Doctor! Say This
Prescription is
Good for Worn cn
. .
.(. .' , t. " ' . 1
Portland "I tliluk to well of Dr.
Fierce's Favorite Prescription a
woman 'i medicine that I take pleasure
in giving Ihil statement for publication.
One time I was in a run down and
nervous state of health due to weakness
and functional diiturliancet. I had very
little blood, lost in weight and got very
tlim and pale, I got where I could not
do mv work, I wai advised ly a doctor
to lake I)r, Pierce's Favorite Preserip
tion and it wat a life-tavrr to me, 1
grew lining and well, gained in weight,
my nerves were In good condition and I
never suffered any more (rom my
former trouble." Mrs, T. F. Crady,
?)i Vancouver Ave.
Your health it your moit valuable
asset. So, why not get tint Prescrip
tion today from your druggist. Write
lr. I'ietce, President of the Invalid'
Hotel in lluffato, N. Y, if you feel the
need of medical advice, free.
They "Ansletad"
Little Hilly RlKhy cam In from
playing with bla wee trousers torn.
Mr. Hlgby was much put out and
ai-oldi-d Hilly. "Well, mamma," be
aald, "The boy wanted to play bear
and thy Just snalated and analsted
that I be the bear, o they put me In
a barml and a big old nail sprang up
etui tore my pant." Capper's Week
ly. Couldn't Make the Grade.
Janl bad been taken to the borne
for feeble minded, but the doctor's
examination proved her merely sub
normal, o aba was snt bark (o the
orphan's home. Held Mamie to Anna
In a burnt of confidence. "Janle was
sent away to be an Idiot, but she
couldn't paaa and had to com back."
Pasturage In Marsh.
Itomney marali In Kent, England, Is
protectud by a seawall of great thick
Eras and the guardianship and drain
age of the swamp Is In the hand of
a apecUl ancient corporation. The
level lands afford pasturage for vast
flock of aheep which form the princi
pal Industry of this section.
, Remarkable Remarks.
I have rad many bad books, but
Done of them ever harmed m. I have
bard much bad conversation, but It
never harmed mo, most of It proved
a warning. It I fall Into a aewer, you
may be sure I wilt scramble out as
soon a possible. Bo will anyone.
K. W. Howe.
Storing Flour,
Under proper storage conditions
flour should keep entirely satisfac
torily for three months. Much of the
high-grade wheat flour Is kept for a
considerably longer period of time.
aven for a year or more, and such
flour is satisfactory for bread-making
purposes.
Power of Vibrations.
A Iloslon violinist says be can put
nut a fliimo with the vibration of his
fiddle. Ilut that's nothing. A saxo
phone slightly oft key can put out an
entire orchestra. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
A Common Feeling.
"Somo of us wouldn't mind reform
Inn," remarked the Man on the Car,
"but we wouldn't Ilka to have a re
former reform us." Toledo Blade.
His Dllsmma.
A beaten camlldnte In politics never
knows whether ha has a defeat to live
down or a moral victory to live up to.
Natural Question.
Diner (to the doorman as ha loaves
expensive restaurant) Er tell ma
la there any charge for going out 7
London Opinion.
You Want a Good Position
Vnry well Talis the Accountancy and
Ktiaineaa iHnu-nment, mvat Hcrtaji
1, Calculator, Comptometer, Htnorm
prlr, Hcntnanahlp, of Commercial Tih
err bourse at
Behnke-Walker
The forsmoat ttuatnaa Collets of the
North weet which has won more Accuracy
Awards and Gold Mortals than any otbor
eohool In Amarlu, Hand for our Hucoess
Catalog. Hour til Street aaar Morrison,
-nmna, nr. isuo m. waianr, tr.
P. N. U.
No. 17, 1928,
AHORSE
SOLD FOR
BEANS
By WILLIAM T. ELDRIDCE
(0( br Short Starr fak. Co )
W can Imagine old David Harum
chuckling over this Yank horas dsal,
whsre a sly old horas fancier sot th
"double-eroas" In a dsal that bs ax
psstsd to gat aomsthlng for nothing.
"rfCAN8r Questioned Deacon
- Brown.
