pa or. rom
TIIK G A ZETTK-T1MES, HEITXER. OREGON, TIITRSDAY, JUNE 15, 1922.
IM1EIIES
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It, H'i'l'er Tlm Ktbllhd
Nvt crater li. lk7.
Cui.mUi'Ulcd Ktruary 1&, 1911
rubl.ni.ert vtrv Thurftday mornlnff bf
n trr mm4 Sprmrrt Cranfwr
n4 liter! at the i'oatottlcc at Hepp
nr. u.Koo ht eeconl-cULM malltr.
AI B1HT1MM1 RATKS G IT B H OH
At'l'Lllll
BUUSCRirTlO.N RATES:
Ot. Tar ..
tlx Mmuh.
'ihre MunUit
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this country. One may not profess
adherence to the predominate form
of religion in America unless he ad
heres to pretty well defined ethical
questions. Preaching the gospel ne
cessitates the exposition of mora!
teaching quite as much as it does
the exposition of theological doc
trines. Bootleg brew and Christian
ity are, and should be very wide
apart.
MOHHOU lUl VI V OFFICIAL PATER
r aj....b.i,
THE AMERICAN PRE.SS ASSOCIATION
There's a Limit to Everything
There is an element of humor in
Lady Astor's request that America
assume the role of Good Samaritan
among nations. This is something
like asking Ty Cobb and Babe Ruth
to take up baseball as a business.
No nation has so consistently played
the Good Samaritan to the world as
America has in the last seven or
eight years. If there is a certain re
luctance now to continue in the role,
it is because the highway along
which the Good Samaritan was wont
to tender his kindly office is so un
safe that he would soon need oil and ,
wine to bathe his own wounds. The ;
thieves along the road no longer dis-!
tinguish any difference between their ;
customary prey and the conveyor of :
first aid, but sandbag everybody they ,
come to.
What Lady Astor probably intend-'
ed was a plea that America might
keep on playing the angel. She
might have better asked Europe to :
wake up and begin to help herself
instead of eternally panhandling and
passing the hat. We went through
the war, ourselves, and sent armies ;
across the ocean, and expended bill- j
ions, but are not snivelling about it1
and pointing to the patches upon our J
pants and bruises upon our anatomy.
A turtle lives four or five hundred
years, but who in blazes wants to be
a turtle. What has he eot to live for.
anyhow. Now they have some sort
ot dope to make people live 150
years, but we have some doubts as
to whether we want to hang around
here that long or not. Life gets to
be pretty much of a chestnut after
one gets so old he can't chew any
thing but the rag.
Radio Think Waves
H. C. L. coming down. Cucumber
ache is now only 10 cents.
The best thing about life is the
living, if you live right.
There are two pains about dentis
try the operation and the price.
If you have your flivver paid for
the next will be a radio set.
. People getting a photograph taken
iook like they were sitting on a tack.
tarn your bread by the sweat of
your brow, whether it is high or not.
A bath, shave, square meal and a
$5 bill makes the world look brighter.
The jail clock is slow to the fol
low that gets in for speeding.
The summer stiff straw hats are
as comfortable as gravel in a shoe.
The devil is so busy here he don't
get home to hell very often.
The Genoa conference finally did
agree to adjourn.
Among the list of accessories is an
airdale on the running board.
Here lies the body of Joseph Zorn,
Who made one sad mistake.
He trusted to his motor horn
When he should have used the
brake.
Chas. H. Latourell and wife re
turned home from Portland Friday,
having spent several days in and
about the metropolis, visiting with
relatives and friends. Mr. Latourell
drove to the city from Boardman,
where he is getting his new service
station fitted up in fine shape. Be
sides being in a position to furnish
the people of that section and the
traveling public with gasoline, oils,
and all Ford parts, Mr. Latourell is
putting in a fine soda fountain in
connection with a confectionery,
which is in charge of an attractive
young lady, and all wants in this line
can be promptly filled. All this is
Chautauqua Season Tickets
Only four hundred forty adult sea
son tickets have been placed in the
hands of the ticket committee. If
you desire a season ticket at the low
rate, do not delay, but have your
ticket reserved for you at once. You
may pay for it at any time up to noon
of the opening day. Phone your or
der to Haylor, Phelps Grocery Co.,
Humphreys Drug Co., Fountain of
Sweets, H. A. Cohn, Case Furniture
Co., Sam Hughes Co., Patterson &
Son, Thomson Bros., Minor Co.,
Mrs. L. G. Herren, Hotel Patrick, or
any member of the Committee.
