The Ione proclaimer. (Ione, Or.) 1???-19??, October 22, 1909, Image 7

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    To gtt & bexe5v&a
Fio Syrup Co.
Him tea? Tm,
' "fJeerge Moore, the aathor C Bather
' Waters, likes to talk," aald a magaslne
editor of New York, "about his own
ebecurity, Tory obscure. Lunching
with m en day at Clarldgs's. he-ssld
ha had recently put young American
girl whoa warm praiaa had pleased
him much.
- Wa think a haap of row writings
at Kauai way. Mr. Moora,' the young
girl amid.
"How Jotly!' cried tha novelist
And what story of mis do the good
.peopla of Ranaaa Ilka bestr
"0h, LaUe Rookb. far and away'
aid aha." ,
Tm Thm Keetpo Waa Triad. Our Tal
lowed In rive Hours.
A promtnant aaedleal an who BafTvrad with
a Mm ooaah mud cold on the hwra, oftao Wu
kept awake all night, and weakened by tat of
aleep. Anally dUcorerad tlmple formula which
will cor any oooah in A7 houn by the clock. It
kt laxative tonic wash syrup which ean ba mad
at botne br any and Che formula la tiara riven
for tha banaAt of those who paas alaapl a nlchto
In paJn'olperoxyama. Tbeae who have triad It aay
h im markal and beets any bieb-prioed, slow at
Hcooan medleine avar oold.
Ik in a buttle. on-hJf ounce fhrid wild eharry
ark. ana oonee coenpound eeaenee cardial and
thi ii minrai imr whltaplna compound. Take
twenty drops vary half hour for four home.
Than taka ana-half to on taaueonful thraa ar
foor timaa a day. Olra chlklran lea acMidin k
aaa. Thta will tan vp and rid tha ajrataai of
dial iiBlilawfrfcaaTarrtima.
' aayraaaa) Tawt.
"rbera, ramarkad tho'dantlat. aa ha
look off the rubber dam, "you'll never
new on a pleoe of beefateak laugh
enough to looeen. that nillna .".
"But deetor.- euariad tha a weal
roung thing with the tooth ' equally
tweet "will H atay In when I eat aaxav
eaata and molaseee candy?" -
Aadd Tew rrWae.
' 1 hear you apant your vacation wtth
friend. "We were friend during the
fl ret week. "-Loulvllle Coutier-Joar
Ailments of Mn
Happily Overcome
wee, Oraaaw ihiikiallia ef thalr
BhlktBaod'' haw bafara ta thraa
AX and tan ahotfd to Ma a iliaieial
'hCSHiada ba aUaMMa, aad
Mahry aOWant la oaiektr raatorhw
i ona ihaaatki. wank TBaJUy. aaaV
anchotta and tha fuefJoae
rfrat cat fifty canta' werth ef aaa
paaaa Aald faahnwort in a ana aaneanack
aaa. aad ihraa ouncaa ayrao aaneperille
amponnd; taka bona, mix and lat aland
two boora: than cat ona aonce amponnd
eaaanoa caidM and ona onnea Ueture
aadoeoana eatnooand Wt eardmoni). Mix
all fat a U or eicht ennca bottla. ahake
wak, and taka ona taapaonful aftar
each BHal and ona when leUrieev fal
knrad by a drink af watar.
By mlxfaic H at aoma neaaMBeaflaa
tha wiaar aa as anouWa ahattaaanaa,
and aapaaatra fa ara void ad.
Lack of potaa and qniHbrinai in akan hi
a aanataat aoaraa of amhaiTaaatnaat oraa
whan tha nubttc laaat Mupacta H. For tha
hanadt of thoaa who want a iiataintiint te
fnft banwDna- haelth. and all 1 ha happt
aaaa afraaMwytnc it, daa abawo hoaaa
b if m h ivn h maHai naopl
at ar kaH; -fonnhw drco whatarar.
HUMMW wand aaaaewUheakat
Oat at towa.ffevM
ara t&air Mia
eao aay
WaMinMa aaaf
12k fit m wH'ila
m T-T
a- raira ro in "Aaai
fa-jaal -M
Jgakv aVawa f.M
I SaMrsw LOO
i Eaaaat Fahaai 101
lakwrakaa M
kaarnaaai 2.61
iMiaw -1
aka Law
whs iiibh nowi zx sTje
WImo oomp'ny comes te eur place
There wbw dad's mouth Mi thi
Too ought to hw htm talk!
He reela off stuff on freight oar load
Oa wthr signs ml brick-paves'
Aa billiard chalk. ,-- .V
Hell Speak Of baseball OMMYSeS, Mil
The price o' meat an' tawnmower oil;
An' ada-eome more
About the life on Han. an auto Urea
An' how to put out coal mlno Ores,
Wbon on o ho baa. too floor. .
