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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (April 15, 1897)
4 BILL'S IN TROUBLE. f're got a letter, parson, from my son away out W est. An my ol' heart Is heavy as an anvil my breast To think the boy whose futur 1 had once so proudly planned Should wander from the path o' right an' come to sich an end! f told him when he left ns only three short years ago He'd find himself a plowin in a mighty crooked row He'd miss his father's counsels, an' his mother's prayers, too. But he said the farm was hateful, an he guessed he'd have to go. I know thar's big temptation for a young ster in the West, But I believed our Billy had the courage to resist An when he left I warned him o the ever-waitin snares That lie like hidden sarpints in life's path way everywberes. But Bill he promised faithful to be keer- ful. an allowed He'd build a reputation that'd make us mighty proud. But it seems as how my counsel sort o' faded from his mind. An now the boy's in trouble o' the very wustest kind! His letters came so seldom that 1 some- bow sort o' k no wed That Billy was a trampin' on a mighty rocky road. But never once imagined he would bow mv hanil in shnmn. An in the dnst'd waller his ol daddy's honored name. He writes from out in Denver, an' the story's mighty short; I just can't tell his mother; it'll crush her poor or heart! An' so I reckoned, parson, you might break the news to her Bill's in the Legislature bnt he doesn't -sny what fur. Denver Post. . THE POISONED SPEAR "It la rather a bad hole, boys, sure enough, and the Lord bless you. it was nip and took between ii'C and th devil for a little while, I tell yon. I can't even think of the thirty now wirhout feeling my blood ran cold. "Does it ever turt me? Well. 1 thould say It c-"hm. I can feel the blamed stuff rankMiig In my bones this very minute. 4tEb; what stuff? Why the poison, of course. "Well, if yon must have the story, I'll tell it, seeing as I'd have to anyhow; but as it's getting late and I'm as sleepy as a 3-weeks-old cub, I'll war rant It'll not be very long and strung out. So you want to know how I come to have that big ugly hole in my arm there, do yon? AU right, boys, all right; you shall know; you shall know. Give me a match, somebody. This tobacco must be wet, or green, or something. It's forever and eternally going out on a fellow. "Early in the fall of the year 1868 or 1809, I'm not sure which, there were some ten or twelve of us hunting wild horses on the Upper Bio Grande, in the northern part of the Territory of New Mexico. The Indians were quiet enough at the time and game wasn't scarce, so what with plenty to eat, tobacco galore, a cask of rum and pretty fair luck .with the lasso, we watched our corral getting full with contented hearts. "We had been some six or seven weeks in camp when one of the boys, an Irishman named Mike Moriarity, came in from an antelope trailbat he had been following two whole days, with the startling Intelligence that there were Indians on the creek about three miles above camp. "He hadn't stopped to get close sight of them, but from the fact that they .were mounted and that they numbered I DREW A BEAD OH HIM. no women among them he was pretty certain that they were a band of Apaches on the war-path. "This news was somewhat alarming, to say the least, for we well knew what our fate would be if we fell into the bands of the red devils, and a strict guard was set that night for, previous to that time, we had been living a happy-go-lucky kind of a life, secure In our fancied isolation, leaving the camp to take care of itself, after we laid our pipes by and rolled ourselves in our blankets. No attack was made, how ever, and three dasrs afterwards a reconnoisance of the creek above brought the welcome news that the red skins were gone. "Early that afternoon some one sug gested that we should visit the aban doned camp, and five of us, including myself and Moriarity, set ont for that purpose. As had been reported, the savages were gone and all that re mained of the late cantonment was the ashes of the dead fires and the debris of some of their barbaric feasts. "We were still wandering over the apparently deserted plateau when a hair-raising yell behind up brought us about with a start to see a score of mounted Apaches urging their mus tangs at the top of their speed towards us. "There was no time for hesitation. We