The Ione independent. (Ione, Or.) 1916-19??, November 16, 1928, Image 2

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arc the
of your
Events in the Lives of Little Mai
Makes Life
Too much to eot too rich a diet
or too much smoking. Lots of tiling
cause sour stomach, but one thing; can
correct It quickly. Phillip Milk of
Magnesia will alkallnlze the acid.
Take a spoonful of this pleasant
preparation, and the system Is toon
Phillips Is always ready to relieve
distress from over-eating ; to check all
acidity; or neutralize nicotine. Ite
menibor this for your own comfort j
for the sake of those around you.
Endorsed by physicians, but they al
ways say Phillips. lon't buy some
thing else and expect the same re
suits .'
Milk .
of Magnesia
Do Not Nt(lecf
P3stor Koenla's Nervlnei
Hai Beta Ud Succeufullr for over 3
40 yeiri. Sold hr ill Drur Storti.
3 Ak (or FFKC SAMPLE 3
r 1045 N. W!l St. CHICAGO, ILE. 5
The Highroad
Bernard M. Baruch, discussing sac
cess, said at i luncheon In New Vork :
"Julius Ilosenwald, the mall order
king. Imputes his success to luck.
I would Impute It to pluck, or what
ever the quality Is that makes
man fight on the harder, the more
he Is knocked down and kicked about.
Mr. Itarucb paused moment; then
he said Impressively:
"Failure I the highroad to suc
cess." Bum Cloth
Mr. IJewItt From his conversation
one would gather that he was
Mr. Jewltt I don't get you.
Mr. Hewitt Always talking about
cloak of friendship and mantle of
Social uplift the lorgnette.
On the Job
Janitor It's time to go home
what are you waiting for?
Clerk I'm waiting for the woman
who said she'd look around i little
and come back later on.
The laws of Oregon require that
pedestrians walk on the left side of
country roads. In this wny they face
oncoming (raffle
If Kidneys Act
Bad Take Salts
Says Backache Often Means You
Have Not Been Drinking
Enough Water
When yon wake up with backache
and dull misery in the kidney region
It may mean you have been eat
ing foods which create acids, says
well-known authority. An excess of
such acids overworks the kidneys In
their effort to filter It from the blood
and they become sort of paralyzed and
logity. When your kidneys get slug
gish and clog you must relieve them,
like you relieve your bowels, remov
ing all the body's urinous waste, else
you hare backache, sick headache,
dizzy spells; your stomach sours,
tongue Is coated and when the weath
er Is bad you have rheumatic twinges.
The urine Is cloudy, full of sediment,
channels often get sore, water scalds
and you ore obliged to seek relief two
or three times during the night.
Either consult a good, reliable phy
sician at once or get from your phar
macist about four ounces of Jad
Salts; take a tablespoon fill In a glnss
of water before breakfast for a few
days and your kidneys may then act
fine. This famous suits Is made from
the ncld of grapes and lemon Juice,
combined with llthla, nnd has been
used for years to help clean and stim
ulate sluggish kidneys, also to neu
tralize adds In the system, so they no
longer Irritate, than often relieving
bladder weakness.
Jad Salts Is Inexpensive, cannot In
jure nnd makes a delightful, efferves
cent lllhla-watcr drink. Drink lots of
good water.
After a particularly frightful shot,
his partner turned to hliu and In
quired: "How long, may I ask, have you
been playing golf?"
"Oh, about live years," was the
"lteally," said the first scathingly,
"I had no Idea It was possible to
acquire such appalling Ignorance of
the game in so short a time.
lusurauce Agent Madam, Is your
son engaged In a hazardous occupa
tion? Lady Whj no Indeed, he's col
lete student.
L A. Well, you know this company
doesn't pay anything on suicides.
Wrong End
"I'll let shingle," I
Heard Hipper Mary boast;
But course 1 knew '(wouldn't be
Where she did need It moil.
Must Fall to Rite
"Paddy,"' said his little daughter
as they watched an airplane, "do you
think they will ever get to heaven fly
ing away up like that?"
"Not by going away up, my dear,"
was the reply; "they are more likely
to do It by coming down." Vancouver
A Mighty Seat
Two young boys were telling about
great deeds, when one who was s pro
fessor's son spoke np and said his
father occupied the cbalr of applied
physics at Cambridge.
"Dat's nutting," replied the other,
"mine occupied the seat of applied
electricity at Slog Sing."
Making It Up
Customer (to watchmaker) I told
you that my watch lost half an hour
every day, and now, that you have re
paired It, It gains half an hour every
Watchmaker Well, don't complain.
It's only working to catch up lost
"This shoe fits yon perfectly ma
dam. Vou'll find It very comfortable."
"Then give me a size sroa-s,r,
Correct I
There are meters of vole
And meters of tone;
But the beat of til meters
I meet 'er alonel
Going end Coming
The Booking Agent Did your
"Uncle Tom" tent show have long
run on the road?
The Lead Not very long run.