I J "Benns," nodded 81 Burns,
In sgreeuiunt
The deacon stroked his whit
whiskers meditatively and eyed Mr.
Burns' cherubic face. Mr. Burns,
trader In all things where a dollar
was likely to change bands to Mr.
Burns' sdvsntuge, was known, at
times, to have a penchant tor prac
tical jokes.
Deacon Brown was a very sedate
person and never, knowingly, walked
Into a situation which would result
In his being made to appear ridicu
lous. Yet this offer to part with a good
horse, over which there had been a
dispute as to weight, appeared filled
with doubtful proiiortlona.
"You autd 'heuns'J" mused the
deacon, eying the placid beast
81 rubbed his round red cheek.
"Beans, Deacon," he admitted. "Of
course you may be able ter plrk the
heft of horse; I ain't snyiu' you
alu'L You ral'lat she'll touch eleven
sixty and quit right thnr."
"She won't go a mite over eleven
seventy," snapped the deacon, a trifle
Inclined to reseut the Insinuation that
he could be nilatukrn.
"You be climbing. Deacon eleven
seventy."
"lie's gettln' ready ter hedge,"
chirruped little Mr. llctts, who bad
wandered out from behind the notion
counter of his store Into the warm
aunshlne and closer proximity to the
argument
Tb shrill voice. Intended to be a
whisper, did not fall to reach Deacon
Brown's sharp cars, and be Bushed
the least bit
"Kleven sixty," he snapped. "I said
It and I stund by It."
Then," milled Mr. Burns, "I cal
lata ahe'll go Dor. And I'm so sot
oo think In' I rsn guess the heft of a
bursa that I'll take beans fur her."
Perplexity filed th watery eyas of
th pillar of th church.
"It's a queer way ter sell," b mut
tered. "Wall," suggested Mr. Burns, "yon
alnt obliged to buy."
But th deacon was anxious to buy.
As much a he feared trnps and
many had been set for him still ba
believed he could endure th rink of
being made to look ridiculous If he
might buy a horse and pay In beana
"llow'd yer put It BIT" b Inquired.
"You say she'll go eleven sixty. If
she goes eleven sixty-one you get th
mare, and I get on bean."
With the deacon's nod, titer cam
B gaap from th encircling villagers.
Mr. BetU looked at Mr. Jones; Mr.
Bluipllng, the hardware man, regarded
Mr. Cutler, th fishmonger; others,
with dubious beadahake turned, wide
eyed, upon their neighbors.
81 Burns was th last man to be
thought of as a foot But this prop
osition I
"If sb goes better!! sixty one T
frowned th deacon.
"If she goes eleven sixty-two yoo
get th mare and I get two beans
two pounds better'n you say, and th
bean fvr th fust pound doubled."
"Yes," agreed th deacon, growing
eager.
"If sb goea on pound better still
you pay four beans."
"And If she foe slxty-fnurt"
"Klght beans. Sixteen if sb goes
slxty-flv."
"You ain't trying to soli me no
balkcrT demanded the deacon, fac
ing Mr. Burns suddenly.
"You hsv tried her," answered Mr.
Burns. ,
Tlie deacon nodded and pondered.
Then he thrust his hands deep Into
his pockets snd drew a sigh as his
eyes considered the prlxe, as good
ss his. "SI Burns," he proposed, "I
sln't but wondcrlu' If you be gone
plum daffy, but I'll take yer."
"Yer church says something about
being yer brother's keeper," suggested
Mr. Burns, th merest smlla touch
ing the corners of his eyes.
In solemn conclave th deacon and
Mr. Burns, the mare following, the
village In attendance, proceeded to
the scutes.
Mr. Belts officiated, nicely balanced
the bar feeling the Importance of
th occasion and the mar was led
onto the plutform,
"Twelve hundred Jest," announced
the owner of th dry goods store.
Tb deacon's fac broudeued Into
ons expansiv srallei It was not so
much of a disgrace to miss by the
mer matter of forty pounds when,
to offset whut little chagrin he might
feel, came the ownership of good
horse for a few beans.