were close under a row of small cottoTrWTKKls, which fringed the creek, and in a moment were out of our sad dles, for we were mounted, peppering -away at our assailants for dear life, and making pretty much every shot tell, too. "The conflict was a brief but decis ive one. Within fifteen minutes it was ended by the complete rout of the Apaches. Or rather of all but one. He --Kas a heavily built fellow, radiant ft.h warpaint, and bristling with tom .. , knife, arrows and a long spear. T r, -evidently the leader and op- posed the flight of his followers with fiery vehemence. When he found him self alone, Instead of joining the stam pede, he turned on us fiercely once more. It semed as if he single-handed and alone proposed to assail us again. "As he whirled his mustang about I drew bead on him. He caught the flash of the sunlight on my rifle barrel, and raised his spenr. Then came a report and a whiz in the air at the same time. The Apache dropped backwards from his saddle, and I clapped my hand over a deep spear wound in my arm. "The lance had struck me In the fleshy part of the left forearm and dropped to the ground. Moriarity, who was an old Indian fighter, snatched It up and examined the head, which was a section of an old knife-blade ground to a razor-like edge. He dropped It lu a moment and turned to me with a very grave face. ' I thought so, he said anxiously. " Thought what? I asked, endeavor ing to staunch the flow of blood that streamed over my band. 'What do you mean ? " I mean it's pizened, sir, was the reply. "And so it was. Upon the point of the spearhead were still some spots of thick green substance, a vegetable poi son used by the savages to render their primitive weapons more deadly In ef fect. Within five minutes I fainted with the inexpressible agony of the wound. "Boys, I've been partially scalped; I've been torn by the claws of savage beasts; I've been bored through and through with leaden bullets, and I've went for days at a time, under a hot broiling sun, without so much as drop of water to drink, but never be fore or since have I experienced the in tense suffering, the terrible misery which I endured during those few pre ceding minutes. "When I recovered consciousness, half a pound of flesh, more or less, had been taken from my arm. The opera tion spoiled Its usefulness in a meas ure, but it saved my life. "The Indian? Oh! He turned out to be Hawkeye, one of the most famous chiefs of the Apaches. He and eleven of his followers reached the happy hunting grounds at about the same time. My bullet had found his heart." The Mosquito. The female mosquito, after she has filled herself with blood -the male In sect is not a blood sucker seeks out some dark and sheltered spot near stagnant water. At the end of about six days she quits her shelter, and, alighting on the surface of the water, deposits her eggs thereon. She then dies, and, as a rule, falls into the water beside her eggs. The eggs float about for a time, and then. in due course, give birth to tiny swim ming larvae. These larvae. In virtue of a voracious appetite, grow apace, casting rheir skins several times to ad mit of. growth. Later, they pass into the nympha stage, during which, after a time, they float on the surface of the water. Final ly, the shell of the nympha cracks along Its dorsal surface and a young mosquito floats on the surface of the water while its wings are drying and acquiring rigidity. When this Is com plete it flies away. The young mosquito larvae, to satis fy their prodigious appetites, devour everything eatable they come across; and one of the first things they eat, if they get the chance, is the dead body of their parent, now soft and sodden from decomposition and long immersion. They even devour their own cast-off skins. In examining mosquito larvae one often comes across specimens whose alimentary canals are stuffed with the scales, fragments of limbs, and other remains of the maternal in sect. labal's Call. The daughter of Dr. Edward Hodges, the organist, says that her father had a delightful way of calling all the chil dren musically. One Sunday morning, when he was playing in St. John's Chapel, New York, he said to her: "I am going to call Jubal. Watch him." Jubal was sitting in his accustomed place near the middle aisle. Doctor Hodges' voluntary began thoughtfully and smoothly, but in the course of It, a significant phrase of two notes was twice repeated. It