRB loo-faaa
i Soot dii'iti las i mi mm J prop.
er IrokbMni ol eaco aftmewfe
via
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UEJIW w
LUNIC
RETT
Em5iT Ir.uL.
i
W. N. U, PORTLAND, NO. 1-1929.
Expotod
Little Jane Nles, a frequent visitor
to southern California from St Louis,
was poring over her lessons, working
bard for a double promotion, when her
mother spied ber counting on her
fingers.
"Jane," she said Jokingly, "why not
take off your shoes and stockings and
then youli have twenty digits to use."
"Jane pondered over the suggestion
for a moment and then exclaimed:
"Now I know why daddy went bare
footed when he was a little boy!"
Exchange.
That's Why
"That big car of Crown's sure klckf
up a lot of dust"
"No wonder, It's dragging a mort
gage on a quarter section of land."-
Capper's Weekly.
FOR.
Colds
- . . . " w
' f A V f ' " v"
To brealt a cold harmlessly and in a hurry try a Bayer Aspirin ?
tablet And for headache. The action of Aspirin is very efficient,
too, in cases of neuralgia, neuritis, even rheumatism and lumbago.!
And there's no after effect; doctors give Aspirin to cliildren
often infants. Whenever there't pain, think of Aspirin.- The
genuine Bayer Aspirin has Bayer on the box and on every tablet.
All druggists, with proven directions.
Physicians prescribe Bayer Aspirin;
it does NOT affect tie heart
Aqflrts It tie bids smiX ef Btytr Musisttsr ef UestsetUcteUeittt ef ttUcjictU