"Wall, SI," he chuckled, "you can
six 'cm up fur heft. But I ain't
kicklu' at yer bavin' the better on me
thur. I'll fetch down yer sixty beans
next time I drive 'in."
"How many?" mused Mr. Burns,
"Sixty?" questioned th deacon.
"On fur the fust," mused Mr. Burns,
two fur the second, four fur the third,
eight fur the fourth. Then sixteen
fur the fifth, and thirty-two fur the
sixth. Ooln' on, as was to be the way,
sixty-four fur the seventh, on hun
dred snd twenty-eight fur"
"Oh, wall," broke In the deacon,"
Til' male 'ft er bushel, 81, and that
will be a mite mora than' comln' t
yer by rights."
"Suppose we see on that," suggested
Mr, Burns. "Mr. Betts, en a w use
your store fur a moment?" '
(Jladly, Mr. Betts offered arcom
modutions for the settlement of s
question which seemed to have great
er possibilities than nuy of the at
tending crowd funded.
With paper and pencil Mr. Burnt
bent over the cleared counter. "Jim,"
he suggested, figuring slowly, "will
yer go In snd git s quart of beans
from TlbblnsT"
With th return of th messenger,
Mr. Tlbblus In his wuka, and all of
Mr. Tlbbln' customers, Mr. Burns
dumped the benns upon th counter.
"Count 'em, Betts, snd cast out the
broken one," and bs went back to bis
figures.
The deacon, resting one foot and
then the other, held silent as long as
possible,
"What In tarnation, 81, ba you
count In' a quart of beans fur? I'll
make It two bushels, and I cal'late
then you'll be gettln' niore'n you
should have comln' ter yer."
"So," mused Mr. Bunts; "wall we'll
see," and ha went on with bl grow
ing column of figures.
II was throtiuh with his task be
fore tb quart of beans was counted
snd meditatively his cigar turned
from corner to corner of his mouth
as b watched th flies on tb screen
door.
At last Mr. Betts drew a sigh. "I
ain't sayln' I'm jest right," be ad
mitted, mopping bla brow, "but them
are In piles of one hundred, and I
makes It three thousand, four hun
dred and alxty-two beana In a quart"
Mr. Burns nodded. "If th deacon
ain't objertln'," he suggested, "we'll
call It even three thousand and four
hundred."
"SI Burns," thundered the deacon,
"what has the number of beans In a
quart got ter do with this thlnT
Mr. Burns glanced up from his paper
to which be bad been adding more
figures,
"It means, deacon, that thar be
on hundred and eight thousand, eight
hundred beau In a bushel," he an
nounced. "Wall, I alnt sayln' thar ben't am
IT snapped the deacon.
"Which being th rase," went on
Mr. Burns placidly, "it means that
you owe me Jest about 11 v million
bushels of besus fur that thar mare."
Th deacon got his mouth open
snd bis eyes, but Do sound escaped
from him for a long moment With
him was the audience, sgape.
"Wbatr suddenly roared th dea
con.
"It was on fur th fust two fur
tb second, snd so on, doublln' each
pound," explained Mr. Burns, patient
Ah "At twenty pounds It comes to
fir hundred snd four thousand, two
hundred and eighty-eight beans, less
I've mude some slip. Kur th twenty
fust pound over eleven sixty It be
double that number which"
"Nothing of the sort" roared the
deacon. 1
Mr. Burns held forth bis paper,
and tb deacon grabbed It
With th aid of all who could get
within sight, Mr. Burns' figures were
gone over. Suddenly, the deacon
threw the paper on th counter.
"At two fifty a bushel fur beans.
Deacon, that thar mar stands yon Jest
about twelv million dollars," sug
gested Mr. Burns.
"You go to Jim jlckey," thundered
the deacon, and went out the screen
door, startling every fly on th wire.
"Say, St," Inquired a breathless
voice from th door, "what do yer
suppose th deacon will do? II left
th mar."
"I cal'late," mused Mr. Burns, "the
deacon will Jest as soon pay the flgur
I sot on her when he fust took a fancy
to her. Lest If he don't I dilate I'll
have ter tlo her out thar In tb square
as his property and ao label her."