was distinct, and yet so truly a part of the improvisa tion that no stranger would have no ticed It at all. The first time, Jubal's attention was arrested; the second, be turned and looked up, but saw no sign. At the third call, he deliberately took up his hat, left the pew, walked straight up to his father, and said: "Do you want me, sir?" "Yes, said Doctor Hodges. "Go home and get my gold snuffbox. The errand was speedily executed, for the house stood near. Jubal hand ed the snuffbox to his father, and re turned to his seat. The Flutist Fluted. A funny story is told of James O'Neill when he was at Missoula, Mont. The rehearsal of the orchestra of the local theater was called for 4 o'clock In the afternoon, and Mr. O'Neill happened to be present. After the Missoula mu sicians had struggled through the over ture the actor turned to the local man ager and said: "For heaven's sake. Hartley, cut that flute out In to-night's performance. It will upset me so that I can't go through my part If you don't." The flute player overheard the remark, got up from his seat and said to Mr. O'Neill: "Now, look here, sir; I intend to play that flute if you Intend to play 'Monte Cristo. I am the Mayor of this town, and if I can't play the flute and see the show I'll revoke Hart ley's license and you can get out of town to-night." Under the circum stances it was deemed wiser to let the honorable Mayor of Missoula play the flute. His Biff Mistake. Some people never know when they are well off. A Missouri man was sen tenced to twenty years in prison for murder. He appealed, and on the new trial the jury sentenced him to be hanged. Fund to Injured Railroad Men. In ten years $1,000,000 has been paid out by the casualty fund of the British Benevolent Institution to Injured rail way men and their families. There is one thing about a crop of wild oats: It harvests Itself. All the mummy cats mummified In Egyptian tombs have red hair. The first Christian Endeavor society In Denmark was only recently organ ized. A Newton, N. H.. minister remarked, on a recent Sunday, that he would not give a cent a word" for noisy revival meetings. The imperial opera management at lenna, in the hope of stopping Jeal ousies among the stars, has Just issued a new regulation, permitting no more than three recalls after the close of acts, except in the case of first nights and special engagements of foreign ar tists. The Lend-a-Hand Society of Boston Is preparing to celebrate the seventy fifth anniversary of the birthday of Rev. Dr. Edward Everett Hale, on Saturday, April 3, by presenting to the Ten Times One Society the Hale endowment fund of $25,000. Both so cieties originated with Dr. Hale. A number of papers of Interest Methodism have been discovered In two boxes at the Wesleyan conference office in Iondon. Among them are for ty-four letters of John Wesley to his brother Charles, and eighty by Selina, countess of Huntingdon, the founder of the sect known as the Countess of Huntingdon's Connection, written to inaries Wesley. Near Phoenix, ArL, James Boyce found a steel lance point that appears to date a long way back. Some of the local antiquarians refer It to the march of Coronado. A few inches of wood, much decayed, remain attached to It The grain shows the wood to be live oak, which is not found nearer Phoenix than in Mexico, but was plentiful in Spain. The present department store system originated about forty years ago with the great dry goods firm of Todd, Burns & Co.. of Dublin. When A. T. Stewart revisited Ireland, about 1861, he examined the Innovation closelv, and began to Introduce some of the features In his New York store. It was John V ana maker who first elaborated them on an extensive scale. The curious way a word is manufac tured is found in the history of the word "deinlcked." As a Yorkshireman will say, "Them taters is demicked He means the potatoes are suffering rrom some disease of the plant. "Dem ick comes from epidemic. When the first potato blight came, a half century ago, tne farmers heard It called an "epidemic." Thus new words are coined. Among the American manufactures that are exported are barber chairs. We send barber chairs to Mexico and Central America, and American bar- ber chairs are sent also to the continent of Europe and to England. Barber chairs In limited numbers have been sent to Europe for a considerable time, but the demand for them from that quarter is