The gazette-times., November 19, 1914, HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION, Page 16, Image 22

16
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION
Stories With a Smile
Xot roily Ticks.
D USING a political campaign a
candidate for the Legislature
was driving through the coun
try seeking votes among the farm
ers, when he met a young man in a
farmer's garb walking by the road
side. "Are you paying any attention to
politics nowadays?" he asked, after
starting his team.
The young man looked at him aus
piciously and drawled out: "No,
stranger, that don't happen to be my
gal's name, but If it was I wouldn't
think it was any of your darned
business."
This ended the interview as well
as the process.
He Was Right?
King Peter of Servia, who does
not mean to let Austria have every
thing her own way, once had for a
yalet a man who seemed to find it
quite impossible to understand an
order intelligently. However, some
of his mistakes, though annoying at
the time, had their distinctly humor
ous side.
On one occasion King Peter sent
the man with a message to his wife.
Alas! He forgot It on the way.
King Peter was furious when the
man returned.
"Why, you noodle!" he exclaimed,
"I don't believe you know what
w-o-m-a-n spells!"
"Trouble as a rule, sir," was the
man's quiet retort; and His Majesty
now wonders whether the man was
as stupid as he used to appear.
When Scot Meets Scot.
, The lady was the owner of a small
shop, writes the London Telegraph,
and her squire acquired the habit of
seeing her home, and carrying the
cash bag that contained the day's
takings. It was generally heavy.
"You must be doin' weel," re
marked the gentleman, frequently.
"Oh, ay," the lady would reply,
"It's a guid bit business."
But she did not disclose that be-
BORROW THIS CAR
FOR A YEAR
A full year's use at practically
no cost perhaps yon're neres
thought of it in this war before,
but it's a fact nevertheless that
today 70a can bay a re-built Win
ton and after using it for a full
Beason sell it without a cent of de
preciation. It's like borrowing a ear frost
your friend for a year and return
ing it to him after using it for 3M
days.
Efery traded in Winton Six
many of them como to us in part
payment on new models each year
is given thorough orerhaulinf
In the Wintoa shops and brought
up to the regular Winton standard
fine six - cylinder self - cranking
automobiles.
These In turn are disposed of
to our rapidly increased list of
"used" car customers at exactly
the price allowed for them when
taken in exchange.
fn this way the buyer Is able te
pick up a Winton Six at about
half the coal of the same ear new
and is fully protected by the com
pany's guarantee that It will gire
the aatisfaation for which Wintoa
Sixes are famed. Let us send yon
today our latest complete bargain
list.
TuE WINTON MOTOB CAS 00.
Portland, Oregon.
Seattle, Wash. Spokane, Wash.
sides the moderate drawings, the bag
contained the counter weights. The
canny lover only discovered that fact
after marriage.
Three Ages.
The new Berlin botanical gardens,
gays Lustlge Blaetter, are wonder
fully beautiful, but to small children
they are a forbiden paradise. Boys
and girls under 10 are not permitted
to enter.
HeiT and Frau Mueller found this
out to their disappointment when
they planned to take their little Paul
on a Sunday trip to view the beau
tiful gardens; nevertheless, they
gave their young hopeful a few in
structions, and started out
At the gate, the porter stopped the
young Mueller. "How old are you?"
he inquired. Paul answered: "Six
for the electrics; really 8; for the
botanical gardens, 10."
Would Reward Her.
Mrs. Smith was an ardent worker
in the cause of the prevention of
cruelty to animals, and, when Mrs.
Brown came to tea, told her a
pathetic tale of a donkey that she
had rescued from a cruel master the
day before.
The visitor was very Interested,
and when she rose to go said :
"I am so glad you have told me
all those fascinating things about
animals, dear Mrs. Smith. I shall
never see a donkey again without
thinking of you."
His Staying Powers,
Two business men were lunching
in Fifth Avenue when an old gray
beard stumped by. "That's Brown.
He works for me," said the first
business man.
"He's an honest looking chap. Has
he got staying powers?" asked the
second business man.