But we bad a nice little bike getting
When the Sap Flowt
Marks There are summer, winter
and auiumn resorts, but never any
for spring.
Parks That's because spring Is
good enough for anyone anywhere.
The Beginner
VAub Pro. Have you played much
Novice Well, t falrlsb bit.
Club Pro. H'm let' see how yoo
hope up. Take your stance,
Novice Which club I that?
Subtle Suggestion
Wife Will you help me with the
dishes tonight, John?
John Yes, but why not tell me yon
need a new set and be done wttb It?
RWiftO WHY VMOO V1 fJ?a 2!5i A HAR0 ?
VABMMlHV ttH S ' HA)T.SH&btoMWt& Lx
' SSa, li 0). ' cr4i IK
rgf , ASoooCOo( FAiH ZflOMTiECftCLObSS. A
t A LOStS.'-'cWK NIQVWW) f 1 tiSBlGGKT GflMBllRS J
31 A nttwsfiAiaosoi.- h rrVilt wotuo' J Tl
2 N rA w ci a ct is , ; ! iN VV fa
THE FEATHERHEADS No Rest for the Weary
I . , . .M 1 -z I
r-i riAVKW Tin Ait 1 clvr 1 t
i t fit &. ' -p-
of i ii i rv , .Mj'-tir i
Weitei Keiraw ' ' ' Jt6 ht
Ain't It the Truth
s .
Rare Curios at Auction
For amnllierlng widows after their
husbands have died, a dense tnnsk
used by the relative of I'olyuusia
was one of a immlicr of weird rari
ties recently sold at nuctloo la Lon
don. Other odd things Included a
New Guinea "man catcher," hideous
mask worn by the members of l Me
Inneslnn secret society) a collection
of human heads, somo of which have
been inn de Into baskets; a Houth sea
god and goddess which were fouud
In rsve, and a primitive Iron toolli
Without a Cover
Miss Tattle I had a most romnntle
gift sent me. Junt this plain open
box with Your Countorpart"
on It What can It mean?
Miss Tittle .My dear, how In
triguing. Did you say It won't shut
np? London OpKlou.
!' " - - -1
Los Angeles Boy
Needed Help
J.emy Young. 11H
Oeorglu St., Los An
iti'les, I a "regular
fellow," active In
tHrl, and nt thr top
III his classes at
si'hmil. To look at
hlui now, you'd think
lie never had a day's
sliknee but hl mother says: "When
Leroy was Jiint a llttle fellmr, we
found his stotnni'li nml bowels were
weak, lie kept sulTerlng from con
stipation. Nothing hft sto ugriH-il wllh
Mm. He wss fretful, feverish and
"When we started giving Mm Cull,
fiirnln Fig Hyrup his rmiditlon Ini
proved quickly. Ills consllpntlon and
lilllousiiess stipp-d ami he has bad
no more trouble of that kind. I have
slnre used Culif'irnla Klg fyrup with
him for rolls nnd upset Sn-IIs. lie
likes It het'siise It taitp an gixd and
I like It because It helps Mm so won
derfully !"
California Klg fyrup lias been the
t nut I'd standby of inollier for over
.V) years. Leading physicians recom
mend It. It la purely vegetable and
works with Nature to regulate, tone
and strengthen the stomsib end
bowels of rhlhlren so they get Ml
nntirlihtneiit from their food and
wnste Is t-lliiilnuted In normal way.
I'our million hottli-s used a year
shows how mothers depend on It. Al
ways liMik for the word "Cullfiirnla"
on the rnrton to be sure of getting
the genuine.
The Impossible
Woman Illg, strung man like you
begging. You otiKht to look around
for work.
Trump Excuse me, lady, but I've
got such a stiff neck I simply can't
look arouud. .
Pertinent Question
"She's always running somebody
down." "lteally? Motor or 'gossip?"
-Border Cities ijlas.
Lydia E. Pinkham's VegeUbU
Compound Strengthened Her
Elkhart, Ind ' I had a tired feel
ing and wss unable to gnt out of bed
I Without thn hell)
of my husband.
We heard of the
Vegetable Com
pound and de
oided to try It.
I am still taking
It and it sure Is
a help to me. I
csn do my work
without resting
b e f o r I am
tli rough. I know
that If women
Will give the Vegetable Compound a
trial they can overcome those tired
and worn-out feelings. I cannot ex
press the happiness I have received
and how completely It has made over
my home." Mas. n. H. Biiikht, 1324
Laurel St., Elkhart, luilLuua,
Carter's little Liver Fids
la uium I. I, a -.i-
I i
.l .11 , ' "-""V pmet one uf
Iheee little pllli ulua iher meali or at bedtime
will do wooden, eepeclellr when you heee
oeemtenot ere Irouhled with conttlpeiloa.
Remember tli.T ere e dortor'e preecriiHIoa
a f" ,tk,n .hf "'' 'Uf.
All Drueeleu He and Tic Red Packaaee.