increasing. A break In a six-inch water main Salt Lake City. Utah, was found on digging up the pipe to have been caused by electrolysis, the Iron in the main at the break having been made so soft by the action of the electric current that it could be readily whittled with a knife. The condition of the 124 miles of piping in the city is about to be test ed and a report made by the city engi neer. An old Russian lady, who was believ- ed to have means, died year ago at Ajaccio, n Corsica. Nothing of value, however, could be found among her luggage, neither money nor jewels, and two days later she was accordingly buried like a pauper at the public ex pense. The landlord subsequently found behind the door of her room, in a small, dirty linen bag. l.ono.ooo francs (?20.000) in notes and gold. The Masonic grand lodge of Massa ehusetts has dec ided to rebuild its tem ple on the site it has occupied for thirty years, at the corner of T re mom and Boylston streets. Boston. The temple was burned Sept. 7, 1S!5, and where to rebuild has since been a perplexing question, many Masons Advising that a less expensive site be chosen and the old site sold, expecting that it would bring enough to erect a new and com fortable building. There is excitement among Virginia peanut dealers over the big jump in the price of mits. A 50 per cent, advance on account of the prospects for an un usually shnrt crop has occurred within the past . days, and prices are still rising. This is the first rise in the mar ket since the dissolution of the big trust six montns ago. one-third of the present crop is now cornered in this way. and the larger dealers are active ly buying up all the stock they can se cure. It is thought the prices will al most reach those of 1800, when the best grades hold at 8 cents per pound. They are now 24 cents. There are rumors that the agents of a certain lottery company which was driven out of Louisiana some years ago are now In Nevada, canvassing the sentiment of that commonwealth, with the end in view of submitting the ques tion of establishing a lottery there un der the auspices of the government to the people at the next election. It Is further alleged that these agents have written to the lottery company, saying that there will be no difficulty In ac complishing the desired purpose that is, a constitutional provision permit ting a lottery to have a twenty-five years' lease of life. Schoolboy Sixty Yean Old. To find a man of 60 engaged In the study of a new profession Is an unus ual thing, and the Maine Medical School of this place thinks It has the only student of this age at present tak ing an undergraduate course In this country. James Scott, of Crow Harbor, Guys boro, N. S., has entered upon the three years course at the school, and when he receives his degree of M. D. he will have passed his 60th milestone. He is a native of Dumfriesshire, Scotland, and went to Nova Scotia at the age of 18. He has been a Baptist minister at Crow Harbor and other places in Nova Scotia for many years. Within the last four or five years he has been studying and practicing medicine in a desultory way, especially in cases of accidents, and he finally made up his mind to acquire a thorough medical education. When Mr. Scott first came to college here few of the college boys knew that in the neatly attired old school gentle man with the kindly face, whom they met on the campus, was a schoolmate of their own. Later on, though, this having become generally known, some of the would-be smart ones made a midnight visit on Mr. Scott, Intent on smoking him out. They were gracious ly received. Atthis juncture one of the boys, keen er than the rest of his companions, walked across the room to Uncle Jim's chair, thinking the smoke pretty thick in the Immediate locality, and found the sturdy Scot contentedly puffing away at a little black "T. D." an inch and a half long, with the blue ribbons of smoke curling above him, and smil ing beamingly. The gang shortly departed, aud no further attempts have been made to fumigate the medic's room. Mr. Scott has a wife, three daughters and a sou at Crow Harbor. Portland Dally Press. First that Ever Refused Him. There Is a big policeman at one of the crossings on Fifth avenue whose duty It is to prevent people from Immo lating themselves on the altar of their own carelessness, and to this end he beckons and warns and Invites by wave of his friendly hand or a. com