OUR COMIC SECTION
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Ether Wares J
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The Revolt of
tKe Genii
By WALTER ARNOLD
(Copyright.)
AI.IIKKT OAKHAM waa forty years
old and unmarried. The rrowB
waa tlmt lu nil those forty years he
had never wanted a wife. Tlmt waa
wlmt he tulil those Impertinent people
who asked him why he bud remained
single. When he wanted wife he
reckoned he would get one h always
hud got everything he wanted eo fur.
When he m I child Ills parenta
spoiled hlia and after their death,
leaving liiui with a great fortune, ha
continued the process hy spoiling him
aelf. Alnddln had a lamp and when
he ruhhed It genii appeared and pro
vided nlm with anything he wanted
slnves of the lamp. Albert Oakham
had lomethtng Jut aa gooda check
book with a hug" bank account be
hind It. When ha acratched the check
book with a pen obsequious genii In
up to-dale clothca appeared and
broiiKht him what he desired.
And now at forty Oakham acratched
the magic hook anil ordered a wife.
Not Just any wife, yon understand, J
but a certain one; a young Indy whom
he himself had picked for the posi
tion. Of the genii who rescinded to
the call Albert selected Mr, r'loren
clu Wareham. Mra. Wareham was
society woman thai was her busi
ness. She had no money, hut she knew
aoclety from A to Ixxard and was the
niont successful matchmaker going.
Now don't for a minute picture Mrs.
r'lnrcncla Wareham as an old woman.
She was not even middle nged. She
had been married off by her pureuts
when she was hardly out of her
"teens" to a nwn much older than her
self who had gone Into bankruptcy
and died a year after their marriage.
Mrs. Wareham was only thirty five,
strikingly good looking and bright as
they make 'cm. Secretly she loathed
the part si e hud been forced to play
In the soclul giime, but custom curried
her on.
Onkham had nut Alice Itrltton only
twice when he revolved that she was
the ieison he desired for Ills wife,
and had a talk with Mra. Wareham.
Then everywhere Alice was Invited
Albert was Invited. Mra. Wareham ar
ranged that. She also arranged "nccl
detiliil meetings" betwen them. Mrs.
Wurelin m's many friends also heled
through sheer good nature, Alice wai
at first a little nltli.li. She had Died
her regards upon a etrugi;lliig young
lawyer not at all In her set, either so
cially or financially. This much to the
distress of her estlmuble parents, who
quivered with hoe when Albert Oak
ham appeared 4Mi the scene.
Alice waa one of those alhletlc girl
you know the kind. She was tall,
Stately. Murk eyed. No word regard
lug miilrliiiony had ever passed be
tween her and her young lawyer, He
felt that aspiring lo Alice wna like
crying for the moon and she hesltuted
to give hlai the encouragement which
would have caused him to overleap all
financial and social consideration and
seize upou the price regardless of con
sequence. Alice aixm besun to think
of lier young lawyer with a sigh to
regard III in aa something desirable but
Impossible and to accustom heisWf
to look forward lo being Mra. Alfred
Oiikhuin. Everything was going ac
cording to schedule aa things always
went wheo Albert Oakham acratched
his magic book, though pnmetlnic he
hud to scratch harder than usual.
Then all at once things begun to
go wrong. Through some misunder
standing whin Alice llrixlon was In
vited to a house party on l.oii Muiid,
expecting to meet Albert Onkham
there, Albert mil ml be Invited to a
house party In New Jersey and the
other way about. There were doxena
of other Utile things which seemed to
be kcplng them asunder or destroying
their harmony of Intercourse. Some
hidden, miilli ious llilliien.-e eeemed to
be at work. Albert Smke to Mrs.
Warchnm ubout It. Thfy were alone
In Albert'a library at the limn.
"Yes," suld Mis. Wareham. "It Is
aa you say ntid I am rexpouslble. You
promlKfd nie a large amount of money
If I would bring nbniit a marriage be
tween you mid Alice llrixlon. You
knew her affections were engaged
elsewhere and so did I. You were
afraid that If you plunged boldly In
and demanded Alice for a wife yon
would simply provoke her Into going
off and marrying her young lawyer
nut of baud. You wanted my skill to
bring about the result desired, and
were willing to pay for It. I have
taken inch contracts before mid have
not been particularly iikIihiiiciI. ! took
this one and became ashamed. I am
ashamed of my whole life of sliuin
aoclety and everything connected with
It. Next week I am going to begin aa
settlement worker. And I may as
well tell you that Alice tlrixton was
married to her young lawyer, In New
Jersey, yesterday and I wna present.
In ftict, I brought lliem together.
She arose and iturted to leave the
room, "lleyl Mure I Where are you
going?" cried Alfred.
"J am going home,'' replied Mra.
Wareham.