It is said that what we eat, we are.
That being the case a lot of us had
better let up on the prunes.
Slats' Diary
By Ross Farquhar
Friday Pa got a letter frum his
cuzzen witch is a girl out in New
Hamshire. She is
-MfTj j u s l recovering
I l -fc 4 frum a divorce
'nil
:rvSrj' parted for money.
I' Sat. I dont be-
iCase in witch she ;
was the Leading
lady and win outj
by a nice big Ali-j
money. Pa saysi
she marryed for I
love all rite but
4 kids for sum thing
that they havent
J done. Like for in-
L. 4 stant when there
jtiamMutmi Pa informs them
got to go out and
hoe in the Garden and they go and
commence to dig up a lot of fat fish
wirms and disside to go a fishing,
witch was what I done. And got
whaled for it.
Sunday I gess I must of cot a
cold wile out fishing yesterday for
I sure got a good 1 Today and I dont
no of enny thing more discomforable
than a cold in warm and Swetty
wether. A specially when you hav
vent got a Handkercheif on you.
Monday Jakes brother brot his
Fiddle and cum over to are house
to show us how he cud Play. Pa
sed he has red where they was a
awful lot of murders comitted in this
state but when they heard this Gink
play he was of the Decision that they
has ben one to less, after all.
Tuesday Unkel Hen has went
away on a Visit and when he put
up at a Hotel in the City the 1st
nite the clerk ast him did he want
a private bath and he answered in
reply that was the only way he ever
tuk a bath out home.
Wednesday Stayed out of skool
on acct. of sickness today. The tru
ant offiser has got the Grip. Went
fishing and just as we started home
the teecher past us and waved her
hand at us in a ford. Trubbel is
Like a bed so easy to get into and so
hard to get out of it. I dred tomorro.
Thursday Them who attended the
World war hassent nothing on us
kids witch goes to skool. This has
ben a rotten day for me. What are
teecher dont no about punishment
cud be ritten on a muskitos toenale
Why do they call it shortcake? It
is not the cake that is short but the
berries.
Religion Demands Morality
We hear many who are inclined to
look lightly upon the prohibition law
frequently make remarks to the ef
fect that the churches and preachers
re altogether too active along such
lines of endeavor; and that the pul
pit is no longer used to preach the
gospel but to propagate prohibition.
If such utterances are intended as a
protest against participation by
churches and ministers in the agita
tion over the wet.and dry issue, they
do not amount to much. Theoretic
ally there is no necessary logical con
nection between religion and moral
ity, yet really there is a very great
deal of connection between them in
Notice to
Farmers
FOR PROMPT ACTION WRITE TO US
FOR APPLICATION BANKS. WE LOAN
ANYWHERE FROM $5,000 TO $25,000
ON FARMS, AT
located in an attractive new build- fY
ing on the highway.
Richard McElligott, retired farmer jsa
i of the lone section, spent a few days ; zss
this week in Heppner, looking after ss
business affairs and enjoying a visit
with the otd-timers. I EE
FARM WANTED Wanted to
hear from owner of a farm for sale.
Give lowest price and ful particulars.
L. Jones, Box 551, Olney, Illinois.
li!i!!!ilil!!li!i!!i!!!i!!!i!!!!!i!illli!!lllll!!i!!lili!!i!ll!illi!SIO
Central Market 1
(B
Per
Cent
NO BROKERAGE OR COMMISSIONS CHARGED
LOANS RUN 32 YEARS
IF DESIRED
WHY YOU SHOULD ACT QUICKLY
1st. Federal land appraisers soon will be in the
Morrow county territory.
2nd. Our charter limits our loans to a specified
amount and applications filled as received.
Address Communications to
OREGON WASHINGTON
JOINT STOCK LAND BANK
Broadway and Oak, PORTLAND, ORE.
Thomson Bros.