"Yes," suggested Mr. Betts and Mr.
Tlbblns In one breath.
"Wall," mused Mr. Burns, "it could
be" and he wrote hastily upon a
piece of Mr. Belt's wrapping paper,
and held the sheet before him.
Those who craned their necks read :
Deacon Brown's Mar.
Sold for Beans.
Consideration five million bush
els, based on weight over eleven
sixty particular from anybody
at murket value. Price In cash,
twelv million dollars. Sold.
Sculptor'i Seal
George Julian Zolany says: "While
all sorts of scales and measuring sys
tems have been evolved at various
times, few, If any, modern sculptors
go beyond the proportlonul measure
ment by which the height of the hu
man figure Is divided Into eight parts,
taking the head as a unit, or ten parts
by taking the face as a unit Person
ally I prefer the latter because It ap
plies with accuracy to a large number
of fixed points of the body. The
length of the upper arm front shoul
der to elbow Is exactly two fuce
lengths, while another two lengths
give the accurute distance from the
elbow to the second Joint of the fin
gers, etc."
Sfars Mad Special Study
Th first photographs of stars ever
attempted In the United States were
made at the Harvard observatory In
law, and ever since the work has been
continued so that now the observatory
has a file of thousands of plates which
sre not duplicated at any other Insti
tution. This monumentul work lists
over 225,000 sturs, and gives their
brightness, position and spectral type.
New York Times. .... '
THE NEW
AFFLICTION
y DOUGLAS MALLOCH
BEHOLD her fixed snd glassy look,
Behold her wrinkled brow 1
How Was It reason thus forsook
The lady, anyhow?
Behold her pule and pallid face:
Her maddened gaz Is fixed on space.
What does she seek, and also why,
This lady wttb the glassy eye?
Around her are tb ones she loved,
But now she gees them not:
The little circle where she moved
It seems she ha forgot
For now th looks In manner wild
On what was one her darling child,
A child sb scare remembers now;
Ah, yes, what alls bar, anyhow?
How aad a reason, dlsenthroned,
When reason's light has died,
Alas, bow grievously she groaned,
How deeply then she slgbed.
Her gaze Is fixed upon th star,
As If she sought In realms afar
Tb author of sou awful doubt
I wonder what It's sll sbout? -
Behold ber fac, her empty face;
Intelligence has fled,
Ber maddened gaz Is fixed on space,
I wonder, ss I said.
Just what sb seeks where planets
whirl
I wonder Just what alls th girl?
Aha, I have It 1 I declare,
It's Just th cross-word puzzle stare I
kjr Mcciurs Newepsper Srodlcale.)
"If you wsr busy bslnf trus
To what you know you ousht te do,
You'd be so busy you d forest
rks bluadsrs of th folks you've
met"
THE UNEXPECTED GUEST
IT AMUSES most of as when we
read of tb efficient and capable
nouaewlfe who, confronted with unex
pected guests, goes to her larder and
greets a cold fowl, a bunch of crisp
celery and a Jar of mayonnaise, which
ah ulckly prepares Into a delectabl
aaJad. With rolls, coffee and pre
serves, ah acts before her guests a
most agreeable luncheon. Bow won
derful, when true, but the pity la, It
Isn't The fact Is, she Is more often
ootrouted with a dish of cold boiled
potatoes, a dried tomato "leaning hard
against It withered skin," and a
tough and world-weary steak, which
haa refused to nourish th family.
Anyone, efficient or otherwise, with
a well stocked larder, may produce an
excellent meal, but the woman who
has to start In from the vegetable eel'
lar and the flour barrel, to prepare a
meal and (till looks out cheerfully on
life. Is both an optimist and a genius.
Te fortify this optimism an emer
gency shelf Is Indispensable. Even
when th grocery Is Just srouud the
corner, It Is wise to have a well
stocked shell Each housekeeper will
stock her. shelf with the scceasorles
snd relishes especially adapted to her
.needs.
A few cans of fish, such as salmon,
sardines, tuna, lobster and codfish
balls, which may be used In various
dishes, hot cold or as salads.