mand of his stentorian voice. At the same time he smiles In the mo-1 reas suring manner. ' A few days ago. when the m id was spread In liquid abundance over that portion of Chicago, this policeman beckoned to a stately matron of mature years to cross between an incoming street car and an outgoing dray, with several minor vehicles wedged be tween. But the matron refused with a severe shake of ber dignified bead and waited. "Come over. I tell your roared the big poltcema n, with his regulat Ion smile. She waited until nothing movable was in sight, and without deigning to notice the man of helmet and visor sailed past bis outstretched hand. A broad smile was on his weather-beaten face as, nothing daunted by the scorn of the haughty dame, he said: "You're the first gur-r-1 that ever re fused me." The astonished woman looked at him In frozen astonishment, but the beam ing smile on his broad face was too much for her. 'I believe It," she said, with an an swering smile, as she went on her way. Chicago Chronicle. Paper Bags and Bard Times. The manufacture of paper bags is an Industry which depends largely on Its prosperity to a prevailing condition of hard times. The more stringent the financial pressure becomes, the more paper bags are used. In the grocery stores customers will come in who, in stead of ordering a bushel of potatoes, will order a quart of potatoes and carry them home in a paper basr. Groceries of all kinds are purchased In small quantities, and the paper bag Is used almost exclusively to do up. not only groceries, but fruit, vegetalles and can dies. A customer In hard times will drop in and buy half a pound of tea. In a few days he will conie again and buy another half pound. In good times he would have bought a couple of pounds. and one bag would have wrapped it up. It is so with all Kinds of groceries and everything purchasable far which pa per bags can be used, and the only real complaint which will be found coming from the paper bag manufacturers will be on the occasion of prosperous times coming on us again. The paper bag mills are doing a thriving business now. and until the growing evidences of prosperity culminate In a genera! re sumption of business activity through out the country, they will not lack for a constant and large demand for their goods. But when the mechanic begins to buy potaoes by the bushel, apples by the peck, coffee by five-pound packages and flour by the Iwrrel, then the paper bag will hide Its dim lushed bead and prosperity be with us once more. A Pr ncely Dan dr. The greatest dandy in the world Is Prince Albert of Thurn. This fastid ious young men attires himself In a new suit every day. enough yearly to keep twenty experienced workmen go ing, and to run up a bill of $1;"VMh). Each suit of wearing apparel is hfghly perfumed with attar of roses at $25 an ounce. He wears no less than l.OOO neckties during a year, being an aver age of three a day. A laundry employ lug twelve people is kept specially for washing his soiled liuen, which he never wears more than twice, and his cast-off boots number 200 pairs a year. The cigarette bill of this highly-scented young gentleman reaches the respecta ble total of $1,000 per annum, and the different sports he engages In, includ ing bunting, shooting, fishing, golfing and bicycling, cost him more than $75, 000. Answers. The Slaughter or Birds. The outcry over the slaughter of birds for millinery purposes Is said to be without cause. The honor of sup plying a large part of the demand Is lalmed for the bumble barnyard fowl, w h 1 le a In rge pa rt of the pa ra 1 i n plumes and ospreys are clever imlta- ions. Regarding the real osprey, buy ers ay that It Is absurd to suppose hat It is obtained by killing the mother bird on her nest, since that would soon exterminate the species, whereas the sr.pply is Increasing in respous to the demand. While buyers and storekeor.