Things wo thought bo didnt know .
On h wit tiia wm to flow
Aa slick aa candle grease.
da gWea-the-cnre for roup ta hank,
The prlnclplea o fountain pena.
Why Huaanyar wanted paaoc, -
Wfaen RooaeraJt'e doe to com back
home, -rb
beat polnta In aa art gmaa dome
Or real aetata affaire.
Why women epend too much on draoa,
The proper movea m gamaa o' irbtrt.
An' breedln' Belgian barea. ,
Than, well warmed up, hall tura tu
' beana,
An Ufa on board tha aubmartnea, -
Or 'aplaln the income tajr.
An how to Judge good flabta' Hnea
W dllTrent klnda o foreign wlneo
Aa' atau a million facta.
ary thing be aaya-haa polnta to tt.
Oven hla Jokea and atreaka wit
When oomp'njfa at our bouea:
Thaugh when there ain't, he doat any
Aa keepa hla face daeed round our
' butch
Aa quM aa a mouea,
Ita when tharaa vlaHore to nataa '
That- be euta looaa with that gab
Aa' never gate a call
Bat Often I aee ma Juet grin
Like ana waa holdla' aometba tew '
Whoa father knowa It all. .
rtmaairiaJ aHaate Wht DM e Phaw
aa Ckaaae TUI It KUled Taaam.
A comment not lnfreaoantly hoard
la Wall street rone tana: "John O.
Rockefeller waa tha wleeat ef them
all. Ba knew when to quit- So did
Andrew Caraegla So, more recently,
did Jamoa BtUlmaa.' H. H. Rogera
trying ta throw off hla harneaa
wbaa atrack down. .
Tha Now York Journal of Commerce
eaya tha two grand old ma la tha
flnanolal world wboaa health never
ii inn to trouble them are J. P. Mor
gan and Jamea J. Hill. Neither ta
aver reported aa aoftertng from nerv
ona breakdown or aa being compelled
ta lalt tha spaa of Burope. TbeM
two old frteoda and aaaoclatea Jag
along qalaUy bat vary effectively year
after year, doing big things wlthoejt
lttlng these htg things ta ama
Mr. Morgan does mat hellevo fta r
tlrtr-j altogether from taadams. aa ta
many oaaaa that have come under all
observation retirement has aaan fe
tawed by tha tortnraa af eanui aad
speedy end. Mr. BUI a few years age
turned over aaaury of am dutlea to bit
eon, Loala, bet ha atfll ratal as enough
offices to keep htg mind from heeoav
Ing maty, yet not aooagh to preveat
him from taking an enlightened pari
la tha dlacnealoa and solutioa of bargf
poblla pToblema, agriealtaraL aooav
omlc, aolltlcal and flmanetal.
Aaharlca'a nvwad aoaat that aha hai
aa lataara. ciasa may - hereafter be
slightly aatwttfled. aa oar greatest aa
af aCalra are heglaalng U reailae thai
tha making af naeoey asm tha tncea
aat fight tor power, am not tha ho
ail aad eajdoil of Hto.
to Mene! Puma
The girl thoaght aha weald try a
Bttle strategy. v
"Mr. Bkrw fallow asked aha, "doat
yea tarah two esa Uve as cheaply as
"Nothing to K.' waa tt
reply. "My eham aad I tried tt
Kept baehalor. hall ta a tat."
rule Oearler Jearasl.-
. ga Hesaraa.
-Ossrl we hsatrwet thg
m to Uve properly aad mrprors their
aanawnl eoodttloar
-War. eaanaialT we can. Let an aat
e a aartaa ef hastares at aaa ef
the tjableashto hm'-mwm1
Bars In aa sapremlia
i: "He aaa
sa aatr
have need your vahiaUe Caacarrta
and I and them perfect. Couldn't da
without theaa. I have aaed them for
aome tuna for tndigcatioa and Uhouaneaa
and am now completely cured. Recom
mend them to everyone. Once tried, yon
will never be without them la the
taniily. ''--Edward A. Man, Albany, N.Y.
- Ptaasant, PaUtabh. rVant. Taata Good,
po Good. Never Sicken. Weakon or Oripa,
Wc.tSc, SOs. Nerer told la bulk. The ten
atoa tablet atarapod CCC. Qaaraatatd to
oora or yeai mooay back. an
j . .