, A few cans of vegetables such as
asparagus, string beans, tomatoes and
peas. A Jar of sslad dressing and
one of cheese, olives, pickles, a few
cans of soup of different kinds. Jams
snd Jellies and a few packagea of
crackers or biscuit
Two or three kinds of cookies stored
In air-tight Jara, a fruit cake to be
used on state occasion. With such a
supply, a cupful of tea, coffee or coco,
one may furnish many different kinds
of appetizing meals.
If fortunate enough to live In th
country with plenty of eggs, butter,
milk snd cream, on need never fear
a raid of unexpected guests.
(A 1IH, Wsatsrajlswspspsr UbImli
00H0
How It Started
By Jean Newton
STOOL OF REPENTANCE"
WE ARE familiar with this ex
pression In reference, to people
who are supposed to realize that they
have done wrong and who wish to be
forgiven or excused for their sin or
whatever mistake or misdemeanor
they may have committed. 4"Let htm
take his place on the stool of repen
tance," has often been said, "before
be expects consideration from us."
The saying comes to us from the
records of an old custom, current In
the Middle ages In Scotland. The
"stool of repentance" was a low stool
on which persons had to sit who had
committed so offense which brought
upon them the censure of the church.
Remaining en the stool throughout the
service, st Its conclusion the penitent
had to stand up and receive tb cen
sure of the minister for his transgres
sion. We are familiar also In common
speech, when the reference Is to a
person who Is a strict disciplinarian
or one who does not forgive easily,
that he or she "will mak you sit en
the stool of repentance fur that I"
tCserrlghl kr Tk Ball (radii).!, lasj
PHDTI Alin
wav J. sLir-jViisUr
Children, 10 cents Any Time.
Continuous 1 to 11 p.
W have a
wean iransDortauon thm .,,. y,
tf it .
Qtt
day or wsak.
FRANKLINS
171.00 AND OTP
ALL WORK GUARANTIED
Dundee Auto Repair & Machine Works
Th Oldest and Best Equipped Repair Plant In Oregon
Knat Water and Hnltnon Bt., Partland, Oron Rant V91
;VLINOER ORINDINO CRANK SHAFT GRINDING GEN. OVERHAULING
Hrr-t
L. -.to;"..
t
DROP IRELAND'S SANDWICH SHOP 'Whereto Eat
J. Bos LwKbc 2S snd 35 w- rrrprt'
FOLKS!
121 (tilth fin-ret
Best Horse Collar
Made
All long rye straw stuffed. 1
Insist on having th ooUar i
with th "Klah" Ubal. Hi
your dealer doae not handl i
this brand collar, writ to us '
P. SHARKIY A SON
61 Union Av.. Fortlan. Ore.
Dont Buy From Peddlers.
A school principal taking up a col
Icetlon for flowers from the faculty
walked Into the kindergarten of the
school. The principal had Just suc
cessfully solicited a donation from the
kindergarten teacher and was passing
out, when Johnny piped: "Teacher,
I wouldn't buy anything from that
man. Mother always says to buy In
the stores snd not from those ped
dlers."
Presidential Abode.
Following the attack apon the exec
utive mansion In 1814, It was painted
white, to obliterate the damage done
by fire. In popular parlance It was
soon called by Its now familiar name,
although officially It was known as the
executive mansion until Theodore
Roosevelt put the stamp of his ap
proval on the name "the White
House."
Methodist Pioneer.
The first Methodist preacher In
America was Philip Embury, who had
been In the Irish Methodist conference
before coming to this country In 1761
He found a number of Irish Metho
dists In New York city and gathered
them Into a email congregation that
held its meetings in hts house.
Paper Out of Data.
What once was known as "butcher
paper," the dark, heavy, brown paper
used to wrap up meats, is no longer
manufactured In any great quantity
in the United States. It has been re
placed by what Is known as "bogus
mantle." The old butcher paper was
msde from straw.
Simple Home Remedy.
For Matrimonial Heartache: A
lump of pride dissolved in a glass of
common sense. Bwallow Immediately
and settle with a kiss. Add a dose of
wholesome compliments. Repeat as
often as needed.
Fond of Their Coffee.
