The gazette-times., October 29, 1914, HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION, Page 15, Image 23

15
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL.
A Fool and His Money
By
Geo. Barr
McCutchcon
Copyright, 1913,
By Geo. Barr
McCutcheon,
SYNOPSIS OP PEEVI0U3 INSTALLMENTS.
In the nwmi in.tft!1mni. nf "A Fool and Hi. Monev." Gen Barr WcCntcheo n's charming novel, we learn or Jonn xieuamy oman., MiC y?u.s .. n
CISCO
take.
10 leave,
from
ne wou
- u ..wl h nmmtPKR nn:.ir.rc Vim w,..nun B,-uiiC tint aUma a Hnor wni hpr. The Visitor SUSpeCtt
valet. Finally tho party leaves and Smart is relieved. Tbe Count turn up again and aBks lor a loan of money, but is refused.
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION
rELL, then, wo' 11 look at it in thai!
91 vv light. X am not in a poaiMun m ,
invest so much money at thit
timo. To bo perfectly frank with yon, 1
haven't the money lying loose."
"Suppose tbiit I were to say that any time
Inside the next three or four weeks would be
satisfactory to me," said he, as if he were
framing me a favor. "Ploaso be seated, Mr.
Smart," lie glaid at his watch, "I have
ordored a light supper to bo sent up at tou
O'clock. Wo can '
"Thank you. I fear it is impossible for
me to remain."
'I shall be disappointed. However, an
other time, if not tonight, I trust. And now
to coino to tho point. May I depend upon yon
to help mo ut this trying period! A few
thousand will be sufficient for present needs,
and tbe balance may go over a few weeks
without seriously inconveniencing me. If we
can come to some sort of an understanding to
night, my attorney wilt be happy to meet you
tomorrow at any time and place you may
suggest."
I actually wa staggered. Upon my word
H was almost as if he were dunning me and
magnanimously consenting to give me an ex
tension of timo if I could see my way clear to
let him have something on account. My
eholer was rising.
"I may as well tell yon fintt as last.
Count Tarnowsy, that I cannot let you have
the money. It ia quite impossible. In the
iirat place, J haven't the amount to spare;
in the second "
"Enough, sir," he broke in angrily. "T
have committed tho common error of regard
ing one of you as a gentleman. Damn me,
if I shall ever do so again. There isn't one
in the whole of tho United States. Will yon
be good enough, Mr. Smart, to overlook ray
mistake! I thank you taking to trouble to
rush into print in my defence. If you have
gained any thing by it, I do not begrudge
yen the satisfaction you must feci in being
heralded as the host of Oonnt Tarnowsy and
his friend. You obtained the privilege very
cheaply."
"Yon will do well, sir, to keep a civil
tonguo in your head," said X, paling with
fury.
'I hare nothing moro to say to you, Mr.
Smart," said he contemtuously. "Good
night. Francois I Conduct Mr. Smart to tbe
corridor.'
Francois or "Franko" as Britton, whose
Trench is very lame, had called him pre
ceded me to tho door. In all my experience,
nothing surprised mo so much as my ability
to leave tho room without first kicking Fran
coll' master, fcor at least telling htm what I
thought of him. Strangely enough, I did not
recover my senso of speech until I was well
out Into tho corridor. Then I deliberately
took a gold coin out of my pocket and pressed
it into tho valet's hand.
"Kindly give that to your master with my
compliments," said I, in a voice that wa
Intended to reach Tarnowey's ear.
"Dun soir, m'sien," said Francois, with
an amiable grin. Ho watched mo descend
the stairs and then softly elnsed the door.
In the office I came upon Mr. Schymansky.
"I trust everything is satisfactorily ar
ranged, Mr. " ho began smiling and rub
bing his hands, lie was so utterly unpre
pared for the severity of the interruption
that tho smile was still in process of con
gealing as I stepped out into the narrow,
illy-lighted street.
Max and Rudolph were waiting ftt the
wharf for me. Their excellent arms and
broad backs soon drove the light boat across
the river. But once during tho five or ten
minutes of passage did I utter a word, and
that word, while wholly involuntary and by
no moans addressed to my oarsmen, had the
remarkable effect of making them row like,
lury for tho remainder of the distance.
Mr. Poopcndj-ke was waiting for mo In,
the court yard. He was carrying a lantern,
which ho held rather closo to my face a
il looking for something he dreaded to ace.
