The Ione independent., August 28, 1925, Image 4

t
FOR WHAT, INDEED
Tortaw! I'm-tawl Come hcoiili i
wencel" cried the Kngllshwnmnn fn:
the carriage window, In that vs
fwated aceeat that the Scots cnnmt
stand the tn;ln was at Aberdeen mil
Hon.
"What d ,antr nsked the red
headetl little Scottish porter.
'Tortaw I I've lost my liiKKftfre!"
"Then" striding away "for what
wad ye be wan::u' a porter?" Londuu
Evening News,
Thote Sweet XVordt
The presumptive bridegroom had
brought his presumptive slster ln-lnw
(aged live) bar of chocolate.
"See how good Edwin Is," said his
fiancee.
"He's not only good he's better."
Hotter? How do you moan?
Wit
CECIL NEWS ITEMS
BRAINLESS
It Is told of a certain school pro
fessor that a girl student once ns:.ci!
him whether poroxMing the hair Is in
jurious to tlie hitiln. '
No. ivnlicil tlm iir.itWir i
- ' i
Mi, "and Mrs Bennett Lor an cf
Well Springs spent Sumluy wit!)
Mr, Loifan's brother, Leon L0.41 v
nt Kour Mile. ,
li.'zel Dean of Four Mi.'
brought the fiist lo d of wlie: i
into Minor and Hyud's wnrel.ni: i
at Ceti on Thiirstiuy.
'f. D an ami i!i in R,u nt'M.ii't,
of Four Milf, are bi sy liauli p
their wheat to Cecil.
"Well. I hnr.l fnt I...- I .,11 ...... I. ... Hvi.lv
, ......u muni .V-l. IH'Mllt'l " "'
that he was better tluin nobody p "Why, I've heard It is," (.aid i! ;
Tat. la n...Al.. ! nlnl.,.1
THE KNOWN FACT
student.
'".No," rcix'ntcil the ni'olVsscr " s
person who.peroldeK the hair li:';,'!
anv Drain to In lure. - -I.it l.n Til i..,
His Alias
"Well, we fooled the cops all ri ' i
that time."
"I'll say we did. When they raw
In, I did like yen said."
"Great. You didn't fcIve your mia
name, ehf
"Not on your life. I gave 'em voum"
Ohio Slate Sun Dial.
HIS BEST EFFORT
Wine They say It takes nine tailors
to make a man I hope that Isn't so I
in your rase.
Hubby I can't say; but I can tell
you for a certainty one dressmaker
can break me.
Stripping Gear
When umi fool woman driver strips
the years,'
Raid mean old Rip,
"If It la not my wife, I tblnk that It's
A comic strip."
f ,..Z-S
Added Attraction
"ney!"
"Welir
"Tills acreage you sold me for my
ubdlvisloo Is under four feet of wa
ter." "Advertise It as the Venice of your
section. Nothing could be more at
tractive than that"
Innocent Child
"Elsie," said her mother, "I hope you
never say anything at ttie neighbors'
about the quarrels between your papa
and me."
"Oh. no, mamma." returned Elsie. "1
never do. But when you are pleasant
to each other I always mention it."
Call Webster
pardon, are you a prizefight
er?" "I'm a pugilist not a prizefighter.
I suppose you're one of them re
porters." "No. I'm a Journalist." Washing,
ton Cougar's Paw.
"And the novelist said lied la ili'
Ish more than four feet lonj",
"That's the best bit of romuiu'e lie',
gotten off so far, 1 suspvcL"
Taken Too Seriously
Much d.'iputmion lmii) and fin
la eeir-promotion chut.
War ran t tliey mark It ADV
And let It go at thittr
Mrs. Georiro Krebs and sons t
i't e Lt Camp" and Mrs.L. .
I'ur.k and daughter, Mia (Jei il
line of "The Curtiss Cottaire".
wei'i vis i !iiu it; lone on Friday.
Mr. and Mrs. Clifford I).vn..i
)f Verr.oria, u.iiv.'t! a", "Willow
riik -ai. eli t ,'i S:uidi.y and u
is t fur a ft w iIhvs with M
Davison's parent.-). Mr. und Mn.
M. II. Chindl.r.
Mrs. T. 11. I we and son I', b
)f Cecil, visi ed with Mis. C.n.
