THE GAZETTE-TIMES, HEPPNER. ORE., TIirRSDAY, JUN'E 8, 1916
"la PAGE THREE?
jusff BEST FROM "JUDGE" I '
In all he World
no other hose
like Holeproof
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T .a i ....
Years of study have maris
Holeproof Hose silky, soft
and light in weight. And
you may enjoy all these
features with economy.
Six pairs of cotton Hole
proof are guaranteed to
wear six months without
holes, three pairs of silk are
guaranteed three month.
If any fail within that time
we replace tnem
free. Yet In our
years of experi
ence over 90
have outlasted
this famous
guarantee.
Holeproof JJosierg
Holeproof, with all their ad vantages, cost the same as com
mon kinds. Whatever you pay you can't buy better thus
Holeproof. Try a box today. We have a complete line,
SAM HUGHES CO.
Grant Six
WHAT IS IT?
38-HORSE POWER SIX
Cylinder Automobile for
$900:22, fully equipped with
self-starter and some features
not shown by any other auto
mobile. Sold on most liberal
terms. One-half cash; balance
in eight monthly payments at
6 per cent interest.
GOTO
Gilliam & Bisbee
For Your Automobile
Leave Your Order For A Suit
SOME MEN prefer snug-fitting clothes, oth
ers prefer loose-fitting clothes and still
others prefer medium-fitting clothes. This
store is conducted for the purpose of meeting
the preferences of all men. Our clothes will
fit your figure as you want them to, addition
ly, they'll fit your ideas as to style, tailoring
and fabric.
Have a look at Brownsville
Woolen Mills, Samples
PRICES FROM
$18.00 to $30.00. Satisfaction Guaranteed.
Thomson Bros.
GET t-T. PRINTING AND WONT REGRET IT
LOCATED.
A Chicago man tells ct calling on
a young lady very early one spring
morning. He came up In his big
automobile and lie wanted to give the
young lady a morning spin through
the country. A little girl, the young
lady's niece, answered the bell.
"Is your auntie in?" asked the
man.
"Yes, sir."
"That's good. Where is she?"
"She's up-stairs," said the little
girl, "in her nightie, looking over
the banisters."
I I I I
ZONES AM) GARDENS.
While inspecting examination pa
pers recently a teacher lound various
humorous answers to questions. A
class of boys, averaging 12 years of
age had been examined in geography.
The previous day had been devoted
to grammar. Among the geographi
cal questions was the following:
"Name the Zones."
One promising youth, who had mix
ed the subjects wrote: "There are
two zones, masculine and femine.
The masculine is either temperate or
intemperate; the femine is either
torrid or frigid!"
-I I I I
NOT HER MONEY.
The woman slipped a dime into the
glove of her left hand. She would
be at the subway in a moment and
the dime so placed would facilitate
matters. As she passed the foot of
the bridge extension by the city hall
the ring of a coin as it struck the
pavement reached her ears. She
saw a dime rolling at her feet.
A fat man, subway bound, also
heard and saw it. Both stooped to
pick it up. She was first. His
hand only fanned the dust from the
side-walk.
"I beg your pardon," he said, as he
straightened up, rather red in the
face.
"Not at all," she said. "I thank
you for your courtesy." Then she
hurried down stairs.
Seated in the train her gloved hand
nvolunari'.y went to her hair. A
d'.me drorc. into her lap. Then she
understood.
115 1
THE KEA-tiOIXO JITNEY.
The following street-car story has
been recently circulated: In Los
Angeles an electric car met a jitney
bus with disastrous results, and a
mong the passengers who were called
upon to give testimony was a "jackie"
from the monitor Cheyenne. His
letter to the claim agent follows:
"I was standing on the starboard
forecastle of the car when the gaso
line cutter hove in sight off our port
bow. . We were making 15 knots,
and the cutter was coming about the
same along another channel. It was
clear weather and not much ground
swell.
"Our chief engineer blew his siren
and reversed his propellers but he
couldn't heave her to in time to keep
from ramming her. There wasn't
even time to get out the lite-preservers
or sound the emergency call.
We smashed a couple of the little
craft's compartments. Her captain
stuck to his post. The jitney went
down like a submarine.
"I think the cause of the wreck
was that the jitney's binnacle light
was out."
I I t I
DIVULGED THE SECRET.
There is a prominent man of af
fairs who is very absent-minded. He
was about to leave the office of a
bank president when the banker call
ed to him.
"You're losing your petticoat,
aren't you, Henry?"
The prominent man, not under
standing, gazed at the banker, who
continued: "What's that white thing
hanging below your trousers leg?"
The man looked down, His face
colored and he stepped back into the
director's room. When he came out
he walked briskly past the bank pres
dent, who called: "Here, why don't
you explain?"
Coming close, the other whispered:
"Simply forgot to take off my pa
jamas when I got out of bed this
morning.
I I I I
THE WHOLE.
Uncle Ernest (improving the
shining hour) : And what do we do
with the flesh of the whale?
Bobby Eat it.
Uncle Earnest (sarcastically)
Oh, do we? . And what do we do
with bones?
Bobby Put 'em on the edge of the
plate.
I I I I
At a fancy-dress ball for children
a policeman stationed at the door
was instructed not to admit any a-
dult.
An excited woman came running
to the door and demanded admission,
"I'm sorry mum," replied the
policeman, "but I can't let any one
in but children."
"But my child is dressed as a but
terfly," exclaimed the woman, "and
has forgotten her wings."
"Can't help it," replied the police
man, "orders is orders; you'll have to
let her go as a caterpillar."