- rs claim the alove Is true, the tueni- ters of the different societies to pre- ont the killing of birds declare Hint the little animals are now being slaugh tered In greater numbers than ever be fore. A Wide DiflTereuce. Here Is a lesson in the correct use of two words that are often confounded: A fine-art critic was looking over the pictures that had been submitted for a public exhibition. Well," said a friend, "what do you think of them?" I'm er answered the critic; "some of them ought to be hung, and some of tbem ought to be hanged." Detroit Free Press. No wonder there Is so much com plaining in this world: one class of people have too much to eat, and com plain of dyspepsia, while another class haven't enough to eat, and complaiu of hunger. UHEiMLDMlONHHUROi tfce di Lpn ChurrJijOn ffie bid Where ftp oM luaAons riauVd Of the farmer wfo came, tvhen fv tt! J. . T i rui ine pjov.ana inepionir nsno reaper away. I can near Ifie tiWT5rahonMfowoufrroniIftechou; Bubbling over the? mvm. arid lib foffieshi'r Where one pair of bluebirds on To join mfnefrymsof the old MWhen orchards enfold if Where swifr swaHo-ws oUZionChurchlcoHSwirmSfrrini L ; And meidneoi irs beii on mesrifl Aummnmoml Weds tfieaua'ISmellowallo.fsroff in)fie com. I And " Wintt r Ifce snow wraps Be 4arani birch That keep walch by Ifie graves bj-rk ol J ZionOwclj Chicago Times-Herald. MAGNET TO SAVE EYESIGHT. Powerful Instrument Causes Metal Particles to Come Forth. Every man who works where parti cles of metal fly about is liable to get one of them iu his eye. Time was when such an accident meant blindness in one or both eyes, but nowadays this Is not so. There Is In the New York City Eye and Ear Infirmary a magnet which has repeatedly drawn out of the human eye such an atom as used to destroy sight. The magnet Is of suffi cient power to lift sixteen pounds and It takes 120 volts of electricity from the incandescent light eircuit to actuate it. When an eye which has become the unhappy possessor of a fragment of iron or steel is brought near this mag net the presence and location of the metal is immediately made manifest by a bulging of the coats of the eyebali. This is the exact spot located, and with the attraction continued at full limit the matter of the extraction of the particle becomes simple. When a patient comes to the doctor to be treat ed for an injury to the eye he is seated In a chair with a headrest, facing a good light. The doctor first steadies the eyeball with the thumb and fore- ! THE HUGE MAGNET finger of the left hand. Should be dis cover that the bit of metal Is very minute and not to be readily seen, he calls an assistant, who focuses the light upon the eye by mesns of a large six Inch reading lens. When he finds that the particle can be seen nicely he takes the gouge or the bistoury, the two dainty and yet terrorizing Instruments of the eye specialist, and with the point of either he makes an insertion benenth the particle, and In a moment, if the surgeon "be skillful, the metal is out upon the surface. A HANDY DOG. Draws a Pr apectiniE Outfit for a Colo rado Miner. A novel prospecting outfit may be seen once a week at Sawpit, a mining camp in the San Juan country,, Colo- BETTEB THAN A HORSE. rado. Every Sunday a miner arrives from Deep Creek, where be has several claims that are in process of develop ment. Harry Wilkes is the name of the hermit, whose life seems bound up country road. 1n mkf'fft UaJ ftie calm Sbott dr . . . i . 1 Sunday did bercrl Zion Church N And our fears in swt bfossomind swim Irtr ff b'jjlotvsof wheal", , ffle old Zion Church, where the fell cedar waves If manfe of i loom o'er my ancestor's dTavee, Where rnv fsfifernd molnerwereionAaooIaid. And the ivhiboorwill When my hm comes i would like To return To Ifie Scenesof my Nrml, 5 hake off Iheold husK,)eave tne worfd in ffc hlr-ch. lor Heaven can't be far in that of his prospects and his bumble four-footed companion, through whose services he is able to prosecute his work In the middle of winter in a coun try where the whirr of the snowslides passing down the adjacent moan tains is the only music that enlivens the te dium of the long evenings. ieep Creek Is off the regular trails that lead .to Sawpit, and thus is separated by an area of snow that would not stand the weight of an ordinary pony, especially during the warm hours of the day. when the surface snow is soft. Wilkes is poor too poor to lay In a winter's supply of grub, and only capable of buying as be gets out a small quantity of ore. He thought himself of a St. Bernard dog, which he bad brought to the cabin when the first snows of the winter fell, and after a little applica tion mauaged to break him to harness. Having accomplished this much Wilkes next built a rough sled and now goes to town every Sunday for his grub. The dog makes good time, while his master accompanies him on snowshoes. The trip is made with an average of 200 pounds of tools and merchandise. The