V
f
Embarra$s!ng
Pedestrians In one of the busy
streets of fllnsgow, Scotland, recent
l.v were n mured by iwivl strains of
music Issuing apparently from
young no m n n, who was Mushing
furiously. She had Just bought
orlnble radio sot thnt hml not boon
phut off when she left the store.
While he was on the street theltlas
(row station began broadcasting nml
she did not know at first how to shut
oil the machine.
Blackttone
Sir Wllllnm Iilackstone published
In 1705 a volume entitled "Commen
taries on the Laws of England. " This
was the first and only book of Its
kind in Knglnnd, and it came to be
regarded as nn authoritative revela
tion of the law. While It has ceased
to be of much practical value as an
authority in the courts, It remains un
arbiter on all public discussions on
the law or the constitution.
Garage Floor
A layer of cinders six Inches thick
makes a very satisfactory floor for the
home garage. The cinders should be
thoroughly stamped down, a hose be
ing used to wet them down during the
operation. This floor absorbs grease,
oil and gasoline that may leak out of
the mechanism and It Is, moreover,
practically dustless.
Novel Menu
When Jackie returned from his first
party his mother was eager, of course,
to hear all the details of the festivity.
When asked what he had to eat.
Jackie said "rink Jumbo and thumbs:"
Ills mother, quite mystified, tele
phoned his hostess, and found that
cherry Junket and lady fingers bad
been served.
Lord Effingham
A good many towns In the United
States are called Effingham. There Is
always a renron. During the Revolu
tionary war, Lord Effingham resigned
Ms commission In the English army,
refusing to fight the Americans after
England employed the Hessian mer
cenaries. E. W. Howe's Monthly.
Expensive Advice
"Olve the children hammer and
saws," reads a column of advice to
parents. Tes, let the little darlings
practice on the piano lees cr the bed
atpad. Some lovely and nnlque pat
terns can be traced on dresser fronts
with the claws of hammer, for In
stance. Louisville Courier-Journal.
Training Inditpentable
Oh, yes, yon can browse amund and
pick tip a living without an education,
bnt even a Jackass, to be of any use
In the world, must be trained. If your
only ambition Is to lire yoo have al
ready accomplished that and may as
well move on. Houston Post-Die-patch.
The Looie Handle
Is there anything so annoying al to
have an umbrella whoe handle comes
olT each time yon raise It? Fill the
cavity In the handle with melted alum
and then quickly press the stick Into
it. holding It firmly until It sets.
Heart at Body't Monarch
tr. William Harvey, who demon
strated the circulation of the blood
through the body, dedicated his book
describing his work to the king, stat
ins that "the king In his kingdom Is
like the heart In the body."
Meaning of F ence
Fence soon will be nothing bnt
country word, for In the cities fences
have almost been forgotten, tt ts a
word, though, full of romance, being
shortening of defense the first os
of a fence being to keep out foes.
Woman't Weapon
After all, the woman who never
sheds tears ts not as lovable a the
woman who occasionally sobs. Emo
tionalism In women makes ber admir
able. Atchison Olobe.
A Fellow Feeling
Ton can't realize bow Bolshevist
feels If yoo nerer have bought a $.15
suit and beheld the same kind In the
window nejt day reduced to I14.9S.
Human Nature
When two start Into the world to
gether, he that ts behind, nnless his
mind proves generous, will be dis
pleased with the other. Collier.
Cott of Englith Roadt
The main roads In and i round Lon
don and other large English cities cost
approximately $1,000 er aifle an
nually to maintain.
n E e p
if
v t . . - " ii l n
WELL CR MONEY BACK
Your rit.t llmlnaterl or fM rf undtd l tli
WkjrifcN A&( KANCtwc ftivclnadmlnliler.
irtg I fit nr. L. J. IXan laimnjf
sion-turqfcal met hud of treat
mcnt, (Uud by ut cicluclvrly)
Kemarkutrlf lucent alto with
n tlierK fetal and Culonallmciilf.
bendlOIMY lor rKl.h 10O
v naac book Ivlnd da-tail and
liECTALw COLON CLINIC
W N Tl n H
" '
LIFE'S
LITTLE
3-
JESTS 2S
STICKING TO DIET
Two friends who had not met for a
long time sat In a restaurant talking.