Now is the time to see our complete line of
Wash Goods
in voils, crepes, ginghams and all the most up-to-date
wash goods on the market.
We Have Shoes For Everybody
Ladies' Low Shoes $4.00 to $7.00 Infants' Shoes 50c
to $2.00. Children's and Girls' Shoes $2.50 to $5.00
Boys' Shoes $2.50 to $5.00.. Men's $4.00 to $8.50.
Boys Suits $7 to $12.50; Mens Suits $20 to $35
Those Leather Vests Reduced $8.50 to $12.50
Odd Wool Pants at a Great Saving
Khaki Pants $2.00, $2,50, $3.00. Button and Lace
Bottom Pants $3.00 to $5.00.
YOUR MEASURE TAKEN FOR A SUIT OF
CLOTHES THAT WILL FIT.
NO TROUBLE TO SHOW YOU GOODS
r n& i
tewli 22" The KOHLER ' Jm
IxStly SEE. Automatic POWER UK
FIV: end LIGHT Plant iV
M requires no tt attae jNpT j
Z&fflA4f hai capacity of 1 SOU watU or fc J 11
I J1LHJ11 I two electrical horsepower F VAijr .?'''iir' l-'V f P
it Write for illustrated literature. fcl i 'il'fi' t H
AlDerS a Come in and let tho plant ia tf J rtl f j
Quality the cper"tion WyM 1
g hottheS Cohn Auto Co. I ff 1
ffoleprc&f W
MASON
I CORDS jjl
I Not only lower than other standard tires, but super- P
I ior in quality, uniformity and dependability. If mmmmmmmmmmmimmjS!!mmmmml h
Buying MASONS now is buying tires right. With S g
I ',. . , , . , , , Yi T TOLEPROOF is the hosiery of lustrous beauty and fine texture R
I this goes a standard of service we re proud of. U that wears s0 we is not surprising, therefore, that it is
I I selected by many people who can afford to pay far more for 3
I ALSO C their hose, but who prefer the Holeproof combination of style and 13
I H serviceability at such reasonable prices. P
OLDFIELD "999"
Obtainable in Pure Silk, Silk Faced, and Lusterized Lisle styles for P
I ' J men, women and children in the season's popular colors. Ea
I 30x31, $9.00 30x3, $8.00
f V HOPPFR TIRF WOP Sam HugheS ComPany I
I t. V. nUiiilK IIKe. jHUi I PhoneMa I
I WHERE YOU1 GET REAL TIRE SERVICE Emnmmmmmmmsm
Ty c
S3
FRESH AND CURED MEATS
Fish In Season
Take home a bucket of our lard. It g
is a Heppner product and is as g
good as the Dest. .
ttittw
CHEAPNESS is not the
tesl: of Value----VALUE
is the test of
Cheapness.
Quality Counts
LLOYD HUTCHINSON
Where (
They
LEAN
LOTHES
LEAN
thttiiiiii'ft'''l'l''l'"lll"ll'"lll"'''l'l'l'"''ll''1'''tttmt"'11'll"t'ttt1
Satisfying Hungry Folk
Is Where We Shine!
It koeps us busy, of course, but that's what we
are here for. We try to satisfy all tastes and all
pockctbooks. Contented folks in Heppner will tell
you tliis store is just chock full of good things to eat.
Strawberries
CANNING BERRIES IN ABOUT A WEEK
Just bring us the market basket and we will
guarantee to fill it with good things to eat at fair
prices to both of us.
PHELPS GROCERY
COMPANY
PHONE 53
Make this store your headquar
ters during Chautauqua Week.
cNtke to Holders of
Viftory Loan Ootids
The Secretary of the Treasury has call
ed all 3 Victory Liberty Loan Notes
for redemption on June 15th, 1922, and in
terest on the 3 Victory Liberty Loan
Notes will therefore cease on that date.
The Secretary of the Treasury has also
authorized the Federal Reserve Bank of
San Francisco to purchase on or before
June lf)th, 1922, a limited amount of 4
Victory Liberty Loan Notes, direct from
holders, at par and accrued interest.
Kindly call upon us, if we can be of as
sistance, cither in the redemption or pur
chase of any of these bonds.
Fir National Bank
HEPPNER, OREGON