Tome back here; I want to talk to
yotij sit down," commanded Alfred,
She obeyed and they sat there talking
for over an hour. Three month later
aoclety was dtimfounded at the an
nouncement of Ilia marriage of Mrs.
Klorencln Warehnm, widow of the
late Zonus Warelinin, and Alfred Oak
ham. Kaq. - ' ,
The Jllljgii
KITCHEN & B
A Siamese kitten was recently found
.flouting on hatch cover' tCH) lullei
vtiiu Nwtier Uuiuii.i
Now bUsslnas llslit ob him thst
llrst tnvsnloil this ssnis slsil It
oovurs a man all ovsr, ilinuahis
and all, Ilk a clunk; It la mrst for
Hit hungry, drink fur tli Ihlrsiy,
hml (or tin oold, and ruld tor the
hiil. It I currant coin that uir.
rhsasa all His ilrsauras ot III
world chaap, and Hi balance thst
at la klna and th ih.iih.rd, the
fool end Ilia wis msa van,-'
Carvanta.
POOD FOR WINTER DAYS
Purlng the chilly early winter ilnyi
It la wise to have a stock tad on hand,
so tlmt hot soupi
nisy be a nniiy
fiHid, A moat d
llcloua meal, If III
evening meal ll
light, la begun
whli. some sort of
hot soup, cream
of at tick or vege
table,'
Chicken Warmeln.-Thla la a good
cold weather dish. Stew a nice fat
fowl In plenty of water to make broth.
When the fowl Is cooked remove It
and cut all the meat from the bones.
In the broth cook two or three hunches
of celery cut Into jminll pleceaj
when cooked remove the celery and
dd noodles, cook thein until done,
and llh ull the other thing kept hot,
serve a nest of cooked nondlce on the
dinner plate, cover chlrfcen and celery
with gravy mid serve with mashed h-
tnli rv S:ie enough of lender heartauf
celery and some of Hie white meat of
Hie chicken for chicken aalad. The
broth ihul in left may be served hy
adding cn-um and egg, making a most
iiourlnlilng soup for the nliilit uiciil, a
liny or (wo Inter,
Cranberry lee.--Cook a quart of
cruiilicrrles In a pint of water six in III'
ll I ex. St nil n through a cheesecloth
add a pint of augur and stir until ills
solved. When cool add the Juice of
two lemons and frecie to a mush.
Tills will serve a dr.cn.
CMcken ' and Green Ptpper land-
wleh. 1'arlMill fur ten minute green
iepier Willi seed and fiber jrn.oveit
Chop fine and mix with one cupful of
cooked Seasoned chicken, molalen with
majoniiulse. Spread thinly allced rye
bread with butter, Using lettuce and
the tilling.
Pressed Corn Bf 8ndwlcht.
Cook corn beef until It full In shred.
I train and arrange the shred length
wise with some uf the fut In a small
bread pan, Itediire the liquor In
which the meat wa rooked to one
and one-half cupful, pour ever the
meat, place a weight on It and let
stand overnight, t'linmld and slice In
thin slice, t'se t sandwich filling
with slices of Spanish onion dipped In
French dressing.
Sandwiches. .
Fur a cold night and a supper dish
there are a variety of hot aaiidwlche
to apiwsl ta the
appetite.
Hot Egg land-
yM0 svicn. s 1 1 c e a
0 small onion erf
thin and fry In a
little batter;
hen well caiked
add an egg, when
rooked to tsle
place on buttered breud with the
onion, cover with another buttered
slice and serve at um-e, seasoning
well.
Cheese and Herring Sandwiches
Work one r renin cheese and two ten
spoonful of beef extract to a blended
mixture. Skin and hone md finely
Ull nee fillet of herring, or those put
up In mustard may he used; there
should he an equal measure of cheese
and IImIi. Moisten with niiiyonnnl
spread slices of bread with the cheese
mixture nnd pre (he fish Into slices
of buttered bread; put slice together
lo pair.
Gingerbread Sandwiches. Cut gin
gerbrend Into three-Inch squnrea, split
and spread with cottage, checne that
bus been moistened with crcnir. and
well reasoned, tin the other square
place chopped preserved ginger or or
ii life iiiiirmaliide. I'ul together In
pair and serve with hot tea or cider.
Hungry Hunter Sandwich. Have
ready a round steak cut one fourth-
Inch In thli-kncHS, cut Into piece a
trifle smaller than the slice of bread.
I'ouiid the stenk with the edge of a
heavy saucer until the fiber la broken
and Die nicnt hardy tilings together,
drop Into a wcll-grciied hissing hot
spider and turn quickly when seared.
Cook until well browned, apread with
butler, sprinkle with snlt and pepper
nnd minced parsley. I'lnce on buttered
bread, cover with another slice and
mrve nt one. Serve Willi horseradish
If preferred.