"How Is old Snagcs, the company
promoter, getting on?" Inquired oue.
"Oh, he's not beeu feeling very well
lately," was the reply. "He has to
keep to a very strict diet Just a little
of certain special food."
"What's wrong with him?" queried
the other. "Indigestion? Insomnia?
"No. In prison." London Tld-Blts.
EASY TO FIGURE
"Say Jim, what's tliet blank space
np there fer where all them ads are?'
"Don't you know Bill? Why that's
for the people what can't read, silly."
Take 'Em
Tou nerd ne'er sk her for a kiss.
For the tips of cut Llitit
Are Just an Invitation, Bo,
To In and gat buey.
For Hit Own Improvement
Mr. Newglit Holtail says he met
you on the street and yoo refused to
recognize him. He's common folks
and all that, I know, but he's dia
mond In the rough.
His Dnusbter I know he's a dia
mond la the rough. That's why I cut
him.
The Stay-at-Home
"Tour wife U busy with politics?"
"llrlllluntly," answered Mr. Meekton.
"Tou huve to do a great deal of
reading to bold your own?"
"I do. And I find It difficult."
"What do you read?
"Mostly the cook book." Washing
ton Star.
Meeting Man't Needt
"Tou have made some wonderful ex
plorations of ancient tombs."
"I have," said the eminent archeol
oglst. "And I am Inclined to think
that the ancients would have contrib
uted more to human progress If they
bad paid less attention to private
monuments and more to skyscrapers."
BROWN AS A BERRY
"Ob, how perfectly glorious you
look, Mrs, Van Lucre, wltb tbat won
derful cout of tun."
"'Scuse ire, lady, but youse has got
me mixed. I's Mrs. Van Lucre's Dew
cook."
Wildcat
A wildest sits upon a tree,
In fretful contemplation.
I'm (lnd you'r j-jit a feline free,
And not a speculation.
In Thit Age
"Tou seem to be willing to listen
to these hard luck stories."
"Yes, It Is sometimes a relief to hear
about somebody who Is Inefficient."
Louisville Courier-Journal,
Hardly the Thing
"Slinkespeurenn stuffs seem to be
the go. like me a success slogan or
quotation."
"'Neither a borrower nor a lender
be.'"
"Hut this is for a bunk."
Fithing
"Hear about Flubdub?
"No."
"lie went fishing one dny and his
wife didn't see him again for sevtn
yea rs."
"I haven't that much pntlence with
the flali." Louisville Courier-Journal.
Might Get Hooked
Gilbert Never tell a girl yoo love
her.
tieruld Why not?
"She'll probably believe you.
''111
OUR COMIC SECTION
Events
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
uOTS- wuv sore, wats " ,1;, ScE!:HEC! xA
' LOTS-, 1 I FOINCl-AMHAVC f WuL I tT A NlCt? vV
' 1 ofS csTATf' VvaAAXlVW0S?KSI5?J l' WNTrSf WrtO SMS.
WAREAL A. V "7 iKTEBESTtD-BOTIH
Srfll 'I f SM SA
THE FEATHERHEADS Drive Yourself Fanny
' wm WN,lls 1 & U oor of ouj (o-Stoo 1 I "Im I
y' CABS OH W AV'. U ON flGHIVt
eTfaataraHawapaparUalot) I oSnoPlUS-
in the Lives of Little Men
A
Means to Another End
"Cafe of the Godt"
Jt was the Idea of the Chaldean and
I'luloiilt! philosopher that the "itatw
of the gotU" was located In t'nprl
coriius, say Naluro Miiiiln.
Through this l released by,
tlealh returned to heaven, whllsj
Ihroiigh the "gale of u" In the con.
slellittlou of t'linwr, souls tlesceiided
from heaven In the bodice of men.