. Miller at "lliKhvitfw" .
Jan iuy.
Cecil Lieu..n i , of IVndleien
nt a i a v a with her )i,r
nts. Mr. j iv M'. J,. llyn iot
Htitierbv Flals'"vhile hesi t: -
una wUs icokinit up spee. ns
te., i:i Un en , u cuty
l:. K. Walker. R.-a! Ki'.a'e A!.
f u i.ston, Oregon, . n in rt
)f friends made a short eall in
Ce:i: on Wnim Hay, of, e
vay to look over ueveT.t wheal
anfhes that ari on the maket
i M ) r)v I'o'i ,i ,
LEXINGTON ECHOES
Mra K r' H' aeh nnd ponp,
Lawrence Laurel dime to
Filol Uo. k Sunday, They were
aconipanii'd by Mia. W. 0. Scott
who renn.iued inl'tlot Kock for a
visit.
Mrs Mi ry Walker whom Le.
iiiKton ki'.-w aa a jjirl was bore
Ironit'en ellon last week I or a
visit among old time friemlH.
Elmer Slocum and son La v once
drove to Ilerniiston Sunbav. They
returned iy way of Arlmut ui.
Mr. and Mis O.U. Down have
returned to their homo Meiibtane
Canada i iter a visit with the
family ol i.W. Cuulorth Mrs
Djvmi isaawteroi MrCuis'onh.
FARM I'OINTEKS
Liminjr the soil eontiitnitcs to
Ihe ef!'ielicne,y of umniire. Italho
protects Inoculation itn.i Htihsttin
Iwlly adds to tho Chpacily of the
Imct 'tin nnd plants to utilize free
utniostpheric nitroKen, reporls
the experuient station,
In iiretfntinir potatoes, the
averauo amount of water Kivinn
most po ntaue rp,n'f,,in many
years experm nts on the atation
ffoundsat (Inrvallis 3.7 incht's
per aoer. ihe total wat.r
consumed, inrludinjrwt'i am! tain
water, wfl 5 tneiM the nvcniK-e
vield was ; i t. bimhe's
mm
poi.nl of dry mutter produced.
.Mr. and Mrs San ford (Ir-en, j nt " water ..oia of f.C") pouuda of
form r Li xinwion rsidense, are , total water consumed to tin.
here from ;alem for a vi.iit ainon
..: i.. ... i m . .. i
lis iin e iii.i-h. ill n. i, I'i'ii
isusi.,terl.nu,ha.ut.h..:siefll l''-' h the ( eK,,n
. . . Btatioui slronsfiy indicate thHi
Mrs. H ui Mc MiiUn und t un i stiller an ehpcialv citieni
John llobert. accomnai.itii i,v . elemeni in ei.oi ,i.
. i i . .
.itrs Jim i. tcnie oi Mtiem nun.'!
Duty
It U lliy duty efientlmei to ! t l.-.i
rl.i.ii imiiIiIi not; thy duty, too, to
h ne undone what tlioti noiihl.i it.,
I T! "n; a'Keiupls.
DISTILLED WATEx f!
. . r:
We make it.
We sell if.
We guarantee it
to be genuine.
4vNM..-UaV.ltts
.'! I- " "" '
The UNIVLKSirY of OHEGON
tintaln!
The C.'ltge of l.lteiiituio, S.lcnte
niij the Alia wiih 22 uVrtmcnt.
The laufcwliiiial kIukiIii ol Artlil
trluic and Allied AiU huslntwi
Admlnbliinluli tdiKlillolt (lllul
iii. te Si ud j .loiti nnlisni Law
MuIh ii c -Muik I Sj.ili.al tde-
fjr a attaining ur ant) information
u1il Th KrlHtrat, VimMiutQ of
C'CJOlt, .l,'i',ll, On JuM
Hie MiMSTrtfrabH 24. IS
Ancient Cut!.rJra!$
"Ihere nr.. m f.-wer I linn iv riillie.