, OataateaaMM,
One of tha charms of musto la that
tha masleally an educated pereoa does
not have to 'onderataad' K. With
"tmltatlva" mualc, however, tha omaa
is galto different, and ovary paaaaga
has either an obvious or a thinly coa
ealed meaning. OeeastonaJly tt la hard
to decipher certain anasual noiaea, as
tha following story from Fliegeoda
BlaetUr Indicates:
Tha compoeet had Just played Us
hut piece to bis friend, the critic
"Vary Una, Indeed." said tha critic
"But what la that -postage which
makes tha oold chills run down -tha
"Oh," returned tha composer, "that ii
where the wanderer has the hotel bill
brought to htm "
suffer with aye troubles, quick
relief from
SALVB 25c All druggistB or Howard
Bros., Buffalo, N. X.
' ' A VaefWI Biaaaeey.
Little Jamie, aged I, aaa playing
with his little Mead. Jack. At the
time Jamie chanced to have a rather
heavy oold and waa aneexisg oaltd
often. Jaok'a mother heard him sav'
ral times and sympathetically asked:
"Why, Jamie, what a oold you' bava!
Doesn't your mother give yon any
thing tor UT" "Tea. ma'am," Jamie
vary respectfully answered.- "aha gives
ma g clesn handkerchief, whereupon
ha prodifd tha prescribed "remedy."
Tha Dell""".
Charley aad mic Stand.
Ton aay your haaoaad occasionally
oonauRa a palmlatt" -
-Tea," aaswaradj yoang Mrs. Tor
kins. Ton aaa, Charley plays cards a
avast deal-
"Bat ho iaa't an aoparstklana ag la
think ha ona foretell his lackr
HNo. He tohos U for granted that
Ms luck will ba bad. Bnt he aayi K'g
worth the money rto have aomebody
tell htm he ass a hand worth looklag
aX "Washington Star. .
genaetatag ' Vow.
Tea; he ta asubllsbsd la Waa lag.
a new at the head of -a aoaxtahing
arrangement barean. . .
"What sort of a bureau"
"Why, U'a eomething entirely new.
tt takes charge ef the eaaes of dis
missed Wast Pointers and arranges for
ihelr falastatonisat,a'--ClsTalaad Plain
.-a ;
gin gatlamatleaa. 1
afo ta hla mountain retreat, the
trala robber opened the bag of coin he
had secured at the cost ef so much
trouble aad danger.
It contained nothing but Lluooln pen-
"Wall he aald. aa he took ana of
them between his thumb aad In gar aad
gasad at the rugged profile oa the ooin.
1 sever voted fur lav, aa fat darned
glad af tt now!"
"Benatar. may I ask what yoa Mat
ty think ef the new tartar ;
"As to that, young man, I moat re
fer you to my record."
"But yoa ha vent any record. Sena
tor. Toa voted aa both stdce ef the
-Then I shea id probably talk oa both
M Good morning."
dJoagdeaee of ataartaa. ,
Tn say roar dirigible balleee. tt
a unwur ,
TeO answsred the tnventar. f
"But It same doom to tha earth with
g terrible borne."
True. Bat tt hit very sleet It the
spat I was aiming at"
ma Ptd. '
"We are told," said the . Sunday
snhool teacher, "that we should kovwt
ear astghoor. Mew, who la your astgjb
her, ToaaAyr
Bat Tommy Tucker merety Washed,
bang hie head, had aald nothing. He
diont want to tefl the Bttle glrTa
LSarMalaar Baga.
Bote! -Clertt lust sign powr name
pi ease. The ether guests would Uk
to Ngteter. "Djmt- yen harry ma
young faaa. I don't eum aMthia the
I ain't read earefuily.'-Llfe. . '
la a aaloa ef
Le hfaaa, seuaoe, la which she obTmos
af praatoaau. vice president,
ead treaaurer are beM by
VT ?TW ryyT
vMahhnaa. S cm, Maaay hack U aat saafcafil.
m. SB faa. renal a. U aaaav ed
aV JahrV. aasaaaWsmTa.
.BBwaw aw aw, aaawaam ansa anank nan
aa AnateaBleal Leeataea,
ItcMurf met Pleader, tha lawyer, not
long ago. "Ah." aald he, "you're just
the man I've been looking for for a
week. I want over te your efAca, but
found yoo'd moved."
Tea, I'm a block around the corner
aow," aald Pleader. "A dentist has
my old place."
-Sor vestured UeMork. Then
after thta whoa we want our- teeth
palled well have te go where we used
to get our legs pulled." Nov York
Times, v - .
A gteeJ Ca alalia a.
. Little Molly'a father can't eulte i
where Molly got her Information, One
day wbaa her unmarried aunt waa vis
iting at the house Molly became !m
pressed with her annfs solitary state.