intelligent animal trots off with the load at a gait that makes it warm for DOING ITS WOKK. Wilkes to keep up with, and often ne cessitates a wnit on the part of the dog for his owner to overtake him on some of the steep hillsides. A ljost Diamond. i Glasgow lady has had a singular experience. About the beginning of November Inst she paid a hurried visit to her business premises, and while there lost the diamond from a favorite ring. Search was made everywhere for the precious stone. The shop was given an extra sweep, the dust placed in a "hnir" sieve and wnshed, but not a trace of the lost jewel was got. Con cluding that the diamond was gone for good, the ring wns reset, and the loss almost "forgotten, when the owner's daughter, who had accompanied her to the shop on the occasion, remarket!: "Mother, there's something in the heel of my right boot which catches the car pet every step I take." "See what it is," was the reply, and there, firmly Imbedded in the solid leather, was the missing diamoud. Singularly enough during ttie past two mouths the youug lady hfld been In the count y and walk ed over the hard macadamized roads. Diamond, in no way Injured, and boot heel ate to join the heirlooms of the family. .Adelaide Observer. Not Goilty. Judge Guilty or not guilty? Prisoner Not guilty, boss. Judge Ever arrested before? Prisoner No, boss. An I nevah done stole n u til n before, needer. Ha rper's Weekly. lK olJ Zion Church-Down ifs homely old disfes Tbe river of son A brok in ripples of .armies. Thro Thr sunshine Jftatweefe-ned ftieoWoaKeti floor; often flowed when Wie whole vjfloeiww Where The bonnie wee bobe,in us wflia jnn sicdj. Hfe old rhrson SJdhow Death in his search ? jewels of Ood came to old Zion Church. y mourns in fnemtfrmuroua te say frwH toftte aartft.j from Tneold Zion Cho r Rob'pf M Intyrm.. I ch. WRITES LIKE THE WIND. Isaac P. Dement, the Man Who Dashed . yUff42 Words in a Minute. Writing shorthand came naturally to Isaac S. Dement, the man who broke his own record of 3iH words a minute the other day at Quiucy by dashing off 402 words in the same length of time. r and thus demonstrating anew bis right to the title of the world's champion ship. His brother. Merrett H. De ment, who taught him his first lessons In the art, was one of the best stenog raphers in the country in his day. An other brother. James E. Dement, is one of the leading members of the pro fession in Chicago. It will be seen that -the Dement family Is well represented in the great army of stenographers. Mr. Dement looks upon stenography as an art and a science, as well as a profession. He has been making hooks and curves since he was a boy, and has yet to find the Individual who can dictate faster than he can write. All public speakers are alike to him In that he has never met one who as much as bothered him. The ones who have tested his powers of speed most fully were Dr. Phillips Brooks, the noted preacher, and Rev. H. V. Reed, who used to preach several years ago in Chicago to a congregation of pre miilennists. The latter talked to Mr. Demfnt once at the rate of 250 words a minute for half an hour, and this Mr. Dement regards as the hardest propo sition he ever encountered. For the past four years he has been out of the field as ad active reporter, devoting hia time and abilities to the business ofj publishing his text-boobs on short- hand. In his spare moments Mr. De ment gives his literary genius a chance and writes novels. In addition to this he finds time to exercise his inventive powers, and has patented several use ful media ideal devices. The New Yankee Doodle. The children of New York city are singing the following lines to the tune of Vaubee Doodle: Do not spit upon the street. In cars or public places: This is far from being neat. And leaves unwholesome traces. Dread disease is- spread about By such seltisb doing; We will try to put to rout Smoking, spitting, chewing. Any Old Thing;. "Has your husband given much thought to the political situation?" said one woma n. "Yes." replied the other; "I guess he'll take any that offered him after the election." "Any what?" "Any political situation. He says be needs the salary." Washington Star. The Most bifficnlt. Quericus What do you find to be the most difficult things to compose? Musician The baby. New York" Journal. There is only one pan of a man that feels better on Monday than It felt on Saturday, aud that is Ins corns.