HhiIx iiihI one li'irgh III M oil.iinl ui. n
I'lltl III llll I, IV l l'ilm il y, ,,, f
,.'l ,...l! . ... fx!.if
Hall's Catarrh MciMdn.
that only h' amal! amimn i ..Th0"l i.wh0 mn ,,n " om,i.
i (MtiiniM I ..,n w o mitf-a tlmf l'afat-.-l. I..i ... ...
rmirh mom than whn tl y art in .!
hralih. This fact prnv. i thai' Mia
Catarrh la local dlaraai-. It la rri
Inniirticail by onullliiilon I ivini!iii.ii i,
M rTlililt lllllini u u a
I ' "v ii i iuiii rimii.lii.l Trwiiinfiil, bnOi loral :md In-
Mr. an.: Mr,, h ranis Mir K.-ra! I,ttl" mJnr " '' ". t . SXW, T.nSrL Vi2
lOVV r nT " nnissiais.
r . j. t iinnvir w ToUa. Ohio.
tieeisnir,. Vie!.fI il(tVt. j,
ed Irom I' ii V. lis to Lexington oil
l' .: i s i .
friends. ? ' 1 1 ' T ""'7 . "'!"
Oil .Mill) . r, t v ,
wit i Ihi ir sens drove to u: in m
Fniiay all r a inimJer of w. . ks
spent in Lexington.
llariald i nd Derrald Cax I. ft
Mondav for llmd IvIVer where
they w :'i H iMi.in cu i'iy I ma
season.
Leonard J Hunk) Ale i, .n. 1,11
ivt.I Monday t-vhim; from I'oit
land where he has heen iccu v
mi medical treatnuMit for an in
;ureb hand,
Mr. ami Mrs., Vim Van Wink.e
are l.ur iioiu Ir to u akt
'heir homo Jr l-UIsons unci..
Mrs. WO. tinl enj.i. fd a
short vicit in I'ordan J this wtik.
Attentioji Fs;:mers
I . DON'T
AND THEY MEAN TO BE $
Kain a.iJ snrv wa er wou!J de pure if
they didn't pass through miles of contam
inateJ air to get here.
Dullard's Pharmacy
Distillers De Lux
H ILL. Casoy, Fauilry rpicial-
y hat from U.A.C. uiatkiiiu in
ft .Conjunetioii wah County Ak tit
, Alorse, delivered uniiiterestms
and instructive lectuie ut the
J.-rali VV'iii.tj CnicKen Kai.c.i ti
t'h'jisday aftenioon.
Aliiee Mc Kay of liln a Creek
Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Calson u
Goose li.-ny, Mr. and Mrs. At.
Minor, Dr. and Mrs. F en 101
B-rt Stone of ileppuer, Mr. bin
Mrs. Jo Dine Irom there ranei
north of Ltxintoii, an t a numb
er 0. Leonid Irom I .i,.
vere pres nt to liear the Cabi
lecture.
Mother Boys will be boys, mv ih-nr;
but girls should
Modern Daughter Should he bins'
toot
Lighter Than Truck
This monument's
For Jackaon lrurk;
Ma Lltila was IlKhter
Than tha truck.
41
n
i'-.0 ri r r
K A . MIS i n .1 . h
With
7
1 UKCJ
!4T
11
L
Tintt in Stocks
"Tint thes securities ur bordered
In green."
"Well, madumr
"All the llnHnclul wrlti.ru nrifo r,o..r.i.
to stick to gilt-edge stuff." LotilMVUla
tounur-journul.
A Matter of Color
"So Jack Itlehl.lgh trlnl hurd t
kiss you lust night ami you didn't
know which way to turn?"
"No; I didn't know whether bs pr
ferred a t lushing girl or one wh
wouldn't Blame 'Em
Kind l.ady (gazing nt a fellow la
fi'lege hospital) I'oor fellow. Too
iiiimi have been through Some tight
UlleezeS.
Mck tsd Welt, the nurses hsre
.n pretty good to me. Washington
'ougur's I'sw,
for the Inde
pendent is
-NOW-
teat
Once just a Summer necessity Now
. if , ...
unsurpassed loraJi-yearcoOking!