"What tho devil is the matter with yon!"
I demanded irascibly. "Wtiat's up! What!
axe you doing out here with a lantern!" j
"I was rather anxious," he said, a not;
of relief In his voice. "I feared that some
thing unexpected might have befallen you. 1
Five minutes aeo the Mr. Pleas called up
the tolephono and left a message for jou.
It rather upset me, sir."
"He did, eh! Well, what did ho say!" j
"Ho merely commanded mo to give yon
his compliments and to tell you to go to
the devil. I told him that you would doubt
less bo at home a little later on and it
would sonnd vory much better if it came
from him instead of from me. Whereupon
he told mo to accompauy you, giving rather
explicit directions. He appeared to be in a
tremendous rage."
I laughed heartily. "I must have got
nndor his confounded skio ;.fter all."
"I was a littlo worried, so I camo out
with the lantern. One never can toll. Did
you come to blows."
"Blows! What puts that idea into your
head!"
"Tho Countess was listening on the ex
tension wire while he was speaking to me.
She thought it was you calling up and wns !
"iger to hear what had happened. It was she!
who put it into my head. She said yu
must have given his nose a jolly good pull
ing or something of the sort. I am extreme
ly sorry, but she heard every word he said,
even to the mildest damn."
"It must have had a very familiar sound
to her," I Raid sourly.
"So she informed me."
"Oh, you've seen her, eh!"
"She came down to the secret door a few
minute ago and urged me to set out to
meet you. Slip says she can hardly wait
for the news. I was to send you upstairs
at once."
Confound him, he took that vptv Instant
to hold the lantern up to my face again,
and caught me grinning like a Cheshire cat
I harried to my room and brushed my pelf
up a bit. On my bureau, in a glass of Ma
ter, there was a white boutonniere, rather
elumKily constructed and all ready to be
pinned in the lapel of my eoat. I confess to
a blush. I wish Brit ton wonld not be si
infernally arduous in his efforts to please
mo.
The Countess gave a little sigh of relief
when I dashed in upon her a few minutes
later. She had it all out of me before I bad
quite recovered my breath after the climb
upstairs,
"And so it wan I who spent sll the
money," she mused, with a far away look
in her eye.
"In trying to be a countess," said I
boldly.
She smiled. "Are you hungry !"
"Delightfully," said I.
We Rat down at, the table. "Now tell me
everything i;Il over again," she said.
CHAPTIvK Xir.
MR. POOPHNDYKK .begm. to develop a
streak of romantic invention in fact,
tomfoolery a day or two after my
experience with Count Tarnowsy in the Kemnf
Hotel. He is the last person in the world
of whom I or any one ebe would suspect
silliness of a radical nature.
We were finding it rather difficult to get
d o wn to ac tu al, sen o u s work on the boo k .
The plot and the synopsis, of course were
quite completely outlined; with ordinary in
tensity of purpose on my part the tale might
have galloped through the introduelory chap
tors with some clarity and decisiveness. But:
for Bome reason I lacked the power of con
eventration or perhaps more pmperly speaking
tho power of initiative. 1 laid it to the
hub-hub crealt'd by the final effort of tbe 1
workmen to finish the job of repairing my 1
castle before cold weather set in. j
"That isn't it, Mr. Smart," said mv sec-I
retary darkly. We were in the study and
my pad of paper was lying idly on my knees.
For half on hour I had been trying to think
of a handy sentence with which to open
the story; the bind of sentence that catches
the unwary reader's attention at a glance
and makes for interest.
"What is it, then!" I demanded, at once
resentinc an opinion.
Ho smiled mysteriously. ' 'You were not
thinking of the workmen just now, were
yon!"
"Certainly," said I, coldly. "What's that
got to do with it?"
"Nothing, I suppose," said he resiencdlr,
I hesitated. "Of course it is the work
that upsets me. Wflat are you driving at."
He stared for a long time nt the portrait
of Ludwig the Red. "Isn't It odd that the
Countess, an American, Bhould be descended
from the old Kothhoefensl What a small
world it is, after all!"
I became wary. "Nothing odd about it to
me. We've all got to descend from some
body," "I dare say. Still it is odd that the
should bo hiding in tho castlo of her
ancoa ' '
"Not at all, not at all. It just happens
to be a handy place. Perfectly natural. "
We lapsed into a prolonged spell of silence.