8tmd Sliced Bread. Ittittor stale
bread nnd steam until hot, spread with
butler again and cover with Jam or
berries of nny kind. Serve with mgnr
and cTeniii.
Lobster Salad Sandwich, He.
move the meat from a freshly looked
lobster, nr If not at hand,
canned one. Finely chop and add
an equal quantity of chopped eel
ry una niie-fmirth the quantity
or nil rd cooken eggs. Moisten with
mnyonnnlse. Spread thinly allced
and buttered bread. Cut the aand
wlihea Into narrow atrlps. Serve with
tea at bridge parties.
Collage cheese well seasoned and
mixed with green pepper nnd chive)
finely mlncerj nuikei a dellclotia filling
ror annnwicnea,
If Back Hurts
Begin on Salts
flush Your Kidneys Oeoaslonally
by Drinking Quarts ef
Oood Water
No man nr woman ran make mis
take by flushing the kidneys occasion
ally, says a well known authority.
Too much rich food creates acids
which clog the kidney pores so thst
they sluggishly filler or strain only
part of tiia waste and polanns from
the blood, Then you get sick. Itlieu.
nistlsni, headaches, liver trouble,
nervousness; constipation, dlislneaa,
sleeplessness, bladder disorders often
come from sluggish kidneys.
The moment you feel a dull achs In
the kidneys or your back hurts, or If
the urine Is cbmly, offensive, full of
sediment. Irregular of passage, or at
tended by a sensation of scalding, be
gin to drink soft water In quantities;
also get about four ounces of Jad
Sails from any rcjlgblf pharmacy and
lake a talileapoonful In a glass of wa
ter before breakfast fur few days
and your kidneys may then art fine.
This fumoui salts Is made from the ,
arid of graie and lemon Juice, com
bined with llthls, and has been used ,
for years to help flush rlngged kid
neys snd stimulate them to activity,
also to help neutralise Hie acids In
the system so they no longer causa
Irritation, thus often relieving bladder
disorders.
Jad Salts Is Inexpensive snd esnnnt
Injure; makes a delightful efferves
cent llthls-wster drink, which every
one ran take now and then to help
keep the kidneys rlean and the Mood
pure, thereby often preventing serious
kidney complications.
Warning to AutoUti
A plan aimed at Impressing auto
mobile driver Hist they should op
erata their machine safely baa been
adopted at I'lttshurgu. I.srge white
rrosse are painted on dangerous
street Intersections of the city where
a number of fatalities have occurred.
A short distance from the cross Is
painted a large while figure Indicat
ing the number of people who have
alresdy lost their live st that par
ticular spot.
DEMAND "BAYER" ASPIRIN
Take Tsblets Without Fssr If You
Sea the Ssfety "Beyr Cross."
Warning I Unless you see tha nama
"Itsyer" on package or on tablets you
are Hot getting tha gonulne Itsyer
Aspirin proved safe by millions and
prescribed by physlclaus for 2fl years.
Bay "lluyer" when you buy Aspirin,
Imitation may prove dangeroua. Adr.
Sttam aa Fin Alarm
rounding of steam In the radiators
In the home of Issdore J. Abrainson
of I'hlladelpbla awakened him. Ha
found the bouse to be on fire. The
all members of the family were forced
to flee. The water In the besting
system boiled when the fire etarted
next to the steam pipes In the base-meuL
On th Othtr Hand
"He who laugh last laughs beat."
"Yeah, but he soon gets a reputa
tion for being dumb."
J.
ront
ickle?
The aiclutiv man
thol bland Soolhas -a
dry, Irrlutad, lnflan- eG
d Ibroate Ilk magic rw
LUDEN'S COUOM DROPS)
VOCf On" tpwimrm
fcOOAO lh, M1i, men,
mk ni.va i i
)K( all drna-irlaia.
AMoUulf Mia.
HALL MLCkSL, Htm York Oily
S2k
Try tbo New
Cuticura
Sbavind Stick
Freely Lathering
Medicinal and Emollient
DR. STAFFORD
niJVETAR
Uv for your
COLDSJ
asva Mimey ruaatraatfain, wrlla ua sbuirt
four l.ullilln ttriililama ami ImiirnvanianK.
liKlallea ilrawlnaa 'iirnKli-il. AiMrnaa, Hurai
Rnlnrln(, Bui 17, Chimin, III,
KINKADE GAM TRACTOR"
nd Power Lawnmowsr 7
A rrarocal Provan PosvarCul-
llvalorlo
anlln.1
atvintn.l
try l:iai
SMrniCAM FARM MACHINI CO.
IJUw-lJcd A.B. k., MluuMpolU, Mine.
rOardaiicrf, ubiitb- rfXfk-&
rrutkan.Flmlm,Nw-t7!er52Sk 1r
W. H, J., San Frsnclico, No. B0--1f ?&
at sea by a world cruiser.