SHd a few Prince Alhert
smokes into your system!
eoprrtht iw by
L J. iUjritOMb fubecee Cfe
ff
4
You've heard many an earful about the Prinrp Alhrt
patented process that curs out bite and
smoke your fill without acomebackl Stake vnnr hnnU- mil w
it proves out everv hour of the dav.
Prince Albert has alwavs been sold
without coupons or premiums. We
prefer to give quality 1
There's sport smokine a pine or rolling
ycir own, but you know that you've got
to have the right tobacco! We tell you
Prince Albert will bang the doors wide
open tor you to come in on a good time ..., i L
firing up every little so often, without a f natlonalJy moke
regret! YouH feel like your smoke past
has been wasted and will be sorry you cannot
back up for a fresh start.
You swing on this say-so like it was a tip to a
thousand-dollar bill ! It's worth that in happi
ness ana contentment to you, to every man
who knows what can be
gotten out of a chummy
jimmy pipe or a makm s
cigarette with
Prince Albert for
"packing"!
R. J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO
ffuuUa-SikB, N.C.
Thltl.ther.verM
lite or the tld
THE Prince
m 'm
ml
Albert tidy
red tin, and in
fact, everv Prince
Albert package, has
onitsreverseside. You'll
read: "Process Patented
July 30th, 1907." That mean
that the United Stnte Govern.
ment has granted a patent on th
process by which Prince Albert Is
made. And by which tongue bite and
rnroar pa rcn are cut out: every
where tobacco is sold you 11 find
Prince Albert awaiting yon
in toppy red bags, 5c: tidy
red tins, luc: handsome
pound and half-pound
tin humidors and in
that clever crystal
glass humidor, with
sponge - motstener
top, that keeps the
tobacco in such
fine condition-
1 ways I
BITTEN BY MAD DOG
Mrs. Fred Lee of Big Stone Flat
was bitten by a mad dog last week
and went to Portland Monday to take
the Pasteur treatment. Mrs. Lee
was attacked by the family pet dog in
the yard at the ranch. The ani
mal tried to get to her face, but Mrs.
Lee protected her head with her arms
and the right arm was badly lacerat
ed. There is apparently no doubt of the
dog being mad. It ran amuck after
biting Mrs. Lee, and killed a number
of chickens and a cat, and bit another
dog. Both dogs were killed as soon
as possible. It is thought that the
dog was infected with rabbles by a
pet coyote which was kept on the
ranch some time ago. The coyote
became rather vicious and was killed.
Echo News.
LOST-Cliild's gold chain and lock
et containing pictures. Finder leave
at residence of Mrs. Mary Bartholo
mew and receive reward. Mrs. Elva
Roberts.
Herb Olden was in the city from
his farm west of the city Tuesday.
6 lots 40x90; 1 lot 50x110; 1 8
room dwelling, woodshed and other
outbuildings; 1 5-room dwelling,
woodshed and other outbuildings; 1
barn, used for livery stable, 64x64.
This property is in a small eastern
Oregon town and is for sale at $1500
cash or will trade for Heppuer prop
erty, Morrow county wheat laud, or
would trade for an auto. Owner's
business calls him away and he is
desirous of closing a deal on this
property before leaving. Further
particulars will be given by calling
on us.
SMEAD & CRAWFORD.
Shower For Miss Bennett.
Manle Circle. Women nf Woodcraft
I entertained forty matrons and young
ladies at the I. O. 0. F. hall last Fri
day afternoon at a shower in honor of
Miss Oma Bennett, whose marriage to
Clarence Scrlvner is announced for
the latter part of June. Miss Bennett
received many beautiful and useful
presents. Light refreshments were
served.
Gilliam & Bisbee, who recently ac
quired the local agency for the Grant
Six automobile, are offering liberal
terms on this popular, moderate pric
ed car. It will pay you to read their
advertisement in this issue.
Harry Bartholomew, Stanfield
sheep buyer, was over from the pro
ject city on Tuesday on business. He
was accompanied by his son, Lee.
J. B. Sparks went to Pilot Rock
Monday. He was accompanied by
George Shipley, who will visit at the
home of his daughter, Mrs. Cora
Kuotts.
Mrs. R. II. Holcmnn, of White
Swan, Wash., is a guest this week at
the home of Mr. and Mrs. George
Hendry. Mrs. Holeman has been
visiting with her parents, Mr. and
Mrs. John Cochran in lone.
T. F. Boylen Umatilla county sheep
buyer was in the city from Pendleton
Monday,
Arthur Madden of Condon was In
Hepner Monday.
4Ht,4,4i4,.4.4,4.4.4.4.4.4..M'
L MONTERESTELLI
MARBLE AND GRANITE
WORKS
PENDLETON, OREGON
Fine Monument and Cemetery Work.
All parties interested in getting work in my
line should get my pricas and estimates
before placing their orders.
ALL WORK GUARANTEED
CITY MEAT MARKET
UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
All kinds of Fresh and Cured Meats and Lard
Tali It tk place to buy
Oysters, Crabs, Clams, Salmon, Halibut, Smelts
Johnson & Rood
The HORN PASTIME
VICTOR GROSHEN, Prop.
SOUTHEAST CORNER MAIN & MAY STREETS
Complete Line of Candies and Cigars and all the
Leading Soft Drinks. Card Tables in Connection.
First Class Service
Give Us a Call
Lawrence Redding, Eight Mile far
mer, was in the city for a few farm
supplies Wednesday.
W. H. Clark of Lent was attending
to matters of business in this city
last Saturday.