I found myself watehing him rather com
batively, as who would anticipate tbe move
of an adversary.
"Perfect rot," I said, at last, without
rhyme or reason.
He grinned. "Nevertheless, it's the gen
eral opinion that you are," said ho.
I sat up very straight. "What's that!"
"You're in love," said he succinctly. It
was like a bomb, and a bomb is the very
last tiling in succinctness. It comes to the
point without palaver or conjecture,' and it
reduces havoc to a single synonymous syl
labi?. "You're eraayt1 I gasped.
"And the workmen haven't anything at
all to do with it," he pronounced emphat
ically. It was a direct charge, I distinctly
felt called upon to refute it. But while I
was striving to collect my thoughts he went
on, somewhat arbitrarily, I thought: "You
don't think wo'ro all blind, do you, Mr.
Smart!"
"Wei" I murmured, a curious dampnoss
assailing mc,
"That is to say, Britton, the Scbmicks
and myself."
"Tho Schmicks!" It was high time that
I should laugh. "Hal hat Tbe Schmicks I
Good Lord, man the Schmicks." It sound
ed inano even to me, but on my soul, it
was all I could think of to say,
"The Schmicks aro tickled to death over
it," said he, "And so is Britton."
Collecting all the sarcasm that I could
command at the instant, I inquired; "And
you, Mr. Poopendyke are you not tick
lish!" "Very," said he.
"Well, I'm not!" said I, savagely. "What
does nil this nonsense mean. Don't be an
ass, Fred."
"Perhaps yon don't know it, Mr. Smart,
but you are in love," said he so convincing
ly that I was conscious of an abrupt sink
ing of the heart. Good heavcnsl Was he
right? Was there anything in this siUy
twaddle! "You aro juito mad about her."
1 'The deu"o you say ! ' ' I exclaimed,
rather blankly.
"Oh, I've seen it coming. For that mat
ter, so has she. It's as plain as the
nose"
I leaped to my feet, Rtartled. "Phe. You
don't Has she said anything that leads
you to believe Oh, the deuce! What rot!"
"No use getting angry over it," hfl said
consolingly. "Failing in love is the sort
of tiling a fellow can't help, you know. It
imppons without his assistance. It is so
efi-jy. Ni-w I was once in love with a girl
fur two yV'ars with nit really knowinc it.
"And how did you find it out!" I asked,
weakly.
"I didn't find it out until she m;trried
another chap. Thnn I know I'd been in
love with her all the time. But's that's
neither hro nor there. You are libels over
heed in love with tbe Countess Tarnowsy
and"
' Shut up. Fred! You're going daffy from
redding my books, or absorbing my manu
script?:, er ' '
"Heaven is mv witness. I don't rend your
bonks and I merely correct your ma n a sen "t.
Ri.d knows there is no rnmn-.c in that! Yob
sre in love. Now what are you going to
do about it !"
"Do about it!" I cbnmr.dtd.
"You e;m't g on in thin way., you l;now,"
he said reb-etlcKsly. "She won't "
' 'Why. you bothering idiot." T roiirod.
"do you know wVit you are sayinc? I'm not
In love with anybody. My heart if is
Rut never mind! Now, listen to me, Fred.
Thiii nonsense hsi pot to cease, I won't
have it. Why, she's already got a hus
band. She's had all she can stand in the
way of hnsb ' '
"Rubbish ! She can stand a husband or
two more, if you nre going to look at it
in a literal way. Besides, she hasn't a hus
band. She's ehiirkod him. Good riddance,
too. Now, do you imagine for ft single in
stant that a beautiful, adorable young wom
an of 23 is going to spend the rest of her
life without a man? Not much! She's free
to marry again and she will."
"Admitting that to be true, why should
she marry me?"
"I didn't say she was in love with you.
I said yen were in love wilh her."
"Oh." I mid. and my fue fell. "I pee."
TTe seemed to be considering something.
After n fpw seconds, be nodded his head de
cisively. ' 'Yes, I nm s'ire of it. If the
right man rets Vr. she'll make the finest,
sweetest wife in tbe world. She's never
bad a chanee to show what's really in her.
She would be adorable, wouldn't she f "
The sudden question cnustbt me unawares.
"She would ! " I said, with conviction.