THE modern oikookttove,
with iu wonderfully effi.
dent speed-burners, perfected
ovens and broiler heat con
trol SiniDlicirv nf nart
f ----- - r i
gives you city cookstove service any. ,
hcn, and the vear-Wy Nln
- ".-.'j
nres to tend-noisele s, simple, saftt
But remember there', a , A,(r.
ncs In kerosene and that the efficiency
of your oil cookstove depends very
largely on tha kerosene y ou use,
''Pearl Oil" means the "trst" oil
for oil cookstoves and heaters. It is
refined and re-refincd that's why it's
cleaner-burning, delivers flame that's
all htai and why it uxt't corrode tha
metal
H f'0Ur '' coo,ts,ove ttie utmost
. ri be wnrvou order "Pe irl nil" u . 1
f - " vs J J nurrtm
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(CJi(rrui)
PEARL
OIL
(KEROSENE)
is
if
A?
HEAT
and
LIGHT
Mr. a:id Mm. J.F. Lueaa. Mi
an J Mra. Earl ijiuieutau injoyv.
1 few day a of camp lite at li.iu .
.lUiiiiKS during tue w-i k.
Mr. am! Mrs. Ha ik l'a ker l a.
r lUiIllli Iuiiii tt p.....i..iil B.i.j
a nohK lnenUaui liiuii a .
L4rclifj lieany Iiiudj a bun.
ue a trip to ti imndoii uu.. tut
pa, ..1 ,
'' N !., j ..,.,. . , ,,
... m ; 0,. a . . , , 1; ( .
r j 1 1. , o
C ii- lii a II t C u,i .11. . .. ..i .
- 1 - 1 1 : 1 I A
.i !H S'-H ... , t ... 1 .
1 11 1 ar.diiiij ii h ,
Pt.:.l'..-.i,tlal r a'.itli'ood
I 11111 loi- I .miauling ihi. iiiuii.Hjiii.ri.
vlieii I suapeii Hull fiilsehooil. like
pmlllenie, biTuilies around me. Cur
lyle. , It Grows Hair
or Your
Money Back
Thouaandt o f
women ar grow
ing new hair and
putting an end to
scalp ailments
with the now Van
Eaa m t h o d ol
treatment. Van
Eas Liquid Scalp
Manage mukei it
sculp proper car and to have a
hend of abundant and glorious hair.
Tha rubber nipples on tlis patent
applicator feed the treatment di
rectly to the hair roots and at the
same time gently matiags the scalp.
Aik us about our money back
90-dny Jlrenlment plan. we give
you a poiitive guarantee. .
When you come to know that vour
fuel is almost gone.
; It pays to investigate fuel prices at
THE FARMERS..
When you arc in need of fuel at reas
onable prices
See Us.
ermcr's Elevator Co.
lone, Oregon.
mm
f
Her Beautiful E
T -T.!l Ian..
VCauifful eyes! they an
mm
1 1 1
3
w
LI ' I -'i ,w
nine iUty Am
.u. u lv IIL
On the violet's bloom when
A J 111" Jl. 131,1 Wf
And the tyjit of Uicir bvc a die ilcam of tfic sun
Ucr the meadows cf Spring w here tlic quick
a . auuuuws run.
5 Uic morn slut ts the tm'sf s and (he cJou Js
fn o T ,. , fromUicsWeh
yrl ol5tandinicdawnol!crbeiuh"ful eyes.
WXa hbcatitjjiJl eyes nres mid-day to 1
(? when tlie lily-bell bends with the
w A.jA.,t.......w,:l'",.H'eui . .
HMa 'a 1 iniwroJ U1C nishi5fl-pul5c in thchcat,
V V"c, H'S -5vn5CS, ,lrc oruCf 'wi with the subtle 67s-welk
I AnilHn ii-ii.L (.,.-.1!,. rt.- -... I. .11-1 rT.
r i "'"-"'uuouicout3ui uieuirs iUiiaDICS ' VJ
rA'a ill I uu : 1 m-c 1
& : v w 1 .ill 1 nwt hiii 111 iiit'iifiririni nt7P f.iiTti. n m j
vfeM -l her bcaudtul eves! Hiey haroe sm'nion VA
H IV H V 1 f 1 M a 1 a a 111,
nv''Vi-' mIncon
1 w a iiiviy idineu uuwii irom me fyarc
Andlrecl. and lfaltcr and fall, as afar
M the shepherds that looked on the mystic
Miayeioazca in
; 11
V
ircr ana tail, as ajar NW
lat looked on the mvsticalStaK J1
f ip fidinci that UxA tlf
- ihi oy a a mj ij 1. -a a: a at a a
So I grope throTiMle nlht of her U 1 1
iii:uuii