"He has that," said the first "He
began at the bottom of the ladder in
76, and he's stayed there ever
since."
Would Welcome a Change.
Little Tommy was the son of the
Smithville Board of Education, but
political pull didn't seem to ease the
road he had to hoe at school.
Recently the school house burned
down, and when plans for a new
building were under consideration,
the youngster went to the "Board."
"Father," he thoughtfully re
marked, "don't you think we could
have a round school house this
time time?"
"A round schoolhouse!" was the
wondering response of father. "What
in the deuce do you want a round
school house for?"
"Because," answered Tommy, with
a plaintive sigh, "I am getting
mighty tired of corners."
In No Common Way.
Lady Once, last summer, I saw
some boys "treading for clams," as
they called It They were very dirty-
looking boys; they were barefooted
feet unwashed, most likely and
they were walking through the mud
at low tide. When they felt a clam
at their feet they pulled It out with
their toes. It just made me sick. I
hope your clams are not caught that
way.
Walter Of course not ma'am.
The man who furnishes clams to this
restaurant fishes for 'em with a
silver spoon.
The Real Baedeker.
An Englishman tells this incident
of a trip he took to Russia. With
him in his compartment of the train
was an exceedingly well-informed
German, and the two grew very
friendly. Each was a stranger to the
other.
They had talked for hours over a
wide range of topics when the Eng
lishman asked the German if he hap
pened to have a Baedeker with him.
It was too much for the warm
hearted Teuton. Bursting with a
sudden and overwhelming enthusi
asm, he beat his breast with both
hands, exclaiming: "Got In Himmel,
I am It!"
It was none other than Karl Baed
eker himself.
e
A Difficult Choice.
Mr. Plowden, the well-known Lon
don magistrate, who has just retired
from the bench, has a great reper
toire of good stories.
His favorite one relates to a case
in which he appeared as counsel. In
the course of this case he had to
cross-examine the wife of a notori
ous burglar.
"You are the wife of this manT"
he asked.
"I am," she replied.
"Ifou knew he was a burglar when
you married him?" he proceeded,
"I did," she admitted.
"How could you possibly marry
such a man?" Mr. Plowden demand
ed. "Well, It was like this," the wit
ness explained confidentially. "I wai
getting out, and two chaps wanted
to marry me. It wasn't easy to
choose between 'em, but in the end
I married Mill there. The other cha
was a lawyer, same as you, sir!"
GOING EAST or
COMING WEST
Wt can Sate you Money
Seduced ratea on Housebald Goods. Plane
AatoaMbiles. et. Tknmgk consolidated emra
kunrtsg proiapl dellTery aad earefel
handling,
Rate and Information famished ea request,
Pacific Coast Forwarding Company
201 Wilcox Buildini. PortlaaJ Ore
"KING OF THE WOODS". DRAB SAW
With or Without Buz Saw Attachment
Will saw 20 to 40 cords oi wood per day a a cost of I Ijllu '
$1.00. PULLS 1 i SLLr up the steepest HILL, and
over the roughest pound. Costs less thin other make,
One man writes he sawed 30 ncxi ut II) hours.
Another sawed 40 cords in 9 hours. There's
more you oufht to know. Write for FREE cat
alog coniainmf full description with tesbmoniabl
from enttuiaastKT users. WKIIC lUUfll. jr
IT PAYS TO DUY A
GOOD PIANO
Cheap prices and special inducements should not influence th
Piano buyer.
We carry all grades of Pianos from $250.00 to $2,300.00, but
enly makes in which we have confidence and which we can recom
mend. Our Pianos from $250.00 to $375.00 include several makes
which are positively the best Pianos manufactured to sell at these
prices the lowest prices at which good dependable Piaaos can
be sold.
We carry only one line of Player Pianos; that of the Aeolian
Company, makers of the world famous Pianolas. The Pianola i
furnished in six different makes of Pianos.
Write TTs for Catalogues and Prices.
ShermanJpay & Go.
Stelnway, Weber and Other Pianos, Pianolas, Victrolas,
and all the Records.
POBTLAND, OREGON.
i 1
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ACCIDENT
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