"Well," snid he, slowly and deliberately,
"why don't you set about it, then?''
He was so ridiculous that I thought for
tho fun of it, I'd humor him.
'Assuming that you are richt in regard
to my feelines 1ownn! her, Fred, what leads
you to believe that I would stand ft chance
of winninc her?" It was a silly question,
but I declare I hung on his answer with
n tonneno that surprised me.
"Why liot ? You are good looking, a
gentleman, a celebrity, and a man. Bless
my R:iul. she could do worse."
"But you forgot that I am let me see
thirty five and she is but twenty-three."
' 'To offset that, she has been married
and nnhappy. That brings her about lip to
your level, I should say. She's a mother,
and that nukes you seem a good bit young
er. Moreover, she isn't a Bod widow. She's
a grass widow, and she's got a living ex
ample to use as a contrast. Regulation
widows sometimes forget tho past because
it is dim and dead; but, by George, sir, the
divorced wife doesn't forget tbe hard time
she's had. She's mighty careful when she
goes about it the second time. Tho other
kind has lost her sense of comparison, her
standard, so to 6peak. Her husband may
have been a rotter and all that sort of thing,
bnt he's dead and bnried and 'she can't see
anything but the good that was in him for
the simple reason that it's on his tombstone.
But when they're still alive and as bad as
ever well, don't you see It's different."
"It occurs to me she'd he more likely to
see tho evil in all men and steer dear of
them."
"That isn't feminine nature. All women
want to be kived. They want to be mar
ried. They want to mako some man happy."
"I suppose all this is philosophy." I
musod, somewhat pleased and mollified.
"But we'll look at it from another point
of view. The former Miss Titus set out for
a titlo. She got it. Do you imagine she'll
marry a man who has no position By
Jove I That reminds me of something. You
are altogether wrong in your reasoning,
Fred. With her own lips she declared to
me one day that she'd never marry again.
There you are I"
He rolled his eyes heavenward.
"They take iekxal U talf-fity,'' mU W
"You can't believe 'cm under oath when
they're in that mood."
"Well, granting that she will marry
again," said I, rather insistently, ' 'it
doesn't follow that her parents will consent
to a marriage with any one less than a duke
the next time."
"They've had their lesson.
"And she ia probably a mercenary crea
ture, after all. She a had a taste of pov
erty, after a fashion. I imagine "
"If I know anything about women, tho
Countess Tarnowsy wants love more than
anything else in the world, my friend. She
was made to be loved and ehe knows it. And
she hasn't had any of it, except from men
who didn't happen to know how to com
bine love and respect. I'll give you my can
did opinion, Mr. John Bellamy Smart. She's
in a roceptive mood. Strike while the iron
is hot. You'll win or my name isn't "
"Fred Poopendyke, you haven't a grain
of sense," I broke in sharply. "Do you
suppose, just to oblige you, I'll get my
self mixed up in this wretched squabble!
Why, she's not really clear of the fellow
yet. She's got a good many months to wait
before the matter of the child and the final
decree ' '
(To Be Continued)
Why You ShoaldVote for
BOOTH
Republican Candidate for U.S. Senator
7 r
Aro yon better off now than you
were under Bepublican administra
tions? Are you satisfied?
If you believo in the principles of
the Republican Party, if you are con
vlnced that these principles are best
for tho country, then prove it by vot
ing for your standard bearer, Eobert
A. Booth, Republican candidate for the
United States Senate.
Yon know that under Eepublican
presidents the people of the United
States have good times.
Too know that under Democratic
presidents you have Democratic times.
Eeroember the prosperity under Mo
Kinley, Roosevelt and Taft.
Bemember conditions under Cleve
land and Wilson.
jliw lusuQ ua una c&wpiuga is not
one of personality. It ia not one of
uuu-p&rugausiup. ia question 01
whether you prefer prosperity under
Do you have enough work? Axe your
wages good? Is your business what you
want It to be?
If you axe satisfied with present con
ditions, well and good; If you believe
that the present situation ia better than
under McKinley, l;oosevelt and Taft,
you know what to do.
The way to bring back prosperity ia
to help elect a Republican Senate. The
Republican candidate in Oregon is
E. A. Booth.
(Paid AdvertiBemeat B. A. Booth
Campaign Committee, Mergu Bailding,
Portlaad, Oiegoa.)
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