"Haven't yoa any husband. Aunt
Mollyr she asked. Annt Molly's pre
tended grief over the fact that she waa
huabandlesa was so real to Molly that
she undertook the task of consolation.
Never mind, dear Aunt Molly, hue
hands acold." The Delineator.
' Fitted tor the Je.
The general consulted . the topo
graphical chart. "Tou understand
colonel," be said, "that this charge oc
the enemy's fortification necessitate
the most reckless disregard for human
HfeT" "I understand, general," tht
Colonel replied. "The forlorn hope thai
leads the movement will be composed
exclualcely of amateur chauffeurs,"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The right hand, which ta mora sen
altlve to the touch than the left. Is less
senattlva than tha latter to the effect
ef heat and oold.
Vor Tjifaittg atd Children.'
Tbi Kind Yoa Han Always Boaght
. Bears tha
eTatet aa Peaaevlaar. -"So
yon were deeply touched by the
poem young Mr, QuOsum wrote to
"Teg," answered Maymta.
"But It was not a good poem."
"I don't care. It was just aa avaeh
trouble for him to write It aa If be
bid been flhatspeare " m WMl''gHn
Star. .
BowveaOs el H totes-.
The Oreeks were entering Troy en
the wooden horse.
The flret Joy ride," they chortled. .
Then the daughter comma noed
Mew York Sun.
"What do you consider the beat ef
sH the so-called' -beat eallarer " tn
gulred the caller.
- "Well, T have always Tfked old Cot
Mulberry better than any of the oth
ers," answered the InfonaaUoa editor,
turning era in to bis worn. ,
Clillflren Like
Tit HS1 mMoit nt (&lae-i
It ii to li ii if h be--sfea
eanaBtoejmar. Abeoajatjy
U. Im
mom moncM. co. n 1 1 asm
ryyi ipvouVt.
1 1 1 fin ii I Masgaeii :
ItYflJM li
Ifffl II 1 1 OUAJtAMTUn
Cf Vi 1 V JuvmaG
Hair Vigor
Ayeri Hair Vigor was good,
the best thai was made. But
Ayer's Hair Vigor, new Un
proved formula, is better. It
Is the one great specific for fall
ing hair. A new preparation In
every way. New bottle. New
contents. Ask your druggist to
show It to you, "the new kind."
Do no cAanra (A eohr of Ms Aee.
ronaala wlla. ataa haUa
s Shew ii to raar
aak aim ahawl H,
than do u ha aaye
As we w make our new Hair Vigor it
does not have ths illgbtcst effect upon
tbe color of the hair. You may use It
freely and for any length ef time with
oat fear of changing, the color. Stops
falling hair. Cures dandruff.
Wili ay the J. 0. aya-Oe Lawall, Win n
Dasa-erass Odea.
Once when Uonel Brough gave hta
humorous entertainment at a northern
lunatic asylum, be spent the hour ha
had to wait for his train la playtnsj
one of the Inmates, a harmless old gea-
tie man, a game of billiards.
Mr. Brough offered the patient 44 ha
IN. aad was beaten easily.
"If yoa go about giving odda ttke
that" said the patient, "they'll put
you to here with me." London 0pU
aeeeaHtp of Beaaty,
Schiller In hta esthetics! and phlt
soph leal essays wrote that "Beaut)
alone confer happiness on all," that
nndsr Its Influence men forget task
limitations. Happiness ta our belngi
and and aim. And without beauty eve
happiness In Its. perfect flowering
CsUUajurf MFO.
Mesas an esJaMna- water aana. pj
Steana that yon will have the moat praeuV
al DuaiaUc water ta-aly lyataai aow nt
ana. No aleoatad lank, no free an ptpaa te
Winter, bo atarnant watar In -rmir. aa
water rapply troubles af any aort. Tank
ektees la haaanant. oat af aarht and way,
aiada of pfoaHd atasL will aat mat and
Will kwt a llfeunta.
Toa will ba pleaead wtth e LBADSB
Etaia ef fnrniahine Domeatt Wataa
ply. Atk lor oar eaaloeand free
aorAW. oalgarrsdMy Water Sapew
Poriltvafi; Ore. -Spoltsme,
' Boise, klavio.
tM V
InjMKK wrttlna tm -J-;-"ri-Tf'llll
TT aaeaaiaa tCta paipee.
or la faad. Act oa taa klood aad aaU arw of D
n il I gi u COiHgX TO, fj. t, A.
JbdeMtheeWga fenaaWamnnBj
aad eoaapliee with ssnmi rft
oil pare food laws. aag 1 -
on. tjAdn-iMim '