The native of Algeria takes strong
black coffee In the street, purchasing
the beverage from venders who boll It
over portable stoves.
Changed In Meaning.
"Rival" originally meant "one who
rtves on the opposite bank of the
stream." The word Is taken from the
Latin "rlvalls" and Is related to our
"rivulet."
Power of Love.
It there Is anything that keeps the
mind open to angel visits, and repols
the ministry of III, It Is human love.
N. P. Willis.
NORTONIA HOTEL
Ton Win Feel Bisht st Rons Ben
Sail mi Cea&al IsmasUi lake.
Excellent Cafe. Bpeelal Weakly
Rates.
Bus Meets all Trelna. Utk aad Stark.
PORTLAND. OREGON
PALACE HOTEL
44 Washing ton St., Cor. 12th at.
Earnestly solicit your patronage. Teu
will hav all th comferu of your own
ham. Very reasonable rale and prompt
and oourteoua aervtc.
Olv u a trial
AUGUST K Si ATX Manaeer
4 CHICKS
miV'JII blued tMtMl niulrr Hlnte KiitMYol
!!hr "Urn. stno our fiMuutle Wwld Bwortl
Slrsla Wh. I.5h..rue. IS ire. ran
Xfcr 'NWir ""'" sVtler ekleks, bttr
veliiae, better efrvlre. Free eslsli'S
QUEEN HATCHERY Jay Todd
I4SO ISTAvaHUS - SaATTLa
MARRY IF LONELY: Join "The
Successful Correspondence Club." Re
liable; Descriptions free. BOX 654,
OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA.
OFFERS A MARKET
for your PRonurp
VAUDEVILLE PICTURES
m. Portland, Oregon.
few solect car that are big value. Re
by.
Expsrt repairing and Storag by
Mats. Eves.
15c 25c
ANDERSON A RICK MOTOR SERVICf
otter Franklin Service
402-1 Hon St. at Ninth. ForUanS, Or. Bltoadway 1701
ORECON'S FINEST BEACH RESORT HOTEL
Moderate Ratsa. Varltd Amusement
TWO COLF UNKS.
SF.AStnP. HOTEL SEASIDE. OREGON
PORTLAND, or V!5 WaihlnatiM Street.
CUT FLOWERS I FLORAL DESIGNS
Clarke Brosw Flortata, x7 Morrison St.
WE BUY
Hides, Pelts, Wool, Mohair,
Tallow, Cascara Bark
Horse Hair.
SaaS as rour shipments. We mail roe check
tka asiBs oajr we receive ssoda.
Portland Hide a Wool Co.
im Wsss Amsf stars, fiaiuae, sarsaa.
Oangerl
The six most dangerous foreign
game animals are the African lion, the
African buffalo, the rhinoceros, the Af
rican elephant, the man-eating tiger
of India and the Indian leopard. Col
Theodore Roosevelt considered the
lion the most dangerous game of all.
The grixzly bear is held to be the .
most dangerous American game ani
mal Credentials.
Football Coach (to applicant for
place on team) "What experience
have you hadr Applicant "Well
hut summer I was hit by two autos
and a truck." Boston Transcript
Superfluities.
A Chicago doctor aays that colds
are due to modern luxuries. There Is
nothing that most of us would more
willingly dispense with than these
widespread maladies.
The Drawbacks.
The two great drawbacks to the
happiness of the motor tourist are the
billboard and the board bill. The
New Yorker.
BE
The world is a playground
for those who are healthy.
Nature knows the way to
health. Take Iiarkroot Tonic
Feels Much Improved.
"I hav ben In poor health for some
time, system generally run down and
aurrerlna; with sever ronetlpstlon. On
m-ommendatlnn I tried your Hnrkrout
Tonic, and after uln two boll lea I
began to feel Improved In every way."
MRS. MINNIE CAMPBELL, Portland.
For Sale by All Druggist
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y i R is er l?
Your Health Demands HI
M
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I. DEAN. M D.Inc
POHTIANO OFNCM; SEATTLE OFflCtt:
Dr Daan Bulllflng sos-sil Sln BuiMme
S TM AWCLMAIre 6TM Am O PINC
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t