The gazette-times., January 07, 1915, HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION, Page 16, Image 22

HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION
16
Stories the World
Meets With Smiles
JOHN, whose father was a baker,
was in the habit of bringing his
teacher a fresh pretzel each day.
"I wish you would tell your father
not to make them quite so salty,"
she once said, laughingly.
Thereafter, the shiny, brown deli
cacy always minus the salt was
found frequently on her desk. "It is
very kind of your father to make one
on purpose for me," she told him.
"Oh!" was the startling reply. "He
don't make them this way. I lick
the salt off!''
The Way She Would Learn.
Willie and Tommy are two Michi
gan youngsters who are pugilistic
ally inclined. The other day the fol
lowing conversation took place be
tween them:
"Aw," said Willie, tauntingly,
"you're afraid f fight that's wat it
is."
"Naw, I ain't," protested Tommy,
stoutly, "but if I fight my ma'll find
It out and lick me."
"How'll she find it out, eh?"
"She'll see the doctor goin' t' your
house."
Susie's Latin.
"fv Hnnirhtor Snslfi la eettlne
quite an excellent Latin scholar,"
said the proud father to a visitor.
"Here is one of her exercise books,
and you can look for yourself."
Susie blushed scarlet and made a
wild grab at the book. She was too
late, and ihe delighted visitor read
aloud to the company:
"Boyibus kissibus
Sweet girliorumj
GIrllbus liklbus,
Want! somorum."
The Point of View.
In the Great Western Railway car
riage, on the way up to London, a
youth had disturbed and annoyed the
other passengers by loud and foolish
remarks during a great part of the
Journey. As the train passed Howell
Lunatic Asylum he remarked:
"I often think how nice the asylum
looks from the railway."
"Some day," growled an old gen
tleman, "you will probably have oc
casion to remark now nice we rail
way looks from the asylum."
Wanted to Know.
The editor of the Evening Star was
deeply engrossed in his work when
he was suddenly interrupted by the
office boy, who remarked:
"There's a tramp at the door, Mr.
Hyde, and he says he ain't had
nothin' to eat for six days."
"Fetch him in," said the editor.
"If we can find out how he does it,
we can run the paper for another
week."
Domestic Economy.
Somebody said to Jamie MacJames
one day:
"I trust you don't spend all your
wages?"
"That I don't," Jamie replied. "I
only spend two-thirds. Two-thirds ,is
all."
"And the other third you bank
that, I suppose?"
"No, I do better than that with it.
I give it to the wife to run the house."
All Foreigners.
Two natives of the Emerald Isle
were discussing, with evident irrita
tion, the immigration problem.
"Thlm furriners Is gettln' an awful
hold in this counthry," said Tim.
"Thru for yez," answered the
other, as he transferred his corncob
pipe to the other side of his mouth.
"I wuz readln' over last evenln' the
list av mln naturalized, an' ivery wan
av them was furrln!"
GOING EAST or
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When in Seattle
ISSFRY.E
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When you go to Portland yon win
want to
Attend the Theater
Tou will get the most tor your money
by loing to
THE BAKER
(Geo. L. Baker, Ifgr).
On Broadway and Morrison Bts.
Home of the Famous Baker Players.
Prices, 26c, 89c, 50e, 75c; Mats,, 25c, 600,
Matinees
SUNDAY, WEDNESDAY, SATURDAY.
Always a new play. High-clan company
of real acton and actresses. Beautiful
cenlo and stage effects. The Baker
Players have been famous In Portland
for 15 years and to see them Is a part
of one's visit to the metropolis.
SEATTLE'S FAVORITE HOTEL
Only Three Blocks From Depots and Docks
RATES THAT ARE RIGHT
$1.00 Per Day and Up
PURE MOUNTAIN STRAINED HONEY FROM SUNNY CALIFORNIA!
Mail or Express C. O. D., or Cash. Quality Guaranteed
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One Gallon Pure Amber Mountain strained Honey for 1.10, F. O. B. Los Angeles
Ask about Oranges, Nuts, Dried Fruits, Beans, etc.
PBODUCERS-TO-CONSl'.MERS SUPPLY CO., 230 tt S. Spring St, Los Angeles, Calif.
A CHANCE TO MAKE MONEY
FARM EXCHANGES
The following described farm Is on of the best In the southern part of the Willamette
Valley. It consists of 283 acres, two miles from Cottage Grove, Or., half mile from rail
road station. There are 100 acres In the highest state of cultivation, 10 acres In fall
bearing orchard. All kinds of small fruit and grapes, A number of acres In alfalfa and
clover. 190 acres fine bottom land, 93 acres in timber, will run over 1,000,000 feet No
gravel or white land. Has woven wire fences, good 10-room house, three barns and all
outbuildings. Rock roads, R.P. D, and telephone. 250 acres tillable. This place Is a big
moneymaker and will stand ths closest Investigation. Price, $30,000, no incumbrance.
Will trade for a larger place of equal value In Washington, Oregon or Idaho.
OREGON FARMERS. ATTENTION!
333 acres located In Rush County, Kansas; 155 acres In cultivation, 15 acres In hardwood
timber, balance In grass; 173 acres rich bottom land, balance first bench. Fine creek and
springs. A number of acres In alfalfa and clover, Good house, two big cattle barns, ex
tra large granary, also Implement shed. Two and one-half miles from town. Fine rock
roads. All under fence and cross-fence. Price 320,000. No incumbrance. Will trade for
a Willamette Valley farm of equal value.
CITY PROPERTY
A fine piece of Portland, Or., Income property, located on the West Side, within eight
blocks of the Postofflce. I now leased at the low figure of 1275 a month. It consists
of a half block, measuring 60x200 feet Street assessments all paid. Price 110,000
with $10 000 mortgage. I will trade equity for equipped farm In Willamette Valley.
This property In a few yearawill bo worth much more money.
JOHN E. HOWARD,309 Chamber of Commerce, Portland, Oregon
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