The poelllons of these two "gates"
correspond to the poslllous of the two
solsllces, winter mid summer respeo
lively.
Cfttalina Iiland Yieldi
Many Ancient Treasure
Aviilon, Sanla Oilullim Island, CaU
An ntlempt to follow ancient trull
to the longlost Muhtt temple o(
fliliilgclilnlch, the Hun Ood, ha r.
suited Instead In the discovery of the
burial place of a email Indian prln
cess of 11,000 years ago and evidence
Indicating that child sacrifice were
muilo In wholesale fashion by tribe
of the Channel Islands, oh the coast
of California. '
Within tt stone urn weighing 131
pounds and fashioned skillfully a
though by modern tools win fount!
the skeleton of an Indian girl be
tween five and seven years. Her
bauds apparently had clutched the
rim of nn urn, whose rich ornnmenta
tlon of wampum bespeaks her royal
lineage.
In a circle with the urn ns a en
ter were counted by I'rof. Italph (illd
den, curator of tho Calallna museum
of Channel Inland Indiana, Ihn skele
tons or 01 children burled III tier
four deep with small heads touching
cio ll other.
Ileneiilli them Was tho skeleton of
a seven foot num. A sx-ar blade still
wns II tod In the ribs.
The Bund wlllilu thit funeral urn
hud the flpiienrnnce of ground crystal
apparently, ncconllng to the dlacov
t-rcr, a sacred sund uetl In tha Imrlul
of Indian royalty awl " far dlf
fcri-nt fr that which bnd sifted
oer the graves of the other children.
Tliemi llutla lis well as a wealth of
olnlillnn ktiin-a, sinr points and ar
row heiuls ami hundreds of other ar
il. Irs of MBttipuiii'liiliild stone end
bono have provided material over
whlrh tilltlih-n tins puttied since be
dlscoered them.
IMio thin piece of slate he believes
to be a stone map, boles having been
drilled to Indicate trails to the four
tmiln btirjlng grounds on Santa Cala
Una Inland.
"It Is plausible," (Hidden suld. "that
the slriinite child burial within the
urn and those surrounding It were
the result of a natural dentil of
little girl of high rank and the sluy
Ing of fit attendants and plnymutc
with her. Or they nil limy have been
killed In Borne religious ceremonial
rile.
"It Is even possible the prlncras may
lime been ghen some potion nml bur
lei! nlli. Tin, wnv Hi snintl hstuls
clutched the outer rt tit of the bowl
aillfce tills a liosillilllty."
Wampum Inlaid In four broken
circles mi the rlin of the urn with
"gates' leading In the four points of
Him r,ilni,tiaa leuil f It I ilil.-n In li..ll..ia
the burial place may l near the site
or the temple or liltiigrliinirll.
Cuffer Stored lor Winter
Tim liepartmeiii of Agriculture suy
that for buiter, to be stored for win
ter llc, pasteurized sweet crenni
should be used, churned al a low teni-IM-ruture
and the butler washed s
that It will be firm and waxy. Holla
or prints ol butter should be wrapped,
In parchment butter iner, placed In A
bIoimi criH-k, and covered with siroiig
brine. Ilutler should I stored In as
eiMil a place as la avnllnble and In a
place free from odors likely to be al
soi bed by the butler.
Popular trio three meals a day.
WhenRod
Sours
Lots of folks who think they have
"liitllgeNllou" have only an acid condi
tion which could be corrected In five
or ten minutes. An effective nntl add
like Phillips Milk of Magnesia soon
restores digestion to normal.
I'hllllps does away wit Ii nil that
sourness and gas right nfler meals It
prevents the distress an npt to occur
two hours lifter eating. What a pleas
ant preiiarulloii to tnkt-1 And how
good It In for the system! t'nllke a
hurtling dose of soda which Is hut
temporary relief nt best I'lillllp
Milk of Magnesia tietiirnllzee mini
times ll volume In ncld.
Next time hearty meal, or too rich
a diet ha brought on tha least dis
comfort, try
PHILIPS
1 Milk .
of Magnesia